Morning again, and--once again--the Sanzo-ikkou is riding in the jeep to their next destination. It isn't as if the occasional lull in dangerous encounters doesn't overtake them every now and again, but even when there isn't a single youkai threat in sight, usually there is at least a little internal commotion for them to focus their attention on. Namely, Goku and Gojyo arguing. Lately, however, this has not been the case, since Goku remains his younger self and generally keeps to himself while mulling over how to win his beloved's heart.
The ongoing silence that has been produced by Goku's mental transformation lingers far too thickly as they travel on, and although silence can be soothing and perfectly healthy, it is grating on their nerves more than they dare say.
Well, more than most dare say...
"That's it! I can't take this anymore!" Gojyo erupts from the back seat, startling the younger man beside him, and almost causing Hakkai to veer off the road after such a sudden outburst. "Just say something already, you self-centered prick!!" he bellows at the back of Sanzo's head. "Here we are like idiots, continuing west one monkey short, acting like it's no big deal! If you're not going to try and do something to help him, you could at least acknowledge his existence, ya know? And I don't mean by giving some half-assed 'sorry' for being the dick-head we all know you are. Do you realize how screwed we are if we get attacked? Maybe you don't give a shit, you sorry excuse for a priest, but I sure as hell do!"
Tense pause. After years of experience with such insolent behavior directed at him, Sanzo is not ruffled by Gojyo's accusations in the least. He doesn't even flinch or turn his head to address the kappa directly. "There is nothing to be done but wait it out." he speaks, vaguely soft and low, and strained despite its semblance of being controlled. "As for being 'screwed' if we're attacked, you better be joking. We can handle ourselves just fine without that monkey fumbling around. Besides..." He allows his voice to fade, lifting his semi-bent head towards the dim horizon in front of them. "...we're about to find out."
Gojyo's crimson head jerks to the side, squinting through the sunlight to follow Sanzo's--and now Hakkai's--incessant gaze. A few yards in front of the jeep, four, full-grown, fully armed youkai have appeared, and it is highly unlikely they represent the next town's welcoming committee.
"Shit..." Gojyo grunts, kicking himself for having opened his big, fat mouth--yet again.
Bringing the jeep to a halt, Hakkai turns off the engine and sighs loudly; why is it that the unexpected always has to happen?
Turning around in his seat, Sanzo looks very seriously back at Goku, who is eyeing the group of youkai with obvious fear. "Stay in the jeep." he commands.
"But...Konzen--"
"No matter what happens, stay down and stay out of our way. Understand?"
Goku is hesitant, but nods, and slips down low in his seat to hide from view. Satisfied, Sanzo turns back to the quartet waiting for them expectantly, and opens his door.
"Well...this should be interesting." Hakkai comments, smiling as always, as he, too, steps out of the jeep, and the three oldest member's of the Sanzo-ikkou head out to meet the challenge at hand.
Indeed, there are four youkai, none seemingly more the leader than any of the others. Two have darker hair and appear to be brothers, with matching markings above their eyebrows. Another is rather tall and thin, with long, white hair and reptilian eyes. The last, and largest, has dark, almost black skin, with navy hair, and is equipped with the longest bladed staff out of his companions. All are armed with such staffs, and size aside, all are more than likely as deadly as the others.
"You guys must be pretty brainless if you're willing to take us on." Gojyo sneers, hoisting shakujou over his shoulder with mocking ease.
The largest and most unique of the youkai grimaces, twirling his staff threateningly. "Foolish humans." he grumbles, with a voice like turned up gravel under Hakuryuu's grinding wheels. "Four of us against three of you, and you DARE act superior?"
Hakkai finds these words immensely funny. "Haha. What makes you think we're human?" he smiles, a flash of light glinted off his monocle in subtle warning of his inner power.
"Your master is a Sanzo priest." one of the brothers rationalizes, gesturing towards Sanzo, who is impatiently scowling with his arms firmly crossed over his chest.
Now it is Gojyo's turn to find humor in the situation at hand. "Heh." he laughs, much more condescending then Hakkai's gentle fluttering. "Your argument sucks."
The willowy youkai with white, almost silver-spun hair gasps, taking closer notice of the figures before them. "This is no ordinary Sanzo and his servants. These are the ones we were told about. Look at that one with his red hair and eyes. He's a half-breed. One of the cursed blood."
"And the other one..." notes the younger of the brothers, pointing out Hakkai. "...he's wearing limiters."
"How dare you side with the humans, taking orders from a monk?" the dark-skinned youkai demands, stepping forward as his companions point out the ikkou's peculiarities.
Gojyo steps forward as well, bringing shakujou out in front of him to brandish its crescent blade. "Let's get one thing straight: this monk is NOT our master, and I'll be damned if I ever take orders from anyone."
"Silence, you abomination." the pale-haired youkai seethes, stepping up parallel to his darker comrade. "You disgust us enough with your human blood. To fight along side one...revolting."
Crimson eyes narrow darkly. "Shut the hell up, jackass!" Gojyo cries across the increasingly small space separating the two groups, barely holding his temper in place. "I fight for myself, got it? Whether the person backing me up is human, youkai, or mixed makes no difference to me."
Stepping up next to Gojyo, Hakkai grants support in body and spirit, casting his companion a gratifying smile. "Well said, my friend. Now...shall we begin?"
On equal footing, the pair charges forward, each taking up their own opponent, and leaving the younger of the brothers and the one with silvery hair for Sanzo.
It isn't terribly surprising that Sanzo hasn't spoken, but had he found some nasty comment to throw in his opponents' faces, his heart most likely wouldn't have been in it. Not today. Not this week. Not after all that plagues his mind...and his heart. He merely fights, eager to end this battle quickly.
Normally, such enemies would be rather easy to dispose of, but Sanzo is forced to fight off two instead of one, considering they seem most interested in offing him--which is of little surprise since it is said Sanzo priests make excellent meals, and grant whomever can devour them eternal life.
No one has lived to prove this myth--so far.
"Such a high and mighty man." the silvery youkai sneers, slashing out with a clawed-hand and sweeping his staff at Sanzo's legs with the other. "You won't even speak to those who are about to destroy you?"
Sanzo jumps out of the staff's reach, but doesn't reply, barely escaping the slash of those claws at the same time. He kicks at the younger youkai behind him, reaching inside his robes for his gun to tackle the taller one in front of him first.
Having been sent to the ground, the dismissed youkai finds himself closer to the parked jeep, and as he looks it over, he discovers a huddled figure peeking up over the seats, seemingly trying to stay out of sight, though still attempting to watch the action. Smirking a moment back at his companion fighting Sanzo, the youkai slithers closer to this hidden treasure, and grins to show his fangs as the young man--poor Goku--realizes he has been found.
"Well, what do we have here...?" the youkai grins with a lick of his lips. "An appetizer perhaps?"
Knowing that huddling lower would only prove to trap himself, Goku backs away and slips out of the jeep on the other side, unthinkingly summoning his staff.
'I'm not worthless...' he assures himself, standing on guard as the youkai moves around the vehicle towards him. 'I can fight. I know I can. I'll prove to Konzen how much he needs me...'
Clumsily, Goku charges at the approaching youkai, lashing out with his staff. Although the youkai has been removed of his own staff, it makes little difference, for he catches the end of Goku's weapon in one swift motion and tugs on the end, sending Goku off balance.
A few yards away, Sanzo is still trying to gain the upper hand and find a clear shot at his opponent, but the lithe youkai is incredibly fast, and keeps managing to dodge him. After another near-miss, Sanzo catches sight of the jeep out of the corner of his eye, and sees Goku struggling with the youkai he himself had so recently brushed aside. The blonde curses himself for having been so foolish and blind to what was going on, and thus distracted by Goku's predicament, is blind-sided by his opponent with a swift right hook to the face.
Goku gasps, watching as his guardian crumbles to the ground, dazed and at the mercy of his enemy. Able to think of nothing else, Goku turns back to his own opponent, and with hardened eyes, more like those of an experienced fighter than a child, he yanks his staff out of the hands of the youkai facing him and wheels it back to come flying forward, hard into his chest.
Just as Hakkai and Gojyo finish off their counterparts--all too easily--Goku, too, finishes off his, and without another thought, he bounds away from the jeep, rushing to Sanzo's aid.
"How sweet. Your pet is coming to rescue you." the silver-haired youkai grins wickedly down at Sanzo, pinning the monk to the ground with a boot in Sanzo's back. Sanzo can see his gun, knocked a few feet from his hand, but is unable to reach it. "You'll all pay for what you've done to my comrades. You especially will pay, priest, for daring to turn those with noble, youkai blood against their own kind."
Bringing his bladed staff above his head, the youkai prepares to dispatch the monk as he has vowed, and Gojyo and Hakkai have been drawn too far away to reach the pair in time.
Just as that weapon comes hurtling downwards, however, it is suddenly no longer in the youkai's grasp. Almost in a blur, the staff is snatched away, whirled around, and suddenly slashing itself brutally through the youkai's midsection, cutting him in two. The mangled body twitches a moment on the ground, but the wound is far too severe to allow him any final words before his body goes still.
Sanzo looks up, in complete disbelief that the figure above him could be capable of such a devastating strike. Hakkai and Gojyo are equally stunned, their mouths practically dropped to the dusty ground as they stare in shock at the determined features of Goku. Their Goku.
Or so it would seem...
Tossing the staff to the side, his own left on the ground beside the jeep, Goku reaches a hand in assistance to Sanzo, and smiles brightly, unfazed by what he has just done with such speed and surprising ferocity.
Sanzo stares at that hand and up at Goku's smiling face, struck by the achingly familiar presence the younger man is emitting, even without trying. "Goku...?" he breathes, unsure how to take what his senses seem to be telling him.
"Hai, Konzen?" Goku innocently replies.
Freezing at the sound of that name, even as he is allowing Goku to help him up, Sanzo realizes that what has just occurred is not enough to bring HIS Goku back. "Nothing." he grumbles, and then angrily snatches his hand away from the monkey's lingering hold. "Baka, I told you to stay down! Never disobey me again!"
Goku recoils only slightly, appearing shrunken under Sanzo's cold stare and harsh tone. "...hai." he concedes shyly. "I promise I'll listen next time."
"Good." Sanzo confirms, and for the briefest moment, he moves his hand to rest on Goku's head, nestled in the soft strands of brown hair. "And...thanks."
Goku and the others find themselves stunned once again, but it still is not enough, for the monk tears his hand away, pushes his emotions aside, and heads to the jeep without the smallest look back.
"Let's get going."
The others follow suit, not sure if this is progress or not. Hakkai and Gojyo are still a little stunned over Goku's victory anyway, especially coming from such a chibified personality. Nevertheless, their journey stops for nothing, and the next rest stop is still a good distance away.
Everything takes time.
-----
A slightly nicer Inn--with slightly less agreeable townspeople--finds the ikkou with two bedrooms once again, this time having decided to split the group with Hakkai and Gojyo in one room and Sanzo and Goku in the other.
Perfect, ne?
Actually, Sanzo is still mulling over how he can convince the monkey to share the others' room, preferably before it gets too late. Laying back on his bed, not ready for sleep but not in the mood to talk the owner's ear off as the other three are doing right now, the discontented monk has been trying to figure out why the hell he agreed to such an arrangement in the first place. It's not as if he's giving in. He's isn't admitting anything. He doesn't have to--
'You're wasting time, Konzen darling.' Kanzeon's voice echoes in Sanzo's head, plaguing him--invading him. 'If you keep stalling like this, I might just have to make Goku's transformation permanent.'
Sanzo grimaces, focusing his gaze and his anger on a single spot on the ceiling above him. "I never agreed to anything, you arrogant bitch, so I DON'T have to follow your rules. Who says I'm going to listen to your crack-pot advice, anyway?"
Melodic laughter ricochets over his mental walls. 'Your heart says more than enough.' she teases.
"Fuck off!" Sanzo bellows at that unfortunate spot, sitting up in bed and glaring icy heat into that chosen point of focus.
Nothing. Not even a grumble of disappointment replies. Sanzo doesn't like that one bit; Kanzeon Bosatsu is never this easy to get rid of, whether she manifests herself physically or not.
"...ano...Konzen...? Who are you talking to?" filters in Goku's hesitant voice from the doorway.
Sanzo jerks his eyes away from the ceiling, at last understanding why the goddess has left his mind. At least, for the moment. Turning to his charge, Sanzo sighs, swinging his legs off the end of the bed. "No one." he answers in frustration. "And for the last time, my name is Sanzo! Get it right!"
"...hai." Goku replies, bowing his head. He enters slowly, closing the door behind him, all the while feeling Sanzo's fierce, violet eyes watching him. Had they been Konzen's eyes, he would have welcomed their attention, but he must remind himself that this is Konzen only in spirit and there is still much to be done. "Umm...Sanzo...?" he speaks, shuffling towards the bed.
"What?" Sanzo snaps, not sure how much he likes the idea of Goku being any closer to him than he already is, especially since the little monkey is inching closer by the minute.
Goku stops just in front of Sanzo and shuffles his feet like a five year old begging his mother for a candy bar at the store. "Am I...alot different from your Goku?"
Damn that soft and tender tone. "Not really." Sanzo replies dismissively, still watching Goku intently, though refraining from meeting the monkey's gaze. "Aside from somehow being a helluva lot more annoying...you're still you. Just...younger...less impulsive...less loud, thank God, but...that's about it."
"Then...why don't you love me?"
To hell with that heart-wrenching tone; Sanzo pushes off the bed and heads for the other side of the room, avoiding the question.
"Is it because...I'm not REALLY him...?" Goku presses further, pursuing Sanzo in words and action, as his insistent feet follow the monk across the floorboards. "Or...is it because...you didn't love him, either?"
"I already told you!" Sanzo whips around, causing Goku to stumble a few steps back. "I don't love you, and that includes BOTH versions."
Goku does his best to hide the obvious hurt in his eyes. "...hai. Demo...I don't understand why. Konzen loved me, and...I know you're not Konzen...you're Sanzo...but...a part of you is still Konzen even if you refuse to see it."
Pushing past the younger man once again, Sanzo returns to the foot of his bed, desperate to escape these questions, and those damn, pleading eyes. "Don't you EVER give up?! Can't you just accept that I'm not Konzen!?"
A small, dispirited smile. "No, I can't." Goku replies evenly, following Sanzo just as intently as before. "You ARE Konzen, and somewhere inside of you is the man who loves me. I know this because...I have a feeling...Sanzo loves Sanzo's Goku...just as much as Konzen loved me."
"Urusai! I can't stand this!" Sanzo erupts, whirling on Goku now, and stalking towards him with fueled malice. His nerves have reached their inevitable end. "I can't stand this endless arguing! I can't stand those damn eyes constantly looking at me like...like I'm supposed to care! Why won't you just leave me alone...?"
Tears slowly begin to fill Goku's large, golden eyes, and though he tries his best to hold them back, a few renegade streams slip down his cheeks anyway, begging to be seen and understood. "Because...I love you..." he whimpers, nearly drowning Sanzo with those eyes, and their overwhelmingly pitiable sight. "...and...and I thought...you would be...nicer...since I...saved you from that youkai...and...and..."
"And what?!" Sanzo cries, towering above Goku like an ominous demon, unfazed by tears or tremors. "I owe you a small debt of gratitude, so you want me to FUCK you for it!?!"
Goku blanches, a large lump rising in his throat to choke off any immediate response after that vulgar accusation. Unwittingly, he begins to back away. "I...I never said I wanted--"
"But that's what this is about, isn't it?" Sanzo cuts in, advancing on Goku as the younger man backpedals to get out of his master's reach. "If that's all you want, then maybe I should just give it to you and shut you up for good..."
Goku flinches; Sanzo's tone burns, and the grip he attacks his companion's shoulders with is nothing short of searing. Distressed by the brutal nature of Sanzo's intentions and expression, Goku struggles to get away, but finds himself unable to escape or cry out as he sinks down, pinned under immense weight, with his back--all too quickly--pressed hard into the floor.
Sanzo is on top of him on the ground, and the large hands pawing at Goku's clothes are anything but gentle.
"Yamete!" the young brunette cries, shaking too fiercely to properly fight Sanzo off. "Please...this isn't what I want..."
The boy's pleas fall on deaf ears, however, and Sanzo vigorously continues his assault. While holding Goku down with one leg, the other forces the monkey's legs apart, and Sanzo's smooth hands explore Goku's body unthinkingly and uncaring for how deep and intimately they venture. Goku cannot see the monk's face, either bent to be veiled by blonde hair, or buried hotly between the brunette's shoulder and neck.
"Please...please don't--ah!" Goku cries, gasping as Sanzo succeeds in untucking his shirt, jerking it up and discovering all too sensitive skin.
Roughly running his palm up along Goku's chest with one hand and over his hips with the other, Sanzo offers no reply or reprieve, suddenly biting hard into Goku's shoulder. When Goku releases a scream, the blonde instinctively reaches up with one of those hands to cover that revealing mouth, painfully firm and commanding.
Goku's voice becomes muffled behind that warm palm, and soon, only his wracking sobs can be heard softly filling the room.
Sanzo pulls up harder on Goku's shirt, ripping it slightly on one side.
Jerking as that free hand brushes over his navel and lower to his hips again, Goku's breathing rapidly increases pace as his bestial attacker begins tugging down the waist of his pants.
Pushing at Sanzo with semi-free arms proves not enough, leading Goku to thrust upwards with his hips in a final attempt at getting away. This incidentally results in Goku's smaller pelvis grinding into Sanzo's, and the boy groans against Sanzo's hand still covering his mouth, despising himself for reacting to something he knows he doesn't want, and never intended.
Still fumbling with Goku's pants, Sanzo continues to tug them down, revealing the groves of the boy's narrow hips. As he begins to reach under the waistband, however, he suddenly feels Goku's body go limp under his touch, no longer fighting him.
Goku is giving in. Giving up. The poor, beaten monkey is so broken, he can't even struggle anymore, resigned to the horror Sanzo is about to put him through.
But Sanzo goes no further, at last struck by the realization of what his unjustified anger has brought him to. Flinching away, Sanzo lifts himself from Goku's shivering body, trembling himself as he clumsily stumbles back and collapses against the wall. Pulling his knees into his chest, he hangs his head, finding it difficult to bring his breathing back to normal.
'Fuck...what the hell was I doing...?'
Goku is unable to do much of anything other than slightly sit up on his elbows, his clothing still in shameful disarray, and his skin flushed pink from Sanzo's ravaging. "...Konzen...?" he breathes, no longer afraid for himself, but faithfully worried over the condition of his cherished keeper.
"What?" Sanzo hisses, not lifting his head, nor caring that he has once again been labeled someone he is not.
Goku opens and closes his mouth a good dozen times, but ends up saying nothing at all. There isn't much he CAN say, not when he is still unsure why Sanzo has done what he just did.
Sanzo sighs deeply, overcoming the last few traces of heat lingering low in his stomach. Right now, he feels much more like throwing up. "I...I'm sorry..." whispers the monk's sudden and unexpectedly sorrowful voice when Goku fails to speak. "I don't know what I was thinking. I'm just so fucking frustrated...and angry...and...scared..." The last word is breathed barely above a dim whisper, but still, it is there. "I know none of that excuses what I did, but..." He trails off again, for once in his life hating the still of silence. "Damn it, will you just say something?! Please..."
At last recovered from whatever depth of Hell he had been exiled to, Goku sits up fully and fixes his mussed clothing--pulling down his torn shirt, and pulling UP his now low-riding pants. What odd acts. What impossible acts, ones he is forced to complete...because of Sanzo.
Still silent, and now somewhat presentable again, Goku crawls across the space of floor separating him from his blonde guardian and slides up next to him, daringly, cautiously, slipping an arm around Sanzo's shoulders.
Sanzo jumps, surprised to find Goku so close, and though he doesn't move away, at last lifting his head from his knees, he refuses to look down into those golden eyes--forever an image that haunts him.
"Daijobu desu, yo, Konzen. I'm not mad." Goku speaks tenderly, still startling Sanzo with the innocence of his tone coming from a voice and face he knows so well. "I know you didn't mean it. I just...don't understand what you're so afraid of."
For a moment, Sanzo contemplates pushing Goku away, but dismisses the idea once realizing he can't bring himself to move. The warmth of Goku so close, offering such powerful support, overwhelms him, nearly eradicating the chasm that had built between them through his foolish actions. "I can't...lose someone again..." he admits slowly, staring forward at nothing. "...someone...I love...you don't understand...it's not...possible..."
"Why do you think that?" Goku inquires back, holding Sanzo more firmly against his side. "Who did you lose before...?"
Sanzo stiffens. "It doesn't matter..." he offers weakly, and at last discovers the will to move as he attempt to slip from Goku's grasp.
Bravely holding firm, Goku tightens his grip, slipping his other arm around Sanzo's waist to hold the monk in place. "It DOES matter. This wouldn't be so hard for you if you didn't love me back. You're afraid you'll lose me like you lost someone before? Fine. Who?"
Stepping up his struggling, Sanzo uses all his strength to break Goku's embrace, but his attempts are--miraculously--in vain. "Damn you...! Let...go...!" he demands through clenched teeth, shocked at Goku's strength.
Only moments before, Goku had been at the mercy of Sanzo's hold, and yet, now that the monkey has been given the upper hand, his true power lends him what he needs to complete what he knows he must.
He is no longer afraid, so there is nothing to hold him back.
"Please..." Goku pleads, pulling Sanzo in even closer, so that the monk's head is resting on his shoulder. "...tell me..."
Sanzo replies with a final fit of desperate maneuvers to get away, but soon gives up the fight completely, knowing he is not meant to win. "...it...it was...my master...my...father..." the blonde strains to speak, and then decides to alter his description. "The man...who raised me as if I was his own son. He...he was...everything to me..."
"And he...died?" Goku probes further.
"...right in front of me..." Sanzo confirms. "...and all because of me..." he adds, his voice filled with tears, though none have dared fall from his heavy, violet eyes. "I...couldn't do anything...I was too slow...too weak...worthless..."
Goku would have gasped if he'd had the air. "...like me..." he chokes, struck by so much he had forgotten.
"...what?"
"I remember now..." Goku begins in explanation. "...the day you died...the day Kenren and Tenpou died. It...it was all my fault..." His voice fades, and that old, uncomfortable silence washes over them like incessant waves. But Goku is not finished, because the story does not end there. "Demo...it doesn't matter, because...because I would never take back loving you, no matter how much it hurt to lose you. What we had...what we could have had...it was worth every ounce of pain."
Sanzo pales at these words, and speaks without even realizing his lips are moving. "I...I would never erase loving him. Never..." And as the words flow from his mouth, he realizes they have been in him since the day his master died, even though he refused to give them life.
He made a vow to save himself from future pain, but in doing so, he had forgotten how worth it all that pain really was.
A choking sob breaks free, disappearing into Goku's shoulder as Sanzo turns his head to bury his oncoming tears within the pair's embrace. The monk's entire body trembles and shakes, and Goku immediately begins to feel the dampness of tears soaking through his shirt.
"I'm...such a fool..." Sanzo cries into that comforting shoulder, his words muffled, though not enough for Goku to miss the message. "...it's too late...too late. I...already...need you...more than I ever needed him..."
Goku swallows hard at this admission, cradling Sanzo lovingly in his arms as the monk weeps gentle tears--tears that have been waiting years to find release.
"...I already...couldn't bear losing you...because...because I...already...love you..." he whispers, so softly, had Goku breathed, he would have drowned the declaration out. "Heaven help me...I DO love you...Goku..."
Instantly, Goku begins to shift, readjusting his body's position as his hold on Sanzo becomes suddenly new and unfamiliar, as if...he has become someone else in the blink of a tear-filled eye. "Ne...Sanzo...?" he prompts, sounding oddly confused.
Pulling his face from the folds of Goku's shirt, Sanzo stares with red-rimmed eyes up into his companion's perplexed face. He knows immediately that the young man he is looking at is not the same monkey he had just been confessing to. "Goku...?"
Goku grins, the expression reaching all the way to his eyes and making them shine brighter than any polished gold. "Yep." he laughs simply. "Past AND present accounted for."
"Then...you...you're--"
"Back? Seems like it. And, hey, seems I get to keep the old memories along with the rest. Lucky me."
Contemplating this turn of events, Sanzo remains wrapped in Goku's arms even as his face twists suddenly to one of aggravation. "That bitch! She set this whole thing up so that the only way to get your memories back was admitting I loved you."
Goku laughs openly at Sanzo's exclamation. "Kanzeon..." he chuckles, thoughtfully reminiscent of the goddess he remembers so well now. "She would do something like that."
Just as swiftly as he had returned to the familiar comfort of his temper, Sanzo deflates back to the young man who just recently stopped crying on his charge's shoulder. "...what do we do now?" he asks, hating how much like a lost child he sounds--and feels.
A wicked grin takes over Goku's features. "Hot sex?"
Sanzo stiffens, his face drained of all color before Goku can even finish his naughty suggestion.
"Ehh...bad joke, huh?" the brunette laughs nervously, hoping to mend the damage he has just inflicted upon their newfound honesty.
A moment of tense, awkward, and loaded silence passes, while both remain locked within the other's gaze.
"Sanzo, listen...I can't promise I'll always be there, okay? I can't." Goku begins, keeping his golden eyes vigilantly fixed on Sanzo's violets. "Stuff happens, and one day...something might happen to me. But that doesn't mean I won't TRY to always be there. It doesn't mean I'll stop loving you. Yeah, in case you were wondering, THIS Goku loves you just as much as the younger version. And I might have never said a thing if not for Kanzeon's meddling. What matters is that past and present me loves you--Konzen, Sanzo, whatever--just the same. Can...can that be enough for you...?"
"...I don't know." Sanzo replies, clumsily swiping at his damp eyes, and hating that HIS Goku is seeing him like this--so vulnerable. "Still..." he adds, finding it difficult to keep his eyes on Goku as Goku is so confidently doing in return. "...it would be...very foolish of me...to refuse you, wouldn't it? Now that I know...how I feel. So...I suppose...we could give this a try."
The light in Goku's eyes, the depth of his sparkling smile, all beam brighter than the sun on a hot day in the middle of Summer.
Still stubborn enough to feel slightly put off by such a loving expression, Sanzo tears his eyes away, and lays his head tentatively back on Goku's shoulder. "Can we just...stay here...for a while...?"
"I don't think I could move right now anyway." Goku agrees, easing into the feel of Sanzo pressed in close against him.
"Good. But if my legs start falling asleep, we're switching positions."
Goku chuckles lightly into Sanzo's hair as he rests his head on top of his...love's. "Whatever you say..."
tbc...
A/N: Phew, that was a dozie, ne? Long and complicated, with lots of things going on. Don't worry, this isn't the end. I have another chapter in mind for certain, and I may or may not continue past that. The next delves further into Hakkai and Gojyo's relationship (per your request) and comfirms Sanzo and Goku's. Plus, I'll prolly throw in Kanzeon saying "I told you so!" just for kicks. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and if you did, PLEASE REVIEW so I know how it was and if you have any further suggestions. (thanks for the grammer help on not/naught, by the way) ja, minna!
Crim