She liked the chair, really she did. And the room it was in. It was her own special private place. How thoughtful of them to give it to her. How kind of them. And she appreciated it, really she did. And she'd love nothing more than a chance to show that appreciation. She'd hug them, and hug them, and hug them until she felt their ribs crack one by one, slowly, irrecoverably crushing the organs inside.
And then she'd make them a meal to show how thankful she was. Pigs in a blanket would do nicely. Ten little piggies, one from each of their feet. Yes, garnish them with a nice white wine sauce and she'd serve it to them. And she'd make sure they ate it all up. Right down to the last hangnail.
And then there was the 'kidney pie' to contemplate… Yes, she'd like nothing more than to show her appreciation for her accommodations.
But of course, there was the guest of honor to think about, mustn't run out of food for her. No, no. Xena was much too important a person to be left hungry. There was so much to prepare for her. Dishes she would simply die for. 'Hair string Spaghetti'… 'Blood Pudding'… 'Finger Sandwiches'… The list went on and on. Yes, she simply must have Xena over for dinner… And then there was her little friend. Dessert…
Yes, she would have to get around to thanking everyone personally who was responsible for putting her here. Thank them, and thank them, and thank them…
***
"What's the matter Xena?" Gabrielle turned to her friend, worried.
"Huh? Oh, nothing. Just thought I felt something. It was nothing." She banished the mood by cracking a smile. "The question's more like what's the matter with you?" Xena gave the bard a friendly shove. "The way your stomach's been growling a person would think you were starving."
"I haven't eaten since breakfast," Gabrielle put in defensively.
Laughing, Xena threw an arm about her friend's shoulders. "Let's see what we can do about that, eh?" And with her free hand she gestured at the tavern up ahead.
Her eyes lighting up, Gabrielle raced ahead. "Race 'ya there!"
"Cheater!" Xena called back good naturedly, watching the blonde run for the tavern.
She'd been that enthusiastic once. What had happened to that youthful exuberant girl she had known? Shaking her head ruefully, she started for the tavern.
It was dark inside. Small wonder, Xena thought. By the looks of the patrons, light was a decidedly unwelcome visitor. As it was, more than a few winced and placed their hands to their heads as Xena stood in the doorway. Unsympathetic, Xena strolled up to the bar, taking a seat next to Gabrielle, who was already starting on a rack of ribs.
"Kinda heavy for lunch isn't it?" She asked mildly.
"Mmmupthgmm!" Gabrielle replied, trying to talk around the mouthful of food, and failing.
"Don't talk with your mouth full. It's not polite," The warrior woman admonished her friend absently while gazing around the room.
Your typical tavern, not too shabby, but having seen more than its fair share of activity. The tabletops were stained, and Xena could smell the stale ale and dried sweat. Though Gabrielle seemed obvious to anything expect the plate of food before her.
Xena caught one of the patrons looking at her. She looked right back. He quickly adverted his eyes and became suddenly interested in his drink. But it had been long enough to set off bells in Xena's head. She'd seen him somewhere before. Now where—
"I said," Gabrielle interpreted her train of thought, "that who knows when we might get another chance to eat." Taking a swig from her beaker, she washed down her meal.
"It's not all that bad," Xena said, refocusing her attention on her sidekick. "We've got rations enough."
Gabrielle wrinkled her nose at the suggestion. "Blah. If I have to eat those for one more night I'm going on a hunger strike."
"More for me and Argo." Xena retorted brightly, noting the scowl that crossed her friend's face.
"Aren't you going to have anything?" She questioned Xena, steering the conversation back to the present.
"As a matter of fact, I think I will. Barkeep, an ale if you please." Giving a quick nod, the barkeeper trundled off to get some.
Gabrielle pulled another face. "A bit early isn't it?"
"Nonsense." Grinning wickedly, she raised her voice a bit louder. "Look at these fine fellows," She motioned around the room at the patrons nursing their hangovers. There would be no rest for the weary while she was there.
As her ale arrived, she decided to take a stroll around the room. Picking up her tankard, she seemingly wandered aimlessly about. In fact, she was sizing up the crowd more carefully, while at the same time trying to identify that man in the corner.
They all averted their heads as she passed, but it was somehow different than the way he did. Ambling closer, she made a show of sitting down opposite him.
"Whew," she said by way of introduction, "Sure is dusty out there today, isn't it?" The man mumbled noncommittally.
"Yep," she went on undeterred, "Starting to get hot too. Good thing this tavern was handy. To think we were about to set up camp a couple of leagues back." She watched the stranger's face to see how he reacted.
Was that the briefest flicker of lamentation she saw cross his face? She couldn't be sure. "Yep, nothing like a mug of cool ale to set you to rights though. But how about you neighbor?" She queried the rather shifty figure, "You from around here?"
"No. Just passing through…" He replied, keeping his eyes fastened to the drink in his hands.
"Us too," Xena went on. "Where you headed?"
"Martimas," the man said rather unsteadily.
"Us too!" Xena lied, "What do you say me and my friend tag along?"
The man looked frantic. "Ah, no. Ah, did I say Martimas? I meant Athens."
"Ah, too bad." Xena said, sounding disappointed. "Well, maybe next time, eh?" Her face brightened as she rose from the table.
"Yeah, sure." The man said, relief in his voice.
As Xena made her way back to the bar, the man called out for the barkeep, paid his tab, and left as quickly as possible. Xena gave him ten minutes, then turned to Gabrielle who had just finished her lunch.
"Let's go," she said, tossing a few coins onto the bar.
"What's the rush?" The bard asked, wondering at Xena's sudden urgency. Outside the bright sunlight made her squint.
"That man, the one I was talking to," Xena replied as she got Argo ready. "I thought he looked familiar."
"Who was he?"
"A thief named Salvitorus, he was in my army once. I never forget a face. Wherever he's at, trouble's not far behind. He's up to something, and I want to know what it is.
"So what's the plan?" Gabrielle was fired up to be on another adventure.
"The plan is," Xena said, turning to look her friend square in the eye, "for you to continue on to Amphipolis. My mother is expecting us, so I'm counting on you to 'convey my apologies'. I'll meet up with you there after I'm finished."
"No way!" Gabrielle replied indignantly. "Go to Amphipolis while you get to have all the fun? Not happening." She crossed her arms resolutely. But Xena was having none of it.
"You are going to Amphipolis," she stated as a matter of fact, while leveling Gabrielle with 'the look'.
"You are going to tell mom I'm sorry I couldn't make it," she went on. "And you are going to wait for me there until I get back." She finished, her voice like ice.
And though Gabrielle could get away with more than anyone else around Xena, even she knew there was brooking no argument when the warrior princess used that tone. So she submitted, but only reluctantly. And she made sure Xena was fully aware of her displeasure at the decision.
"This sucks," the longhaired bard told her friend. "You might need me, but fine, fine!" She threw her hands in the air. "You can cook your own meals. And you can brush Argo yourself. And you can collect your own firewood. In fact, I should be thankful. I get a vacation. I'm free from being 'the Warrior Princesses' handmaiden'. You can get your own stuff, I'll have free time at last!"
"That's the spirit," Xena grinned, pretending to be oblivious to the irony in Gabby's voice.
"Humph!" The bard fumed, actually stomping her foot on the ground.
When they got to the fork in the trail, Xena sent Gabrielle off towards Amphipolis while she herself made ready to follow the other path. The one Salvitorus had taken. He was heading for Martimas after all.
Her anger having mostly subsided, Gabrielle still called back over her shoulder, "Don't expect any nut bread when you get there!" and stuck her tongue out at Xena. And with that parting shot, she turned the bend, being lost to sight to the chuckling Warrior Princess.
Shouldering her sword, she turned to her horse, "Ready to go hunting old girl?" Argo whinnied in response. "I thought so." Mounting up, Xena started down the trail following Salvitorus' tracks.