~*~To Love And Lose~*~
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* By: Toby-Chan *
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* Chapter 2
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It was a dull afternoon, and the rain, with no signs of letting up soon, was threatening to make prisoners of those far from home. In the Akabeko, the customers gazed out the window and heaved a little sigh. Some decided to brave the storm with a sheer determination to make it home again, and others had no problem waiting it out with their sake glasses in hand. Farmers on the countryside in their sheds out with the animals just prayed they could make it back to the houses without catching cold.
And on the Kamiya Dojo, the houseguests had no option but to pester their hosts for a while longer.
Sanosuke leaned against the wooden door post overlooking the front courtyard, where the dirt ground was being made into paths of sloshy mud, and the rain made rhythmic little plinks on the cover of the well, like many tiny hands beating on a drum.
"Well, Kitsune, looks like you'll be staying here a while," He declared with a sarcastic little glance over his shoulder at the woman behind him.
"Hmph, nobody said you had to stay, toori-atama." She said, giving her bangs a quick flick to get them out of her eyes. She stood nearly a head shorter than the younger man, but every time they spoke, she seemed to assume dominance over him.
He looked once again into her overbearing eyes and averted his gaze. Man, she could be scary sometimes!
"It's not like I like you staying," He argued, moving once again into his defensive smart-ass mode, "But, I mean, you do make pretty damn good Ohagi."
She tried to hide her grin, enjoying this game they often played. Attempting to put on her most annoyed face she scoffed,
"Typical man," she said, rolling her eyes, "You only think with your stomachs. Or your-"
"That's not true!" He interupted, making a fist out of conviction with his words, "You just don't know me well enough! I bet I could be smarter than you!"
"Ohohoho!" She giggled, covering her mouth, "That's a laugh, baka! You couldn't figure your way out of a paper bag."
"Could too!"
"Toori-Atama."
"Kitsune!"
Their quarrel continued much to the chagrin of the others in the room. They had gotten used to the combatative nature of the two strong egos, but sometimes they wondered when it got over the top.
Megumi, on the other hand, loved arguing with the baka rooster. She felt like she had an idiot brother to keep her busy fighting with. The conflict always arose the youthful feeling she felt she had been robbed of having in her early years.
Sano... well, he liked fighting, period.
The Kenshin-gumi watched intentively as the two exchanged insults and occasionally supressed laughter. How they managed to come up with so many different ways to argue was beyond their comprehension.
In the distant corner, Kaoru raised her bokken over her head and sliced downward quickly, as Yahiko mimicked with the swings of his Shinai.
'Thirty one, thirty two, thirty three, thirty four-... dammit, this is getting boring,' he thought, drawing his expression inward to be more and more exasperated. 'Thirty nine, forty...' He was about ready to throw down his sword.
"Busu?" He asked Kaoru, trying to find some diversion to keep his mind busy.
"I'm not going to respond to that," Kaoru said, intently keeping her eyes forward.
"C'mon!" he ignored her warning, "When are we actually gonna start sparring?"
Kaoru responded, not pausing from her excersises.
We can't," swing, "spar," swing, "until," swing, "You're," swing, "done with," swing, "Your practice." She paused and panted, a little bit flushed.
"So keep going!" She pointed her bokken at his face.
"Whatever, Busu." He grumbled gripping his shinai handle.
"Who are you calling Busu, kid?"
"I'm not a kid, dammit!"
The attentions of the room were directed towards the second fight taking place. Megumi and Sano with their bickering was one thing, but with Kaoru and Yahiko things always had the potential to get violent, especially when they both had their weapons.
"Maa, maa!" Kenshin tried once again to play peacemaker, "We don't another broken wall like last time, de gozaru."
Both of the shot a dagger glare at him and continued to yell.
"That was this brat's fault!"
"I wouldn't have done it if you hadn't pushed me!"
"Pushed you? We were sparring! You jumped at me!"
"And you stepped out of the way!"
"Well make up your mind! Did I push you, or move out of the way?"
Kenshin humbly stepped back. He knew how to pick his battles.
Soujiro, who had been quietly observing up until now, leaned over towards Kenshin.
"Are you sure you shouldn't stop them?" He asked, concernedly.
"No. Sometimes it's best to let them get it out of their systems. They fight like a cat and dog, but Sessha knows that deep down they're fond of eachother. And besides, the last thing we need today is built up tension while we're all rained in together, de gozaru."
Soujiro nodded and returned to the circle of mats on the floor, where the others, including Sano and Megumi, had settled.
"Have a look at this!" Misao said, proudly setting a wooden board in the center of the circle, ignoring the loud shouts behind her.
"It looks like a Go* board." Sanosuke said, scratching his head.
"I bought it the other day downtown. It's called Chess."
"Chess?" Sano gave a puzzled look.
"It's a western game, you moron." Megumi said leaning on her elbow and studying her fingernails, "So how do you play?"
"I don't really know." Misao said, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "The merchant gave a paper with instructions on it... but I don't think he spoke Japanese very well." She displayed the poorly written Kanji as evidence.
"I can play." Soujiro said, meekly.
"That's great! Here, you can show how to set up the pieces!" Misao tossed him the cloth bag of wooden figures.
"Well, you start out putting these in front here, they're the pawns. And the castles go on the side over here..." He continued to explain to the intently listening audience, excluding Sano who lost interest in the game after he couldn't remember the difference between the pieces.
Click. Misao made her first move, with a knight.
"Sou-san... how do you know how to play this game?" She asked, watching the pieces assemble into their spaces like little battalions. A truer smile grew on his face when she asked.
"Yumi-San and I used to play this often." He moved his bishop to the right.
"Did you win?"
"Often I did. Chess is like Kenjitsu. You can predict your opponent by his emotions."
They looked at the board in silence a while, and resumed moving their pieces.
They played on, as Soujiro continued, moving and studying Misao's cherubic face, which hid very little of her thoughts.
"The important thing about Chess," he continued, "Is that the goal isn't to slaughter your opponent, but to corner him, so he has no more choices." With this he set forth another pawn, where Misao could easily take it.
She did, but of course that put her other pieces into a dangerous position.
"Damn! I shouldn't have done that!" he cursed, looking at her mistake.
Kenshin, who had been watching in fascination, reflected on this sacrifice.
'You give up the pawns to fight for the king,' He said to himself, 'It's all a part of that mentality. The weak perish, and the strong survive...'
"Check... mate!" Soujiro said, sliding another pawn into position in front of Misaos king.
"What?!" She yelled, "I almost had YOU!" She slammed her fists on the floor, causing the taller pieces to fall over.
"But you let your gaurd down. You can't be agressive with out protecting yourself." Kenshin smiled slightly watching Misao's defiant grin grow. Seeing Misao happy always seemed to bring joy to the others.
"Alright, so I lost this time."
"But you played well for your first time."
"Well, I will beat you come our next game!"
"And I look forward to it."
A shinai came sailing out of the air the next instant, and sent the rest of the chess pieces flying.
"Look what you did now, baka!" Kaoru's voice rang.
"It wasn't my fault, Busu!" Yahiko pouted, running up to the board.
"Sorry!" He said, picking up his shinai.
"We were finished anyway." Misao shrugged, causing Yahiko to freeze in surprise.
"What, you're not gonna pummel him, weasel girl?" Sano asked, leaning on his fist.
"Nope, but you, on the other hand, had better watch out!" She threateningly displayed a kunai.
Sano gulped, and shrank back.
Although she continued to smile and chat with the others, Misao lost herself in some deep thoughts.
'You don't attack him, you corner him so he has no choice...'
~*...*~
"Ohagi!" Yahiko yelled, forgetting his conviction of five minutes before to remain silent out of anger to Kaoru.
"Thanksh Megfummi!" He muffled gratefully, his mouth already stuffed with the sweet rice balls.
"Don't eat them all, Yahiko!" Kaoru scolded grabbing one for herself.
"I thought you were supposed to be on a diet," He said, rolling his eyes.
"Shut up!" she spat, "My figure is just fine!"
"Yummy!" shouted Misao, ignoring the fight going on beside her, "I just love Ohagi!" She took a huge bite and smiled thankfully at Megumi.
"Maybe you could teach me how to make these." She said, "I'd like to be able to make something for Aoshi-Sama besides just tea."
"Well, they're pretty easy to make. Next time you can help me."
"Really?" Her eyes started to sparkle, "That would be great!"
Aoshi quietly had a few while Sano sat on the floor noislily munching.
"I gotta hand it to you, kitsune." He said halfway through a bite, "These are pretty good."
"What makes you think they're all for you?" She asked, grabbing the box of ohagi, "Ken-san needs some too, you know." She picked up a piece and offered it to Kenshin.
"Erm... thank you, Megumi-Dono..." He hesitantly accepted it.
"No problem, anata." She winked at him, which fortunately was not caught by Kaoru.
A low rumble of thunder sounded outside.
"Still raining," Kenshin sighed, gazing out the window.
Nobody noticed Aoshi leaving the room, except for Misao who followed him quietly.
In the adjacent room, he sat on the floor, in the spot where he usually meditated. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath, facing the shelf where a vase and a burned out jar of insense sat.
The air was cold, very cold, with the rain that fell outside. His eyes still closed he took in his surroundings, the constant rhythm of the rain, the bite in the air that caused goosebumps to rise on his arms, and the creaks of the walls and floor.
He didn't need to look up to know she was there, watching him. Even if he hadn't heard her breathing, he could have sensed she was behind him, he could sense the longing in her heart.
'Misao-Chan,' he tried to say with his mind, 'Please, please leave. I don't want you to be hurt.' He still heard her breathing, as they both stood still, quietly grasping the moment.
'Why do you continue to follow me, Misao-Chan?' He prayed that she would stop and leave. He mournfully wished that she would stop her infatuation. He knew she loved him, and he knew she deserved a better man.
He heard her step forward.
'Don't hurt yourself, Misao-Chan.'
And step forward.
'Please don't come any closer.'
And step forward again.
'I can't love you that way.'
Without looking he felt her sit down beside him, crosslegged, mimicking his position. She observed everything he did and copied, synchronizing her breathing with his.
'Aoshi-Sama, please notice my feelings.' She pleaded in her thoughts.
'Misao-Chan, please give it up.'
She looked at him for a long time, before he finally opened his eyes. He still didn't look at her, only kept his head straight forward.
"Aoshi-Sama," She said quietly.
No response.
"I know it's rude of me to come in here..."
She waited for some sign from him, but recieved none.
"There's only one way to say this Aoshi-Sama. I might as well say it now!"
He turned cold, in spite of the already chilly room. He pleaded that she wouldn't.
"I love you, Aoshi-Sama," her cheeks turned pink, as she stared forward, same as he was doing, "You're the only man I ever loved."
'You're the sister I never had. Don't do this, Misao-Chan.'
He was frozen in his spot with words he could not say.
"Dammit, Aoshi-Sama say something!" She begged, her eyes starting to show tears.
Only his mournful eyes could show anything of his thoughts.
"Just say you love me!" She had reached over and grabbed his shoulders.
"I can't!" was all he said harshly, pushing her away, and she fell backwards on the floor. She wasn't as strong as he expected her to be. She was just so... small.
"I can't," he said, remorsefully, "You're just a child."
She clenched her fists together, gazing at him, feeling as though this had happened before.
"That's all I've ever been to you!" She yelled furiously, "I'm just a child! You don't care for me at all!"
'I care for you, Misao-Chan. You're all I have for family.'
"Misao-Chan-"
"Don't call me that, anymore!" She screamed, and left the room.
It was quiet again, and the gentle thunder rolled, moving on time, as if nothing had happened. But the apocalypse had already taken place. He felt it. He felt her pain.
'I wish it could be different.' He thought... 'but, wishing does nothing.'
Misao stormed through the next room, not caring who saw her. She ran past the whole group, and into Kaoru's room where she had been staying.
"Stupid Aoshi! Stupid love! Stupid Misao-chan!" she cursed to herself, stomping around and throwing things. "It's all so stupid!"
She kicked a dresser and slumped down against the door.
The whole group paused, watching Misao go past in a blur. They all could sense what had happened.
With thoughtful eyes, Kenshin watched her run down the hallway, her angry feet echoing as she disappeared.
'So she finally told him,' He bowed his head, 'Aoshi... what did you do?'
He stepped into the next room, where he knew Aoshi and Misao had been. Everybody watched, but said nothing. Kaoru set down her rice ball and followed Misao.
Aoshi still sat in his meditative position, as though nothing had happened. It was dark now, and the moon barely shone through the unrelenting rain.
Kenshin watched Aoshi and tried to think of what to say. He kneeled beside the tall ninja, gazing forward at nothingness.
There was a contemplative silence before Aoshi was finally the one to speak.
"I- never wanted to hurt Misao-Chan." He said with sorrow in his tone.
"You still call her chan, Aoshi. She's not a little girl anymore."
Aoshi shrunk his broad shoulders down into a slouch, which he hadn't done before. He hung his head in shame.
"You tell me that time and time again, Himura." He muttered, "I just can't believe it. I can't think of her any other way. She's not a woman, she's not a lover, she's just my Misao-Chan."
"I know you have very fond feelings for her. But she dosen't see that. You see her as a little sister, rather than the strong woman who loves you and followed you around half of the country. She fought and risked her life just to prove herself to you. You betrayed the Oniwabanshuu, and shattered her trust in you, and yet your returned and she forgave you, just as soon."
"I know."
"So why won't you at least give her a chance."
"I can't love her. Not in that way."
Kenshin looked with sympathetic force at Aoshi.
"Won't you even give her a chance?"
"Hn."
"Why can't you at least consider her?"
"Because-"
"Is there another?"
The question hit a nerve. Aoshi winced as though he had been hit by a large weight. That was enough of a response.
Trying to sort things out, Kenshin looked back at Aoshi's behavior. There was nothing he had ever said or done to prove that he wanted anyone else. He strained harder, trying to think.
"Is it Megumi?" Kenshin asked slowly. Aoshi's icy eyes fixed on the ceiling and strayed back to Kenshin's face.
Misao heaved a great sigh, slouching her shoulders against the wall.
'I never should have said anything,' She thought regretfully to herself. She fumbled around for something to throw and her grip blindly landed on a soft paper object.
"That paper balloon," She said, looking at it reverently. She drifted back to the day she bought it in the market, nostalgic for the times when Aoshi would give her such things to play with.
"I can't give up on Aoshi-Sama," She spoke into the empty space, lifting herself up, "I'm going back to talk to him."
"Why do you think that it's Megumi?" Aoshi asked, tentatively.
"I've seen the way you look at her. I know she is a painful reminder of your past, but I never thought you felt that way about her."
"I don't. But I feel an affinity with Megumi."
"Why is that?"
Aoshi drifted back in time through his thoughts and memories. Megumi, the woman who made the opium for Kanryuu. He never supposed he would be coexisting with her, let alone coming to care about her feelings. She was a wounded soul as well, but she rarely showed it. He had always wondered what let her even stand to be next to him. It was he; Shinomori Aoshi, who had told her to kill herself that night. How could she stand to look at him now?
She was looking, though. Not just at him, but at Himura. She loved himura. It seemed the redheaded rurouni was quite the opposite to her than the dark ninja. The man who encouraged her death, and the man who talked her out of it. And one of them, she loved.
He remembered the time he had been driven to insanity by grief. The madness of desire for power. He pursued Battoussai like he was hunting an animal; it became the primal drive for his existence. To kill Kenshin was the reason he gave up everything; betrayed everyone.
But each time Himura avoided his kodachis, he had a deepened respect for the man. Though he could not put it into words, there was an ironic sense of chivalry he felt towards him, as he tried to take his life. When he finally regained his direction, and abandoned his dream of slaughtering Battoussai, he retreated to his meditations. In the long hours of thought and reflection, he came to realize, that the force drawing him towards Kenshin was far more than a swordsman's respect. He felt love.
Seeing Megumi-San pine after Himura without him knowing her true pain, only proceeded to remind Aoshi of his own feelings, and further his understanding of Megumi.
Now Himura himself was asking who it was he loved, and how could he answer?
"Why do you feel an affinity with Megumi-Dono?"
Aoshi studied Kenshin's face. The strong resolve, the sense of ultimate truth, the spirit he had fallen in love with.
"We both love the same person, who knows nothing of our feelings,"
Before this comment could settle in on Kenshin, Aoshi had turned to face him. He placed his hands gently on Kenshin's shoulders and leaned forward to kiss him.
He did so, taking in everything about that moment, because it would not last, and he knew that well. His first and possibly only kiss with the one he loved. Aoshi savored the feeling, although it was fleeting, while he was unsure of Kenshin, who seemed too shocked to do anything else.
For that moment, there was a frozen space in time, where for just a second, the rain drops stopped falling, and the pendulum on an old grandfather clock stopped swinging.
That moment was frozen, for the second Misao stepped in the doorway, and saw everything...
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* End- Chapter 2
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* A/N I'm sorry, that was kind of sad. It's my first ever Shonen Ai, so it may sound a little akward. Heh.
~~~Words~~~
Go- A board game in Japan. I'm not sure of the rules.
Toori-Atama: Rooster Head. (Sano's nickname)
Kitsune: Fox People often call Megumi "Kitsune Sensei", meaning "Fox Doctor"
Ohagi are sweet rice balls, and Bokken and Shinai are training swords.
That's about all. If you have other questions of definitions I've left out, please feel free to ask.
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Now please review! Pretty Pretty please! ~*~
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* By: Toby-Chan *
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* Chapter 2
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It was a dull afternoon, and the rain, with no signs of letting up soon, was threatening to make prisoners of those far from home. In the Akabeko, the customers gazed out the window and heaved a little sigh. Some decided to brave the storm with a sheer determination to make it home again, and others had no problem waiting it out with their sake glasses in hand. Farmers on the countryside in their sheds out with the animals just prayed they could make it back to the houses without catching cold.
And on the Kamiya Dojo, the houseguests had no option but to pester their hosts for a while longer.
Sanosuke leaned against the wooden door post overlooking the front courtyard, where the dirt ground was being made into paths of sloshy mud, and the rain made rhythmic little plinks on the cover of the well, like many tiny hands beating on a drum.
"Well, Kitsune, looks like you'll be staying here a while," He declared with a sarcastic little glance over his shoulder at the woman behind him.
"Hmph, nobody said you had to stay, toori-atama." She said, giving her bangs a quick flick to get them out of her eyes. She stood nearly a head shorter than the younger man, but every time they spoke, she seemed to assume dominance over him.
He looked once again into her overbearing eyes and averted his gaze. Man, she could be scary sometimes!
"It's not like I like you staying," He argued, moving once again into his defensive smart-ass mode, "But, I mean, you do make pretty damn good Ohagi."
She tried to hide her grin, enjoying this game they often played. Attempting to put on her most annoyed face she scoffed,
"Typical man," she said, rolling her eyes, "You only think with your stomachs. Or your-"
"That's not true!" He interupted, making a fist out of conviction with his words, "You just don't know me well enough! I bet I could be smarter than you!"
"Ohohoho!" She giggled, covering her mouth, "That's a laugh, baka! You couldn't figure your way out of a paper bag."
"Could too!"
"Toori-Atama."
"Kitsune!"
Their quarrel continued much to the chagrin of the others in the room. They had gotten used to the combatative nature of the two strong egos, but sometimes they wondered when it got over the top.
Megumi, on the other hand, loved arguing with the baka rooster. She felt like she had an idiot brother to keep her busy fighting with. The conflict always arose the youthful feeling she felt she had been robbed of having in her early years.
Sano... well, he liked fighting, period.
The Kenshin-gumi watched intentively as the two exchanged insults and occasionally supressed laughter. How they managed to come up with so many different ways to argue was beyond their comprehension.
In the distant corner, Kaoru raised her bokken over her head and sliced downward quickly, as Yahiko mimicked with the swings of his Shinai.
'Thirty one, thirty two, thirty three, thirty four-... dammit, this is getting boring,' he thought, drawing his expression inward to be more and more exasperated. 'Thirty nine, forty...' He was about ready to throw down his sword.
"Busu?" He asked Kaoru, trying to find some diversion to keep his mind busy.
"I'm not going to respond to that," Kaoru said, intently keeping her eyes forward.
"C'mon!" he ignored her warning, "When are we actually gonna start sparring?"
Kaoru responded, not pausing from her excersises.
We can't," swing, "spar," swing, "until," swing, "You're," swing, "done with," swing, "Your practice." She paused and panted, a little bit flushed.
"So keep going!" She pointed her bokken at his face.
"Whatever, Busu." He grumbled gripping his shinai handle.
"Who are you calling Busu, kid?"
"I'm not a kid, dammit!"
The attentions of the room were directed towards the second fight taking place. Megumi and Sano with their bickering was one thing, but with Kaoru and Yahiko things always had the potential to get violent, especially when they both had their weapons.
"Maa, maa!" Kenshin tried once again to play peacemaker, "We don't another broken wall like last time, de gozaru."
Both of the shot a dagger glare at him and continued to yell.
"That was this brat's fault!"
"I wouldn't have done it if you hadn't pushed me!"
"Pushed you? We were sparring! You jumped at me!"
"And you stepped out of the way!"
"Well make up your mind! Did I push you, or move out of the way?"
Kenshin humbly stepped back. He knew how to pick his battles.
Soujiro, who had been quietly observing up until now, leaned over towards Kenshin.
"Are you sure you shouldn't stop them?" He asked, concernedly.
"No. Sometimes it's best to let them get it out of their systems. They fight like a cat and dog, but Sessha knows that deep down they're fond of eachother. And besides, the last thing we need today is built up tension while we're all rained in together, de gozaru."
Soujiro nodded and returned to the circle of mats on the floor, where the others, including Sano and Megumi, had settled.
"Have a look at this!" Misao said, proudly setting a wooden board in the center of the circle, ignoring the loud shouts behind her.
"It looks like a Go* board." Sanosuke said, scratching his head.
"I bought it the other day downtown. It's called Chess."
"Chess?" Sano gave a puzzled look.
"It's a western game, you moron." Megumi said leaning on her elbow and studying her fingernails, "So how do you play?"
"I don't really know." Misao said, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "The merchant gave a paper with instructions on it... but I don't think he spoke Japanese very well." She displayed the poorly written Kanji as evidence.
"I can play." Soujiro said, meekly.
"That's great! Here, you can show how to set up the pieces!" Misao tossed him the cloth bag of wooden figures.
"Well, you start out putting these in front here, they're the pawns. And the castles go on the side over here..." He continued to explain to the intently listening audience, excluding Sano who lost interest in the game after he couldn't remember the difference between the pieces.
Click. Misao made her first move, with a knight.
"Sou-san... how do you know how to play this game?" She asked, watching the pieces assemble into their spaces like little battalions. A truer smile grew on his face when she asked.
"Yumi-San and I used to play this often." He moved his bishop to the right.
"Did you win?"
"Often I did. Chess is like Kenjitsu. You can predict your opponent by his emotions."
They looked at the board in silence a while, and resumed moving their pieces.
They played on, as Soujiro continued, moving and studying Misao's cherubic face, which hid very little of her thoughts.
"The important thing about Chess," he continued, "Is that the goal isn't to slaughter your opponent, but to corner him, so he has no more choices." With this he set forth another pawn, where Misao could easily take it.
She did, but of course that put her other pieces into a dangerous position.
"Damn! I shouldn't have done that!" he cursed, looking at her mistake.
Kenshin, who had been watching in fascination, reflected on this sacrifice.
'You give up the pawns to fight for the king,' He said to himself, 'It's all a part of that mentality. The weak perish, and the strong survive...'
"Check... mate!" Soujiro said, sliding another pawn into position in front of Misaos king.
"What?!" She yelled, "I almost had YOU!" She slammed her fists on the floor, causing the taller pieces to fall over.
"But you let your gaurd down. You can't be agressive with out protecting yourself." Kenshin smiled slightly watching Misao's defiant grin grow. Seeing Misao happy always seemed to bring joy to the others.
"Alright, so I lost this time."
"But you played well for your first time."
"Well, I will beat you come our next game!"
"And I look forward to it."
A shinai came sailing out of the air the next instant, and sent the rest of the chess pieces flying.
"Look what you did now, baka!" Kaoru's voice rang.
"It wasn't my fault, Busu!" Yahiko pouted, running up to the board.
"Sorry!" He said, picking up his shinai.
"We were finished anyway." Misao shrugged, causing Yahiko to freeze in surprise.
"What, you're not gonna pummel him, weasel girl?" Sano asked, leaning on his fist.
"Nope, but you, on the other hand, had better watch out!" She threateningly displayed a kunai.
Sano gulped, and shrank back.
Although she continued to smile and chat with the others, Misao lost herself in some deep thoughts.
'You don't attack him, you corner him so he has no choice...'
~*...*~
"Ohagi!" Yahiko yelled, forgetting his conviction of five minutes before to remain silent out of anger to Kaoru.
"Thanksh Megfummi!" He muffled gratefully, his mouth already stuffed with the sweet rice balls.
"Don't eat them all, Yahiko!" Kaoru scolded grabbing one for herself.
"I thought you were supposed to be on a diet," He said, rolling his eyes.
"Shut up!" she spat, "My figure is just fine!"
"Yummy!" shouted Misao, ignoring the fight going on beside her, "I just love Ohagi!" She took a huge bite and smiled thankfully at Megumi.
"Maybe you could teach me how to make these." She said, "I'd like to be able to make something for Aoshi-Sama besides just tea."
"Well, they're pretty easy to make. Next time you can help me."
"Really?" Her eyes started to sparkle, "That would be great!"
Aoshi quietly had a few while Sano sat on the floor noislily munching.
"I gotta hand it to you, kitsune." He said halfway through a bite, "These are pretty good."
"What makes you think they're all for you?" She asked, grabbing the box of ohagi, "Ken-san needs some too, you know." She picked up a piece and offered it to Kenshin.
"Erm... thank you, Megumi-Dono..." He hesitantly accepted it.
"No problem, anata." She winked at him, which fortunately was not caught by Kaoru.
A low rumble of thunder sounded outside.
"Still raining," Kenshin sighed, gazing out the window.
Nobody noticed Aoshi leaving the room, except for Misao who followed him quietly.
In the adjacent room, he sat on the floor, in the spot where he usually meditated. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath, facing the shelf where a vase and a burned out jar of insense sat.
The air was cold, very cold, with the rain that fell outside. His eyes still closed he took in his surroundings, the constant rhythm of the rain, the bite in the air that caused goosebumps to rise on his arms, and the creaks of the walls and floor.
He didn't need to look up to know she was there, watching him. Even if he hadn't heard her breathing, he could have sensed she was behind him, he could sense the longing in her heart.
'Misao-Chan,' he tried to say with his mind, 'Please, please leave. I don't want you to be hurt.' He still heard her breathing, as they both stood still, quietly grasping the moment.
'Why do you continue to follow me, Misao-Chan?' He prayed that she would stop and leave. He mournfully wished that she would stop her infatuation. He knew she loved him, and he knew she deserved a better man.
He heard her step forward.
'Don't hurt yourself, Misao-Chan.'
And step forward.
'Please don't come any closer.'
And step forward again.
'I can't love you that way.'
Without looking he felt her sit down beside him, crosslegged, mimicking his position. She observed everything he did and copied, synchronizing her breathing with his.
'Aoshi-Sama, please notice my feelings.' She pleaded in her thoughts.
'Misao-Chan, please give it up.'
She looked at him for a long time, before he finally opened his eyes. He still didn't look at her, only kept his head straight forward.
"Aoshi-Sama," She said quietly.
No response.
"I know it's rude of me to come in here..."
She waited for some sign from him, but recieved none.
"There's only one way to say this Aoshi-Sama. I might as well say it now!"
He turned cold, in spite of the already chilly room. He pleaded that she wouldn't.
"I love you, Aoshi-Sama," her cheeks turned pink, as she stared forward, same as he was doing, "You're the only man I ever loved."
'You're the sister I never had. Don't do this, Misao-Chan.'
He was frozen in his spot with words he could not say.
"Dammit, Aoshi-Sama say something!" She begged, her eyes starting to show tears.
Only his mournful eyes could show anything of his thoughts.
"Just say you love me!" She had reached over and grabbed his shoulders.
"I can't!" was all he said harshly, pushing her away, and she fell backwards on the floor. She wasn't as strong as he expected her to be. She was just so... small.
"I can't," he said, remorsefully, "You're just a child."
She clenched her fists together, gazing at him, feeling as though this had happened before.
"That's all I've ever been to you!" She yelled furiously, "I'm just a child! You don't care for me at all!"
'I care for you, Misao-Chan. You're all I have for family.'
"Misao-Chan-"
"Don't call me that, anymore!" She screamed, and left the room.
It was quiet again, and the gentle thunder rolled, moving on time, as if nothing had happened. But the apocalypse had already taken place. He felt it. He felt her pain.
'I wish it could be different.' He thought... 'but, wishing does nothing.'
Misao stormed through the next room, not caring who saw her. She ran past the whole group, and into Kaoru's room where she had been staying.
"Stupid Aoshi! Stupid love! Stupid Misao-chan!" she cursed to herself, stomping around and throwing things. "It's all so stupid!"
She kicked a dresser and slumped down against the door.
The whole group paused, watching Misao go past in a blur. They all could sense what had happened.
With thoughtful eyes, Kenshin watched her run down the hallway, her angry feet echoing as she disappeared.
'So she finally told him,' He bowed his head, 'Aoshi... what did you do?'
He stepped into the next room, where he knew Aoshi and Misao had been. Everybody watched, but said nothing. Kaoru set down her rice ball and followed Misao.
Aoshi still sat in his meditative position, as though nothing had happened. It was dark now, and the moon barely shone through the unrelenting rain.
Kenshin watched Aoshi and tried to think of what to say. He kneeled beside the tall ninja, gazing forward at nothingness.
There was a contemplative silence before Aoshi was finally the one to speak.
"I- never wanted to hurt Misao-Chan." He said with sorrow in his tone.
"You still call her chan, Aoshi. She's not a little girl anymore."
Aoshi shrunk his broad shoulders down into a slouch, which he hadn't done before. He hung his head in shame.
"You tell me that time and time again, Himura." He muttered, "I just can't believe it. I can't think of her any other way. She's not a woman, she's not a lover, she's just my Misao-Chan."
"I know you have very fond feelings for her. But she dosen't see that. You see her as a little sister, rather than the strong woman who loves you and followed you around half of the country. She fought and risked her life just to prove herself to you. You betrayed the Oniwabanshuu, and shattered her trust in you, and yet your returned and she forgave you, just as soon."
"I know."
"So why won't you at least give her a chance."
"I can't love her. Not in that way."
Kenshin looked with sympathetic force at Aoshi.
"Won't you even give her a chance?"
"Hn."
"Why can't you at least consider her?"
"Because-"
"Is there another?"
The question hit a nerve. Aoshi winced as though he had been hit by a large weight. That was enough of a response.
Trying to sort things out, Kenshin looked back at Aoshi's behavior. There was nothing he had ever said or done to prove that he wanted anyone else. He strained harder, trying to think.
"Is it Megumi?" Kenshin asked slowly. Aoshi's icy eyes fixed on the ceiling and strayed back to Kenshin's face.
Misao heaved a great sigh, slouching her shoulders against the wall.
'I never should have said anything,' She thought regretfully to herself. She fumbled around for something to throw and her grip blindly landed on a soft paper object.
"That paper balloon," She said, looking at it reverently. She drifted back to the day she bought it in the market, nostalgic for the times when Aoshi would give her such things to play with.
"I can't give up on Aoshi-Sama," She spoke into the empty space, lifting herself up, "I'm going back to talk to him."
"Why do you think that it's Megumi?" Aoshi asked, tentatively.
"I've seen the way you look at her. I know she is a painful reminder of your past, but I never thought you felt that way about her."
"I don't. But I feel an affinity with Megumi."
"Why is that?"
Aoshi drifted back in time through his thoughts and memories. Megumi, the woman who made the opium for Kanryuu. He never supposed he would be coexisting with her, let alone coming to care about her feelings. She was a wounded soul as well, but she rarely showed it. He had always wondered what let her even stand to be next to him. It was he; Shinomori Aoshi, who had told her to kill herself that night. How could she stand to look at him now?
She was looking, though. Not just at him, but at Himura. She loved himura. It seemed the redheaded rurouni was quite the opposite to her than the dark ninja. The man who encouraged her death, and the man who talked her out of it. And one of them, she loved.
He remembered the time he had been driven to insanity by grief. The madness of desire for power. He pursued Battoussai like he was hunting an animal; it became the primal drive for his existence. To kill Kenshin was the reason he gave up everything; betrayed everyone.
But each time Himura avoided his kodachis, he had a deepened respect for the man. Though he could not put it into words, there was an ironic sense of chivalry he felt towards him, as he tried to take his life. When he finally regained his direction, and abandoned his dream of slaughtering Battoussai, he retreated to his meditations. In the long hours of thought and reflection, he came to realize, that the force drawing him towards Kenshin was far more than a swordsman's respect. He felt love.
Seeing Megumi-San pine after Himura without him knowing her true pain, only proceeded to remind Aoshi of his own feelings, and further his understanding of Megumi.
Now Himura himself was asking who it was he loved, and how could he answer?
"Why do you feel an affinity with Megumi-Dono?"
Aoshi studied Kenshin's face. The strong resolve, the sense of ultimate truth, the spirit he had fallen in love with.
"We both love the same person, who knows nothing of our feelings,"
Before this comment could settle in on Kenshin, Aoshi had turned to face him. He placed his hands gently on Kenshin's shoulders and leaned forward to kiss him.
He did so, taking in everything about that moment, because it would not last, and he knew that well. His first and possibly only kiss with the one he loved. Aoshi savored the feeling, although it was fleeting, while he was unsure of Kenshin, who seemed too shocked to do anything else.
For that moment, there was a frozen space in time, where for just a second, the rain drops stopped falling, and the pendulum on an old grandfather clock stopped swinging.
That moment was frozen, for the second Misao stepped in the doorway, and saw everything...
*
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* End- Chapter 2
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* A/N I'm sorry, that was kind of sad. It's my first ever Shonen Ai, so it may sound a little akward. Heh.
~~~Words~~~
Go- A board game in Japan. I'm not sure of the rules.
Toori-Atama: Rooster Head. (Sano's nickname)
Kitsune: Fox People often call Megumi "Kitsune Sensei", meaning "Fox Doctor"
Ohagi are sweet rice balls, and Bokken and Shinai are training swords.
That's about all. If you have other questions of definitions I've left out, please feel free to ask.
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Now please review! Pretty Pretty please! ~*~