Title: An Ending And A Beginning
Author: Phatz
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Don't own them. So get the hell off my back.
Summary: Logan and Marie's friendship takes a nosedive, but will it lead to something better? Or is it too late?
Authors Notes: Another short chapter. Real life is being a real bastard right now; I had to write three papers for school and study for two finals. Sorry for the delay.
~Thoughts~
Telepathic Speech
Chapter 9"He stabbed you?" Scott glanced over his shoulder at Marie. He was piloting the Blackbird, and listening to Marie's story of what happened at the lab. After the X-men had retrieved Logan, Marie refused to him, going on the Blackbird with Scott and Jean, leaving Jubilee alone to pilot their jet by herself.
"Yes." Marie ran her hand through Logan's damp hair, fighting back tears. She was tired of crying.
"Why the hell did he stab you?"
"He didn't know who I was Scott. He thought I was going to hurt him."
"How do you know that?" Jean asked. Even though Marie pulled thoughts and emotions from people when she used her mutation, she was unsure if Marie actually retrieved and understood any. She herself tried to read Logan's mind, but was unable to achieve anything but a pounding headache that made her head feel like it was going to explode.
"Because that was what he was thinking when I absorbed him." She looked at Logan's face. He looked so calm when he slept, or in this case, was unconscious. He looked at peace. "They hurt him so much Jean. So much."
"What did they do to him?" Scott asked. He did not really like Logan, but he respected the man. He was a great asset to the team, and he fought without regard to himself in order to protect anyone on it, even people he didn't really like. And although Scott would never admit it to anyone, he always felt a little sorry for Logan. He knew nothing of his past, and already went through more physical and emotional pain than anyone should. He shuddered at the thought of him going through that again.
"I can't really talk about that now. His memories are muddled up and from what I can make out… It's just to hard for me now ok?"
"Ok." Scott looked back at Marie and Logan a final time. "You should really get some rest Rogue."
"I'm fine Scott." Marie took Logan's hand in her own, and held it the rest of the way home, silently praying Logan would be all right.
________________________________________________________________________
When the team got back to the mansion, Jean and Hank took Logan directly to the med lab for observation. Jean kept Marie, despite her very vocal protests, out of the med lab. She never left the area, and instead sat on the floor right outside the door.
Hank stepped out of the med lab, and Marie shot to her feet. "Is he alright?"
"Yes. He is healing slowly, but he is otherwise fine physically. He is still in a coma, and I fear that I have no way of knowing when he will come out of it."
"Why not?"
"When you touched him, he was already injured yes?"
Marie nodded. "Yeah."
"Since his body was not completely healed when you absorbed his power, it is taking his body much longer to heal both physically and mentally." Hank looked at Marie's worried face, and quickly reassured her. "However, I am certain he will come out of the coma and make a full recovery. It is just a matter of time."
Marie sighed in relief. He would be ok. Eventually. Then a thought crossed her mind. "Uh, Hank?"
"Yes?"
"You said he would be ok physically right?" Hank nodded. "What about mentally? When I absorbed him, his thoughts were…" She shut her eyes at the horrible images that flooded her mind. So much pain, anger and sorrow. She saw flashes of Logan begging for the doctors and soldiers to kill him. They laughed. And then she saw the images involving her, even though it wasn't really her, and shut those away completely.
"His thoughts were what Rogue?"
Snapping out of re-living the images in her mind, Marie answered quickly. "They just stop."
"Stop?"
"Yeah. I mean he remembers almost all of his captivity, but that's it. Nothing about the X-Men, the mansion… me. That's all he has."
"Oh my." Hank scratched his blue furred chin, and looked at Marie worriedly. "I never even considered them doing that, but it makes complete sense if they did it during his first containment."
"What Hank?"
"If what you say is true, I believe they have taken his memories, as before. You only have his memories of the facility because that is all he knows. Rogue, can you tell me the first image or memory you have of his?"
"No."
"No?"
Marie fidgeted. "Look Hank I'm sorry it's just… hard to talk about. I'd rather not right now."
"Ah, yes of course. But you have to tell me eventually dear, it may help us understand what truly happened to him."
"I will."
Hank clapped his hands together, in a vain attempt to lighten the mood. "Well, I understand that you wish to see Logan yes?"
Marie nodded. "Can I?"
"Of course, you may go right in. I have already placed a chair next to his bed for you."
"Thanks Hank." Marie gave him a tight hug. Releasing him, she took a deep breath, and headed toward the med lab door.
Rogue.
Yes Professor?
May I see you in my office please? I need to discuss Logan with you.
Ok, I'll be right there.
Marie turned and looked at Hank. "Hank, the Professor needs to talk to me, so I have to see Logan later. Is that ok?"
Hank nodded. "Of course. You can see him whenever you want. He won't be going anywhere until he wakes up."
"Ok." Marie began to walk to the elevator, when a thought crossed her mind. "Hey Hank?"
"Yes?"
"Does Logan have to stay in the med lab? Or could you have him rest somewhere else?"
"Well, I suppose He could be anywhere, as long as the IV and other equipment are with him. Why?"
"I just thought, given that he always hated the med lab, probably even more now, that having him wake up in it might not be such a good idea."
"I never thought of that. What do you have in mind?"
"Maybe move him into my room? He can sleep in my bed, and I can just sleep on the floor or chair."
"If that is what you want Rogue, I can surely arrange it. I will move him into your room while you speak with the Professor."
"Thanks."
"One thing though Rogue. If he shows signs of waking up, you must contact me or Jean immediately."
"Ok. Thanks again Hank." Marie smiled at him a final time, and entered the elevator, preparing for the difficult discussion she knew was coming.
________________________________________________________________________
"Rogue, I understand this may be difficult, but in order for us to understand the state of Logan's mind, you must tell me everything you absorbed from him."
Marie fidgeted in her chair. She knew she had to tell someone, but it was very difficult. She was having trouble finding the words. "What exactly do you want to know professor?"
"Anything that you may feel is relevant."
Marie sighed. "Well… they tortured him. A lot. Sometimes when he didn't do what they told him too, and sometimes… just to see if he would survive."
"Like?"
Images of Logan being drowned, sliced opened, and burned flashed through her mind. "It was bad ok? I don't think what they did to him specifically matters."
Xavier noticed the pain etched in Marie's features, and decided not to press the issue. "Yes of course."
"They broke him." Marie suddenly whispered, not really meaning for Xavier to hear it. But he did.
"How?"
"They tried to erase his memories, like they did before. But it wasn't working. He was holding on to them." She let out a weak smile. Logan sure was stubborn.
"Rogue, I do not understand. You told us earlier that Logan did not recognize either you or Jubilee, and that he did not even know who he was."
"Yeah I know. They found a way to break him, to make just not care anymore. Then they went in and erased his memory."
Xavier raised his brow. What could they have possibly done to make Logan just give up?
Marie, sensing his question, answered. "They had one of the other mutants, a shape shifter like Mystique, take my form. I guess they must have known who I was from Logan's memories…" She trailed off, having a great deal of difficulty finishing her story.
"Rogue? Are you ok? We can continue this another-"
"No I'm fine. I just want to get this over with."
"Of course."
Marie nervously tucked a strand of her white hair behind her ear, and continued. "Logan thought the mutant was really me. And Stryker…he had his men rape and beat her. Logan tried so hard to break free to help, but he couldn't. And after that, they just shot her in the head. Logan thought he saw me getting raped and killed, and he blamed himself for being unable to do anything."
Xavier sat in silence. He didn't know how to respond.
"The worst thing," Marie continued, "was that before she died, she told Logan that it was his fault, and she hated him." Marie began to cry uncontrollably. "Logan thought the last words I ever said to him were 'I hate you'." And Marie knew why he would think that. She treated him so horrible the few weeks before he was captured; she really gave him no other indication otherwise.
"I know how difficult that was for you Rogue, but we now have a better understanding of what happened to Logan. If he indeed did not recognize you in his cell, that means he is not consciously aware of what happened to the mutant posing as you. But it is in his mind, or else you would not have seen it. This may mean that his other memories are deeply buried as well, and may, in fact, be recovered."
Marie straightened up in her chair. Logan may get back his memories? That was the best thing she has heard in a long time. "Really professor?"
"I cannot guarantee anything, but it seems possible. I will help Logan recover his lost memories as soon as he wakes up."
Marie smiled. "Thank you professor. For everything. I feel better getting that all this off my chest."
"If you ever need to talk with someone, my door is always open. Now I believe you have someone to see?"
Marie nodded, and walked over to Xavier and gave him a tight hug. He was the father she always wanted. Marie left Xavier's office, and headed to her room to see Logan.
(To be continued…)