Chapter 7
Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order SVU or any of the characters, I just like to play with them.
A/N: Thanks a bunch to my beta kukrae, without whom this would not be possible! Thanks to all that have reviewed! Please R&R
Elliot awoke to the ringing of the telephone and wondered why no one was answering. Then he remembered that Kathy was doing carpool for the kids today. He reached over to grab the phone and groaned in pain. The doctor was right, he felt like he had been hit by a truck. He chuckled to himself, a truck, a Fed Ex truck to be exact, had hit him.
"Hello?" He lay back on the bed and willed his head to stop pounding.
"Is Kathy Stabler in, please?"
"No, I am sorry she's not in right now. This is her husband, could I help you? Or can I take a message?" He stifled back a yawn as he prayed that it wasn't a telemarketer because he just didn't think that he had the strength to deal with it.
"Actually, could I ask you to hold for a moment? I am the only one on the phones this morning," she apologized.
"Of course." Elliot took advantage of the hold to sit back and contemplate his evening last night. He'd been so tired when he got home last night after dealing with the kids and getting settled he ended up falling asleep. The clock showed that it was almost 9:30 am, so Kathy would be home soon and then they would talk. All the suspicions he had about what he had seen were tearing him up inside and he knew that he just needed to know the truth.
"Mr. Stabler?" her small voice interrupted his thoughts. "Like I was saying before we were interrupted, my name is Susan and I am calling from Dr. Jacobs' office."
Elliot couldn't imagine why Kathy's OBGYN was calling and then he remembered that she had gone to the doctor's office yesterday. God, yesterday morning seemed like forever ago. "Okay." He prompted.
"I am just calling back with your wife's test results, and I am happy to inform you that you and your wife will be welcoming a new little bundle of joy into your home." He never would have realized that such a cheerful and excited voice could be the harbinger of doom. "Dr. Jacobs wants to schedule another appointment within the month, so if you could have Kathy call back and schedule it, that would be great."
"Wow, thanks for the information," he couldn't believe that he actually was able to string words together. "Does the chart say how far along she is?" Elliot was holding out hope that she was at least three months along so there would be no question in his mind.
"It doesn't say but by the information your wife provided the doctor about her last menstrual cycle, she would be approximately six weeks or so. Dr. Jacobs would be able to give a more likely time frame after the next appointment."
"Well, I will definitely pass the message along and thank you for all the information," said Elliot as he sat up in the bed. "Have a good day."
"You too Mr. Stabler. Again, congratulations." The call ended and Elliot just sat and listened to the dial tone. He hung up the phone and stared at the wall. He did the calculations and thought back to the last time that they had been intimate and it was so long ago. How could this have happened? There is no way that the baby could be his. Why didn't he get suspicious of the fact that they hadn't had sex? There were so many times that he tried to initiate it and she rebuffed him. Some nights she was too angry with him, other nights she didn't feel good or she was too tired. How could I not pick up on it? What kind of detective can I be when I missed all these signs? What was he going to do?
He heard the front door open and Kathy come in. "Let the games begin," he thought. She came up the stairs and headed into the room.
"Hi, honey. I didn't think you would be up yet. You should be resting." Kathy walked over to him and placed a small kiss on his cheek. She took his silence to mean that he was still not quite awake. "How are you feeling this morning? I hope that I didn't wake you when I came in." She moved around the room picking up the clothes on the floor and straightening up. When she still received no response, Kathy turned and looked at him and what she saw scared her. "Elliot?!" She rushed over to him.
He just sat there remembering their life together, the first time he saw her walking across the campus towards him, their first date, the day they found out that Maureen was on her way, their wedding, the birth of their children and tears began to well up.
"Are you in that much pain?" Kathy looked on the nightstand for his pain medication and started to take out a pill when Elliot reached out and stopped her. She looked up into his eyes and couldn't believe the pain that she saw there.
"Do you really want me to answer that Kathy?" The tone in his voice scared her to the core. It was so empty sounding and he was still crying.
"Elliot, what is going on? You are scaring me." She was now kneeling down in front of him and looking up into his tortured eyes.
"I just got an interesting phone call from Dr. Jacobs." All the color faded from Kathy's face. She started just shaking her head, almost in denial. Elliot nodded, "Yes, you my dear are pregnant." Tears were now welling up in her eyes. "According to their information you are approximately six weeks along." Elliot dropped her hand and abruptly stood up.
"Uh," she tried to catch her breath. "Elliot?" Kathy couldn't move. She couldn't think. All she knew was that life, as she knew it was over.
Elliot was now pacing, ignoring the pain that it was sending through his body. "Most husbands would be overjoyed to find out that their wife is pregnant." He let out a harsh laugh. "But those husbands wouldn't have watched their wives all but fuck a man out in a parking lot for all the world to see!" He was now yelling but he couldn't stop, it was all coming out. "I should have known yesterday when I came home and you were so nervous and he was leaving. But stupid me, I didn't have a clue! Until I pulled up to the diner and guess what? You were there! With him!" Elliot was barely holding it together. "I decided to talk to you about it but I fell asleep last night. I was thinking that we might be able to work through it but there is no way that will happen now!"
Kathy was sobbing. "Elliot, please…." She had to start over, "Please, give me a chance to explain!"
"Explain?! What do you think you can explain? You CHEATED on me! You can't deny it, so don't even bother trying." He was so disgusted with her that he couldn't even look at her. "We haven't had sex in over three months, Kathy, and they said that you aren't any more than six weeks! You are going to have another man's child." With that, the wedding photo he'd picked up to look at went sailing and hit the wall with a loud crash. Kathy looked up sharply.
"What did you do that for?" she cried.
"Was it all a lie? Was our whole marriage a lie?" asked Elliot as he collapsed back onto the bed and finally looked over at her. "Why Kathy?"
"Did we really have a marriage, Elliot? You are always gone and I am here by myself raising our children." She tried to control her sobbing. "You never talk to me anymore unless its about the kids or bills. I began to feel like your maid, not your wife!" All the years of frustration came poring out. "Doesn't it tell you something that we could go months without sex? You'd come home from work all upset about what you had seen or had to deal with and you'd go off and sit and not talk to me about anything. You would call Olivia or Munch and talk to them but Lord forbid you talk to your wife!" Her anger was replacing the tears. "Do you think I didn't notice the nights that you would go out with them after work or go to Olivia's but you would tell me you were at work? Do you really think that I am that stupid?!" At the look on his face her anger evaporated and she sat on the bed next to him. "I am so sorry, Elliot. I never set out to hurt you, I just started talking to Doug one day and it was nice to have someone really be interested in what I had to say. Soon we were meeting for coffee and talking about his divorce and then…" her voice trailed off.
"Do you love him?" It killed Elliot to ask but he really did need the answer.
Kathy couldn't meet his eyes; she looked down at her wedding ring. "I'm not sure how to answer that."
"BULLSHIT!" Elliot literally jumped up from the bed and began to pace as he continued vehemently. "Do you love him? It is a simple question, yes or no." Kathy watched him pace, wishing she could give him the answer that he wanted, but knowing that she couldn't.
"Yes." She said it so quietly that he almost missed it. Instantly the anger fled and he just felt defeated. The tears that had, until this time, remained in check now broke free as he just stood and stared at her. He never imagined that his marriage would end like this. The vows he took, he meant, 'til death do us part' were the way it was to have been for them. "Elliot, I am so sorry," Kathy seemed to be pleading with him to understand.
"You're sorry, I'm sorry. This whole mess is sorry." Elliot sunk into the chair facing the bed and rested his head in his hands. They both sat in silence, lost into their own thoughts.
Finally, Elliot broke the silence, "What do we do now, Kathy?" Looking at her like she would have the answer but all she could do was continue to cry. He decided that for now he just had to get out of there. Ignoring his protesting muscles, he rose from the chair quickly, which startled Kathy and went into the closet. He came out with a suitcase and a garment bag. He grabbed some suits and put them into the garment bag and then went over to his dresser and started to just throw clothes into the suitcase.
She couldn't comprehend what he was doing. "Elliot, what are you doing? Why are you packing?"
He just looked up at her, "You have got to be kidding, right? You expect me to stay here with you?" The feelings of betrayal and anger were starting to overwhelm Elliot again as stared at her. "I have to get out of here. I can't even bear to look at you for the moment and I don't want the kids to see me like this." He stopped his packing and leveled a hard look at her, "Did you even once consider our children and what this would do to them? Or were you just so wrapped up in your needs," he spat out that word, "that you forgot about our children? Our family." As he closed the suitcase, he grabbed his jeans from the chair and slid them on. "I will be on my cell, so if one of kids need me they can get hold of me."
Kathy stood and blocked the doorway to keep him from leaving. "Elliot, lets talk all this out and get everything settled before you leave," she pleaded. "Please don't leave like this!"
"Right now, Kathy, if we talk," he paused trying to find the right words, "If we talk, I am likely to tell you to kiss my ass. Now please get out of my way and I will contact you later when I have had time to process the fact that my marriage is over, that my wife is not only in love with someone else but that she is also carrying his child. It's a bit much to deal with right now."
"What do I tell the kids?" Kathy was terrified of telling them the truth and seeing the hatred and pain they would feel being directed towards her.
"I really don't think that you should tell them what is happening right now. We will sit and talk to them about all this once we have the divorce plans finalized," he finished wearily. "For now, just tell them that I had to work or something."
At the mention of divorce, Kathy jerked her head up and she looked in his eyes. At that moment she realized the pain she had caused, his eyes were as tortured, as they were the night after the little girl, Lucy, had been taken off life support. "Elliot, I am so sorry! I never wanted to hurt you!" She could see her pleas were falling on deaf ears.
"Kathy, I have to leave." She moved and let him pass knowing that she had just lost him forever.
"Goodbye, Elliot." He didn't even acknowledge her as he trudged down the steps and out of the home that they had shared.
He walked out onto the porch and went to get into his car and realized that it wasn't there due to the accident. It had been towed in to have estimates completed for the insurance company. "What else can go wrong?" he thought. Instead of taking Kathy's car he decided that he would call the one person that he knew he could always count on, Olivia.
She picked up on the first ring, almost as if she'd been waiting for his call. The automatic, "I'm on my way," was music to his ears. A moment after he hung up with her his cell phone rang and he actually cracked a smile as he recognized the incoming number. It was Olivia, of course.
"Hey partner. I figured that I could keep you company while I fight through traffic to get to you," she said in his ear. He could hear the smile in her voice from those many miles away.
"I appreciate that."
"Plus, I figure your neighbors wouldn't think you're too crazy to be sitting out on your porch at nine something in the morning with your suitcase sitting beside you, if you happened to be on the phone." Olivia was trying to get his mind off of all the troubles with Kathy by teasing him, and it was taking some of the edge off of his pain. "You wouldn't want the neighbors to be talking about you, now would you?"
They continued to talk until she pulled up in front of the house and he climbed into the car. "Where to now?"
"Anywhere as long as it's away from here." He laid his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes. Olivia could see the strain of the last two days wearing on him so she offered to take him to her apartment to catch some shuteye and that's when she realized that he was already asleep.
'Aw, shit," she thought as she looked over at him in concern as she maneuvered the car back onto the street. 'If he's out of it like this right now, I wonder just how bad the confrontation was this morning. Well, turn about is fair play and I owe him some TLC for the other night. But, in all fairness, I'll leave out the kiss this time.'
For some reason, that last thought depressed her.