Chapter 8
Disclaimer: I don't own Law & Order SVU but I would like too.
A/N: Thanks again to Kukrae! Please read and review!
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Olivia glanced up as she heard a cell phone ring, it wasn't hers and she didn't remember seeing Elliot's. She searched until she found it in his coat and flipped the phone open quickly hoping that whomever it was hadn't hung up yet.
"Hello?"
"Olivia?" came the confused voice at the other end of the line.
"Hi, Kathy," she cautiously answered as she looked down the hallway to make sure that Elliot was still sleeping.
"I can tell by the sound of your voice that you already know the whole story. I knew that Elliot would end up running to you if he ever found out." Kathy sounded so depressed that for a moment Olivia's heart went out to her. Then she remembered how upset Elliot was and what had made him upset and those feelings disappeared. "Look, can I talk to Elliot?"
"I'm sorry, but he is sleeping right now and after all he has been through, I just don't have the heart to wake him up." She'd be damned if she would disturb him right now. "Unless of course there is some emergency with the kids, but I don't think that is the case as you would have said so immediately."
Kathy had expected Olivia to go into full attack mode once she knew everything, so she really wasn't surprised by the brush off she was being given. "It's not an emergency but I really do need to talk to him and I thought that he would have had time to calm down from this morning and maybe we could talk now."
"Well, lets see, it's only been about six hours since you completely destroyed his world, and I don't think that he is really ready to talk to you yet," Olivia countered. "If you had found out that Elliot was cheating on you, do you think you would be okay enough to talk about it yet?"
She sighed and wondered why she felt the need to defend herself to Olivia, but she knew that she needed to try. "I learned a long time ago that I wasn't number one in his life, Olivia. I've had to compete with the job and with you for years now, that is part of the reason this happened." Kathy took a deep breath and continued, "I am not trying to say what I did was right but it's done, and I can't change it. I NEVER set out to hurt Elliot and it tears me up inside that I did." Olivia could hear her start to cry. "Once he gets past the initial anger, he will see that this is for the best. We haven't really had a marriage for years. On the rare occasions when we did see each other, all we talked about were the kids, the house or bills. He never talked to me about his work or how it affected him. For all intents and purposes, he shut me out of his life. I don't know why I am telling you all of this. Maybe its because I know that you love him too and that you will take care of him through this."
That statement shocked Olivia to the core. She never expected to hear Kathy say something like that. It was on the tip of her tongue to deny it, but then she realized that she couldn't seem to form the words. What did that mean? She looked down the hallway again and felt a warmth wash through her as she thought of him currently sleeping in her bed. At that moment she realized that Kathy was still talking.
"For so long I have been jealous of you. He shared his life with you and you two seemed more in touch with each other than he and I ever were. I know that you know that we got married because I was pregnant with Maureen and I never wondered if we had done the right thing until I saw the two of you together." Olivia sunk down onto the couch, not believing that Kathy was confessing all this to her. "The two of you complete each other and I realized after seeing that connection that I wanted the same thing. I tried for years to bring that, I…I don't know, a spark, a…a passion back into our marriage and it didn't happen." Now that she was on a roll she was letting all of her feelings out. "That's when I met Doug. It was a chance meeting, he was dropping off the final divorce papers to his wife, now, ex-wife. Something just clicked and we out for coffee and then it turned into lunches, then the occasional dinner and well, you know the rest." She paused to take a breath and Olivia took that as an invitation to interrupt.
"But you were married," that simple statement said it all for Olivia. "You took vows before God to forsake all others and you threw it all away." She was so caught up in the call, that she didn't hear Elliot shuffling down the hall from her room. "Elliot is one of the finest men that I have ever had the privilege of knowing and if I were lucky enough to be his wife and be loved by him then I would never have let it slip away. But YOU threw that away!" Olivia didn't realize that as she said this her voice had continued to rise in volume. "You threw away your husband, your marriage and your family. I hope to God that he was worth all this!"
At her words, Elliot halted in the hallway and stood there in disbelief. The words ' if I were lucky enough to be his wife and be loved by him then I would never have let it slip away' kept running through his mind and he basked in warm feeling that it gave him.
Kathy was so quiet for a moment that Olivia thought that she had hung up the phone. "Think about what you just said, Olivia," she spoke so quietly that Olivia had to strain to hear her voice. "You just said it all. You love him the way that I couldn't and I know that he may hate me for what I have done but in the long run it is for the better. I love Doug the way that you just described, and I hate that I couldn't love Elliot that way. I've known for years that I was all that was stopping you guys from getting together. I made it all safe. Well, now I won't be there anymore so please take care of him for me." Kathy started to cry softly, "Just tell Elliot I called and would like to discuss what to do next."
Olivia was still trying to digest the bomb that Kathy had just dropped on her and before she could form a reply, Kathy was gone. She slowly lowered the phone and just stared at the black television screen. She couldn't be right? Could she? Elliot and I are just best friends and partners, right? Then the memory of the kiss flashed through her mind and she shut her eyes and tried to recapture the feelings that she felt at that moment.
Elliot knew that she had been talking to Kathy and he was worried about her since she was just sitting there not moving or talking. He came up behind her and placed his hand on her shoulder. She nearly jumped out of her skin as she turned to look up at him. As her eyes met his, she realized that everything Kathy had said was true, at least for her anyway. She was in love with Elliot Stabler.
"Are you okay?" She had an odd look in her eye and it made Elliot feel a bit uneasy. "I would ask who was on the phone but I already know based on your comments." He came around the couch and settled in next to her. "Should I say thank you for your defense of me? Or should I be worried about what she was saying to you?"
"Huh, what?" She was lost in her thoughts and didn't hear him. "I'm sorry Elliot, what did you say?"
He cut her a worried look, "Are you okay? What did she say to you?"
Olivia decided that now was NOT the time to let him in on her great epiphany, that she loves him. "She was trying to plead her case with me, but as you heard, it wasn't working." She gave him a strained smile, "You know that my loyalties always lie with my partner." A beeping noise filled the small apartment, "Oh no! My lasagna!" She hopped up and ran to the oven.
Elliot followed her into the kitchen and tried to stay out of her way as she ran for the potholders and wrestled the pan out of the oven. "Ow, damn it! That hurt!" She stuck her finger in her mouth and started sucking on it. When he let out a laugh, she threw one of the potholders at him. "You are so mean! I try to do something nice for you by cooking one of your favorite dinners and you laugh at me when I get burnt," she shot him a dirty look. "And you call me your friend."
"I'm sorry." She didn't buy it at all and shot him another look. "You want to get hurt some more don't you? I do have more potholders…" she trailed off, the threat implied.
Elliot found himself drawn to her mouth as she started sucking on her finger again. He felt a stirring in his mid-region and had to turn away for a moment to compose himself. 'Where did that come from?' He wondered to himself and dismissed it thinking that it was just a reaction from all the stress he had been under.
When he turned back around he saw Olivia starting to serve up the lasagna and offered to help. "Just because I burned my finger, doesn't mean that I can't serve my guest." She sent him a frazzled smile and added, "Don't forget, I always put a little bit of myself in everything that I cook."
Elliot saw what she was doing and decided to play along. "Hold up your hands." She gave him a funny look and asked why. "Just do it. Hold up your hands."
She held them up and gave him a quizzical look. "Why am I doing this?"
He slowly counted all her fingers and then gave her a dazzling smile. "You can put them down now." He grabbed a plate and headed over to the kitchen table.
"Hey! You can't leave me hanging like that!" She grabbed her plate and followed him over to the table.
"I just wanted to make sure that you still have all your fingers. I would hate to bite into a mouthwatering forkful of lasagna and end up with a finger." At her outburst of laughter he gave her an innocent look. "You're the one who said that you put a little bit of yourself into everything…"
"You jerk," she interrupted. As they sat there laughing, Olivia realized that Elliot would be okay because he was acting like himself. She was afraid that when he woke up that he would still be the destroyed man she picked up hours ago. She sent up a silent prayer of thanks.
"So how did shopping go yesterday?" Elliot couldn't believe that it was only yesterday that she had planned the shopping trip.
Her eyes lit up as she started to fill him in on the excursion that she shared with Julie. "We spent the whole trip at FAO Schwartz and had a blast! We were leaving the store when you called me." A shadow passed over her eyes, but she shook it off and continued with her story. "I had a lot of fun picking out gifts for your kids." Elliot looked up in surprise that she had thought of his kids.
"I can't believe that you found presents for all my kids at a toy store," he paused to taste the lasagna. "Hey, this is pretty good. I didn't know you could cook like this."
She gave him a small smile as she poured out their drinks. "You never asked if I could cook and usually when we share meals we are out somewhere or I would stop by your house." She joined him at the table and cut a look up at him. "There are a lot of things that you don't know about me, Stabler."
Elliot drew his head up and thought to himself, 'Could she be flirting with me?' As soon as the thought ran through his mind he dismissed it. He believed that he just misunderstood her tone. "So what else don't I know about you, Olivia?"
She took a moment to respond, "Well, you don't know that I am a really good cook and I actually like to bake. I never brought in the stuff I made to the office because I didn't want you guys to think of me as the little woman."
"Trust me, Olivia, no one thinks of you as the little woman!" She felt a little hurt by the laughter that she heard in his voice, but that disappeared at his next statement. "We all know that you could take any of us down at any time." He leaned forward, "Especially Fin, I think that he is really afraid that you will go off on him one day and he'll have to admit that he was taken down by a girl."
She had to laugh. "And where did you get this nugget of wisdom?"
"Straight from the horse's mouth, well from the horse's partner anyway," he shrugged and sat back to watch her reaction.
"From his partner? Right," she smiled. "I think that Munch was pulling your leg."
He feigned a hurt look, "You think that he wasn't telling me the truth?" He brought his hand to his chest trying to pretend he was upset but failed miserably when he burst out laughing. She just shook her head at him and kept eating.
She decided to tell him about the gifts and the stories behind them. "I couldn't figure out what to get for Dickie, so I had to get a salesperson to help me. Julie just loved his name, Stewey. Well, anyways, Stewey thought that a boy Dickie's age would just love a paintball gun." She grinned from ear to ear.
"You got my son a what?" Elliot wasn't sure that he had heard her right. "You got my 13 year old son a paintball gun? Are you out of your mind?!"
"It's the best one on the market and it came with all the protective gear and I even got him a one year membership to a paint ball club." Elliot interrupted.
"Please tell you that you are kidding." Elliot looked at her hopefully.
She laughed at the look on his face. "The look on your face is making me think that you don't like the gift that I got him. You know he is going to absolutely love it!" She paused at the incredulous look on his face, "Oh, and did I tell you yet that I got you the same thing?"
"I don't know what you were thinking," he said with certainty. "I would never have bought something like that for him."
"I know that, that is why I bought it." She grinned over at him, "I don't have to worry about the repercussions of the gift, you do."
"You know, I will get you back for this." He threatened as they continued their meal.
"I am counting on it, Stabler." She sat back in her chair and smiled, she could get used to this. Usually when she would reach this level of comfort with someone she was dating, she would run the other way as fast as she possibly could. Instead, she actually was finding herself wishing it would never end. But she knew that it was impossible, he was coming out of a 20-year marriage and his life was in shambles. Everything that Kathy had said about her having feelings for Elliot kept running through her head.
After dinner they decided to chill out in front of the T.V. and just relax. There was an unspoken agreement between them not to mention Kathy, so the evening passed comfortably. As they were dozing off on the couch during the late movie, Olivia was aware of Elliot shifting so that she was lying against his shoulder with his arm wrapped around her. She knew that she should get up and go to her room but she couldn't resist lying there for a moment, and before she knew it she was asleep, with Elliot's arms around her.
Her last thought before sleep overtook her was that maybe she did have a chance at happiness.
With Elliot.