V/O: You think that people care about you but in reality they don't give a
crap. The whole world comes crashing down around you and you can do
nothing to stop it. The house catches fire and no one is there to grab you
hand. You're drowning in pain and no one is willing to help you...no one.
I've been living with my Aunt Rachel for about three months now while my parents go to counseling and try to change the way that I've been forced to live. But to be honest I don't know if I actually want to go back home. The same thing keeps running through my head over and over again, haunting me constintally. Rachel tells me that it will go away but I'm not so sure. I not really sure of anything now.
"Molly, honey, you ready to go?" Rachel asks.
"Yea." I reply coming from my room.
"How is the new song coming?"
"I'm just playing one of Nickelback's songs."
"Well the party is tomorrow and I know that you'll do great."
"Thanks." I say giving my aunt a warm smile. I was singing tomorrow at Aunt Phoebe's birthday party. Singing and playing the guitar that Aunt Phoebe got me has become a great passion for me. I can let all of my anger out in a song and no one has to hear it. My parents would be there tomorrow and that was going to be hard. I figured that I would try my best to ignore them. I wasn't ready to hear their crap yet.
We arrived at my school about an hour later, it was parent teacher night and Aunt Rach had come with me since I now even considered her to be my mother. I was amazing how my life had come down to this and I didn't know anything anymore. The teacher however wanted my whole life story which I was unwilling to give.
"So Miss Green, would you be kind enough to tell me why you are present and not one Molly's biological parents?" my Geometry teacher asked.
"Well, her parents are unable to attend and since I am like Moll's second mother, I am attending. Now can we get on with it? Why is she failing this class?"
"Very simple. She can't do Geometry and I highly doubt that she will ever be able to."
I was shocked to say the least and didn't know how to handle it. I walked out of the room while my aunt pleaded for me to come back. As if my day couldn't get any worse, my dad was about to enter the room as I was leaving. I took one look at him and bolted. He chased after me which scared me so much that I can't even put it into words. I ran out of the school and onto the street which was when I barely missed getting hit by a car, which I wouldn't have minded one bit. I ran off down the street running with all that I had in me. My dad, Chandler, was lagging behind and I took that as my opportunity, I climbed up the nearest tree and stayed there at the very top until he ran by before running in the opposite direction. I was terrified. I ran back to school and saw Aunt Rach getting into her car. I ran up to her and she grabbed me in a fierce hug. I was shaking and felt like a scared child with no where to go. We got into the car and drove back to her apartment where I curled up in my bed and cried myself to sleep. But my Aunt Rachel had other things to do.
"Molly, I've gotta go out for a little bit. It you need anything just call my cell." she said at my door entrance. Seeing the tears still streaming down my cheeks, she gave me a light, motherly kiss on the cheek before shutting my door and locking the apartment door behind her. I pulled out my guitar and began practining on the song that I would sing in front of my parents.
Rachel stormed into the Bing's house. Walking into the living room she saw Chandler and Monica sitting on the couch watching tv.
"HOW DARE YOU SHOW UP AT HER SCHOOL!!!" she screamed. "Why the hell would you do that to her?"
Neither Chadler nor Monica knew how to respond to her rage so she continued.
"Someday she will pay you back for the way that you have treated her and in my opinion, it's long overdue." she walked out of the house got into her car and squealed away off down the street trying to calm down so I wouldn't see her that angry.
I couldn't sleep in my bed after I had sang the song a total of 15 times until finally I got all of it right, Aunt Pheebs would be so proud. My bed was unwelcoming and seemed so foreign to me so I crossed the room and walked into my aunt's room falling asleep as soon as I hit her pillows. Her bed was safe to me. Somewhere where no one could hurt me and cause me more pain. Somewhere where I felt like I belonged.
(When this began) I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find/
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind
(Inside of me)
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
[Chorus]
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity
'Cause I can't justify the way, everyone is looking at me
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
[Repeat Chorus]
I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today
[Repeat Chorus]
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong
The words ran around in my head. The lyrics proving true in my actual life and that's what scared me the most...I didn't know where I belong.
AN: For those who have asked about my other stories, I am working on them. My computer is really screwed and the A drive refuses to work at times and to read certain disks so after I fix that the internet screws up again. So don't think that I'm just leaving them, I am working on them and on this damn computer.
Oct 8: Okay now I'm adding this to clarify something. The song that she is singing for the party is by Nickleback, but the song that she hears on the radio(the lyrics in the story) are by Linkin Park. She isn't singing the Linkin Park song that is in the story. Just to clarify since apparently it's not that easy to see, my bad.
I've been living with my Aunt Rachel for about three months now while my parents go to counseling and try to change the way that I've been forced to live. But to be honest I don't know if I actually want to go back home. The same thing keeps running through my head over and over again, haunting me constintally. Rachel tells me that it will go away but I'm not so sure. I not really sure of anything now.
"Molly, honey, you ready to go?" Rachel asks.
"Yea." I reply coming from my room.
"How is the new song coming?"
"I'm just playing one of Nickelback's songs."
"Well the party is tomorrow and I know that you'll do great."
"Thanks." I say giving my aunt a warm smile. I was singing tomorrow at Aunt Phoebe's birthday party. Singing and playing the guitar that Aunt Phoebe got me has become a great passion for me. I can let all of my anger out in a song and no one has to hear it. My parents would be there tomorrow and that was going to be hard. I figured that I would try my best to ignore them. I wasn't ready to hear their crap yet.
We arrived at my school about an hour later, it was parent teacher night and Aunt Rach had come with me since I now even considered her to be my mother. I was amazing how my life had come down to this and I didn't know anything anymore. The teacher however wanted my whole life story which I was unwilling to give.
"So Miss Green, would you be kind enough to tell me why you are present and not one Molly's biological parents?" my Geometry teacher asked.
"Well, her parents are unable to attend and since I am like Moll's second mother, I am attending. Now can we get on with it? Why is she failing this class?"
"Very simple. She can't do Geometry and I highly doubt that she will ever be able to."
I was shocked to say the least and didn't know how to handle it. I walked out of the room while my aunt pleaded for me to come back. As if my day couldn't get any worse, my dad was about to enter the room as I was leaving. I took one look at him and bolted. He chased after me which scared me so much that I can't even put it into words. I ran out of the school and onto the street which was when I barely missed getting hit by a car, which I wouldn't have minded one bit. I ran off down the street running with all that I had in me. My dad, Chandler, was lagging behind and I took that as my opportunity, I climbed up the nearest tree and stayed there at the very top until he ran by before running in the opposite direction. I was terrified. I ran back to school and saw Aunt Rach getting into her car. I ran up to her and she grabbed me in a fierce hug. I was shaking and felt like a scared child with no where to go. We got into the car and drove back to her apartment where I curled up in my bed and cried myself to sleep. But my Aunt Rachel had other things to do.
"Molly, I've gotta go out for a little bit. It you need anything just call my cell." she said at my door entrance. Seeing the tears still streaming down my cheeks, she gave me a light, motherly kiss on the cheek before shutting my door and locking the apartment door behind her. I pulled out my guitar and began practining on the song that I would sing in front of my parents.
Rachel stormed into the Bing's house. Walking into the living room she saw Chandler and Monica sitting on the couch watching tv.
"HOW DARE YOU SHOW UP AT HER SCHOOL!!!" she screamed. "Why the hell would you do that to her?"
Neither Chadler nor Monica knew how to respond to her rage so she continued.
"Someday she will pay you back for the way that you have treated her and in my opinion, it's long overdue." she walked out of the house got into her car and squealed away off down the street trying to calm down so I wouldn't see her that angry.
I couldn't sleep in my bed after I had sang the song a total of 15 times until finally I got all of it right, Aunt Pheebs would be so proud. My bed was unwelcoming and seemed so foreign to me so I crossed the room and walked into my aunt's room falling asleep as soon as I hit her pillows. Her bed was safe to me. Somewhere where no one could hurt me and cause me more pain. Somewhere where I felt like I belonged.
(When this began) I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find/
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind
(Inside of me)
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
[Chorus]
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity
'Cause I can't justify the way, everyone is looking at me
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
[Repeat Chorus]
I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today
[Repeat Chorus]
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong
The words ran around in my head. The lyrics proving true in my actual life and that's what scared me the most...I didn't know where I belong.
AN: For those who have asked about my other stories, I am working on them. My computer is really screwed and the A drive refuses to work at times and to read certain disks so after I fix that the internet screws up again. So don't think that I'm just leaving them, I am working on them and on this damn computer.
Oct 8: Okay now I'm adding this to clarify something. The song that she is singing for the party is by Nickleback, but the song that she hears on the radio(the lyrics in the story) are by Linkin Park. She isn't singing the Linkin Park song that is in the story. Just to clarify since apparently it's not that easy to see, my bad.