Chapter One:

Yusuke Sees a Therapist

A/N This is it! Keiko has finally driven poor Yusuke insane! (*Botan* Driven?!! What are you talking about? Yusuke is already insane!) (*Yusuke* BOTAN!!) (*Botan* Oops! ^_^;; Gotta go!) J/K, Sorry Keiko fans! I couldn't resist! You will find that Keiko is not my most favorite character, so she will probably disappear early, and hopefully die a slow and painful death. Er…………I mean……….quick and painless. Yeah that's it. ^_^;; *blink* Anyway…………………………Everyone will be out of character most of the time, so if anyone has a problem with that, deal! I have no patience for whiners!! And I am going to say this, even though it is painfully obvious:

I Do Not Own Yu Yu Hakusho!!!

(*pout*, unfortunately.) This is my first fanfic (Though my writing partner, Mia Jaganshi has written several poems that you can find at FictionPress.net) I hope that you enjoy this fic!

Ja ne!

~Ravynne~

A/N…*Looks around* Why are you all staring at me?!! Ooo……….lookit the shiny, sparkly, new ficcy! *random evil grin* I wish that you all have fun to excess while reading this fic! Or………….umm…………….else! Yeah…-.o"" OR ELSE! Wahahahaha!…-.o" *Blinks* …*long pause* Why am I here again? To write something called "Caffeine!"??…Riiiiiiiight…Oh well…Off we go, then!

~Mia-chan ^_^"

"You want me to what?!!" Yusuke shouted.

"I want you to go and talk to this doctor…" His mother began.

"Quack, you mean!" Yusuke interrupted.

"Call her what you like, but you are going to see her!" Atsuka yelled, loosing her patience. The argument had been going on for over half an hour, which was not hard to believe. Yusuke was wearing his usual green jumpsuit and scowl, and he had just gotten back from his monthly visit to school when the argument had started.

"Well…you can't make me, so there!"

"Now you're just being childish."

"So? There is nothing you can do to make me go talk to her," Yusuke grumbled.

"We'll see about that," Atsuka said, smiling.

Yusuke was still grumbling fifteen minutes later as he sat in the waiting room at the psychologist's office. He didn't know how his mother managed to get him there, but it was definitely by force. One minute he was standing there staring her down and the next he was being dragged down the street. She was strong when she needed to be.

Yusuke was still in shock. She was actually making him see some quack who only had some signed piece of paper stating that they were actually a professional, and anyone could sign a piece of paper. They could be a deranged killer for all he knew, not that he hadn't already met plenty of those.

Atsuka stayed out all night partying with her friends and then came home so drunk she was mumbling something about the tiny purple penguins that had eaten all of her shoes, and then had the nerve to suggest that he was crazy?!! What a great parental unit he had. She was so great that she deserved an award! Yeah, the best dysfunctional mother award. (Author's Comment (A/C) Sarcasm much?? ^.^)

He goes and saves the world, multiple times from impending doom and what does he get for his trouble? He gets sent to a psychologist! Thank you very much Yusuke for saving our lives, we really appreciate it, now go to a psychologist! Yusuke was just about to perform an evasive maneuver (a.k.a "running away") when he heard his name being called.

"Urameshi, Yusuke," the voice belonged to a woman that looked like she was in her twenties. She was wearing her hair up in a bun and small, round glasses perched on her nose. "Please follow me."

"Damn," Yusuke muttered. He sighed, got up, and followed the "doctor" into her office.

"Hi, my name is Dr. Murikami," she said after they had been seated, him on a black leather couch and her on an uncomfortable looking cedar chair.

"Well now that we know everybody's name, can you get on with psychoanalyzing me so I can get out of here?"

"I'm not going to psychoanalyze you."

"Really? Good, then I don't need to be here," Yusuke said, stranding up. He was just about to leave when a shout reverberated through the facility, "Yusuke, don't you dare!!"

Yusuke sighed, and sat back down on the couch muttering something about stupid mothers.

"Ok, let's get this over with. I've got better things to do with my time."

"Let's start with a question and answer period."

"Fine, what do you want to know?"

"How's your home life?"

"Fine."

"And school?"

"Okay."

"I'd really appreciate answers that consist of more than one word."

"Okay."

The doctor sighed. "Your mother tells me that you have trouble with authority."

"So?"

"So, why do you think this is?"

"Well, it all started when I was seven," Dr. Murikami leaned forward and smiled, thinking that she was finally about to get some straight answers, "My mother took me to the circus, and I saw a clown, and I've never been the same since," Yusuke finished.

Dr. Murikami leaned back again, her smile fading. "Has there been any undue stress in your life?"

Yusuke sat back and thought about this one. Hmm…let's see, stress. Well, he had died, met the "Grim Reaper", and had then been brought back to life, only to be put in situations where people-and he used that term loosely-had tried to maim him, skewer him, steal his soul, beat him to a pulp, rip him apart, and in general …KILL HIM!! (again). Of course there had been stress!

"No, none at all," Yusuke replied without blinking an eye. "How about you?"

Dr. Murakami sighed, exasperated. "Let's try a different approach. How about some inkblots?"

"Sure, why not?"

"What do you see here?" She asked, holding up the first inkblot.

"An inkblot."

"Ok…how about here?"

"An inkblot."

"And here?"

"A puppy…no wait…it's an inkblot."

"Yusuke, be serious."

"I am being serious," Yusuke replied, smirking.

"Fine, what about this one?"

"An inkblot."

"And this one?"

"Inkblot."

"How about this one?"

"An inkblot."

"And this?"

Yusuke, now very tired of staring at a piece of white cardboard and trying to make shapes out of the black blob on it, exploded, "A damn inkblot! I see an inkblot! Why the hell don't you get that?!! I don't see anything but a friggin' inkblot!!!"

"No need to get angry," Dr. Murikami said as she wrote in her notes, 'Anger management??'

After he had calmed down Yusuke asked, "So doc, am I crazy?"

Just then a voice piped up, "Probably."

"Huh? Who said that?"

"Down here, in your communicator."

"Botan?" Yusuke asked looking at Dr. Murikami panicked.

"Bingo, Yusuke! Don't worry no one can hear you. What are you doing anyway? All I heard was you asking 'Am I crazy?'"

"Uh, nothing," Yusuke said.

"Oh ok…Well, anyway, the reason I called is that there is just a teeny emergency up here in Spirit World-"

"Emergency?! What emergency?! It's not another demon is it?" Faint shouting could be heard in the background.

"Uh…no, this emergency is much closer to home. We need you up here pronto!" she said as what looked like a cream cake sailed past her head and smashed into the wall beside her and exploded, spraying cream filling everywhere.

"Ok, I'll be right there."

"Thanks, see you then." Botan said, looking relieved.

Yusuke got up and started running for the door, "I gotta go! Nice talking to you!"

"Wait! Where are you going? Our hour's not up yet!" Dr. Murikami said.

"Put it on my tab!" Yusuke shouted over his shoulder to her. Then, under his breath he muttered, "Thank God for emergencies, I thought I'd be in there forever."

As he was running out the front entrance of the building, Yusuke passed his mother.

"How'd it go?" she asked.

"Not so good, I'm a psychophrenic, but don't worry! They have medication for this kind of stuff."

"You're a what?!"

"I'm a schizotic psychophrenic! Now leave me alone!" Yusuke shouted as he left his very confused mother behind.

Just then another person called out to him, "Hey Urameshi!"

"What now?" Yusuke muttered.

"Where are you going?" Kuwabara asked.

"Spirit World, there's been some kind of emergency up there."

"I'm coming with you."

"Fine, just shut up and hurry."

Yusuke and Kuwabara pushed their way through the crowds in the streets. Kuwabara was shouting, "Excuse me, Pardon me," while Yusuke shouted, "Hey you, move it! Get outta my way!"

They raced towards the portal to Spirit World that Botan had shown them after their first mission as Spirit Detectives. In order to stop other people from finding it, the portal had been placed in a small one-room building that to everyone but Yusuke and other Spirit Detectives looked like a run-down shack. Also, as an added precaution against any curious teenagers, a holographic hobo staggered out every ten minutes or so, and shouted at people to stay away from his "house". As Yusuke and Kuwabara approached the "shack" they looked around to make sure that no one was watching and ignoring the hobo slipped inside. They stepped through the doorway into a small room that was perfectly normal except that it was completely devoid of any furniture or decoration, oh, and of course there was also the swirling vortex in the middle of the floor. (A/C Not that that was very noticeable at all. ^.^) Then they looked at each other, took a deep breath, and jumped into the portal.