Yugi's Quest
Characters: Yugi Motou-The lowest level of street thug, Yugi spends his time ripping people off and getting into trouble. Fortunately his street smarts and ebonics jive keep him alive and get him bitches!
Marik Ishtar-Popular middle-time drug dealer who has many mind-slaves willing to take a bullet for him. Currently in financial dispute with Yugi Motou.
Grandpa Motou From the Dumpster-Motou started his life out as a wealthy heir to a great fortune, but after years of good living, he figured out that he hates money and everything it buys! So he gave it up to live in a dumpster behind Feisterly's Urinal Cakes.
Seto Kaiba-Bouncer at the popular "Smokin' Joint".
Mai Valentine-Mai first got into stripping as a toddler. From there she graduated to mutual masturbation at 12, outright whoring at 18, and at 21 holds the record for most guys at one time. Currently employed at "Smokin' Joint".
Officer Pegasus-After being booted from the "Singing Swallow" boys' choir for "Conduct Unbecoming a Parishioner", Maximillion Pegasus joined the police force.
Sir Weevil Underwood Jr. the Second-Weevil's favorite pastime is clobbering hapless fools with his giant bat. He supports himself by selling various illegal narcotics.
Honda and Wheeler-These guys' entire reason of existence lies in their next hit of smack. They rode a downward spiral all the way to hell. But they're happy.
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In a dark alley.
Marik: Born insecure motherfucka! Hey honking bitch, where's my money?
Yugi: Here's your fucking money, bitch! (Dodges gunshots by Marik, jumps on a crate and jumps on and off a ladder attached to a building). Watch the money! Watch the money! (Yugi waits for Marik to climb up the ladder)
Marik: (Climbs up the ladder and sees Yugi point a gun towards his forehead)
Gun: BANG!
Marik: (Falls off the ladder and hits the ground with a hole in his forehead).
Yugi: (Climbs down the ladder and jumps off). Here's that mofo that I smoked like it aint nothin'. Well, he sure don't need this needle no more. (Plucks the needle in Marik's hands and walks over to a trashcan). Look, a matchbook! .And it looks like some dumb bitch wrote her number in it! (Yugi picks it up. Yugi leaves the alley and a man greets him.
Bakura: Man, you done fucked up! That motherfucker was Marik Ishtar that you just smoked! Don't you know who his fuckin' sister is, man? She fuckin' owns this town. she's gonna be after yo' ass, motherfucka. You get out of this town now! 'Scuze me while I hit this up.
Yugi: (Walks east of town into another alley and looks into a cardboard box) I can't believe someone leave a half-drunk bottle of jager layin' around! (Walks west of town and then into another alley and looks into a dumpster)
Grandpa: I'm not talking to you unless I'm drunk.
Yugi: (Hands him the jager)
Grandpa: Oh, jagermeister, now you're talking! Oh, can you do an old bum a favor. and get a hold of this stripper girl Mai for me. I can make it worth your while if you know what I mean. (Shines money in a bag in his eyes)
Yugi: (Eyes pop out)
Grandpa: Here's bus change to get you started. My name's Grandpa by the way.
Yugi: (Walks west of town and goes to a phone booth where he finds $0.25 and picks up the phone and punches in 555-6969 as he looks on the matchbook)
Kaiba: Smokin' Joint. This is Kaiba.
Yugi: Yeah, is there a ho' named Mai there?
Kaiba: Hold on a sec.
Mai: Someone call for me suga'?
Yugi: Yo, this is Yugi Motou. Wanna come and kick it, bitch?
Mai: Sho', I'm all over it. You can come on over, handsome.
Yugi: (Hangs up and walks to the bus stop) I'll be going through bitches like rags through riches!
A car follows the bus.
Yugi: (Breaks window and says.) You die, motherfucker!
Seeker: (In a car-Pulls up in front of the window while the bus is in motion and says.) You motherfucker!
Yugi: (Pulls out a gun and shoots) Bbbbtttt!
Seeker: (Falls over and dies) Ehhhhh!
Arkana: (Pulls up in a car and says.) You motherfucker!
Yugi: Bbbbtttt!
Arkaina: Ahhhhhhhhhh!
Police car passes by.
Yugi: (Quickly pulls gun back)
Lumis and Umbra: (Lumis is driving the truck while Umbra is on top and shouts.) You motherfucker!
Yugi: (Swiftly shoots him) Bbbbtttt!
Umbra: Uhhhhhhhhghhhhh!
Lumis: (Pops head out of dirver's window) You motherfucker!
Yugi: (Blows his head off) Bbbbtttt!
Lumis: Ohhhhuhhhhh!
That's all for now! Next Issue: Yugi's Quest for Mai
Characters: Yugi Motou-The lowest level of street thug, Yugi spends his time ripping people off and getting into trouble. Fortunately his street smarts and ebonics jive keep him alive and get him bitches!
Marik Ishtar-Popular middle-time drug dealer who has many mind-slaves willing to take a bullet for him. Currently in financial dispute with Yugi Motou.
Grandpa Motou From the Dumpster-Motou started his life out as a wealthy heir to a great fortune, but after years of good living, he figured out that he hates money and everything it buys! So he gave it up to live in a dumpster behind Feisterly's Urinal Cakes.
Seto Kaiba-Bouncer at the popular "Smokin' Joint".
Mai Valentine-Mai first got into stripping as a toddler. From there she graduated to mutual masturbation at 12, outright whoring at 18, and at 21 holds the record for most guys at one time. Currently employed at "Smokin' Joint".
Officer Pegasus-After being booted from the "Singing Swallow" boys' choir for "Conduct Unbecoming a Parishioner", Maximillion Pegasus joined the police force.
Sir Weevil Underwood Jr. the Second-Weevil's favorite pastime is clobbering hapless fools with his giant bat. He supports himself by selling various illegal narcotics.
Honda and Wheeler-These guys' entire reason of existence lies in their next hit of smack. They rode a downward spiral all the way to hell. But they're happy.
***************************************************************************
In a dark alley.
Marik: Born insecure motherfucka! Hey honking bitch, where's my money?
Yugi: Here's your fucking money, bitch! (Dodges gunshots by Marik, jumps on a crate and jumps on and off a ladder attached to a building). Watch the money! Watch the money! (Yugi waits for Marik to climb up the ladder)
Marik: (Climbs up the ladder and sees Yugi point a gun towards his forehead)
Gun: BANG!
Marik: (Falls off the ladder and hits the ground with a hole in his forehead).
Yugi: (Climbs down the ladder and jumps off). Here's that mofo that I smoked like it aint nothin'. Well, he sure don't need this needle no more. (Plucks the needle in Marik's hands and walks over to a trashcan). Look, a matchbook! .And it looks like some dumb bitch wrote her number in it! (Yugi picks it up. Yugi leaves the alley and a man greets him.
Bakura: Man, you done fucked up! That motherfucker was Marik Ishtar that you just smoked! Don't you know who his fuckin' sister is, man? She fuckin' owns this town. she's gonna be after yo' ass, motherfucka. You get out of this town now! 'Scuze me while I hit this up.
Yugi: (Walks east of town into another alley and looks into a cardboard box) I can't believe someone leave a half-drunk bottle of jager layin' around! (Walks west of town and then into another alley and looks into a dumpster)
Grandpa: I'm not talking to you unless I'm drunk.
Yugi: (Hands him the jager)
Grandpa: Oh, jagermeister, now you're talking! Oh, can you do an old bum a favor. and get a hold of this stripper girl Mai for me. I can make it worth your while if you know what I mean. (Shines money in a bag in his eyes)
Yugi: (Eyes pop out)
Grandpa: Here's bus change to get you started. My name's Grandpa by the way.
Yugi: (Walks west of town and goes to a phone booth where he finds $0.25 and picks up the phone and punches in 555-6969 as he looks on the matchbook)
Kaiba: Smokin' Joint. This is Kaiba.
Yugi: Yeah, is there a ho' named Mai there?
Kaiba: Hold on a sec.
Mai: Someone call for me suga'?
Yugi: Yo, this is Yugi Motou. Wanna come and kick it, bitch?
Mai: Sho', I'm all over it. You can come on over, handsome.
Yugi: (Hangs up and walks to the bus stop) I'll be going through bitches like rags through riches!
A car follows the bus.
Yugi: (Breaks window and says.) You die, motherfucker!
Seeker: (In a car-Pulls up in front of the window while the bus is in motion and says.) You motherfucker!
Yugi: (Pulls out a gun and shoots) Bbbbtttt!
Seeker: (Falls over and dies) Ehhhhh!
Arkana: (Pulls up in a car and says.) You motherfucker!
Yugi: Bbbbtttt!
Arkaina: Ahhhhhhhhhh!
Police car passes by.
Yugi: (Quickly pulls gun back)
Lumis and Umbra: (Lumis is driving the truck while Umbra is on top and shouts.) You motherfucker!
Yugi: (Swiftly shoots him) Bbbbtttt!
Umbra: Uhhhhhhhhghhhhh!
Lumis: (Pops head out of dirver's window) You motherfucker!
Yugi: (Blows his head off) Bbbbtttt!
Lumis: Ohhhhuhhhhh!
That's all for now! Next Issue: Yugi's Quest for Mai