Disclaimer - Alright, you all know that I don't own anything from Harry Potter so I'm not even going to put this in here anymore.



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The Wacky World of Remus Lupin


Remus Lupin and the Return of the Devil Pastries



Remus Lupin was walking along the road in Hogsmeade when he came across a pastry shop. He shuddered, but he was craving a chocolate eclair so he went in anyway.


He told the woman behind the counter what he wanted and she went in back to get it. Remus looked about. Boy this reminded him of the time James had injected laxatives into the Slytherin's breakfast. Now that was funny, but it's also a different story.


The woman came back out and handed Remus his eclair. He paid, and stepped out into the bright sunshine.


As he came out of the shop he looked down at the eclair in his hand and cried out in horror. There were two googly eyes, a nose made of felt, and a round construction paper mouth. And then Remus heard the voice that haunted his dreams.


"Round two baby! Can you take the heat?! I pity the Fool!"


Several minutes of kicking, screaming, and cream filling later, Remus was covered in chocolate syrup and had cream filling in his shoes, his pockets, and various other places.


So he ran as fast as he could run away from that chocolate eclair. He passed Snape who knocked him unconscious with a rack of lamb.


"Seriously, have him medicated."


And to this day Remus has not touched a pastry. Of course, this whole incident happened yesterday, so it's kinda hard to tell.



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