"Hello gentlemen," Finch said to Jim and Stifler who were standing in the
doorway.
"Finch, it's been a while," Jim said hugging him. Stifler and Finch eyed each other before mildly shaking hands. Finch showed himself in and looked around the room.
"It's been a while since I've been here," he said. Stifler nodded then showed him to the living room.
"Right, but we have a much more serious problem here shitbreak! Cadence thinks I don't understand girls and she dumped me last night!" Finch began to cough, and then hit his chest.
"You mean you actually stayed with her all this time?" he asked, amazed that Stifler could hold a girl for that long of a time. Stifler nodded.
"Yeah, and I need your help!" Finch scratched his head, and lounged on the couch.
"I told him you were into that kind of understanding people crap. Do you know what to do?" Finch thought, then nodded.
"Indeed I do. I have a friend, she has a gift. You should go see her, she will help you out." Stifler was ready to do anything to get Cadence back. He thought he actually might love her, which was the first real love he'd ever have.
"We have to go see her, tonight. I don't want Cadence to find anyone else, she is hot and all." Finch nodded and moved towards the door.
"She lives nearby, we can go see her tonight. Lets go."
*
Stifler sat in the back of Finch's new Mercedes Benz. Jim sat in the front and well Finch drove. Soon they were in a part of town neither Jim nor Stifler had ever been too. Stifler had heard of it, some of the kids on the football team would bring their girlfriends here and try to scare them with stories of gypsies and psychics. Stifler began to wonder if Finch was just getting back at him after years of torture. Finally, they stopped in front of a gray painted house with lawn gnomes everywhere.
"Here's Sylvia's place," he said turning the ignition off. Stifler got out and looked at the house.
"Are you fucking nuts?" he said staring. Jim got out too.
"Come on Stifler, I'm sure its really nice." He said, not so sure actually. Finch crossed his arms and tapped his foot.
"Do you want help or not?" He said walking up the driveway. Jim jerked his head towards the house and followed Finch. Stifler sighed and walked up with them. Finch ran the doorbell exactly eleven times. Stifler guessed it was how weirdo's told each other they arrived. They stood for two minutes before the door opened. An old woman, defiantly in her 50's, answered. She eyed Jim and Stifler before smilingly widely at Finch.
"Finch! Finch! Come in, come in. It's been to long." Sylvia said showing Finch in.
"Don't forget my friends," Finch said pointing back. Sylvia stopped Stifler and Jim at the door and looked at them.
"I sense someone here is not trustworthy," she sneered at Jim. Finch pulled her back.
"Don't worry, its just Steven's stench." He said. Jim smiled and glided past Sylvia with ease. Sylvia still glared at Stifler.
"Hello," he said with a genuinely fake smile. The woman sighed deeply and pursed her lips, as if trying to read his posture. Stifler put his hands in his pockets and smiled again. The woman turned sideways and opened her arms.
"Well, come in," she snapped, as if he had been standing out there on purpose. He walked inside and eyed Finch while Sylvia closed the door behind him. He looked around the room. It was painted gold and had purple and pink scarves either tapped or stapled into the walls. Each doorway in the house was covering in beads and the room was dimmed. Finch stood and smiled.
"Sylvia, we are here to see if you can help Steven," Finch said pointing at Stifler. Her friendly smiled faded.
"You mean the un-trustworthy one?" she asked with sheer dullness in her voice. Finch nodded and smiled.
"Yes, the un-trustworthy one. Let us go and sit and you can see if you can help me friend." Sylvia nodded and led them to the room behind the yellow beads. It was a plain room full of throw pillows. They all sat on one. Stifler faced Sylvia. The old woman crossed her arms and looked around dully.
"What is your problem?" she asked, in a cold voice that she didn't use towards Finch. Stifler leaned forward a bit and made eye contact with her.
"You see, my girlfriend dumped me last night because she thinks I don't understand woman and I think I do . . .I guess I'm asking you to help me understand girls," Stifler said with a grin. The old woman's face narrowed and she looked as if she were about to spit. Instead she began to laugh. Stifler's smiled faded and he leaned back onto the wall. Sylvia kept laughing and looked at Finch and pointed at Stifler.
"Are you kidding me? You brought him here, for me to help him understand girls? I cannot believe you! I haven't had such a laugh in years . . ." Finch sighed and Jim looked at Stifler and shrugged.
"Please, he is very needy and thinks he may love her," Finch said, lightly touching Sylvia's hand. The old woman stopped smirking and looked Stifler in the eyes.
"The only way to understand girls is to be one." Stifler laughed.
"Are you shitting me? I'm leaving," Stifler said getting up for the door.
"Wonk ot deen yeht tahw dnatsrednu yeht litnu namow a eeht esruc nihtiw secrof eht yam!" Sylvia spat. Before Stifler could say, 'What the fuck?' his eyes became heavy and he fell into a hazy darkness.
"Finch, it's been a while," Jim said hugging him. Stifler and Finch eyed each other before mildly shaking hands. Finch showed himself in and looked around the room.
"It's been a while since I've been here," he said. Stifler nodded then showed him to the living room.
"Right, but we have a much more serious problem here shitbreak! Cadence thinks I don't understand girls and she dumped me last night!" Finch began to cough, and then hit his chest.
"You mean you actually stayed with her all this time?" he asked, amazed that Stifler could hold a girl for that long of a time. Stifler nodded.
"Yeah, and I need your help!" Finch scratched his head, and lounged on the couch.
"I told him you were into that kind of understanding people crap. Do you know what to do?" Finch thought, then nodded.
"Indeed I do. I have a friend, she has a gift. You should go see her, she will help you out." Stifler was ready to do anything to get Cadence back. He thought he actually might love her, which was the first real love he'd ever have.
"We have to go see her, tonight. I don't want Cadence to find anyone else, she is hot and all." Finch nodded and moved towards the door.
"She lives nearby, we can go see her tonight. Lets go."
*
Stifler sat in the back of Finch's new Mercedes Benz. Jim sat in the front and well Finch drove. Soon they were in a part of town neither Jim nor Stifler had ever been too. Stifler had heard of it, some of the kids on the football team would bring their girlfriends here and try to scare them with stories of gypsies and psychics. Stifler began to wonder if Finch was just getting back at him after years of torture. Finally, they stopped in front of a gray painted house with lawn gnomes everywhere.
"Here's Sylvia's place," he said turning the ignition off. Stifler got out and looked at the house.
"Are you fucking nuts?" he said staring. Jim got out too.
"Come on Stifler, I'm sure its really nice." He said, not so sure actually. Finch crossed his arms and tapped his foot.
"Do you want help or not?" He said walking up the driveway. Jim jerked his head towards the house and followed Finch. Stifler sighed and walked up with them. Finch ran the doorbell exactly eleven times. Stifler guessed it was how weirdo's told each other they arrived. They stood for two minutes before the door opened. An old woman, defiantly in her 50's, answered. She eyed Jim and Stifler before smilingly widely at Finch.
"Finch! Finch! Come in, come in. It's been to long." Sylvia said showing Finch in.
"Don't forget my friends," Finch said pointing back. Sylvia stopped Stifler and Jim at the door and looked at them.
"I sense someone here is not trustworthy," she sneered at Jim. Finch pulled her back.
"Don't worry, its just Steven's stench." He said. Jim smiled and glided past Sylvia with ease. Sylvia still glared at Stifler.
"Hello," he said with a genuinely fake smile. The woman sighed deeply and pursed her lips, as if trying to read his posture. Stifler put his hands in his pockets and smiled again. The woman turned sideways and opened her arms.
"Well, come in," she snapped, as if he had been standing out there on purpose. He walked inside and eyed Finch while Sylvia closed the door behind him. He looked around the room. It was painted gold and had purple and pink scarves either tapped or stapled into the walls. Each doorway in the house was covering in beads and the room was dimmed. Finch stood and smiled.
"Sylvia, we are here to see if you can help Steven," Finch said pointing at Stifler. Her friendly smiled faded.
"You mean the un-trustworthy one?" she asked with sheer dullness in her voice. Finch nodded and smiled.
"Yes, the un-trustworthy one. Let us go and sit and you can see if you can help me friend." Sylvia nodded and led them to the room behind the yellow beads. It was a plain room full of throw pillows. They all sat on one. Stifler faced Sylvia. The old woman crossed her arms and looked around dully.
"What is your problem?" she asked, in a cold voice that she didn't use towards Finch. Stifler leaned forward a bit and made eye contact with her.
"You see, my girlfriend dumped me last night because she thinks I don't understand woman and I think I do . . .I guess I'm asking you to help me understand girls," Stifler said with a grin. The old woman's face narrowed and she looked as if she were about to spit. Instead she began to laugh. Stifler's smiled faded and he leaned back onto the wall. Sylvia kept laughing and looked at Finch and pointed at Stifler.
"Are you kidding me? You brought him here, for me to help him understand girls? I cannot believe you! I haven't had such a laugh in years . . ." Finch sighed and Jim looked at Stifler and shrugged.
"Please, he is very needy and thinks he may love her," Finch said, lightly touching Sylvia's hand. The old woman stopped smirking and looked Stifler in the eyes.
"The only way to understand girls is to be one." Stifler laughed.
"Are you shitting me? I'm leaving," Stifler said getting up for the door.
"Wonk ot deen yeht tahw dnatsrednu yeht litnu namow a eeht esruc nihtiw secrof eht yam!" Sylvia spat. Before Stifler could say, 'What the fuck?' his eyes became heavy and he fell into a hazy darkness.