The Wacky World of Remus Lupin
Remus Lupin in the Matrix
***********
Remus Lupin was spending a quiet Saturday morning in his office. All of a sudden, a bald guy wearing shiny leather pants fell out of his ceiling.
"Holy Shit!"
The guy jumped up and grabbed Remus's arm.
"Come, Neil, you are the One," he said.
"What the hell are you talking about? My name is Remus."
"Just come with me and I'll show you your destiny."
Remus shrugged and followed the bald guy up to the owlery. This kinda reminded him of that party when McGonnagal got drunk and dressed up in a leather dominatrix outfit, complete with a whip. Remus cringed at the memory, but that's a different story.
The bald guy lifted up a brown owl and said, "Beam me up, Captain," And then they weren't in Hogwarts anymore. They were in a white room with racks and racks of wands blowing past. Just as suddenly as it started, it stopped and there were two armchairs in the room.
"Neil," said the bald guy, " you live in a world of the Matrix, and..." Remus cut him off.
"What the hell. I saw this movie . And my name is Remus." The bald guy ignored him and carried on.
"Take the blue pill and go back to your ignorant life. Take the red pill and see how deep the rabbit hole goes."
"Alright, I'll be taking that blue pill." The bald guy looked worried.
"But, Neil, you're the One," Remus popped the pill in his mouth.
"Oh shut AHHHHHH,"
Remus landed on the floor of Hogwarts with a loud thump. Snape, of course, was standing over him.
"Seriously, I'll even pay for the appointment,"
************
