Author's Notes: I'm supposed to be typing my essay but I just couldn't do it. So here am I now, presenting to you my very first YNM fic. This is dedicated to my sister, Reeza – thanks, my beta reader. Without you, I think my fics would not be as nice. And also to the whole Gumball Society, thank you for always supporting me. Please enjoy reading!
~*~**~*~**~*~
Eyes
Your eyes tell me a thousand tales, Tsuzuki.
Tales that I know would never be put into words. Tales whose words are forever kept in your heart. Tales that I know would only be read through your eyes.
Has it always been hard for you to express what you really feel? I know that your childishness is just a mask to cover up your emotions. You can never deny it to me, Tsuzuki. I am an empath after all.
But still, why do you keep on saying that you're alright when you really are not? How could you still lie to me when you know very well that I can feel whatever you are feeling?
I know that it's hard to talk about what happened with Muraki. Geez, Tsuzuki, I'm the guy he raped and killed, remember? I know how it is to be in his hands, thank you very much. But wasn't it you who told me that I should talk about how I feel? Aren't you eating your words now?
Tatsumi-san, Watari-san and all the people here don't see or feel what I feel, Tsuzuki. They all think that you're alright and that you're back to your old self. And they're glad you're fine.
But, I can see through you.
"Hisoka, please don't look at me like that."
Don't look at you like what, Tsuzuki? Don't look at you like I can read you?
I looked away, thinking it might be best not to push anything for now. Maybe later at home, I thought.
I stood up and collected my things. You looked at me.
"I have something to do. I'll meet you at home, ok?"
He nodded and tried to smile at me. "Be sure you're home before I get home or else I'll be the one to make dinner."
I flinched. "I'll bring home something."
"Sankyuu, Hisoka! You're the best!"
~*~**~*~
I don't understand why you feel that you're alone, Tsuzuki.
I know that even though you don't say it, that's what you meant to tell me earlier.
But you're not alone. You have Tatsumi-san, Watari-san, Wakaba-chan, Terazuma and whole bunch of people in Ju-Oh-Cho. You have me, Tsuzuki.
What is keeping you away from me, Tsuzuki? Why are you so adamant in blocking me from you? I want to be part of your life. I want to share your happiness and your sorrow.
But you're keeping me out.
Is it my fault, too? Because I can't also express what I feel?
Tell me, won't you Tsuzuki?
"Hisoka-kun? Is that you?"
I spun around and saw the guy who could easily pass as my double, Minase Hijiri.
"Hijiri, how have you been?" I asked as he walked beside me.
"I've been great. I'm now studying in an exclusive school on the other side of the globe." He sighed. "Wow. It's been really long. Are you alone or is Tsuzuki lurking on some sweet shop as usual?"
We laughed. It only seems like yesterday when we saved this young man's life and made a difference in it. He's grown a lot. I wish Tsuzuki was here. He would've loved to see Hijiri.
"No. I'm alone tonight. I'm here to look for something edible to eat before he gets bored and cooks by himself."
Hijiri laughed hard. "He still is a very terrible cook, na?"
I nodded as we reached a fast food store.
"So, you two live together now?"
"Yeah. But we're now together as a couple, if that's what you're implying."
Hijiri looked surprised. "Not yet? What are you two waiting for? It's quite obvious that you feel something for each other."
I sighed then related what happened after we parted ways. He just nodded as I told him everything. It was only then that I came to realize that he was a good listener. I remember being so jealous of him when we first met. Tsuzuki gave so much attention to him and I felt jealous. But after the Minase Hijiri case, I realized just how strong our bond was. And I realized that not even Muraki could take him away from me. I know I sound selfish but Tsuzuki has been the only person to make me feel that I was needed and important.
"Did you tell him?" he asked as we walked out the store.
"Well, I did tell him that I needed him…"
"Hisoka-kun, I think that he also has to know that he's not alone in whatever he's dealing with. He knows you need him but does he know that you know he needs you just the same?"
I fell silent for a moment, absorbing his words. Ok. So I wasn't the most verbal person and maybe I was wrong in keeping silent but…
"Don't actions speak louder than words, Hijiri?"
True, I have been more caring than I have ever been in my entire life ever since that fateful night. I even proposed to stay at his apartment and become housemates. I did that to be able to be there whenever he wanted someone to be with. I wanted him to know that I was there and that he needn't be alone.
He nodded. "Yes. But sometimes, words are still needed to affirm what you feel. They didn't call 'I love you' the three sweetest words for nothing, did they?"
I was taken aback. Love? When did I mention love?
"You must be mistaken, Hijiri. Love is too strong a word. Care is the appropriate one."
He smiled and shook his head. "What you're feeling right now is love, Hisoka-kun. And Tsuzuki feels the same way. It's not always recognizable, y'know. And most of the time, it's disguised as extreme care for another. You don't go and risk your life for someone you just plainly care about. You risked your life because you love him."
~*~**~*~
"Tadaima," I said, opening the door.
"And about time, too. I was about to cook."
I looked up and saw Tsuzuki still in his office clothes. There was a goofy smile on his face but I knew that he wasn't really all that goofy inside.
"I met Hijiri. He sends his regards."
The grin became a wistful smile. "I wish I could see him. I miss that boy."
"Well, he misses you, too."
The grin was back on his face. "Of course! Now, let's eat! I am starving!"
Everything was set when I entered the kitchen. Tsuzuki must've really waited for me. I sat down across him and silently ate my share. He ate his while talking about the spill Terazuma had when I left the office. I was only half-listening. I was still thinking about what Hijiri said.
Was it really love?
"'Soka-chan?"
"Huh? Anything, Tsuzuki?"
"Iie. You just looked far from here."
There was a sad tone in his voice.
"Gomen."
"It's alright," he said as he got up and cleared his part of the table.
I just stared at him, wondering what I should say or do to make him feel that he wasn't alone. He didn't seem to mind me observing him. He just went on with what he was doing, even cleaning my side of the table, too. He was about to enter his room and bid me goodnight when I called to him.
"What is it, Hisoka?" he asked, his back still turned towards me.
"Do you remember me telling you that I need you?"
He nodded. "Yeah."
"Do you realize that you need me, too?"
He froze for a moment. "What are you trying to tell me?"
I got up from my seat and walked towards him. "I know you think you're alone, but the truth is, you're not. You have Tatsumi-san, Watari-san, Wakaba-chan, Terazuma, and all the people whose lives you have touched."
I slipped my hands from behind him and held him close to me. "Plus, you have me."
"Hisoka…"
"Tsuzuki, I want to share your sorrow. I want to share your happiness. I want you to know and feel that I'm right here beside you whenever you need me. You're someone special to me, y'know. No one has ever cared for me before – you're the first one to do so. You've given me a reason to live other than to kill that stupid pervert. And somehow, you mean so much to me that I could even sacrifice my life just to save yours. And that's because…"
Suddenly, it all became clear. Hijiri was right.
"Because?" he asked expectantly.
I smiled. "Because I love you, Asato."
He turned around and faced me, my hands still around his chest. He slowly guided my face up, his amethyst eyes meeting mine.
"I love you too, Hisoka."
His eyes brimmed with tears. They were sparkling with a joy I know that was bursting from his heart. He was happy. And this time, it was for real.
I smiled at him and leaned upward to kiss him. He smiled into the kiss and closed his eyes. It was our first kiss. A first of many, I suspect.
You eyes tell me a thousand tales, Tsuzuki.
Tales of sorrow, of bliss, of hardships, of triumphs, of losses and of gains.
Tales that I was ready to take part of.
-owari-
Author's Notes: Like it? Love it? Hate it? Tell me please! Thank you for reaching this far!
Disclaimers: Yami no Matsuei and all its characters belong to its creator. They do not belong to me. I just borrowed it. Only the story is mine.
Eyes is copyright Yumehime Yana Hossuru, 05Jan2k4, 01:25a. No part of this fanfic may be reproduced without the consent of the author. All rights reserved. 2004.