Authors Note: Sorry for taking so long with this chapter. I've just got a bunch of stuff going on right now, but here it is. It's basically just Severus' thoughts on his wife. I guess I felt the need to make it known that this did really have an effect on him I guess. Anyway, I think there's some cute memories heh, so enjoy! ^.^

Chapter Eight

The potions master could not turn his eyes away from the drawing of his former wife that had been left in his room. His face showed no signs of emotion, sadness, pain, nothing was given away in his expression. However, he did have one flaw, his eyes. His dark colored eyes illustrated more sadness and pain in them than anyone would have ever believed. His fingers still tracing the lightly sketched lines he couldn't help but smile slightly. "Paige did a wonderful job," he said softly to himself. "She's perfect."

By now he was doing everything in his power to keep in the tears that were fighting there way to flow freely. The last thing Severus Snape wanted to do was cry, but as minutes passed by everything that he was trying to hold back burst through and crystalline tears spilled from his eyes as he broke down into sobs. Ever since Paige had first arrived at Hogwarts he had done his best to repress his feelings and ignore the pain that he knew he was feeling. He had a job to do and couldn't afford to jeopardize that. Not only did he have teaching and work with The Order, he had a girl to stay strong for. Yet, no one was watching right? So it couldn't hurt to let everything out, just this once.

Finally he set down the picture, not wanting to smear it with his tears and laid down on his bed looking up at the ceiling. Using his hands to try and brush away his tears he closed his eyes and let his mind drift into a world of memories of better times, when Sarah was still alive.

*Flashback*

A young boy around the age of 10 was running down an empty sidewalk around 8:00 at night. The moon was blanketed by clouds and drops of rain fell heavily from the darkened sky. The boy's raven black hair was matted to his head and his hands tried desperately to wipe away the tears that were flowing down his cheeks. He had been running for the past half hour, trying to get as far away from his father as he possibly could. Unable to run any longer he crouched down at a block corner and buried his head in his knees., wishing he could just disappear.

He had been so caught up in his wishes to fade from existence that he hadn't realized that suddenly the rain had cease to fall on him. Finally, he slowly lifted his head too see if the rain had stopped, but was much more shocked at what he found. Standing in front of him, holding an umbrella over both of them, was a young girl smiling down at him. She had curly dark chocolate brown hair which was pulled into pigtails and emerald green eyes that looked deep into his own. "You were getting really wet," the girl pointed out, still smiling. "So I thought you might wanna share my umbrella with me."

Staring up at the girl the boy found himself at a loss for words. Standing in front of him was this young girl whom he had only just met, yet was by far the kindest person he had ever encountered. Not being able to help but smile the boy nodded and stood up, quickly trying to clear his eyes of any tears that were left. The girl began to walk again, only this time she was not alone. "My name is Sarah," she said happily.

"My name is Severus," the young boy replied smiling. Neither of them knew that starting that day, they would grow to be inseparable.

*End Flashback*

Although the memory had caused the tears to flow faster, Severus couldn't help but smile as well. The day he met Sarah had been the happiest day in his life up to then. It had been the first time he had ever seen true kindness. Sarah had always been a happy, cheerful, friendly type person, which was why he cared so much for her. She was never selfish, and always put everyone else's happiness before her own. She would do anything to keep someone from becoming sad. She had befriended him on a street corner, and changed his life forever. A few minutes later, his mind drifted into another memory.

*Flashback*

"Severus come on!" Sarah yelled as she tugged on his arm. The sun was shining down brightly on the two teenagers. Only a small breeze blew around them making it easier to catch the salty scent in the air. Not to far in front of them the ocean surface was sparkling from the reflecting sunlight beaming down at it. The 14 year old girl sighed in exasperation as she tried harder and harder to pull her best friend up. "It's such a wonderful day. Besides, what's the point of going to the beach if you're not going to go in the water?"

The fifteen year old looked up at the girl standing in front of him and smirked. "Why, to sit here and watch highly amused as you try to drag me into the water," he said laughing. As he stared up at her he felt his cheeks become warmer and shook his head, hoping that it was just the heat getting to him, though he knew it wasn't true. Sarah, the girl he had fallen for, was standing in front of him wearing a baby blue bikini top and a pair of khaki shorts. Her hair fell freely just past her shoulders.

Then, he noticed the look. The look that made him lose all ability to say no to his best friend. Something about the way she pouted he just found irresistible. Letting out a sigh he stood up and looked at her. "I'll stand at the shore," he said right before he started walking.

As he felt the coolness of the water hit the bottom of his feet Severus stopped and looked over at Sarah who was still trying to pout, but this was were he stopped the line. There was nothing she could do that could get him to go in the-.

The next thing Severus knew he was shivering from the ice cold water that was now surrounding him. Then he remembered, the last thing he had seen was Sarah who had lunged at him causing him to fall back into the water. Looking around he found that she was already further out than he was. Deciding that this deed would most definitely not go unpunished he began to swim out after her.

By the time he reached her the water was inches below his shoulders. He did his best to glare at her but found it to be most difficult with the innocent smile that played her lips. A smile then formed on his own face, except his was more of a smirk,. Suddenly he began splashing her with the salty water. The two friends laughed happily as they engaged in a splashing battle.

After what seemed like forever Sarah flung herself at him causing them both to fall back in the water. She giggled lightly at his shocked expression and smiled at him, still not releasing him from her grasp. The pair stayed like that for what seemed like forever, simply together, gazing into each others' eyes, raven black meeting emerald green. The next few moments seemed like a blur. Without warning Severus felt Sarah's lips lock with his. Getting over the initial shock he leaned into the kiss which seemed to last for an eternity. Finally when the two parted, Sarah's cheeks were flushed, and the same loving smile she used only with him made its way across her lips.

*End Flashback*

'Even now, I can't find the words to describe how I felt that moment,' Severus thought. 'That was the first time in my life that I had ever felt truly cared for and loved, by anyone. She was after all, my first, last, and only true love. We spent every moment we could together. Of course…that wasn't always enough. Since she was a muggle she didn't attend school with me and I missed her terribly during those months. I always went home for vacation though. Those were my happiest times…well, other than when we were married. Those were the best. I can still picture our wedding perfectly. We waited of course, until the war in the wizarding world had ceased for the time. But…that day…everything was perfect.'

'My parents had vowed not to attend, and they didn't, though I can't say that I minded. They were both completely against me marrying Sarah for she was a muggle. Although the thought of not having my parents was a bit disappointing, the thought of them treating me the way they did was disappointing too. Besides, everything was perfect without them being there to bring out the small amount of guilt I felt.'

'The scene was truly quite beautiful. I let Sarah do all the planning of course, she was much better at such things that I was, well, am. We were outdoors, in this large botanical garden. Flowers were perfectly in bloom and in the early evening the moon was starting to show. One by one stars were filling the sky and candles were lit at all the guest tables and along the path which Sarah would walk down. She had always loved looking up at the sky at night, just staring up and searching for constellations. I suppose it was not that much of a surprise when she claimed that she would love if the wedding was during the evening.

'I had been so nervous as I waited for the ceremony to begin. I couldn't help but think that this was all a dream. Everything I had wanted was now in my reach, but was it real? Or what if Sarah decided to change her mind? All this things I couldn't help but think about. For a moment my eyes had met Albus' and I felt a small amount of comfort. When the music started to play I had held my breathe. Slowly my body had turned around to see the most beautiful person in the world.'

''Sarah slowly walked down the isle with her father. Her white gown seemed to shimmer in the moon and candle light as it flowed behind her. Heh…at one point I couldn't help but wonder what if her gown hit one of the candles…That would have been terrible. When her father finally handed her arm to mine the thought completely exited my mind. All I had been able to do was smile…I don't even think my mind had been working at the time. The happiness was just too much. As we turned to Albus I removed the veil that covered her face and found her smiling happily at me, her eyes seeming as if she was on the verge of crying.'

'As Albus commenced with the ceremony I had seemed to zone out from time to time. It was really hard to believe that this was all actually happening to me. After all of the mistakes I had made in the past she still was able to find the good in me, and still loved me for who I was. Sarah…was truly the person I was meant to be with. When the ceremony closed the kiss we shared seemed to be full of everything we had been feeling. The party afterwards had been so much fun. I don't think I had ever smiled as much as I did that night. For me, it had been the happiest day of my life, and still is. Though, there's one thing that also comes quite close.'

By now tears had begun to stream down the potion master's face once more, only they flowed freely. He didn't move the rub them away, he just let the come. Moments later he heard the door to his quarters creek ever so quietly and was soon looking into the eyes of his daughter. Up until the very moment the only person who had ever seen him cry had been Sarah

Upon entering the room as Paige looked at her father she felt a pang of sadness. Never before had she witnessed her father in such pain. Never before had she seen tears slowly make their way down his face. Glancing at the table beside him she saw the picture of her mother and realized what was going on. She rushed over to her father and hugged him tightly, letting him know that she still felt it too. Lightly, she stroked his cheek with her small fingers and began brushing away the tears that were still falling.

The two stayed like that for what seemed like forever. Severus was the first to finally fall asleep, still holding Paige close to him. Paige sighed slightly and let her head rest on his shoulder. She had decided to go see where he was when he didn't show up for dinner, and that's when she found him. Glancing up at her father's sleeping face she smiled sadly. 'This was probably the first time I let his shield down since I arrived here,' she thought to herself. Tightening her hug just slightly she let herself begin to drift to sleep, knowing that tonight, it had been her turn to comfort her dad.