A/N: okay I just want to thank those of you who reviewed. Next time u
review please leave your e-mail address so that I can get back to you. I
like to reply to people when they send me reviews.
I would also like to tell Timba that I will be mentioning the piercing again. I'm glad u like them, so do I.
Anyone who reviews any of my chapters please leave your e-mail addy. Thx. Now enjoy the third chapter. I stayed awake way too long to do it because I kept getting interrupted with phone calls.
Secrets Revealed
Chapter Three: "Twisted Past"
Vegeta pulled into the garage and turned off the car. Goku sat still for a moment and didn't even undo his seatbelt. Vegeta looked over at him as he opened his door. He noticed that Goku's face was still at a blushing state. Vegeta didn't really feel bad about it, he actually felt rather flattered and confused about it at the same time. 'If anything I thought Kakkarott would hate it there. Never did I imagine that after what he just encountered that he would be blushing. But then again I should've guessed the blush would come since he was rather aroused at the time. I just never thought he'd even get aroused about it in the first place.' Vegeta was thinking to himself and then noticed he was staring at Goku and Goku was staring right back. Goku was lost in the depths of Vegeta's eyes just as Vegeta was realizing he was even looking at him.
Vegeta couldn't help but notice Goku's eyes lower to look down the sitting length of Vegeta's body. Vegeta then felt his own cheeks redden. When Goku slowly brought his eyes back up to Vegeta's face and saw the color it created a small smile on Goku's face. 'Hmmm maybe this means I can get revenge with him for him making me feel so embarrassed.' Goku thought. 'And all I'm doing right now is looking at him.' He turned his head down to his seatbelt to undo it as he thought of the possibilities. He stopped thinking because he didn't want to make his face grow back to the shade that it was before. Right now he just needed to work on getting it to reduce back down to its normal peachy color.
At the same time, Goku and Vegeta both opened their doors and got out. Since it was Vegeta's house, Goku let Vegeta walk in front of him to open the door that led into the house from inside of the garage. He felt stupid for letting him go first because now he had to look at his small tight ass while he walked ahead of him. He did like it, but if Vegeta were in his position it might help him get even more revenge. Goku started to think of it as more than revenge. He actually wanted to see if he could make the Prince blush more. He wanted to push him as far as he could until Vegeta couldn't take it and tried to ravish him. Goku smiled at the image in his head of Vegeta being forceful in that way with him. Again, he had to clear away the thought before his face said that it was too late.
Vegeta unlocked the door and hung his keys on a hook just inside of the door. Goku came in behind him and closed it. "Make sure you lock the door back up Kakkarott." Vegeta demanded. Goku turned and locked the door. As he was locking it, Vegeta used it as an excuse to examine Goku's body from behind. When Goku turned back around, Vegeta was too slow to remove his eyes from his backside. Goku quickly turned his head to hide any blushing that might come up. When he noticed that his face still felt cool and not hot, he turned his head back to Vegeta. It was way too silent for either of them to stand. The silence just made the tension grow more.
Silence has its ways of saying lots of things in so little time. And right now it was saying that both of the men were rather interested in looking at each other in new ways right now. Well, secretly, not all new ways for Goku. He had looked at him like this for a long time. 'Has Vegeta ever looked at me like this before without me noticing? Has he ever watched me sleep like I have him?' Goku knew that there was only one way to get his many questions answered. He wondered if he'd be able to detect it if Vegeta lied to him with his answers. Guess he'd find out soon enough. Or maybe it wouldn't be soon enough. After all, they still had to talk about other things; things that Vegeta would rather not talk about.
Vegeta walked into one of the many living rooms in the house and sat down on one end of the couch. Without invitation, Goku sat on the other end of the same black couch. He dropped his gaze to the floor and waited for Vegeta to say something first. After about three minutes of silence, Goku spoke first. "So, you said something about your past, and something about how it has to do with your new job. What is it?" Vegeta knew he wouldn't forget it and let it go. So he decided to talk and get it over with. Goku saw this as a way to let them get closer to each other. Not physically, but emotionally, just a way to get to know each other more. Vegeta looked at Goku and Goku sensed it and brought his own eyes to Vegeta's.
'Please see the pain in my eyes and tell me that I don't have to tell you.' Vegeta thought. Goku did see the emotion in his eyes, but that made him want to know even more. "Vegeta, I know this might be somewhat of a touchy subject for you, but I would really like to know. I want to know something about your past. After all, I do live with you. And I think that each other is all we really have right now. Even if you do have the people you work with, you can't really consider them friends. I have other friends, but I wouldn't ever be able to share every detail of my past with them. Well, that is if I had much of a past. I mean if I were in your position I wouldn't be able to tell all of them." Vegeta really thought about what Goku was saying to him.
With a sigh, Vegeta's lips parted to speak. "Okay, we'll take it from the beginning then. I told you that I regretted working where I work now, and the only reason that I do is because of a bad past with this stuff. Well, when I was very young, I'd say about eight years old, you were new on my planet. You were just a baby. Of course your power level was pathetic. My dad was King of all sayjins and I was Prince of the race. Then along came that stupid lizard. That ugly freak that called himself Fr. fr. Oh, it's no use, I can't even say his name, it. scares me too much. I mean . it makes me sick. Anyway, that sick being decided that he wanted to take over. My dad could've beat him, but not with all of the men that he had. His army surpassed ours.
"So, my father simply let him take over. He gave him the reigns. He put up no fight except for maybe a couple of arguments. My dad got sick of it and left. He was going to take me with him, but the 'new ruler' forbid it. He made me stay with him. He told my father that it was because he needed my power. So, my dad just up and left me just like that, sad but true. Well, what he told my father was a very big lie. He did use my power, but he had enough power with him and his goons that he didn't really need mine though. That wasn't the real reason that he wanted to keep me at all. He used me to satisfy other needs of his. His pleasurable needs were what he wanted from me. And, being anyone in their right mind, I refused. The first time he asked something of me, I yelled at him for even thinking that I would ever do anything with him.
"Well, willingly I wouldn't, but by force anybody would have to. Unless they were stronger than him, which I was not." Vegeta's eyes went down to the floor because he couldn't bear looking into someone's eyes as he told something this hurtful to them. Goku noticed this and tried to comfort him. "It's okay Vegeta. It's all over now. I don't need you to give me every detail, in fact, I would like it if you would leave the details out." Vegeta felt relieved hearing that. It would be much easier without the details. "Thank you Kakkarott." Goku wouldn't have been able to believe that Vegeta actually thanked anyone for anything, but right now he could.
"Yeah, he forced me to do things that I would never do out of my own want. His men just laughed it off. Not in front of him they didn't, but they laughed at me, which made it worse. Having to do it is one thing, having people know and make fun of you for it is another. But not only was I forced to do things to him; he did things to me also. And every time that it ended, I would go throw up. I spilled my guts every single day and night. I was not fed anything but small portions of his leftovers from him and his men. I think that maybe that has something to do with why I'm so short and small. I do hate being in this shape, but I can't fix it now." Goku thought of how much he loved Vegeta's shape and smallness. "It's okay Vegeta, you look really good like that." He interrupted. He didn't mean to put so much emphasis on the really good part. But there was no sense in trying to take it back now. It'd only make him look worse.
Vegeta let his mouth drop just a bit at hearing that compliment coming from Goku. Then he closed it back up and tried to forget about it. 'He was probably just trying to comfort me.' Vegeta thought reassuringly to himself. "This went on for years and years and years. I thought it would never stop. If he could've helped it then it would've never stopped. But thanks to my escaping when I was a man and his death later on it did. While I was there, I was more than just his personal slave for in a bedroom. I was a sight for all to see. I was made to dance like I do now. I had to perform things like I do now in front of him and his higher-class men. There were never any women there either. So now you probably wonder why I'd go back to doing that now since I hated it so much then. Well, I do it now because I feel that that is the only reason that I was put on this earth. I was only born so I could pleasure other people. My soul purpose is to be a pleasure slave to anyone who wants it. I am of no use in any other way.
"So I might as well do what God has intended me to do in life. While I was there I was whipped and badly abused. Just like I am now by Brolly. At least the people that I have to touch now are not gross looking or anything. Thank God for at least granting me that. Granting me life was the wrong thing to do. I would rather be dead than do this; the only reason that I don't kill myself is because that would be very weak. It's just running away from your problems. The other reason is because I fear that I will meet up with 'him' in Hell again. I mean I know that even if I don't kill myself I am going to Hell. But at least I can make this sad life last a little longer than that. I would like to delay my death as much as possible for only that reason." Goku had tears in his eyes by now. They were already running down his cheeks and more threatened to fall. He was at least able to hold his sobbing sounds inside though.
"Well, that about sums it up Kakkarott. That is why I do what I do. That is why I am where I am. That is why I live like I live. That is why I cry every single night. Just cry myself to sleep even when I'm not tired because the crying exhausts me. I hope that you got the information that you wanted. I hope you are satisfied with the answers to my life." Vegeta shot up in a second and stormed upstairs into his bedroom. Goku felt the guiltiest that he's ever felt in his entire life right now. He made Vegeta bring out the things that he feared. Goku thought he would never forgive himself for this.
After debating with himself about what to do, Goku got up and went to the room that Vegeta just slammed the door to. Goku knew that Vegeta was crying. With his good hearing for being a sayjin, he could hear the fragile man sobbing. He knocked lightly on the door. 'I knew he'd come knocking! Why can't he just leave me alone? He's already done enough for tonight!' "You've done enough for tonight Kakkarott! Leave me alone now!" Goku felt like dying right then and there. But there was no way he was taking the chances of leaving Vegeta alone right now. "Vegeta, I'm so sorry. Really, you'll never know how sorry I am. Please let me in. I need to talk to you. I promise I won't ask you anymore about your life. I swear I just need to talk to you. You don't even have to say anything to me. Please, please, please, pl.." Goku started crying just as Vegeta was now. He couldn't even speak anymore. He slid down to the floor leaning against the door.
Vegeta couldn't resist Goku's sad begging at his door. But he wasn't going to give in and open the door either. Goku took in a deep breath and stood up. He didn't even bother wiping away the hot streams running down the sides of his face. He hoped that the door wasn't locked, and to his surprise it wasn't. He thrust the door open and then shut it behind him. He walked over to the bed that Vegeta was laying on. He saw Vegeta's face buried in the pillow. He saw his small shoulders shaking violently. Goku sat down on the bed right beside him.
Since Vegeta was so much smaller than Goku and Goku had sayjin strength, he lifted Vegeta's trembling body and cradled him in his lap. He pressed Vegeta's head against his chest just below his shoulder and started rubbing his hair with one hand as he supported Vegeta's back with the other. 'This poor thing sure had a twisted past.' Goku thought but didn't dare say it out loud. He didn't want to say something that Vegeta already knew and make him worse for no reason. So he just sat there holding the small man for a while longer. He gently began rocking back and forth.
In this position most people would remember when their mother used to rock them when they were young. But Vegeta had never had this done to him by anyone before. Having it done now made him badly wish that he had. 'Is this a little taste of what it feels like to be loved?' Vegeta was thinking to himself while Goku continued back and forth. 'If it is then I would really want to feel more. This is so soothing.' Vegeta's crying was going down. He was feeling a little tired now. Most of the blood on his back was done dripping by now. But some clear liquid was still in every single wound right now. Goku was still rocking him back and forth and stroking his hair. Vegeta let his eyes close and he just lay there enjoying the comfort that he was feeling.
Never in his life did Vegeta think he would feel so safe in someone's arms. He never even thought he would ever be held by anyone. Of course he had been hugged before. Even by someone that he was married to before. But Bulma's hugs never really affected Vegeta. She just didn't do it for him. Nobody ever did. To his surprise, this seemed to be doing a lot for him though. It comforted him, made him feel safe, made him feel wanted and loved, and it made him feel very good. He got that warm tingly feeling inside. He wasn't really accustomed to this feeling, but he liked it anyway.
He let all of these new feelings sink in and flow all around him while Goku was cradling him. Goku was looking down at him wondering if he was sleeping. Now Vegeta's sobs were completely stopped. He was only moving enough to show that he was breathing. Goku felt Vegeta's rise and falls in breath and was glad that he was even alive after what he almost did that night in this very room. Goku looked around the room in remembrance of the other night. He saw the images of the needle and Vegeta's body walking over to him in the bed. He saw Vegeta fall again and saw himself catch him. He shook his head ridding it of the scene that was replaying. The computer screen was turned off at the moment. The only way that there was any way to see at all was that same light from the stars and moon. It was only 3:10 in the morning. So the sun wouldn't come out just yet.
Right at that moment, Goku wished the sun would never come up again. Any little excuse for him to hold Vegeta for as long as he could made him happy. Finally, Vegeta raised his head and looked at Goku. Vegeta's own tears were gone and not evident at all because they had wiped away on Goku's shirt. The only evidence that he cried at all were his puffy, red eyes. Goku looked down at Vegeta's soft face. Vegeta noticed then that he didn't want Goku to see his soft side. He didn't even want to have a soft side. "Let me go Kakkarott this is stupid!" Vegeta blurted out and ruined the moment. Vegeta struggled out of Goku's arms and Goku didn't try to stop him. When Vegeta was out of Goku's hold he sat on the bed beside Goku. Goku turned his body to face Vegeta and curled one leg placing his foot beside the inside thigh of his other leg and let that other leg hang off the edge of the bed. Vegeta sat with both legs folded under him.
Goku knew that Vegeta was just trying to hide his emotions again. So he didn't feel too hurt when Vegeta had his little outburst. But he did wish that he could've held him longer. But now it was time to get to the point. He had after all said that he wanted to talk to Vegeta. "Now it's your turn to talk. You said that you regretted ever meeting me because then you wouldn't have to talk to me so badly later. Well, it's later now and you have to talk. What is it that is so important that you have to talk to me about?" Vegeta questioned Goku knowing that he would get an answer. Goku forgot all about saying that and now couldn't imagine answering truthfully to Vegeta. The thing he wanted to say was far too intense and it would probably make Vegeta feel even worse than he did now. So, Goku decided to be honest. "Well Vegeta, I would love to tell you, but I really don't want to make you feel worse than you already do. And I'm pretty sure this would make it a lot worse.
"In fact, you'd probably try to kill me and then leave and kill yourself." Vegeta hadn't imagined that it would be anything that serious. He didn't even think it would be bad at all. But just as anyone else would be, he was more interested in hearing it now. It's one of those things that when someone tells you that you really don't want to know, you say that you really do, then it turns out that you didn't want to and you would rather die than live with that knowledge. Well, at least that's what Goku thought at the time. "Well, you didn't give me sympathy when you saw that I didn't want to talk. I still had to talk, so do you. So just tell me now and get it over with. I'm actually feeling better now that my turn is done." Really he was only feeling better by now because Goku had held him like that.
"Okay, but you'll probably hate me and never want to see my face again. You'll probably kill me so you don't have to live in the same universe as me. But, since you are so demanding to hear it, then here it goes. You see, I don't think of you the way that other people do." Goku was going to try to just hint at it instead of actually saying it. Maybe that would make Vegeta a little less mad when he found out. "Notice that I didn't even ask you to promise not to do anything. Because every time people do that it never helps anyway. So I'm not going to try to make you make a promise that you can't keep." Vegeta was getting irritated at Goku's meaningless babbling now. "Enough crap, just get to the point already. Stop stalling, I can tell you're holding back." Vegeta was being even more demanding than before now.
"Okay, like I just said, I think of you differently than other people do Vegeta. Except maybe Bulma, but I don't really know since I'm not her and I never talk to her." Vegeta thought for a few seconds and then came to a conclusion. "So, you're saying that you can see through my act of hiding emotions since you live with me and feel closer to me than other people that know me? And that Bulma might feel the same because she lived with me before too?" Bulma had decided to move out with the kids because she wanted them to live a more normal life than one that gave them everything. This life would do that for them since Vegeta was so rich. She also knew what a jerk he was and didn't want her kids to go through the same Hell that she did. "Well, that is true too. But that's not really what I'm trying to get at." Goku was glad that Vegeta didn't catch on yet. He didn't want to feel the heartbreak any sooner than he had to.
"Look, I don't fell like playing guessing games. Just say what you need to say. Do it now because my patience is growing very thin." Goku's last string of hope broke. He was going to have to do this. And he was going to have to do it now. "Well, I do feel closer to you. But I would like to be even closer than I am now. I would like to be as close as I feel. In reality I'm not as close as I feel because I don't think that you would accept." Vegeta thought that since he told him to get to the point, this was the point. "So you're saying that you want us to be best friends. You want it to be official. You want me to say it, to admit it." He wasn't questioning anymore. He was sure he had it figured out.
"You can forget it because as close as we are now, which is not close at all, is as close as we will ever be. The thought of being closer to you sickens me. So get that thought out of your head and get out. I'm going to get these. straps off and go to sleep." Goku knew that Vegeta was serious. He felt very ignorant for ever thinking that Vegeta and he could ever possibly be mates. The small fact that they were both the only full-blooded sayjins left didn't mean anything to Vegeta. But even if Vegeta were human, Goku would still want to be with him. He just thought that Vegeta would want to be with him maybe since he couldn't ever feel as close to a human. Vegeta always did despise humans after all.
He decided against telling him that his guess was wrong once again, and tell him the truth. He just gave up and acted like he was right. "Okay Vegeta, I was just wondering if we could ever be closer. I'm sorry for thinking such a stupid thing. I really don't know what I was thinking. Now that I think of it, you're right, we will never be close." 'And that really, really hurts. And it really sucks too.' Goku finished the statement to himself in his head. He said good night without a reply from Vegeta and walked out of the room closing the door behind him. Vegeta stared at the door for a long time before stripping out of his outfit. 'Why did I say that? That was so stupid of me. I really do want us to be closer. I feel your need Kakkarott. I know how you feel. Except I feel for you much stronger than you feel for me. If only you would've hinted to me that you liked me in the same way. Then I would've agreed, but you only want me as a best friend. I wouldn't be able to take that and nothing more.' Vegeta thought about his stupid mistake and pulled his red velvet covers down.
'But it was so stupid of me to just refuse the offer you just made. At least then I could be a little closer to you than I am now. I'm such a fool, I can't just take what's good, I can only accept the best. That makes me such an idiot. And I'm always calling you the idiot. Although what I really think of you is much greater than that. If only you knew, if only I could tell you. If only you felt the same way.' Vegeta kept thinking about what he had just refused and then resolved it by telling himself that he would simply take his answer back in the morning and hope that the offer still stood. Neither of them got out their true feelings, and neither of them was going to sleep well tonight. 'I wish I were under the same covers as you Vegeta. I wish I could hold you close and press our bodies together while we sleep. I want so badly to cuddle with you, no, I need so badly to do it. Why do you dislike me so much? What did I do wrong?'
Goku decided that he would do something about it in the morning. He was going to try to get rid of Vegeta's dislike for him. He wanted to do it by making a move on him earlier, but now that would only make things worse. His new plan was to start doing a lot of nice things for Vegeta now to make him like him more. With that thought in his head, it gave him what little hope he had lost a few minutes ago. And with Vegeta's thoughts of taking back what he said and getting closer to Goku in the morning, he went to sleep a lot easier than he thought he would before. Goku did the same; both of their minds were at a little more peace now. And maybe. just maybe, if he and Vegeta did get closer, Goku would make sure to make Vegeta never think about his twisted past again.
There you go! Please review, next chapter is coming, it will come quicker I promise, I'm working on it right now! Don't forget to leave your e-mail address with your review, please, but if you don't I'll take the hint and leave you alone (.
I would also like to tell Timba that I will be mentioning the piercing again. I'm glad u like them, so do I.
Anyone who reviews any of my chapters please leave your e-mail addy. Thx. Now enjoy the third chapter. I stayed awake way too long to do it because I kept getting interrupted with phone calls.
Secrets Revealed
Chapter Three: "Twisted Past"
Vegeta pulled into the garage and turned off the car. Goku sat still for a moment and didn't even undo his seatbelt. Vegeta looked over at him as he opened his door. He noticed that Goku's face was still at a blushing state. Vegeta didn't really feel bad about it, he actually felt rather flattered and confused about it at the same time. 'If anything I thought Kakkarott would hate it there. Never did I imagine that after what he just encountered that he would be blushing. But then again I should've guessed the blush would come since he was rather aroused at the time. I just never thought he'd even get aroused about it in the first place.' Vegeta was thinking to himself and then noticed he was staring at Goku and Goku was staring right back. Goku was lost in the depths of Vegeta's eyes just as Vegeta was realizing he was even looking at him.
Vegeta couldn't help but notice Goku's eyes lower to look down the sitting length of Vegeta's body. Vegeta then felt his own cheeks redden. When Goku slowly brought his eyes back up to Vegeta's face and saw the color it created a small smile on Goku's face. 'Hmmm maybe this means I can get revenge with him for him making me feel so embarrassed.' Goku thought. 'And all I'm doing right now is looking at him.' He turned his head down to his seatbelt to undo it as he thought of the possibilities. He stopped thinking because he didn't want to make his face grow back to the shade that it was before. Right now he just needed to work on getting it to reduce back down to its normal peachy color.
At the same time, Goku and Vegeta both opened their doors and got out. Since it was Vegeta's house, Goku let Vegeta walk in front of him to open the door that led into the house from inside of the garage. He felt stupid for letting him go first because now he had to look at his small tight ass while he walked ahead of him. He did like it, but if Vegeta were in his position it might help him get even more revenge. Goku started to think of it as more than revenge. He actually wanted to see if he could make the Prince blush more. He wanted to push him as far as he could until Vegeta couldn't take it and tried to ravish him. Goku smiled at the image in his head of Vegeta being forceful in that way with him. Again, he had to clear away the thought before his face said that it was too late.
Vegeta unlocked the door and hung his keys on a hook just inside of the door. Goku came in behind him and closed it. "Make sure you lock the door back up Kakkarott." Vegeta demanded. Goku turned and locked the door. As he was locking it, Vegeta used it as an excuse to examine Goku's body from behind. When Goku turned back around, Vegeta was too slow to remove his eyes from his backside. Goku quickly turned his head to hide any blushing that might come up. When he noticed that his face still felt cool and not hot, he turned his head back to Vegeta. It was way too silent for either of them to stand. The silence just made the tension grow more.
Silence has its ways of saying lots of things in so little time. And right now it was saying that both of the men were rather interested in looking at each other in new ways right now. Well, secretly, not all new ways for Goku. He had looked at him like this for a long time. 'Has Vegeta ever looked at me like this before without me noticing? Has he ever watched me sleep like I have him?' Goku knew that there was only one way to get his many questions answered. He wondered if he'd be able to detect it if Vegeta lied to him with his answers. Guess he'd find out soon enough. Or maybe it wouldn't be soon enough. After all, they still had to talk about other things; things that Vegeta would rather not talk about.
Vegeta walked into one of the many living rooms in the house and sat down on one end of the couch. Without invitation, Goku sat on the other end of the same black couch. He dropped his gaze to the floor and waited for Vegeta to say something first. After about three minutes of silence, Goku spoke first. "So, you said something about your past, and something about how it has to do with your new job. What is it?" Vegeta knew he wouldn't forget it and let it go. So he decided to talk and get it over with. Goku saw this as a way to let them get closer to each other. Not physically, but emotionally, just a way to get to know each other more. Vegeta looked at Goku and Goku sensed it and brought his own eyes to Vegeta's.
'Please see the pain in my eyes and tell me that I don't have to tell you.' Vegeta thought. Goku did see the emotion in his eyes, but that made him want to know even more. "Vegeta, I know this might be somewhat of a touchy subject for you, but I would really like to know. I want to know something about your past. After all, I do live with you. And I think that each other is all we really have right now. Even if you do have the people you work with, you can't really consider them friends. I have other friends, but I wouldn't ever be able to share every detail of my past with them. Well, that is if I had much of a past. I mean if I were in your position I wouldn't be able to tell all of them." Vegeta really thought about what Goku was saying to him.
With a sigh, Vegeta's lips parted to speak. "Okay, we'll take it from the beginning then. I told you that I regretted working where I work now, and the only reason that I do is because of a bad past with this stuff. Well, when I was very young, I'd say about eight years old, you were new on my planet. You were just a baby. Of course your power level was pathetic. My dad was King of all sayjins and I was Prince of the race. Then along came that stupid lizard. That ugly freak that called himself Fr. fr. Oh, it's no use, I can't even say his name, it. scares me too much. I mean . it makes me sick. Anyway, that sick being decided that he wanted to take over. My dad could've beat him, but not with all of the men that he had. His army surpassed ours.
"So, my father simply let him take over. He gave him the reigns. He put up no fight except for maybe a couple of arguments. My dad got sick of it and left. He was going to take me with him, but the 'new ruler' forbid it. He made me stay with him. He told my father that it was because he needed my power. So, my dad just up and left me just like that, sad but true. Well, what he told my father was a very big lie. He did use my power, but he had enough power with him and his goons that he didn't really need mine though. That wasn't the real reason that he wanted to keep me at all. He used me to satisfy other needs of his. His pleasurable needs were what he wanted from me. And, being anyone in their right mind, I refused. The first time he asked something of me, I yelled at him for even thinking that I would ever do anything with him.
"Well, willingly I wouldn't, but by force anybody would have to. Unless they were stronger than him, which I was not." Vegeta's eyes went down to the floor because he couldn't bear looking into someone's eyes as he told something this hurtful to them. Goku noticed this and tried to comfort him. "It's okay Vegeta. It's all over now. I don't need you to give me every detail, in fact, I would like it if you would leave the details out." Vegeta felt relieved hearing that. It would be much easier without the details. "Thank you Kakkarott." Goku wouldn't have been able to believe that Vegeta actually thanked anyone for anything, but right now he could.
"Yeah, he forced me to do things that I would never do out of my own want. His men just laughed it off. Not in front of him they didn't, but they laughed at me, which made it worse. Having to do it is one thing, having people know and make fun of you for it is another. But not only was I forced to do things to him; he did things to me also. And every time that it ended, I would go throw up. I spilled my guts every single day and night. I was not fed anything but small portions of his leftovers from him and his men. I think that maybe that has something to do with why I'm so short and small. I do hate being in this shape, but I can't fix it now." Goku thought of how much he loved Vegeta's shape and smallness. "It's okay Vegeta, you look really good like that." He interrupted. He didn't mean to put so much emphasis on the really good part. But there was no sense in trying to take it back now. It'd only make him look worse.
Vegeta let his mouth drop just a bit at hearing that compliment coming from Goku. Then he closed it back up and tried to forget about it. 'He was probably just trying to comfort me.' Vegeta thought reassuringly to himself. "This went on for years and years and years. I thought it would never stop. If he could've helped it then it would've never stopped. But thanks to my escaping when I was a man and his death later on it did. While I was there, I was more than just his personal slave for in a bedroom. I was a sight for all to see. I was made to dance like I do now. I had to perform things like I do now in front of him and his higher-class men. There were never any women there either. So now you probably wonder why I'd go back to doing that now since I hated it so much then. Well, I do it now because I feel that that is the only reason that I was put on this earth. I was only born so I could pleasure other people. My soul purpose is to be a pleasure slave to anyone who wants it. I am of no use in any other way.
"So I might as well do what God has intended me to do in life. While I was there I was whipped and badly abused. Just like I am now by Brolly. At least the people that I have to touch now are not gross looking or anything. Thank God for at least granting me that. Granting me life was the wrong thing to do. I would rather be dead than do this; the only reason that I don't kill myself is because that would be very weak. It's just running away from your problems. The other reason is because I fear that I will meet up with 'him' in Hell again. I mean I know that even if I don't kill myself I am going to Hell. But at least I can make this sad life last a little longer than that. I would like to delay my death as much as possible for only that reason." Goku had tears in his eyes by now. They were already running down his cheeks and more threatened to fall. He was at least able to hold his sobbing sounds inside though.
"Well, that about sums it up Kakkarott. That is why I do what I do. That is why I am where I am. That is why I live like I live. That is why I cry every single night. Just cry myself to sleep even when I'm not tired because the crying exhausts me. I hope that you got the information that you wanted. I hope you are satisfied with the answers to my life." Vegeta shot up in a second and stormed upstairs into his bedroom. Goku felt the guiltiest that he's ever felt in his entire life right now. He made Vegeta bring out the things that he feared. Goku thought he would never forgive himself for this.
After debating with himself about what to do, Goku got up and went to the room that Vegeta just slammed the door to. Goku knew that Vegeta was crying. With his good hearing for being a sayjin, he could hear the fragile man sobbing. He knocked lightly on the door. 'I knew he'd come knocking! Why can't he just leave me alone? He's already done enough for tonight!' "You've done enough for tonight Kakkarott! Leave me alone now!" Goku felt like dying right then and there. But there was no way he was taking the chances of leaving Vegeta alone right now. "Vegeta, I'm so sorry. Really, you'll never know how sorry I am. Please let me in. I need to talk to you. I promise I won't ask you anymore about your life. I swear I just need to talk to you. You don't even have to say anything to me. Please, please, please, pl.." Goku started crying just as Vegeta was now. He couldn't even speak anymore. He slid down to the floor leaning against the door.
Vegeta couldn't resist Goku's sad begging at his door. But he wasn't going to give in and open the door either. Goku took in a deep breath and stood up. He didn't even bother wiping away the hot streams running down the sides of his face. He hoped that the door wasn't locked, and to his surprise it wasn't. He thrust the door open and then shut it behind him. He walked over to the bed that Vegeta was laying on. He saw Vegeta's face buried in the pillow. He saw his small shoulders shaking violently. Goku sat down on the bed right beside him.
Since Vegeta was so much smaller than Goku and Goku had sayjin strength, he lifted Vegeta's trembling body and cradled him in his lap. He pressed Vegeta's head against his chest just below his shoulder and started rubbing his hair with one hand as he supported Vegeta's back with the other. 'This poor thing sure had a twisted past.' Goku thought but didn't dare say it out loud. He didn't want to say something that Vegeta already knew and make him worse for no reason. So he just sat there holding the small man for a while longer. He gently began rocking back and forth.
In this position most people would remember when their mother used to rock them when they were young. But Vegeta had never had this done to him by anyone before. Having it done now made him badly wish that he had. 'Is this a little taste of what it feels like to be loved?' Vegeta was thinking to himself while Goku continued back and forth. 'If it is then I would really want to feel more. This is so soothing.' Vegeta's crying was going down. He was feeling a little tired now. Most of the blood on his back was done dripping by now. But some clear liquid was still in every single wound right now. Goku was still rocking him back and forth and stroking his hair. Vegeta let his eyes close and he just lay there enjoying the comfort that he was feeling.
Never in his life did Vegeta think he would feel so safe in someone's arms. He never even thought he would ever be held by anyone. Of course he had been hugged before. Even by someone that he was married to before. But Bulma's hugs never really affected Vegeta. She just didn't do it for him. Nobody ever did. To his surprise, this seemed to be doing a lot for him though. It comforted him, made him feel safe, made him feel wanted and loved, and it made him feel very good. He got that warm tingly feeling inside. He wasn't really accustomed to this feeling, but he liked it anyway.
He let all of these new feelings sink in and flow all around him while Goku was cradling him. Goku was looking down at him wondering if he was sleeping. Now Vegeta's sobs were completely stopped. He was only moving enough to show that he was breathing. Goku felt Vegeta's rise and falls in breath and was glad that he was even alive after what he almost did that night in this very room. Goku looked around the room in remembrance of the other night. He saw the images of the needle and Vegeta's body walking over to him in the bed. He saw Vegeta fall again and saw himself catch him. He shook his head ridding it of the scene that was replaying. The computer screen was turned off at the moment. The only way that there was any way to see at all was that same light from the stars and moon. It was only 3:10 in the morning. So the sun wouldn't come out just yet.
Right at that moment, Goku wished the sun would never come up again. Any little excuse for him to hold Vegeta for as long as he could made him happy. Finally, Vegeta raised his head and looked at Goku. Vegeta's own tears were gone and not evident at all because they had wiped away on Goku's shirt. The only evidence that he cried at all were his puffy, red eyes. Goku looked down at Vegeta's soft face. Vegeta noticed then that he didn't want Goku to see his soft side. He didn't even want to have a soft side. "Let me go Kakkarott this is stupid!" Vegeta blurted out and ruined the moment. Vegeta struggled out of Goku's arms and Goku didn't try to stop him. When Vegeta was out of Goku's hold he sat on the bed beside Goku. Goku turned his body to face Vegeta and curled one leg placing his foot beside the inside thigh of his other leg and let that other leg hang off the edge of the bed. Vegeta sat with both legs folded under him.
Goku knew that Vegeta was just trying to hide his emotions again. So he didn't feel too hurt when Vegeta had his little outburst. But he did wish that he could've held him longer. But now it was time to get to the point. He had after all said that he wanted to talk to Vegeta. "Now it's your turn to talk. You said that you regretted ever meeting me because then you wouldn't have to talk to me so badly later. Well, it's later now and you have to talk. What is it that is so important that you have to talk to me about?" Vegeta questioned Goku knowing that he would get an answer. Goku forgot all about saying that and now couldn't imagine answering truthfully to Vegeta. The thing he wanted to say was far too intense and it would probably make Vegeta feel even worse than he did now. So, Goku decided to be honest. "Well Vegeta, I would love to tell you, but I really don't want to make you feel worse than you already do. And I'm pretty sure this would make it a lot worse.
"In fact, you'd probably try to kill me and then leave and kill yourself." Vegeta hadn't imagined that it would be anything that serious. He didn't even think it would be bad at all. But just as anyone else would be, he was more interested in hearing it now. It's one of those things that when someone tells you that you really don't want to know, you say that you really do, then it turns out that you didn't want to and you would rather die than live with that knowledge. Well, at least that's what Goku thought at the time. "Well, you didn't give me sympathy when you saw that I didn't want to talk. I still had to talk, so do you. So just tell me now and get it over with. I'm actually feeling better now that my turn is done." Really he was only feeling better by now because Goku had held him like that.
"Okay, but you'll probably hate me and never want to see my face again. You'll probably kill me so you don't have to live in the same universe as me. But, since you are so demanding to hear it, then here it goes. You see, I don't think of you the way that other people do." Goku was going to try to just hint at it instead of actually saying it. Maybe that would make Vegeta a little less mad when he found out. "Notice that I didn't even ask you to promise not to do anything. Because every time people do that it never helps anyway. So I'm not going to try to make you make a promise that you can't keep." Vegeta was getting irritated at Goku's meaningless babbling now. "Enough crap, just get to the point already. Stop stalling, I can tell you're holding back." Vegeta was being even more demanding than before now.
"Okay, like I just said, I think of you differently than other people do Vegeta. Except maybe Bulma, but I don't really know since I'm not her and I never talk to her." Vegeta thought for a few seconds and then came to a conclusion. "So, you're saying that you can see through my act of hiding emotions since you live with me and feel closer to me than other people that know me? And that Bulma might feel the same because she lived with me before too?" Bulma had decided to move out with the kids because she wanted them to live a more normal life than one that gave them everything. This life would do that for them since Vegeta was so rich. She also knew what a jerk he was and didn't want her kids to go through the same Hell that she did. "Well, that is true too. But that's not really what I'm trying to get at." Goku was glad that Vegeta didn't catch on yet. He didn't want to feel the heartbreak any sooner than he had to.
"Look, I don't fell like playing guessing games. Just say what you need to say. Do it now because my patience is growing very thin." Goku's last string of hope broke. He was going to have to do this. And he was going to have to do it now. "Well, I do feel closer to you. But I would like to be even closer than I am now. I would like to be as close as I feel. In reality I'm not as close as I feel because I don't think that you would accept." Vegeta thought that since he told him to get to the point, this was the point. "So you're saying that you want us to be best friends. You want it to be official. You want me to say it, to admit it." He wasn't questioning anymore. He was sure he had it figured out.
"You can forget it because as close as we are now, which is not close at all, is as close as we will ever be. The thought of being closer to you sickens me. So get that thought out of your head and get out. I'm going to get these. straps off and go to sleep." Goku knew that Vegeta was serious. He felt very ignorant for ever thinking that Vegeta and he could ever possibly be mates. The small fact that they were both the only full-blooded sayjins left didn't mean anything to Vegeta. But even if Vegeta were human, Goku would still want to be with him. He just thought that Vegeta would want to be with him maybe since he couldn't ever feel as close to a human. Vegeta always did despise humans after all.
He decided against telling him that his guess was wrong once again, and tell him the truth. He just gave up and acted like he was right. "Okay Vegeta, I was just wondering if we could ever be closer. I'm sorry for thinking such a stupid thing. I really don't know what I was thinking. Now that I think of it, you're right, we will never be close." 'And that really, really hurts. And it really sucks too.' Goku finished the statement to himself in his head. He said good night without a reply from Vegeta and walked out of the room closing the door behind him. Vegeta stared at the door for a long time before stripping out of his outfit. 'Why did I say that? That was so stupid of me. I really do want us to be closer. I feel your need Kakkarott. I know how you feel. Except I feel for you much stronger than you feel for me. If only you would've hinted to me that you liked me in the same way. Then I would've agreed, but you only want me as a best friend. I wouldn't be able to take that and nothing more.' Vegeta thought about his stupid mistake and pulled his red velvet covers down.
'But it was so stupid of me to just refuse the offer you just made. At least then I could be a little closer to you than I am now. I'm such a fool, I can't just take what's good, I can only accept the best. That makes me such an idiot. And I'm always calling you the idiot. Although what I really think of you is much greater than that. If only you knew, if only I could tell you. If only you felt the same way.' Vegeta kept thinking about what he had just refused and then resolved it by telling himself that he would simply take his answer back in the morning and hope that the offer still stood. Neither of them got out their true feelings, and neither of them was going to sleep well tonight. 'I wish I were under the same covers as you Vegeta. I wish I could hold you close and press our bodies together while we sleep. I want so badly to cuddle with you, no, I need so badly to do it. Why do you dislike me so much? What did I do wrong?'
Goku decided that he would do something about it in the morning. He was going to try to get rid of Vegeta's dislike for him. He wanted to do it by making a move on him earlier, but now that would only make things worse. His new plan was to start doing a lot of nice things for Vegeta now to make him like him more. With that thought in his head, it gave him what little hope he had lost a few minutes ago. And with Vegeta's thoughts of taking back what he said and getting closer to Goku in the morning, he went to sleep a lot easier than he thought he would before. Goku did the same; both of their minds were at a little more peace now. And maybe. just maybe, if he and Vegeta did get closer, Goku would make sure to make Vegeta never think about his twisted past again.
There you go! Please review, next chapter is coming, it will come quicker I promise, I'm working on it right now! Don't forget to leave your e-mail address with your review, please, but if you don't I'll take the hint and leave you alone (.