All In My Head

by ercarterfan

Abby, Carter, Africa...what if season 10 was different can love overcome the time and space of Africa. Redid the story to make it more readable and to catch mistakes that were in there.

10. Once upon a time

Chapter 10: Once Upon A time.

There was an awkward silence now growing between us. I didn't know if I should say something to her or not. There was a hint of pain in here eyes now. I didn't know if she was waiting for me to say something to what she had just told me, or if there was something more that was coming as soon as she found the words to say it.

Maybe I had rushed things telling her that I still loved her. She might now have been ready to hear that from me right now. Hell it might have been the last thing that she wanted to hear from me. Panic filled my heart as I started to wonder if there was someone back in Chicago now that she was seeing and that she was here for some other reason that to see me. Oh of course I was a fool to think that she was here just to see me. She would have to be nuts to risk her life in this war torn hell hole just to see me.

I could feel my checks starting to flush. "Abby look I didn't expect you to change for me. That was something that I always knew that you would do for yourself when you were ready to. But I'm sure that everyone is proud of you. I know that I am and you must be too." I said not bringing my eyes up to meet hers anymore.

I wanted to go on. I felt that I needed to go on, but the words that I needed to say were now stuck viciously in my throat. I could feel my eyes start to sting. I was holding back, or rather trying to hard to hold back. I didn't want to overload her, or worse scare her away from me for good.

The more that I thought about it, the more it became clear that were once upon a time, Carter and Abby a fairy tale and now that fairytale had come crashing to an end. Not a happy ending but not a tragic ending either. Maybe I should just put us out of our misery and cut our losses but then I really in my heart didn't want to do that. And since we were sitting here talking I didn't think that she wanted that either.

I watched Kem crossing the courtyard from a distance. It didn't appear that she saw me and maybe that was a good thing. Her coming over here right now was the last thing that I needed. I had to admit to myself that I used her, but I didn't think that I could admit that to her.

"Abby honey," I said looking now right at her. "Tell me what is bothering you. I want to be open with you and I want you to be open with me. Trust me there is nothing that you could say to me that would change the way that I feel about you."