All In My Head

by ercarterfan

Abby, Carter, Africa...what if season 10 was different can love overcome the time and space of Africa. Redid the story to make it more readable and to catch mistakes that were in there.

15. Swallowing my pride

Chapter 15: Swallowing my pride

I turned away from him and started to walk away. Tears stung at my eyes as I willed them not to fall. Deep inside my heart, I knew that this was just a feeble attempt to keep me at a distance. However, it still hurt nonetheless and I was not going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that much.

I walked into my room shutting the door behind me. I knew that doing that would do nothing but increase the gap that was forming between us. Nevertheless, I also knew that it was wrong of me to think that we could have picked up the pieces of our shattered lives and go on as if none of it had happened.

I lie down on the bed and let the tears slowly start to fall. Here no one could see me, here no one could hear me and I could let me heart flow. Let the pain and hurt silently escape. Sleep did not come easily to me that night but eventually I did managed to get there. The next day was going to be long and hard I knew that. The rest of the week would probably be the same way. We might never be able to get past what was no between us, but that did not mean that I was going to give up. I thought that maybe if I gave Carter some time that he would eventually come around and realize what I had when he was gone. After all, he was not going to be able to avoid me the entire time I was here and we would have to talk to each other sometime.

The sun streamed into my sleeping quarters the next morning. The night was too short and as I dressed, I could not help but think of all the people that were going to need my help. That would take my mind off Carter at least for a little while. Maybe long enough that some of the hurt and pain would ease some.

I went and grabbed a quick bite before heading into the hospital admitting area where I would spend most of my day triaging patients, sorting thru the various aliments that they had and deciding who I could treat and who I needed to admit. Lunchtime came and went and still I had not seen Carter at all. He must have been up on one of the wards as far away from me as he could get, but that did not bother me in the least. There were too just too many other people; all of those people I was trying to help. It was only when I had sat down that he crossed my mind. I was not entirely sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing but nonetheless it was what was happening.