The Secret Diaries of Voldemort, Chapter Two
Day 13 – Squirrel taught his first class today. Ah, my little host is growing up! This is slightly depressing; I think I am becoming a bit asttached to Squirrel.
P.S. One of the kids in class was Lucius's son, Draco. He has a nice ass!
Evil Meter: 98%
Day 78 – Made Squirrel let a troll into the dungeons. It was quite funny until some poor kid with red hair knocked him out with his own club. I have to remember to ask for a troll with a brain next time.
Evil Meter: 87%
Day 120 – Watched a Quidditch game between Slytherin and Gryffindor. Squirrel started putting a curse on Harry's broom and then Snape (!!!) started the counter curse! When I am resurrected he is gonna be sooooooo dead.
Evil Meter: 76%
Day 139 – Snape is gonna be killed like whoa. Not only is he a traitor but a perv too! He tried to "make moves" on me when he was threatening me/Squirrel in the forest. Why doesn't he go fuck a student or something?
Evil Meter: 65% (I'm freaked out like whoa)
Day 156 – Went to library to research how to resurrect things.
Evil Meter: 99%
Day 157 – Unicorn's blood, oOoh!
Evil Meter: 87%
Day 168 – Made Squirrel go to Forbidden Forest to kill a unicorn. I swear, he must have
attracted them better then girls when he was in school. Slightly disturbing when you look at it.
Evil Meter: 100%
Day 190 – Found a porno mag in the hallway! Score!
Day 192 – Went out for some unicorn's blood and ended up bumping into Harry Potter
trying to pull some moves on Draco Malfoy. Almost killed him but then the Rescuer That Always Appears To Save the Hero Before the Climax appeared. Darn.
Day 215 – Squirrel was "playing" with the Squid. He sickens me.
Day 245 – OoOoh a Sorcerer's Stone! Sounds fun, I'm going to get it.
Day 246 – Devil's Snare: Check. Key Room: Check. Chess Set: Check. Logic Puzzle: Check (Snape is so predictable!) Mirror: Not Check. Reincarnation: Not check. Potter Dead: Not Check. Pulling a
Jesus is harder then it seems. Hmph. And I'm still disembodied, damnit.
Evil Meter: 13%