"What the *fuck* is going on?" Snape walked through his classroom, not bothering to mask his anger.

Hermione simply looked down at her hands. She was one of the few people who had managed to find a seat.

"Miss Granger, answer me! This is your doing!" He folded his arms above her seat and waited for an answer.

"Well, Professor, they were all breaking the school rules." She tried to make herself seem as small and terrified as possible. It didn't help that Slytherins, who had hardly done anything wrong when she assigned them detentions, surrounded her.

"And I suppose you thought it was funny, didn't you? To hand out detentions like a madwoman!" His anger was beginning to get to him, though, as his head was pounding in an intense migraine.

"No sir… I thought you'd be, " A pause as she mustered up whatever true feeling of fear that she might have had, "pleased."

He considered what to do, what with all these students in a single room. It looked as if Hermione had assigned detentions to half of Slytherin house. She was the only Gryffindor.

"Very well, I'll split you all up into two groups. Slytherins, you are to go into the trophy room and polish anything shiny. Gryffindors," He released a malicious smile, "Clean out and relabel the entire potions cabinet. Oh, and wash the cauldrons from yesterday's assignment."

Hermione opened her mouth in a silent expression of shock. She was going to clean out the entire potions cabinet. By herself. AND she was going to wash the cauldrons from yesterday's assignment. By herself. This, she realized, was going to take her the better part of the night.

She saw the Slytherins, snickering though they were, retreating from the classroom.

"Crap" she said, under her breath.

"What was that, Miss Granger?"

"Crap" she repeated, louder; she was obviously challenging him.

"Oh, I thought it might be something derogatory toward me. Very well, resume your task." He replied crisply, evidently not at all shocked by her words.

She gave up. "Yes, sir."

And on the night went, with her organizing and relabeling the entire potions cabinet. She saw out the corner of her eye, though, that he was brewing his own potion. It had a pugnacious smell, and she eventually found herself cringing at it. He was obviously brewing it to annoy her, or so her warped mind convinced her.

"Professor, is that really necessary?" She asked, annoyed.

"Mind your own business, do not purport to ask me, your superior, if anything is necessary. Get back to work." It was brutal, but he was in the mind to hurt some feelings. He was good at it, after all.

She was too shocked for words, so she kept quiet for the next hour, tolerating the horrible smell.

He seemed to be concentrating very hard on the potion though, more than was normal - especially in front of a Gryffindor. Finally, she mustered up enough courage just to outright ask him, even if she was scared of reprisal.

"What is it you're brewing?" She managed a small but clear voice.

"Temporary relief," He smiled at her, "In a bottle."

~~~~~~~

"I think so." Draco smiled languidly.

"Well then, would it be impossible for me to play Juliet." Pansy was being very insistent on this fact; probably because she thought somebody else would try to steal her spotlight.

"Of course, Pansy. You know there's only one person for that." He glared at her; he knew what she was trying to do, "And if you don't mind, I'm going to sleep."

She stared after him, measuring him. 'Damn it' Hell would freeze over before he noticed her. That wouldn't stop her from auditioning anyway.

Draco took the stairs up to the boy's dormitory two at a time. He had no intention of going to sleep, of course, as he had a certain after-dark visit to make.

When he reached his room, he kicked open his trunk and began digging at the bottom of it. He found it though, his invisibility cloak. After he'd found out that Harry had one, he had pleaded with his father until he got his own. He couldn't let Harry get the better of him, after all.

He placed it over his shoulders and began fastening the ties. He made sure that his invisibility cloak was better than Harry's to boot. After smoothing down the cold, silky material of the cloak, he pulled the hood over his head and headed out back to the common room. He could see Pansy conversing with some other Slytherin girls whom he didn't care to identify, and turned his head back around to the opening of the common room. Luckily, curfew took place at about this time and several students were filtering in. As soon as he found an opening, Draco launched his body out and landed a foot lower on his feet.

He smiled to himself, bearing in mind that he was going to visit the famous (and beautiful… and sexy… and unbelievably wicked in the sack…well, he'd find that out soon enough, anyway) Harry Potter. It would be a fun night indeed.

He was distracted, though, by a light emitting from the supposedly empty Charms classroom. He was lucky, though, because he found Harry Potter crouched in a corner, poking at something.

"Having fun, Harry?" Draco said lightly, closing the door behind him.

"Malfoy! What are you doing in here?" He grabbed his wand from his pocket and threw something on the floor.

"What's that you've got there?" Draco didn't seem frightened in the least with the fact that he had a wand pointed at his head.

"None of your business. Answer my question." Harry glared daggers; he wasn't quite sure that he wanted Malfoy to answer him.

"Oh, you know why I'm here." He slowly advanced on Harry, sliding around the desks like a snake. "Must be fate that I found you."

"If you think for a second that I'm going to let you…let you…you…well, you're completely mistaken. Don't come any closer!" He was literally panicking now, he was cornered, and Draco did have his hand on his wand - the literal one. 'Oh don't think like that, damn it, this is a life or death situation!'

"Harry, what are you hiding from me? Come on, I wont tell anybody." Draco was coming increasingly closer, and Harry choked. He couldn't run now, he had to hide it…he had to hide it.

Before he knew it though, Draco was right in front of him, and trying to look behind Harry's shoulder…into the corner.

"I KNEW IT!" Draco practically screamed, in Harry's ear no less. He hugged Harry…hard. "I knew you'd want to play Juliet with me. Don't worry, I'll make sure you get the part!"

"Malfoy, are you sick? How could you possibly think…we're in competition, you…I'm going to play Romeo." He asserted, picking up the Shakespeare book from the corner and stuffing it in his robes.

"I could be your Juliet, then. You know how I can make you feel." At that point, Draco pushed his body into Harry's and cornered him against a wall. "Harry, Harry, don't fight it."

Harry nearly convulsed. He picked up his wand behind Draco and planted a strong 'Stupefy'…but of course at the last minute, Draco decided to kiss Harry and it hit the both of them.

They blacked out.

~~~~~~

Giggles. Why did he hear so much giggling? His head hurt. He moaned and opened his eyes, trying to determine where he was. Of course, lying under him was a very unconscious Draco Malfoy. He opened his eyes wider, and spun around, only to wake up the boy beneath him.

Harry realized that they were in the middle of a Sixth year Charms lesson…between Gryffindor and Slytherin. Harry looked around, through the masses of giggling and outright laughing students. He spotted Ginny, who oh so predictably had an eyebrow raised.

He looked back on the floor at Draco, and an incomprehensible rage went through him. Draco was just now getting up, and there would be no point in hexing him now, as that would only land him a detention.

Okay then, he turned over some ideas in his head.

"Draco, are you alright? We must have fallen asleep." Harry appeared generally concerned.

The blonde on the floor was, of course, much too shocked to answer. Harry held out a hand and he took it, albeit cautiously.

There were still giggles, and Draco was getting a big aggravated. Flitwick said nothing, just stared at the chain of events with a smile on his face.

Harry took the cue; he grabbed Draco's wrist and pulled him to the hallway. He was just about to scream his head off, but he recognized Hermione rushing towards them from the other end of the hallway.

He eyed Draco and cautiously backed off to meet Hermione. Draco would obviously have none of this. He leaned up and kissed Harry on the mouth before winking and whistling all the way back to his common room. Harry just gawked at him. Twice in a row, that disgusting maggot of a person kissed him.

"Hermione…we need to talk." He said when he was in speaking distance.

"Hmm, might it have anything to do with your baggy eyes and the fact that Malfoy just kissed you?" She pondered aloud.

"I'm going to cry."

"I don't blame you. Come on, let's go back to the common room where you can have a proper bawling." She led him by the arm. Luckily, neither of them had classes until after lunch. She'd need the time to de-traumatize one Very Disturbed Harry.

~~~~~~

By the time He'd gotten to the Great Hall for lunch, Luna Lovegood was already standing on top of the Ravenclaw table, bellowing out her lines for the part of the Nanny.

Life would never end…well, he did have that temporary alternative safely tucked away in his pocket.

No, of course, he couldn't use that until…until that day.

"Albus. I've come to a decision."

The entire table quickly quieted and listened for the headmaster's response.

"And what might that decision be?" He feigned ignorance.

"I've decided…that I'll play Paris." He looked levelly into the arrogantly twinkling eyes of the older man.

"Well, that's splendid. Of course, you were informed that you would play the nanny, weren't you?" He looked inquisitively at Minerva, and she, in turn, nodded graciously at him.

Severus blanched. He was so enraged that he was lost for words. The entire staff table suddenly broke out in laughter and Albus grinned at him.

"Oh, we were debating what your reaction would be. Of course Minerva's won again." Severus noticed that Minerva was being discreetly passed a surprisingly large number of wrapped bottles of God only knows what. "Don't worry, Severus. You'll get to play Paris."

He was, of course, relieved beyond reason, but he still clutched that bottle… the bottle that would make this nightmare go away.

Not yet…Not until Auditions.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ooh, I hope this chapter wasn't too bad. Thanks for stickin' with me folks. I haven't updated for a while because…well because I lost my dog, for one, and I just found him about three days ago. It was pretty remarkable, but it's been two months and I'm sorry for the lack of updates. I updated my other fic though, which is angsty and easier to write for in the case of depression. Well, I'm happy now, because I'm eating pizza and I found my dog. @.@

Shout outs you say? Or shootouts?

SiruisBlacksgirl4eva - Thanks and I'm sorry it took so long!

Ra-chan - lol, hope I didn't scar you for life.

Alexia - yes, isn't it? Oh, I love the good old days, full of snogging in corners and boy on boy sex. *sighs*

Lady_Black (teenfreak@antisocial.com) - thanks, sorry it took sooo long, I have an excuse!

GoldenSunnyGrl - Glad you like it, I love bravos, and sorry for the long time no update.

SnapDragonGrrl - Oh, the farting lightning bolts thing..*sighs* I don't know how I thought that up, it's kind of retarded..but so am I and so is my sense of humor.

Lazy - lol, romeo and Julius. @.@ that's cute. It is a snape fic, to some extent. I've got four main characters, and it's pretty much all inclusive. But don't worry, Snape gets a lot of action..in more ways than one. *wink* *cough*

lisa ambrose aka lord_snapes_lady - Thanks for the compliments and for the reviews, you rock!

Corazon - Ty! Can't believe I'm getting a review from one of my favorite writers! Have gotten lost from the fandom for two months though, so I don't really know what's going on anymore @.@

Max Kitten - Thanks, but I'm afraid it's taken a lot longer for me to update this chapter. Don't worry, I'll stick with it from now on ^_^

Artemis Moonclaw - Thanks for the support! I don't know, I'm not british so I'm going to try not making a fool out of myself by misquoting their slang lol, this way is just so much simpler. Snape/Hermione stories are fun too! Give them a try, some of them are kinky..dunno about mine lol tell me what you think

ConservativeAmericanTeen - I dunno, you might be surprised. Just keep reading and you'll see. *grin*

Piggie - thanks, dunno about the potion, hmm…it's a mystery bua ha ha ha ha

KET - thanks! I'm surprised nobody else has thought of it….or maybe they have and I'm copying…ooh scary, don't want to think about it. Don't tell me about one though, cause then I'll just get paranoid.

dama-de-tinieblas - thanks, I'm amused when I write it too…you just can't help it, you know?

Merry the Psychotic Coconut - thanks for the compliments. It's reviews like yours that make my day, lol. Slash can be fun, give it a try ^_^

Cool - Cool.

Person (vandtjen@juno.com) - thanks! I'll write my heart out.

Piper Sargasso - sorry I haven't updated in a while. Hopefully, it's still fun @.@

SeverreLeeSalacious - I am the *biggest* simpsons fan! It's ridiculous, I try to incorporate the simpsons in everything I do. Freaky, isn't it? And yes, the simpsons was my inspiration for the chapter titles. I dunno, maybe I'll do that for all of them, *giggle*

Me - thanks! I love this feedback! Makes me happy, makes me hurt my back *sings*

LadyPeregrine (lightning6789@sbcglobal.net) - Thanks! Yeah, I hope the writer's block has gone away, stressful with it looming over my head like that. The potion is a mystery, Hermione's hair is bodacious, and I can't wait to see what happens next either… hmm, maybe I should *write* what happens next. Good Idea, I'll go do that. lol