Disclaimer: I do not own LotR, sadly. Please do not flame me for mixing
book and movie verse . . . When I do. This chapter was all a creation from
my twisted mind. Thank ye. And enjoy!
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I pace back and forth, armor, I need armor of course. But not enough to be noticeable, I don't want the elves to think me cowardly. I blink and bristle slightly, "Well what does it matter what THEY think?" that cheers me immeasurably and I slip on a light coat of chain mail. I belt it securely and admire myself in the mirror, humming "Ride of the Valkyries."
There are three sharp knocks at the door and a haughty voice declares, "I am ready now, unless you have turned coward Master Dwarf." I snort, "Not likely laddie buck! I'm more than ready to pound you into the ground!" I fling open the door and grin up at him, "Just lead the way." His brown eyes flash dangerously. "I fear you are taking this challenge lightly." I can't help but laugh, I feel hyper, like it's the last day of school before Christmas break. "Not at all my friend! I am merely eager to spar with a worthy opponent." He growls and stalks down the hallway; I stifle an adrenaline-induced giggle and follow after. To my surprise he leads me to an outdoor, occupied practice range. "We shall fight here." Another elf steps forward, with wooden staves, neither cut down for my height. I glance suspiciously at my opponent and clench my teeth as his lips twitch up into a smirk.
"Hold." The voice is calm and cold. "You shall fight with bare hands. Remove your mail Master Kibil." {My name sounds like Kibble, with a weird twist. I don't think I'm going to make it through this trip without laughing myself silly.} I find the source of the voice and I can feel my eyes popping out of my head. Aragorn stands there, waiting patiently. I nod and remove the chainmail shirt with little difficulty, draping it carefully over a handy rail. The Elf bows stiffly and I get the distinct feeling he was looking forward to trying to hit me with a stick.
I feel like a six-year-old again, without the constraints of Ritalin. Yet my mind is crystal clear, and sharp as an axe blade. My weight won't make up for my strength, so if we grapple, he'll pin me no problem. But If I use fisticuffs . . . perhaps it will level the playing field. I let out a deep breath and put my fists up, "Alright, bring it!" The elf lunges and everything slows down, my body moves of its own violition, twisting away and bringing my fist down on his back. Then everything is normal speed again; the Elf lands cat-like and spins, catching me a glancing blow on the jaw.
I spit out blood and growl; a red haze settles over my sight and I punch forward, into empty air, as he slips past my guard and knees me. If I had actually been a man, well it probably would have had me sprawling on the ground, but as a female it hurts a LOT less. I wince and snarl using his surprise to grab the shoulders of his tunic and bowl him over, placing my self firmly on his chest. The haze lifts and I smile. "I believe I've won this round?" he growls and tries to buck me off but my weight is solidly settled on his ribs, limiting his air capacity. His shallow breaths ring across the now silent practice court. "Have I won, Master Elf?"
He glares daggers at me and says, "I . . . Concede, that . . . you have won." I roll off and stand offering him a hand up. He ignores it, rises, bows stiffly to me then to Aragorn and stalks off. "Jerk." I mutter, and begin brushing the leaves off my tunic. I become aware of all eyes on me, and turn slowly, to face the silent crowd. "Er . . . Hi?" they all stare at me, making me rather uncomfortable. Then as if on some unspoken command they all disperse, like the multiple "Smiths" from Matrix Reloaded. A hand lands on my shoulder and I try not to jump, and manage only to twitch, a little.
"You fought well." I relax as Aragorn's voice drifts to my ears. "Thank you. I endeavored to do so." "That blow he gave you would have felled a lesser man." I have to bite my lip as many responses, none of them appropriate, flit across my mind. "Good thing I'm a dwarf then eh?" His smile is as brief as the hope that there will be no weekend homework. "I shall be glad to have you with me on this journey." He slaps me on the back and strolls off. Leaving me alone, on a now empty practice field. I suddenly have the urge to dance about and sing "I feel pretty".
"Do you suppose he drinks, Merry?" "Wouldn't surprise me, Pip. The dwarfs that passed through at home always managed to put away a goodly amount." I blink, "Is this some round about way of asking me to join you for a drink?" The bushes at the edge of the field rustle and the two hobbits tumble out. "He heard us!" This is apparently a surprise to Pippin who looks rather perturbed. I tilt my head to the side, perplexed. "Wasn't I supposed to?" Then it occurs to me. {It's that Mary-sue thing! Where I have special gifts and stuff! I wonder if that includes an ability to hold my liquor?} "Well, if that was your intention, I accept. If not, please excuse me." I begin to walk away but Merry's lilting voice stops me.
"Do you know any drinking songs?" I blink, twice, and turn. "No, none. Sorry." He beams at me, "Then we'll teach you some! Come on!" Pippin grabs me by the hand and begins to drag me away, and then I remember something. "Wait!" I trot back and retrieve my chain mail then walk back to where my friends are waiting. "Okay now we can go."
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"Hey ho to the bottle I go, To heal my heart and drown my woe! Rain may fall and wind may blow. And there still be . . . Many miles to go! Sleep to the sound of the pouring rain. And the stream that leaps from hill to plain! Better then rain or rippling brook, is a mug of beer inside this Took!"
I shake my head and take a swig from my eighth mug; "There should be a verse about dwarfs." Merry looks thoughtful for a moment. "You know, you're right. What do you think Gandalf?" I jump a little as Gandalf speaks, from behind me. "I think Master Kibil is right. There should also be one for men and one for elves." I think for a moment, then begin to sing, in a lovely tenor, If I do say so myself. "Hey ho to the pub I go, To heal my heart and drown my woe! Rain may fall and wind may blow. And there still be . . . Many miles to go! Sleep to the sound of the pouring rain. And the stream that leaps from hill to plain! Better then cave or wind-swept wharf is a keg of ale inside this dwarf!" Merry and Pippin applaud enthusiastically. "But what about the Elves?" Asks Pippin, cocking his head to the side. "Maybe we should let Legolas do that." I reply waving my hand.
"Do what?" I twitch as the voice comes, yet again, from behind me. I turn to see Legolas, eyebrow raised and a small smile curling his lips. I get the distinct feeling that I should be squealing, or at least swooning right now. "Elven verse for a drinking song." Says the Took assuming the elf knows what we were talking about. "Drinking song?" I roll my eyes and smile. "Why don't you take a seat and join us?"
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AN: Stay tuned! Next chapter is . . . untitled as of yet! Review and give me suggestions. For those of you who want a summary . . . "The fellowship finally embarks on their tremendous task, taking total control of their destiny!" Cheesy I know. =^_^= But cheese is good! =^_^=
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I pace back and forth, armor, I need armor of course. But not enough to be noticeable, I don't want the elves to think me cowardly. I blink and bristle slightly, "Well what does it matter what THEY think?" that cheers me immeasurably and I slip on a light coat of chain mail. I belt it securely and admire myself in the mirror, humming "Ride of the Valkyries."
There are three sharp knocks at the door and a haughty voice declares, "I am ready now, unless you have turned coward Master Dwarf." I snort, "Not likely laddie buck! I'm more than ready to pound you into the ground!" I fling open the door and grin up at him, "Just lead the way." His brown eyes flash dangerously. "I fear you are taking this challenge lightly." I can't help but laugh, I feel hyper, like it's the last day of school before Christmas break. "Not at all my friend! I am merely eager to spar with a worthy opponent." He growls and stalks down the hallway; I stifle an adrenaline-induced giggle and follow after. To my surprise he leads me to an outdoor, occupied practice range. "We shall fight here." Another elf steps forward, with wooden staves, neither cut down for my height. I glance suspiciously at my opponent and clench my teeth as his lips twitch up into a smirk.
"Hold." The voice is calm and cold. "You shall fight with bare hands. Remove your mail Master Kibil." {My name sounds like Kibble, with a weird twist. I don't think I'm going to make it through this trip without laughing myself silly.} I find the source of the voice and I can feel my eyes popping out of my head. Aragorn stands there, waiting patiently. I nod and remove the chainmail shirt with little difficulty, draping it carefully over a handy rail. The Elf bows stiffly and I get the distinct feeling he was looking forward to trying to hit me with a stick.
I feel like a six-year-old again, without the constraints of Ritalin. Yet my mind is crystal clear, and sharp as an axe blade. My weight won't make up for my strength, so if we grapple, he'll pin me no problem. But If I use fisticuffs . . . perhaps it will level the playing field. I let out a deep breath and put my fists up, "Alright, bring it!" The elf lunges and everything slows down, my body moves of its own violition, twisting away and bringing my fist down on his back. Then everything is normal speed again; the Elf lands cat-like and spins, catching me a glancing blow on the jaw.
I spit out blood and growl; a red haze settles over my sight and I punch forward, into empty air, as he slips past my guard and knees me. If I had actually been a man, well it probably would have had me sprawling on the ground, but as a female it hurts a LOT less. I wince and snarl using his surprise to grab the shoulders of his tunic and bowl him over, placing my self firmly on his chest. The haze lifts and I smile. "I believe I've won this round?" he growls and tries to buck me off but my weight is solidly settled on his ribs, limiting his air capacity. His shallow breaths ring across the now silent practice court. "Have I won, Master Elf?"
He glares daggers at me and says, "I . . . Concede, that . . . you have won." I roll off and stand offering him a hand up. He ignores it, rises, bows stiffly to me then to Aragorn and stalks off. "Jerk." I mutter, and begin brushing the leaves off my tunic. I become aware of all eyes on me, and turn slowly, to face the silent crowd. "Er . . . Hi?" they all stare at me, making me rather uncomfortable. Then as if on some unspoken command they all disperse, like the multiple "Smiths" from Matrix Reloaded. A hand lands on my shoulder and I try not to jump, and manage only to twitch, a little.
"You fought well." I relax as Aragorn's voice drifts to my ears. "Thank you. I endeavored to do so." "That blow he gave you would have felled a lesser man." I have to bite my lip as many responses, none of them appropriate, flit across my mind. "Good thing I'm a dwarf then eh?" His smile is as brief as the hope that there will be no weekend homework. "I shall be glad to have you with me on this journey." He slaps me on the back and strolls off. Leaving me alone, on a now empty practice field. I suddenly have the urge to dance about and sing "I feel pretty".
"Do you suppose he drinks, Merry?" "Wouldn't surprise me, Pip. The dwarfs that passed through at home always managed to put away a goodly amount." I blink, "Is this some round about way of asking me to join you for a drink?" The bushes at the edge of the field rustle and the two hobbits tumble out. "He heard us!" This is apparently a surprise to Pippin who looks rather perturbed. I tilt my head to the side, perplexed. "Wasn't I supposed to?" Then it occurs to me. {It's that Mary-sue thing! Where I have special gifts and stuff! I wonder if that includes an ability to hold my liquor?} "Well, if that was your intention, I accept. If not, please excuse me." I begin to walk away but Merry's lilting voice stops me.
"Do you know any drinking songs?" I blink, twice, and turn. "No, none. Sorry." He beams at me, "Then we'll teach you some! Come on!" Pippin grabs me by the hand and begins to drag me away, and then I remember something. "Wait!" I trot back and retrieve my chain mail then walk back to where my friends are waiting. "Okay now we can go."
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"Hey ho to the bottle I go, To heal my heart and drown my woe! Rain may fall and wind may blow. And there still be . . . Many miles to go! Sleep to the sound of the pouring rain. And the stream that leaps from hill to plain! Better then rain or rippling brook, is a mug of beer inside this Took!"
I shake my head and take a swig from my eighth mug; "There should be a verse about dwarfs." Merry looks thoughtful for a moment. "You know, you're right. What do you think Gandalf?" I jump a little as Gandalf speaks, from behind me. "I think Master Kibil is right. There should also be one for men and one for elves." I think for a moment, then begin to sing, in a lovely tenor, If I do say so myself. "Hey ho to the pub I go, To heal my heart and drown my woe! Rain may fall and wind may blow. And there still be . . . Many miles to go! Sleep to the sound of the pouring rain. And the stream that leaps from hill to plain! Better then cave or wind-swept wharf is a keg of ale inside this dwarf!" Merry and Pippin applaud enthusiastically. "But what about the Elves?" Asks Pippin, cocking his head to the side. "Maybe we should let Legolas do that." I reply waving my hand.
"Do what?" I twitch as the voice comes, yet again, from behind me. I turn to see Legolas, eyebrow raised and a small smile curling his lips. I get the distinct feeling that I should be squealing, or at least swooning right now. "Elven verse for a drinking song." Says the Took assuming the elf knows what we were talking about. "Drinking song?" I roll my eyes and smile. "Why don't you take a seat and join us?"
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AN: Stay tuned! Next chapter is . . . untitled as of yet! Review and give me suggestions. For those of you who want a summary . . . "The fellowship finally embarks on their tremendous task, taking total control of their destiny!" Cheesy I know. =^_^= But cheese is good! =^_^=