Author's Note: So, I finished this earlier than thought and now I'm going to fail a bunch of tests… Y'all better review! … Seriously though, no update until ten (10) reviews. New rule of mine. Also, if you ask me a question in a review, check back, because I'll answer it.

"Fortiter in re, leniter in modo" is Latin for "Courage for the deed, grace for the doing." Something I've known for a while and never really understood the meaning until about a year ago.

Also, there are many hints in this fic including some foreshadowing and anagrams. Anyone who finds any gets the chapter early! (Unless you're Jena or Elaine because you basically get it early anyway. Even if you've got the nasty job of editing or giving me advice. Though you can guess at the anagrams)

"If you're on your own in this life,

The days and nights are long.

When you think you've had too much life,

Hang on."

~ "Everybody Hurts", REM

Chapter Four: Pensieve Thoughts

Livi smiled at Remus politely and waved as she made her way towards the large front doors of the Entrance Hall. Wearily he waved back and turned to walk up the stairs slowly and stiffly. The pain potion Poppy had given him must've been wearing off now and he wouldn't be able to take anymore because within about five hours Remus would become the monster that lurked within the deepest shadows of his soul.

Remus and Livi had spent the better part the morning discussing Hogwarts and teaching. Livi, who had always been an Auror was finding that being a teacher was going to be a lot more work than she thought.

iThank God for the Secritarius spell./i Livi thought as she pulled her long, crimson hair into a ponytail and set off towards the gate. A large groan escaped from somewhere near the forest and Livi quickly changed the direction in which she was walking; curiosity getting the best of her.

As she neared the forest, she saw a battered man emerge from the thick trees. He was as tall as two seventh years and as wide as one lying across. Though his beard was longer and had a few flecks of gray in it, Livi knew at once it was Hagrid.

"Miss, yer should'n be out near the fores'. It's not the safest place, ya know."

"I'm sorry." Livi apologized quietly, looking at the sickly green bruise under the man's eye.

"Rubeus Hagrid, Hogwarts' keeper of the keys and Care of Magical Creatures professor." He greeted, extending a dirty hand caked with dried blood.

"Livi de Tomel, I'm the new Defense professor."

"Nice ter meet ya!" Hagrid shook her hand fiercely. "Ya look promisin', tha's fer sure."

"Erm, thank you, Hagrid." Livi replied, a tad confused. How did she look promising?

"It's nothing, Professor. Well I must be off. Need to go and check on the Kneazle order for the firs' years."

Livi nodded and sighed realizing she'd have to rush once in Diagon Alley. Glad to have much longer legs, Livi burst into a sprint towards the large gate. Once she had reached the large stone archway and Iron Gate, Livi stopped and looked at her surroundings. She checked her watch and noticed it was later than she thought. As she brought her hand up to the large gate to push it open, a surge of energy flowed from her finger tips and up her arm. Surprised, Livi pulled her hand back and inspected it. The tips of her fingers were red as if they had been burned.

"Tsk, tsk, Professor." A cool voice drawled from behind her.

Livi looked up from her tingling hand to see the sneering face of Severus Snape.

"What, now, iSevvie/i?" Livi snapped.

"Didn't your iboss/i tell you?" Snape asked lightly, though the sarcasm was clearly evident.

"Spit it out, iSev/i."

"Don't call me that." Snape hissed.

"Then tell me what you're on about," she paused and grinned malevolently. "Snivellus."

Livi immediately wished she hadn't said that one because she could've easily blown her cover and two because it was definitely not the right thing to say. Snape winced and looked as though he'd been slapped rather hard. It was obvious that only one emotion was surging violently through his veins; pure hatred.

After he had regained his composure, Snape stood up to his full height, just barely a few inches taller than Livi. He looked her straight in the eye and tilted her chin up in the same way Voldemort had the night Dorcas had died.

"I don't know where you got that-that name," Snape began sharply. "But if you call me it again, there will be consequences."

"I'll take that into account, Snape." Livi mumbled, her voice a bit muffled by Snape's strong hand under her chin. Never before had she seen him so angry and hurt. She almost pitied the man.

Snape raised a surprised eyebrow and dropped his hand to his side.

He coughed. "Watch," Snape instructed, pulling out a long black wand. "Give me your wand hand. I'll teach you."

Livi nodded and pulled out her wand.

"To get by the new wards Dumbledore had activated this morning you need to do this," Snape swished his wand back and forth in a complicated manner while repeating the spell four times. "Do you get it?"

Livi shook her head slightly and Snape began leading her wand hand in the motion he had used his.

"Now keep doing this. The incantation is 'fortiter in re, leniter in modo'."

Livi did as she was instructed and soon the gates began to glow a pale blue.

"Now say your name." Snape told her.

"Livi de Tomel." Livi stated firmly.

"Severus Snape."

With a soft 'clank' the gate opened, allowing the pair to leave.

"It records who enters and leaves." Snape explained.

"I see."

They stood looking at their shoes in an extremely awkward silence. In the distance the sound an owl's wings sounded tremendously loud. Livi shifted her weight back and forth and disapparated without saying a word.

Snape looked up at the loud crack to see that Livi was gone. Sighing, he too appararted.

** ** **

Diagon Alley was just as busy as Livi remembered it. Mothers held tightly to multiple children as they made their way down the busy street, groceries trailing lightly behind them, the lettuce or bread zapping any witch or wizard interested in "borrowing" the food.

A large group of red-haired people cut quickly through the crowds. Livi watched with minor amusement at how many children Molly and Arthur Weasley really had. Of course she'd met Bill and Charlie but they were only toddlers then and when she had died, Molly had just given birth to another son named Perky or Price or Percy… Yes, Percy, that was it. Though Livi remembered one night while watching Harry, Ron had told him about how Percy wasn't truly considered a family member anymore because he had sided with the Ministry.

Molly Weasley, much more plump than she had been sixteen years ago was busy shouting things to the jogging children behind her like, "Can you believe it! Arthur and the twins and Bill all in one year!" or "I'm just so proud of my boys!" It was typical of the over-emotional woman. At Dorcas' funeral Molly had cried the most of anyone, and they had never been close anyway. Molly was more a part of the Order because her husband was and she was eager to help.

Molly and Livi were very different indeed. Molly loved having the most children possible and acting like everyone's mother while Livi enjoyed adventure and true love though children were not something quite on her agenda at the moment.

Livi was brought back from her thoughts by the ground meeting her face. Almost immediately a kind freckled face with long red hair and a silver-blonde haired woman were looking down at her, the red head offering a hand.

"I am so terribly sorry!" the blonde exclaimed with a heavy French accent. "Bill was telling me to watch out and sure enough I run into someone!"

Bill, looking much older than he had the last time she saw him smiled and led the blonde away, back towards the disappearing group of red heads.

Chuckling slightly, Livi walked into Flourish and Blott's to purchase some supplies and ask about where to purchase a pensieve. The book store looked the same. The many shelves packed to the brim with books ranging from "So You Want to Raise a House Elf" to "Advanced Divination" or "Donny the Dragon". Livi walked over to the blank book section and looked through it carefully, grabbing two books. A journal and a grade book.

The journal was navy lined with a silver finish. A pale blue, almost white, ribbon held it closed. The grade book was a simple green leather book with a special locking spell so that prying students couldn't access it. Grabbing a few quills and bottles of ink along with some parchment and light reading, Livi left the store with a heavier bag then intended.

Over the next few hours Livi rushed about buying her clothing, a pensieve, which proved to be a lot more expensive than Livi had known and her money bag had grown a lot lighter because of it.

Finally satisfied with what she had bought, Livi stopped into the Leaky Cauldron to grab a drink. It had been a long time since Livi had drunken a butter beer and she figured now would be the time to do it.

Pleased to see that Tom was still the bartender, Livi walked up to the toothless man and ordered her butter beer. Sipping it quietly, Livi listened to the many conversations going on.

"You-Know-Who…back…Fudge lied…" an elderly woman was saying in low tones to a frightened young boy, presumably her grandson who looked on the verge of tears.

"…New Minister…" a man with a lopsided conical hat whispered to another man in shabby clothes.

"Wotcher." A voice greeted from beside Livi.

Livi looked up at a woman with bright pink, spiky hair. Livi couldn't remember her name, but she remembered seeing her once or twice with Remus discussing Order business.

"Hi," Livi greeted, taking another sip and looking at a young boy with flaming red hair and a girl with thick brown hair whose mouth was moving at an insane speed.

"What will you tell Harry?" the girl exclaimed.

iHermione…/i

"Nothing. He's got enough on his plate now." The red head answered.

iRon…/i

"You know 'em?" the woman asked Livi, her voice taking on a sharpish tone.

"No, do you?" Livi lied.

"Yes I do, the red head's father is the new Minister of Magic."

Livi tried her best not to spit out her butter beer. Never before had she seen this coming, but then again, the future she had seen was with Sirius, Harry, Snape, D.A., Dumbledore and the Order battling with Voldemort and his army, Harry eventually killing Voldemort.

Then again, the future could change.

"What?" she spluttered.

"Arthur Weasley was announced Minister of Magic this morning after Fudge resigned due to unknown reasons." The woman smiled broadly and leaned close to Livi's ear. "But between you and me, I think he quit because the man is an incompetent coward."

Livi nodded into her butter beer.

"Tonks," the woman extended her hand.

"Livi."

"You wouldn't be the new Defense prof. would you?"

"Actually I am." Livi answered, paying for her butter beer and getting up to leave. "I really must be going though, sorry Miss Tonks."

"It's quite fine. Have a good night, Ms. de Tomel."

** ** **

Tonks watched the woman with long maroon hair and the palest blue eyes she'd ever seen leave the building. She turned to Ron and Hermione who had finished their dinner and walked over to their table.

"You two ready to go?" she asked them, running a hand through her hair.

Hermione looked up anxiously at Tonks. "I need another woman's opinion on something."

Ron groaned and Tonks pulled up a chair, sitting with the back facing towards the table, her long legs wrapped over the back rest.

"What do you need to talk about, Hermione?"

Hermione took a deep breath and Ron buried his head in his hands, mumbling about women and secrets.

"Well," Hermione began slowly. "It all started last summer when I received a letter from a certain someone." Hermione looked kindly in Ron's direction. "After we came to You-Know-Where, Ron and I discovered what we had truly been missing for the past four years. It's been one year and we still haven't told Harry that we're," Hermione paused and Ron took in a breath, not letting it out. "That we're going out."

Ron left the breath out loudly and Tonks smiled sweetly at the two.

"It's nice of you to try and protect Harry, but you can't stay in the dark forever. It's better you tell him than having him find out from the wrong people. I mean, you wouldn't want him to get some distorted version of the truth, would you?"

"No, I guess not." Ron mumbled from inside his hands.

"When will we see him next?" Hermione asked in a low whisper.

Tonks shook her head in answer. "Let's get you two back to You-Know-Where."

The two teenagers nodded and followed the Auror out the door.

** ** **

When Livi arrived back at Hogwarts she immediately rushed up to her rooms, not wishing to run into anyone.

Livi was never that lucky.

"Livi! Livi!" a shrilly voice called from behind her.

Livi cringed and turned to see Madame Pomfrey rushing towards her.

"How are you feeling, Professor?" she questioned, placing the back of her hand to Livi's face.

"I'm fine, Poppy, really."

"Now, now," the school matron clucked. "No use lying to me. Tell me, are you tired, dizzy, in pain, light headed, sick to your stomach or have odd rashes in odd places?"

Livi sighed. "I'm a bit tired. I think it's best that I rest." She said quickly.

Madame Pomfrey clasped her hands together and smiled. "I'll let you be on your way then. Farewell, professor!"

Livi set her bags down on her couch and opened the large package that held her pensieve.  She threw the heavy tissue paper to the floor and sat the large basin on her lap. She brought the tip of her wand to the temple and began to extract her earliest memories. Livi figured they would be the first ones to go. As Livi pulled the wand from her temple and led the long silvery strand of a memory into the pensieve, she felt somewhat lighter. The memory of her first Ministry ball and when she had met Arthur Weasley danced in the shimmering substance in front of her.

** ** **

When Remus transformed into the wolf, he seemed to remember his worst memories. Even with the Wolfsbane potion it was still horrible. As he paced about the room there was no doubt in his mind he'd be reliving the scene that had haunted him for the past few weeks.

The death of his best friend, Sirius Black.

Remus looked out his window fleetingly to see the moon beginning to rise. A painful sensation from the bottom of his spinal cord grew as he grew fur and his bones reshaped and arranged themselves. He fell to the floor, trying to block out the memory that played in his head.

iRemus Lupin sat on the coffee table of Lily and James Potter while James was telling the story of how Sirius had once charmed Snape to dance the tango with Professor McGonagall during Transfiguration. James had soon pulled up his sixth month pregnant wife and began dancing the tango with her while Remus and Peter laughed. The only thing missing at the moment were Sirius who was over in Spain on an Auror mission and Remus' girlfriend, Dorcas.

"Lily, my sweet flower," James purred, kissing her bulging stomach.

"Eurgh, get a room!" Peter squealed.

Everyone burst out laughing and James gave Peter a hearty punch in the shoulder.

"C'mon, Wormtail, Lily's my wife! Speaking of wives," James turned to Remus who immediately began blushing. "Moony, you and Dorcas have been going out for what? Two years , right? So, when are you going to ask her?"

"Soon, I swear. I just need to pick the right time."

Lily snorted. "There is never the right time, Remus. Merlin, James asked me right before Snape's sister's funeral!"

"And you said yes?" Peter laughed.

"No, I slapped him in the face but we're married now, aren't we?"

"I'll ask her first thing tomorrow." Remus declared, proudly.

"And she'll say yes!" James chimed in.

The front door swung open in swift manner and a pale Severus Snape swept into the room. Even in his dark gray robes, a darker stain was clear in his side. Immediately James, Remus and Peter were on their feet, wands pointed at the school rival.

"Remus, I need you to come with me outside for a second." Snape said; his voice thick with unidentified emotion.

 Remus left the house with Snape in a dreamlike state. He could barely remember hearing Snape describe Dorcas' duel with Voldemort or his apologies for not being able to do more. His heart refused to accept the news yet in his brain sirens were going off and he felt his world crumble around him for the first time. In about a year his newly rebuilt life would crash around him again and there would be no shoulder to cry on./i

The wolf peered around his room, confused by the memory. Even with the Wolfsbane it was hard to keep a straight thought going. Deciding that he'd rather sleep, the wolf curled up in the floor.

Remus Lupin awoke the next morning with a splitting headache. Wincing as he stood up, Remus made his way to the bed where a platter full of miscellaneous potions was waiting. Quickly he reached for the pain-killing potion and downed it, the warmth of the pale blue potion spreading through his veins, relaxing his strained muscles. After taking several more potions and pushing aside the ones he had deemed unnecessary, Remus slid into the bed and fell into a medicine-induced sleep.

i"Oh Grandmother!" a voice sang from the doorway.

Remus looked up from his copy of the Daily Prophet as a short, red-head with vibrant green eyes skipped into the room in a red cape with a picnic basket.

"Grandmother!" she gasped. "What big teeth you have!"

Remus raised an eyebrow at his girlfriend.

"And Grandmother! What big ears you have!"

Remus cocked his head to the side as his girlfriend put down the picnic basket and sat on his lap.

"And Grandmother… What big lips you have…" she finished, kissing him quickly before hopping off his lap again. "Such a big bad wolf." Dorcas winked.

Remus rolled his eyes and pulled her back onto his lap. "I hope that wasn't sarcasm." He whispered in her ear, kissing her stomach up and down as she kicked her feet.

"S-Stop! Rem! That tickles! Please!" she screamed.

The snickering from the doorway made the two look up. James Potter stood in the doorframe, a huge smile plastered across his face.

Oh the downside to sharing a flat with your best friends…

"In the Muggle tale, doesn't Red win?"

"This is a different version," Remus stated simply before kissing his girlfriend on the cheek and hoisting her upright.

"And Dorcas, what kind of a Red Riding Hood do you think you are? Red doesn't kiss the wolf!" James exclaimed. "I paid attention in Muggle studies, ya know!"

"I'm not little Red Riding Hood though," Dorcas began slyly. "I'm little Red Riding Hood."

Remus coughed and James snorted, leaving the room quickly, bursting into laughter as soon as he'd reached the end of the hallway./i

Remus awoke in a cold sweat and found that he was shivering and couldn't get warm. With a quavering hand he reached for a potion bottle. The bottle slid out of his sweaty palm and hit the floor with a nasty sizzling noise. Taking in a shallow breath, Remus tried to get out of his bed. This had never happened before. As soon as he was standing upright, the world seemed to spin and Remus grabbed for the bed post which seemed to have disappeared. Stumbling almost blindly around the room, Remus managed to find the floo powder and ignite a fire.

"Severus Snape," he coughed; his throat suddenly very dry.

The last image he could see before falling unconscious was the look of trouble that clouded over Snape's face.

Author's Note: I am so sorry for all you Harry/Hermione shippers out there, but I'm trying to go with canon and rumors that I've read that make sense and it seemed to me that Hermione and Ron had been going out last year. I mean, look at how Ron matured. Sure, the whole aspect of being a prefect could've done it, but maybe a little bit of Hermione rubbed off on him once they started going out.

Once again I'm terribly sorry. If you want to read some of my H/Hr fics, I recommend, "New Faces, Old Friends" and its sequel, "Returning is Never Easy".