I've been pretty depressed lately... *sigh* sometimes people are really inconsiderate and don't think about how what they say affects other people. But I did get today off because of the hurricane so I can get away for a while.


But your reviews always make me happy! Thanks guys! Oh and I went back and edited my chapters... wow how many times did I write thing instead of think? Oh well all better now. And by the way this chapter might seem a little rushed but its supposed to feel that way because Jack is rushing to......... well you;ll find out. Enjoy!



Chapter 4: Rising Sun


I'm here without you baby

but you still own my lonely mind.

I think about you baby

and I dream about you all the time.

I'm here without you baby

but you're still with me in my dreams

and tonight... its only you and me.


3 Doors Down: Here Without You



Months have passed since I heard of Bill's fate. My life has been completely changed by those simple words. Nothings that made me happy has an affect on me anymore. Not the rush of commandeering a ship nor the tingle of rum running down my parched throat. Life now is filled simply with living each day, not with enjoying the time or even having something to live for.



When I look around, every object, every person, everything makes me think of you, Bill. I look at my ship and think about how it doesn't come close to comparing with the Pearl. I look out over the see and I feel the emptiness in my heart. I look at the cup of rum in my hand and taste the blandness that accompanies life without you.


In the dark of night I awake from my light sleep and almost feel your arms around me. Almost. I know that part of you is still with me, maybe part of your heart stayed behind to guide me through these times. How can I ever live through this? What's the point anyway.


You were the light in the shadows and now darkness is all that surrounds me. You were the honey in the midst of the sour world, and now the sweetness is all gone. Forever.



I consciously know that Bill is dead, but my heart never fully believed it was true. I guess the child in me is still clinging to happiness while my body and existence knows it's hopeless. My sadness haunts me, thick as darkness but I can only take so much. As a pirate, all I think about other than Bill is revenge. To know that Barbossa is still out there with my ship, and to know that he was the one that took the light out of my life.

I clench my fists and pound them the railing on my lonely ship. He cannot still be out there living in joy with all the riches in the world. I must do something about it. To avenge Bill is the closest thing to getting him back that I can do. At least I know that his soul will appreciate it. In the middle of the night my thoughts run wild like this, but I know it's for the best. I must kill him. Barbossa does not deserve to live.


***


This morning, I awake like always from disturbed sleep and recall my thoughts of the night before. I kick myself and wonder what I have done to deserve this. No pirate has thoughts like that. With the way I'm acting, I can hardly be called a pirate.


That's all going to change.


I look out across my ship and realize how small and inadequate it is. I need something bigger. I need something better. And with it I will destroy him. I feel the heat of anger rising in my blood. I need a ship fast. Using my old pirate skills for the first time in months I scan the port in search of a ship to take. My eyes finally rest on a good sized ship that is ready for departure. What luck.


Now I need a crew. I rush to my favorite pub as fast as I can. I know I am rushing this but I know I can't stop until Barbossa is dead. It is my mission. I enter the bar and notice a few of my old friends I know I can trust and scamper over to and tell them of my plot. I hurry the on and tell them that I need a crew as fast as I can, no waiting. I can tell that the anger is speaking.


Much to my dismay it takes a day or two to form a suitable crew, and the moment we have enough people I herd them all to me and we plan to take over the ship I had chosen.


Commandeering the ship went by in a blur because the adrenaline had kicked in and the speed to the mission was to mike liking. All I clearly remember was a slightly recognizable dark lass swearing at me as I sailed off. Doesn't matter, I told myself.


Once we set sail I cooled down a bit, and started to get back into the ol' melody of the sea and of piracy. The change in me was remarkable and the missing piece to my heart seems satiated by the hopeful quest. I take a swig of rum and let out a belch and for the first time I realize how I'd missed my reckless deeds. Last time I did anything of the sort was when I was with Bill. Bill...


I cleared my throat. No reason to think of that now. Like old times, Jack on a mission does not need distractions. My mind was set.


I took out my compass and began to set the course. With my head held high and the wind on my face I knew this was the place I had to be. And I knew who I had to be with.


"Ah!" I said out loud. "No matter where I am my thoughts always go to 'im."


***


As the days go by I become familiar with my crew and I even engage in conversation with them. One member specifically. An old lad, he says that he knows all of the gossip of the sea, and one evening I get a chance to speak with him.


"So ya know of the Black Pearl, do ya?" I asked.


"Aye, I've 'eard many tales. Ne'er seen it myself though. That's why I'm 'ere."


"Any recent stories you know of?"


"Hmm," he thought for a second. "Yeah, I've 'eard some." My eyes widened.


"'Bout what?"


"Well it seems as though there's a curse that was put on all the crew for stealing that there treasure from the island." And he went on to tell me of the treasure of Cortez and what exactly it meant. I'd heard there was a curse, but obviously believed nothing because I was leading the expedition there. I listened with interest and was astonished as he told me.


"And these curs'd mates cannot die. No matter what 'appens they cannot die."


They cannot die.


My breath hitched in my throat as I thought of the possibilities. They cannot die. All who took the treasure cannot die. Including Bill. Bill cannot die. He can't die. He's alive.


***


That night I had a dream. The first dream since Bill left me where I was content.


I was warm. I had a feeling of relief over me and I for some reason I was happy. In my dream I opened my eyes and found myself staring into beautiful light brown oceans. They were Bill's eyes. I realized in a second that we were cuddled together like we used to. I had my arms around him and his around me as if we would never go.


I was lost in the moment. My senses were overwhelmed as I smelled his scent and felt his touch. I sighed and closed my eyes. This was how I was meant to be. I opened my mouth to speak but Bill beat me to it. He only spoke three words. "Love you, Jack."


And with that the warmth and comfort all swirled together in my mind and I found myself awake in my bed. And for the first time in months, I was rested. And my hope was renewed that some day I would feel those amazing senses once again.


__________


Ok so there's chapter four. I would love some feedback because I'm not really sure how it came out. If anyone has any ideas on how they I should change this please tell me. And thanks again for reading, a absolutely adore that people are enjoying this story. And if you have read it and not reviewed it in the past please take a few seconds to do so. It really makes me happy:) and I also write faster ;)