A/N: You know the drill. Sentences in italics, such as this, are inside-her-head conversations. Sorry for the wait. I had to take a week off from this story, and I managed to find seven really good teen fiction books in the school library to read which ultimately really helped me finish basically the last two page of this chapter (teen books-good? I know I'm as shocked as you.) Thanks, thanks Tatiana. Let's just hope I can get another chapter done this week with a new baby sister in the house. If Johnny seems a little ooc, it's because I figured because of the given circumstances they'd be automatically closer, YA KNOW!! Interesting fact: My pre-title for the last couple (and future) chapters has been: It's like having Stuart little shoved in my ear. Tell me what you think about the revelations in this chapter- all tenish of them, please (code for review please).
Friday, 28 February 2003 - Saturday, 15 March 2003
XVI. Revelations
I GASPED for air as I was thrust into consciousness. Logan plunged into my head, his mutation surging through me like a torrent, healing every one of my wounds. The feeling was that of someone bludgeoning me awake, and the headache was quick in coming as he swam around filling my brain. I intuitively tried desperately pushing him down and shutting him off and managed to get a modicum of him down under the mental blocks I was endeavoring to set up in the place of the ones that had inexplicably disappeared, but it felt as if there was too much of him, and it was not making him any more contented.
Marie! Why the fuck did you do this to yourself? How long have you been doing this? His voice ripped irately through my mind as he effortlessly knocked down the weak blocks I had tried to place up.
I could feel him searching through my mind, getting his answer less than a millisecond later, and I pushed harder, struggling to concentrate harder on my task, striving to ignore the pain throbbing through my head like a jackhammer to my scull, wanting him out as soon as I could make it happen and ignoring the fact that he knew about my masochism. What the hell had happened? I tried grasping on to what was going on, starting with the facts, as I coincidently tried to rid of him. He knew about my cutting, he was in my head, and my cuts were healing. Easy, he had touched me, but why the fuck could I not feel my body and where were my blocks, and why could I not feel my body? No sound, nothing to look at but the perpetual black void that encased me. No sign that I came with anything but a head for the ache. Nothing. Was I dead?
No, but when I found you, you nearly were. You were in your bed covered in blood and with cuts all over your body.
He had found me in my bed? Then I must have never woken to clean after myself, and that meant it had been his voice that I thought I had been hearing before the last of my consciousness had slip away from me.
And now I find out you've done this more than once? Wanna explain why?
No, I did not. I did not want to do any explaining. What I wanted was an explanation of what I was experiencing. I called out mentally to the Professor for help. I could not figure why I was having such a difficult time attempting to push Logan down. He was not even fading the slightest bit. The blocks were going down hard, shattering like glass against my will and at his. He almost felt… permanent, but he could not be. From what I could tell from the memories that had flooded in, he had not held on for any longer than he had when he was saving my life up on the statue, and I managed then, with the Professor's help, to push him down along with Magneto. So why was this any different?
That's right, darlin'. I'm not shutting up anytime soon until you tell me why the fuck you did this to yourself.
I could not hear the Professor answer and resigned to try to adjust to Logan's presence in my head, hoping it would somehow alleviate the headache. Was he aware that he was causing me pain? He felt like an information overload, like an everlasting brain-freeze.
You're in my head. Find out yourself, I answered getting irritated with his unremitting attitude, his alien existence, the pain he was still causing me.
Good idea, he retorted, and I felt him again searching my thoughts. I did not want him searching through my head like this. I did not want him in my head.
PROFESSOR! I screamed hoping he, Jean or any damned telepath would catch my cry. I did not even think I was even conscious anymore. It was the only reason I could think of for why the Professor was not answering me.
Watch your language, Marie! Could he hear every freaking thing I thought? Where had all my mental strength gone? If I had lost control, then where were Eric, Cody, and John?
Shut up, I retorted. You curse like a… person who curses a lot…
I think you mean a sailor, John answered. Oh fuck. John? Right well, there was the answer to my question, but I did not want another addition in my head, particularly when I had no idea what I was going through or where I was. When would I know what the hell was happening!
How'd you get in her head? Logan questioned confused. I remembered when I had absorbed Johnny I had immediately locked him away, not giving myself any time to get used to his presence at all. Having him here in my head after all that had happened since that Wednesday night would just be extremely weird. I only hoped that because the Professor had done the work that Eric and Cody were still locked away for good.
I touched him, I answered quickly, not wanting to go into that right now. My mind was gradually adjusting to having them both present.
Yeah, we'll talk about it later. I think you're startin' to wake up, Logan pointed out.
"She will no longer be able to control her mutation. I'm not certain if this is permanent or temporary. Most likely we will have to start at step one again in our Saturday sessions. It seems she went through a mental break down," I heard the Professor's distant voice say. Start at step one? I would have to start over in the sessions again? But I had almost been done! I thought about before and wondered how it qualified as a mental breakdown. How I must have lost all control when I had picked up my razor. It was why I had failed to repress Logan and why John was back. I had destroyed everything I had learned, everything I had gained, everything I had worked so fucking hard for in less than one day, less than one hour. I had lost all control while I had been cutting. I had screwed up again.
Then it's good thing I got my kiss in before hand, Johnny answered. How did he know about the kiss, I had absorbed him before that? My attention was dragged back to the levity in the rest of his statement. Wait, had he just said that?
You're not a screw up, Marie. You just continuously make the wrong decisions… Kiss?? Is that how you absorbed him?
No. I never said I was a screw-up, I answered. I did not want to talk about this now. I wanted to regain control over my body, my senses, my mutation and my brain. I wanted to hear the rest of this conversation. I wanted to now how long I would not be able to touch?
"I can't believe she would do that to herself," I heard Jean's voice say. Well then, I must have tripped and fallen on the razor, I thought bitterly. She sounded closer, less distant. Maybe they were actually just standing farther away.
"I wish I had sensed this before. My fear of invading her personal thoughts held me back." Luckily for me, but it did not matter any more. Logan said he had found me in my bed where I had apparently passed out. I could feel the emotions that had run through him at seeing me like that as his memories flashed through my head.
We did kiss right? It wasn't a dream or something, was it? Johnny asked. Was that the case? Were my thoughts just like an open bank or something that they had free-anytime access to?
Pretty much, Johnny answered. Having my mind open to others like that, to John and Logan, was not something I wanted. There were some things I did not want them to know whether they technically could not find out or not, specifically, the whole situation with Ben.
How is it that you chose to tell him what you do to yourself? He fucking kissed you after you told him, didn't that say a damn thing about him? I could feel Logan's anger starting to flare again. It had not at the time, and it did now, but that did not matter now. It was over. Everything was fucking over. Johnny stayed particularly silent, probably receiving the full update of what our status was.
"How are we going to explain Rogue and Logan to the students?" Jean asked. The students?
We're not the only people in this mansion, Marie. Right, and they would want some sort of explanation.
"We will not disclose Rogue's situation for her own well-being. We will release it as an 'accident'." I was not sure if I cared whether the students knew or not about my masochism. It would just be another unproven rumor for Tess to spread.
"Scott and Ororo will handle the trail of blood that was made when Logan brought her down here. It won't be gone before a few of the students have a chance to see it first though… Scott found her razor in the elevator." I had left a trail? How nice. The thought sickened me, and I could only imagine what seeing my crimson trail would do to the students, Scott and Ororo. She had said Scott had found my razor; it must have still been in my hand when Logan had carried me here.
You're not getting it back, Logan stated.
Thanks for the update, Logan, I responded bitterly. Maybe I was a little misguided, and even a little naive, but I was not stupid. I was fully aware of the fact that I would never get my razor back.
Judging by the hairs sticking up on my body as the rest of the feeling in my body returned, I figured I was still dressed in my bloody undershirt and knickers on top of one of the cold, MediLab tables. I tried opening my eyes, only to have them blinded by the piercing light. Great, I thought as I wrenched them shut and turned my head. I knew where I was, what had happened and partially what was going on. I looked down at my body reaffirming that I was still half naked and cover in blood… and all my scars were gone. Every single one had disappeared, even the old ones. There was no evidence on my body that I had ever been a masochist.
You sliced up your entire body, including your old scars, darlin'. They were all gone. I had nothing now. No razor, no scars, and no one, except Logan and Johnny in my head, and most likely the real Logan, who would not let me out of his sight after I was released. Great, I was sure I would love having two of them around.
I tried moving my legs. Yeah, I had control again, but my arms would not budge from over my head. I tried again to pull them down. I could feel them, and they were moving, but-
They're tied back, darlin', Logan told me.
Tied back? THEY TIED ME UP? What was I, their freaking prisoner? I arched my back sharply trying to see what they were tied to. All I could see was my fingers as I flexed them.
Just to be careful, Logan answered. I slumped back down feeling violated and incensed. What was this, some kind of erotic fantasy scene?
Do they think I'll jump the next sharp object I see? I asked bitterly. I was pissed. Pissed at their ignorance. I was still Rogue, not some out of control girl with a fetish. Yes, I had lost control and used my razor, but it had not been because I had some weird obsession with sharp objects; it was because I had nothing else to turn when the worst came! I could not believe they had tied me up like this. I yanked and pulled ferociously at what ever was restraining me. Some kind of straps or something tied to the table somewhere.
"She's awake," Jean declared. No shit. I heard her walk over as I yanked at my arms again. I opened my eyes again, coming to glare at her as they adjusted to the light again. She leaned over, staring down at me. I wanted to jump up and bite her or something for doing this. In the mist of all the chaos that had been happening, Jean had managed to think to tie my unconscious and bloody body down to the table! I felt so safe under her judgment.
Calm down, Marie, Logan demanded, sensing the resentment and hate running through my body. Yeah, like I was going to be listening to him anytime soon.
You want to bite her? Johnny asked. Maybe that had not been the best way to say… to think my feelings. I resolved to ignore him anyway.
"I had to press you into your subconscious so I could get Logan onto one of the platforms, and make sure he was okay," My mouthed parted in shock at the tone of voice she was using. I was not a freaking three-year old, she could at least acknowledge that in her tone of voice. I rolled my eyes and turned to see Logan, still unconscious, lying on a table. He was okay, right? I prayed that I had not killed him, and that I did not now hold the complete persona of Logan in my head.
"You tied me up," I stated fumingly after I had turned back to her. I wanted her reason. Yeah, let her tell me-us-me what rationale she had had for this.
Why am I shirtless? Logan asked. I turned and looked back at Logan's body lying limply on the table and noticed this time that he was shirtless and in his boxers. Maybe it was standard.
Or maybe she couldn't wait to get your shirt off again, I was amazed at how in the middle of all this shit Johnny was still managing to joke around.
You reading my thoughts? Logan asked fumingly.
No, I can't read what you think, John answered defensively.
"I'm sorry, Rogue," Liar, "but I had to. It's only until we figure out how to deal with your situation." My situation. Right, right, I should just get used to them thinking the worst for now because that would be what they thought.
"So what, am I in trouble?" I asked still angry.
"No," the Professor answered, coming into my view. Damnit, did they not have something down here that I could put on. I did not want to talk to the Professor in my underwear. "You will, of course, attend counseling meetings, along with your Saturday sessions."
"I already have a counselor," I answered. Jean turned to look at the Xavier, uncertainly. No, I did not mean my razor. Not anymore anyway. "I mean Logan-I-he's in my head, now, and…." He would not shut up.
Is that what your razor was to you? John asked. I nodded, forgetting that it had been and inner-mind conversation.
Yeah, it was, I answered. I noticed that Logan had not made one of his comments. Did that mean something- good or bad- or did he just have nothing to say?
"We'll have to set up your mental blocks again. They-," the Professor proclaimed.
"No! I mean don't lock them up," A look of skepticism crossed his face at my almost desperate plea. Yeah, I wanted to keep them, and I had no idea why.
"You want to keep him in your head?" Jean asked. And Johnny. I nodded, and the Professor did the same.
"I think Logan will insist on counseling you when awakes." Of course, he would. I turned looking at him again and asked how much damage I had done.
"He should be waking up very soon," Jean answered, walking away with the Professor. I did not remember ever seeing Logan so vulnerable aside from after having come in contact with my skin. I almost felt proud in a perverse way. He was going to kill me when he woke up.
Stop staring, Logan commanded. I looked away. He was so freaking egotistical at times. I had not been staring; even if I had it had not been in the way he might have been thinking. I turned back to Jean, who was presently escorting Xavier out of the room. I let my eyes follow them as they neared the exit talking, but too far away for me to hear what they were saying. I watched as they evanesced around the corner, leaving me in solitude. I tried to enjoy it, knowing it would be the only solitude I would get for awhile, but I could not, not while everything was still fresh on my mind. I turned again to examine Logan to find him taking his last step towards my table. I jumped, startled, having heard nothing but silence while he had been advancing towards me.
"Damn, Logan, don't do that," I commanded, glaring at him, almost gritting my teeth. I was not presently in the best of moods. How did he manage to do that anyway? He was not the most light-footed looking of people. He looked down at me with an expression resembling one of being pissed. Nice to see that we were on the same level.
"Calm down, Marie... You know where my clothes are?" He rotated looking around the MediLab for is clothes. I wondered if it had really been necessary for Jean to undress him. It seemed a bit overboard to me for her to have stripped him down to his boxers when he had no wounds that needed to be tended to. He walked away from me searching around the MediLab for his clothes, and I almost snickered seeing him play hide and seek for his clothes in his boxers, but I figured I was probably already in enough trouble with him as it was.
Could you change the view? Johnny asked as Logan bent over looking under one of Jean's lab tables for his belongings. Okay, maybe now I was staring. Not like I could help it. I mean there was not much to look at in here. He let out a low growl as he failed to find them there.
"Logan?" He turned to me. "Could you untie me? … I'll help you find your clothes."
"Sure. You wanna explain why the fuck you did that to yourself?" he asked, walking over to me, letting a claw slide out. I almost cringed at the sight, but then mused at the thought of having my own. As I watched it extend to its full length, I felt my fingers twitch from the burning-itching sensation in my knuckles. I wondered if I did have my own.
That would be awesome, Johnny commented. I found myself agreeing, but wondering what I would do with claws? Gut Tess? No, of course, not, I told myself. Even if she did deserve it, I would never… touch her insides. I kept my mouth shut as Logan sliced through the bonds like they were paper. Fascinating.
Would I get double doses of questions from the Logans- and so far it sounded that way- or would Inner-Logan let Logan take over on the majority of the harassment? I sat up and pulled myself to the edge of the table instinctively scratching my knuckles, as I watched more or less obsequiously as his claw slid back in between his knuckles.
"… I slipped and fell," I answered nervously throwing the joke out. He did not look amused, and I dropped my eyes from his. Evading eye contact seemed like a good idea. Especially when he had that look on his face. His seriously pissed expression that had originated from worry and told me I was in trouble. I let my eyes fall to his chest. Seemed like a safe spot. Having him in my head where there was no chance of my avoiding him at all was enough to deal with already.
"Could we talk about it later… I was hoping I could go upstairs and take a shower," I pronounced looking down at my body, which was covered in mostly dry blood. "You're clothes are over there."
I pointed to Jean's desk where I had last seen them when I had been watching Jean and Xavier talk. He walked around my table towards her desk to retrieve his clothes, and I twisted watching him. I had never noticed it before, but Logan had an especially distinctive walk- Okay, maybe I had noticed it before, but-
"Stop staring," he commanded. Clenching my jaw, I slowly twisted back around. I resolved to be the better person and suppress any caustic comment I had had. I pushed myself forward and slid off the table, feet landing on the artic cold floor and shivered wanting to jump back onto the table presently warm with my body heat. This was not the place to be without socks.
Logan returned pulling his shirt down completely over his head. I steered my eyes clear of him until he had the shirt on completely. No need to initiate his egoism.
"Come on, we'll go upstairs, you'll do what you need, and then we're gonna talk," he announced. So he had it all planned out now? I had not done any real 'talking' with Logan- that did not include me lying through my teeth about my masochism- since the time I had tried to give him back his dog tags. I was not so sure how it would go. Definitely iffy on if I even wanted to. Maybe I could stake out in the shower for… ever.
I don't think so. Ugh, I had almost forgotten about inner-Logan. I was literally trapped. There was no way I could get out of this.
"I can't go upstairs like this, Logan. They'll freak especially since you've got blood on your clothes, too." Either that or be stunned by my half-nakedness. Something they would talk about for months. Wrenching the juice out of it until it was dead and forgotten or replaced by another gossip topic. Speaking of gossip topics. The trail of blood I could see running from my table to the exit would definitely serve as one. And plus, my skin's threat to the student's safety had returned. I did not need another personality in here.
"Yeah, I know. I'll get you something to put on. Come on." What about him? He had blood smeared over the front of his clothes. He started walking, leading the way, and I followed him out the MediLab, down the hall, past the elevator where my gaze finally broke from my trail of blood as it curve into the elevator. We stopped at his locker, and a sense of dread flowed through me as I remember the last trip I had made down here. There would be no stealing of boxers this time, I reminded myself. Did he know Kitty had gotten them from down here?
Does Tess still have his boxers? Johnny asked. Logan's boxers were her long lost treasure.
Yeah, I replied. Probably still wearing them, too.
Tell her I still want those back. Sure thing. Because you know Tess and I talked all the time. I could just slip it in during one of our woman-to-woman convos.
"Here," He threw a pair of sweatpants at me as he rummaged through his locker. Slipping them on, I realized that they were just a little too big as I stood up. They slid back down my butt, and I grabbed them, wrenching my hand around the waist to hold them up. The jacket landed over my head while I wrestled with the pants, and I grabbed it trying to yank it over my head as speedily as I could before my-his pants fell down again. The jacket was not any smaller. I could deal though. The pants on the other hand… He closed his locker and turned to face me. I looked up at him, jacket reaching half way down my thighs, and pants bunched down around my ankles. This was not happening.
Don't you look so cute? Johnny commented. I rolled my eyes and clenched my jaw (his attribute I think, or maybe I had just picked it up from Scott) angrily. Wow, what a comedian, I thought sarcastically. Damn, was he asking for a beating?
"A little big," Logan stated. Really, I had not noticed. I reached down, snatched the pants and pulled them back up, twisting the waistband tight around above my hips and keeping a death grip on it.
What are you gonna do? Knock your head against the wall? Johnny was laughing at me now, amused by his own sick sense of humor. I let out an irritated growl that shut him up and raised Logan's eyebrows. Damnit, had I just growled? I muttered out an apology, and he nodded reluctantly.
"Forgot about that," he mumbled. Forgot about what?
That you start acting like me. Oh. I had noticed it too, specifically, the new tendency I had to curse during every other sentence. Yeah, well he would have to get used to having a miniature him walking around the school. Especially, since now I had an excuse to be a bitch to any and everybody.
You're just in a bad mood, Johnny remarked. And I wondered why?
I followed Logan down the hall again, back to the elevator and my trail. I guess he was going to go upstairs like that anyway. Logan pressed the button, glancing back at me with an amused grin. I did not know, but maybe he could smell my frustration.
Yeah. It's reeking off you in waves, Marie. Another fact to add to the 'nice to know' list, I thought as the elevator door opened. Maybe I did need to calm down, but it felt like all of this was swiftly rushing down upon me. And it was. The measure of what I had done, and the consequences I would have to go through for the next… damn, part of my life here at the mansion without my razor slammed down on me like a brick, and I felt myself choke on my breath as we entered the elevator.
I stepped forward tremulously following Logan and tripped on the leg of my pants. I was falling forward fast and knew my landing would be hard. I reached out frantically grabbing at the air in front of me for invisible support. And it happened in slow motion like a melodramatic scene from a movie. It happened to be that Logan was in front of me entering the elevator, and I caught onto the back of him hoping that he would stop my fall. Instead, I ended up pushing him roughly face-first into the wall, and I slammed down onto the floor on my face.
"Ow," I mumbled painfully into the ground. Logan cursed irefully in his low menacing voice from the wall, and I wondered if he was going to hurt me. No, sensibly not. That was not a possibility. Damn, my face freaking hurt. I hoped I had not lost any teeth. I wanted my teeth- all of them. I loved my teeth; I did not want to part with any of them.
Stop rambling. What's that in your hands? Johnny asked. What? There was something about the way he had said it that made me think he was amused by the whole situation. Typical of him to laugh when I fell. Immature jerk.
You know you love me, Yeah, whatever. Actually, judging by what you felt during that kiss, I don't understand why you just don't walk up to me and tell me. Oh, and I forgive you for letting Ben give you a hickey. Ignore, ignore, ignore.
You told him no? Logan asked disbelievingly. Was he talking about Thursday? And what was with his random questioning?
She told me no, Johnny reiterated factually. They continued to refer to me in the third person and reproachfully discuss my love life, while I decided to pretend I could not hear them. I raised my head from the floor, ready to experience Logan's reaction, and my mouth dropped to the floor at what I saw. Either they both noticed it, too, or my shock was overwhelming, but they shut up.
"Oh my God," I gasped. My razor! No, my fingers clamped around Logan's pants pulled down around his ankles. Just like mine had been before except… his boxers were pulled down along with them.
Do NOT look up! Logan demanded. I winced as his strident yell pierced through my head. I was still adjusting to his presence and yelling had not helped any. Any anyway indubitably I was going to look up. Logan was half-naked- not meaning his shirt-, and this was one of those once-in-a-lifetime events that I was not going to miss. I did not waste anytime; my head shot up like a bullet, and…
Wow, Logan. He did not answer; maybe he was angry at me for ignoring his demand, or maybe he was just embarrassed that I had seen his family jewels, but, shit, talk about a marvel!
Perve, Johnny disapproved of my absorption with the view. How could I not gape? He was Logan, and he was half-naked. I mean damn and wow!
Should I pull his pants back up for him? I asked them. I wondered what his reaction would be if I did.No, was Logan's curt answer. Don't make it any worse.
Logan bent down and quickly snatched his pants and boxers from my hands and back up around his waist. It took me a moment to recover, and when I did I hurried to my knees, stood hastily, and tried to take another step into the elevator. My pants plummeted to my ankles again, and I tripped over them once more, taking a nose-dive into the elevator wall. Fuck, my face was going to hurt like hell. I dropped to the floor on my back like a sack of potatoes and found myself looking up at Logan, who was presently past shocked.
"These pants… They're not working for me," I stated. Johnny was laughing like a maniac, and I wanted so much to block him out or just knock him out.
"Take 'em off," I raised my eyebrows curiously. "Take them off or just deal, but do not do that again, and keep your mouth shut about it. I don't my-I don't wanna hear any students talking about any part of my body."
Yes, sir. I promise I won't spread word about your-er… genitals. I refrained myself from using the appropriate adjective.
I nodded and pushed myself up as the door closed, and a few moments later opened. He had taken that better than I had expected. I was pretty sure we would have both been busting our guts laughing if his boxers had not joined his pants, and I had not exposed his privates. Instead the ride had been unnervingly soundless. Logan walked out first, leading the way again, and I took careful steps behind him, clutching at the waist of my pants like my life depended on it. I would not be falling anytime soon- or again if I could help it because I valued my life and dignity, and I did not know how much more damage my face could take. I raised a hand, running it over my face feeling for bumps and bruises. None, so far, but we still had the stairs. I sighed, and my eyes were moved to my trail as we continued following it.
'Your' trail? What's your obsession over this thing, Marie? If anything you should be cringing at the sight, Logan proclaimed. Yeah, I should be, but I was not. And how could I when making myself bleed was a hobby.
You know nothing about masochism, I retorted. I did not see how see my own blood should make me cringe. It was a little too late for cringing.
I know enough from you, he replied. And so he would.
I trailed up the back stairs after Logan feeling like his puppy, Tess. As we reached the top, the group of students scattered along the hall was exposed to my view. I guess my trail had gathered and audience, and it looked like we would have one, too. I knew it had been a bad idea for Logan to come upstairs in his bloodstained outfit, and my being in his oversized clothes was not exactly an inconspicuous. Thankfully, most the blood on my body was covered because practically all the students started ogling us as we neared my room, and I tried desperately to ignore their raised eyebrows, skeptical looks and frighten glances.
Just ignore them, Marie, Johnny advised, voice full of fortification. And I felt the smile tug at the corner of my lips as I became conscious of the fact that he had called me Marie, and the tone that had been in his voice had sounded protective almost- Okay, so maybe I did love him. I bit my lip roughly trying to will the smile down until we at least got to my room.
"Go downstairs now," Logan commanded peremptorily, and the students obeyed like startled little puppies moving away at the sound of their master's livid voice, and I almost laughed.
Don't get egotistical, inner-Logan said as Logan punched in the code to my room and opened the door. How did he know the code? From Tess maybe? He held it open for me, glaring around at the slowly dispersing students behind us as I entered my room and then followed me into the room closing the door behind him. I sighed and walked over to the side of my bed and stared down at the literally soaked sheets, figuring I would not have been surprised if the mattress was, too. Oh crap, what a fucking mess.
And you're cleaning it up, too, Logan proclaimed, much to my annoyance. Yeah, yeah, later anyway. I let Logan's pants drop to my ankles, and kicked them off to the side, and then stripped the jacket off over my head, and threw it in the same pile with the pants. I stopped abruptly realizing that Logan was still in here. I turned around, probably blending in very well with the bloody bed and raised an eyebrow at Logan questioningly. He was standing there nonchalantly as if it would be normal. He did not think he was going to stand there and watch, did he? Whether things were strictly paternal or not, it was not going to happen.
You know what they say- show me yours, and I'll show you mine, and, well, you did see his…Did he not know when to shut up?
Shut up, John, Logan responded for me.
"Hurry up," Logan declared. If he had not noticed I was covered in blood, not to mention I was dirty as well. I narrowed my eyes menacingly. He was not going rush me and watch. I was going to take as much time as I needed, and I would do it in private.
"Logan, I want to shower and change. Could you go stand outside?" I asked, resolving to ignore his last demand and replying with as much patience I could dredge up from my subconscious. He stood there unresponding and unreasoning at first and then rigidly turned around to face the wall. That was not unerringly what I had had in mind.
It's the best you'll get, darlin'. And if anyone knew that, it would be him. I sighed feeling somewhat defeated and turned around to proceed to undress.
"Don't turn around," I demanded.
"Don't worry," he retorted. I rolled my eyes.
Close your eyes or sumthin, I demanded to John and Logan, who had already seemed to do so. Good boys. Now I would only have to partially worry about Logan. I did not think he would be a problem though if I did not make any sudden movements. I proceeded to wearily pull my shirt up.
"Oh my Gawd! What happened! I came in here and there was like blood everywhere again. Rogue, you better not tell me that it's 'the curse' because there was like 50 tons of blood on your bed, and I forgive you for what you said to me yesterday. Logan?" Tess exclaimed bursting into the room, her rapid succession of words barely comprehensible. I instinctively yanked my shirt back down and turned around to face Tess. The curse? Oh, yes, the menstrual cycle. She forgave me? Oh, please, I thought astringently.
What's with her choice of appearances? Johnny asked reappearing. I almost shrugged, agreeing with him that she did have a tendency to burst into places. I could see Jubilee and Kitty trying to squeeze in from behind her, pushing her forward through the doorway. Like rats, I thought, rushing forward to their food.
Interesting analogy. Cruel nonetheless, Johnny commented. Did he come with a comment for everything? That was what Kitty, Jubilee and Tess looked like as they stumbled into the room searching for gossip topics.
"Hey, what's, like, up?" Kitty asked. I removed my hands from my shirt and let my gaze fall beyond them in the hall. Damn it, was that Bobby in the hall? Wondered if that meant John or Ben were outside, too.
There goes your bestest friend, I announced acrimoniously. Bobby had seriously worked up a vast amount of repugnance in me for him. I was beyond tired of forgiving the unrelenting bastard.
Sorry Marie, I did not think he would ever do those things to you- Yeah, whatever. I zoned him out. I did not care to engage in a conversation about him at the moment. I glared at Bobby and brought my eyes back onto Tess, Kitty and Jubilee trying to ignore the returning tingling sensation in my knuckles. Logan was trying to herd them out as they continued to ask questions. Kitty took one good look at Logan, my bed and then me, all three of us covered in blood, and screamed.
The slowly dispersing students were hasty to their return. I brought my arms up across my chest to cover what skin I could. Not that it helped. I was still half naked, and they could still see that. Logan harshly shoved Jubilee, Kitty and Tess out stumbling into the hallway into the rest of the students and slammed the door furiously. That had been a scene if I had ever seen one… no pun intended.
"Okay…. I'll take my shower now," I said ineptly staring at Logan who I could actually… smell the irritation flowing off of. He grunted in response, this time not bothering to turn back around. I did not care. I would be in the bathroom anyway.
Logan your mutation is awesome, Johnny stated. It was. Smelling his emotion was… weird- in a useful kind of way. Now you'll know when to stay away. I walked to my dresser and pulled out a clean pair of clothes, ready to peel the clothes off my encrusted my body and jump into the shower.
The door slammed open again, startling both Logan and me. My clothes dropped out of my hand, and I turned to see a seething Tess- Jubilee and Kitty behind her- and a few students, including Bobby, watching from the hallway.
"This is MY room, and if I want to come in… I WILL!" Tess screamed at Logan. Oh fuck, would she not just give it up! Logan was going to kill her, and I was going to have no problem watching. Bobby stepped up closer to the door, pushing Jubilee out the way and leaning in to look at me. I reached down and grabbed my clothes from the ground, raising them up to cover my body. He looked at Logan, sizing up his clothes and my bed, and then me again, eyebrows raised.
"Damn, you literally really fucked her up bad," he commented. I stepped forward in rage, Logan simultaneously doing the same. My hands started to go numb. The feeling reached up into my wrist. I did not care, I was too anger to even fully notice. How long did Bobby think I would put up with his shit? Forever? Because I was thinking I had finally had enough. Logan got to him first, and I heard what I thought was a growl from him as he yanked Bobby, who had tried to back away, by his collar off the ground a couple of inches… feet. Kitty, Jubilee and Tess retreated cravenly into the hallway, and the rest of the students did not hesitate this time to start moving away. They moved back from Logan and Bobby like timorous sheep from a ravenous wolf.
Doesn't this look familiar, Logan noted. Yeah it did, a couple of nights back when Logan had threatened him about hurting Tess. You would think Bobby would freaking learn. The numbness had transformed to burning in my hands, and I disregarded it gritting my teeth irately as I watched Logan hold a pusillanimous Bobby in the air wishing I were the one doing the threatening, making Bobby cringe like the dismal dog he was. And wishing I had been the one closest to Bobby, so I could have been the one sending him plummeting into the hallway on the floor afterwards.
"Let me give you a little hint," he orated this to everyone in the hall, "don't ask to come in, don't burst in, don't even fucking knock, and maybe I'll get over the fact that I told you go downstairs five minutes ago."
The door slammed violently into the frame with a thud that had to mean it was in someway broken. Logan turned around again fury flowing off in waves again, and I realized felt the same way. His expression changed though and so did the scent coming off him. I tried to read his expression, his new scent.
Shock, Logan announced expertly knowing what it was. Shock? I did not understand. That I felt the same way? Bobby's statement had been directed to me as much as it had been toward him. I was just as angry.
You're bleeding again, Johnny pointed out, his voice eerily low. What? No, I had stopped bleeding a long time ago. Damnit. What did Logan and John know that they were not telling me?
"Marie…." Logan was staring at me, but his eyes were not directed toward mine. They were aimed lower. I looked down wanting to desperately know what was going on. There was blood dripping onto the floor on both sides of me. And the fiery feeling in my hands was suddenly brought to my awareness as I raised them in front of me and stared at them in revelation as the blood trailed down my wrist from the wounds caused by the six bone claws that had punctured through the skin between my knuckles.
XVI. Revelations