Not the Hair!
DW: Welcome back all you loyal fans! As you can see I have decided to extend the Hojo and Relena bashing! No longer is this a one shot fic!
Crowd: ::Cheers:: Hooray!
Jackie: Get on with the Disclaimer! We want Hojo and Relena torture! ::Glares::
DW: Alright Alright Alright Already! Here's the disclaimer: I own very little. If I own it, I'll mention it. If I don't say that I own it, then it isn't mine! Happy?
Jackie: Yes! ::Bounces away happy::
~ This takes place at the newly rebuilt Northeast High school. Basically it looks as though the fire never happened, much to Duo's sorrow. Curtains are still thread bare, bullet holes in the windows, doors with broken locks, ect. You get the picture! ~
DW: ::Stalks into the new, yet surprisingly crappy auditorium:: Great! School gets burned to the ground and not two weeks later, it's up and running again. ::Shouts:: Why o why do I deserve this punishment?
Hojo: ::Walks up on crutches and covered in bandages:: What's wrong with school? School is fun. You can learn a lot of fun stuff here. And the teachers are soo nice!
DW: ::Gags:: Good Lord, Kill me now!
Relena: ::Rolls up in wheel chair, covered in bandages:: Killing is bad! BAD! BAD! BAD! BAD! And school is wonderful! Just like my Hojo-wojo said!
DW: ::Barfs:: help me.::Ungodly sized hammer appears from Thin air:: YAY! (The Ungodly sized hammer in MINE! It's six feet tall with a foot and a half diameter for the top end. Made out of foam and duct tape with a smiley face sticker on the whacking part! I hit people with it when they annoy me!) ::Knocks Hojo off his crutches and hits Relena in the head.She passes out, Hojo goes into shock:: (He just can't believe that anyone could be so mean)
Jackie: ::Runs out door:: Aww.I missed all the fun didn't I?
DW: ::Looks smug:: Yep! ::Hoists hammer onto shoulder::
Jackie: ::Snaps fingers in annoyance:: Damn!
Dw and Jackie: ::Walk inside, leaving Relena and Hojo on the concrete::
~ At Drama later that day ~
Mr. Martin: Now that we are back in school, we can continue with out play!
Students: ::Groan::
DW: ::To Jackie:: The red, the green, or the Orange?
Jackie: Huh?
DW: Relena's new Hair color! Now, which one would look truly hideous?
Jackie: The Neon Orange definitely!
DW: Cool! ::Turns to John:: What do you think?
John: Orange! Most assuredly!
DW: Heero?
Heero: ::Pulls out gun::
DW: Ack! Don't do that! All I want to know what color would look horrible on Relena. Red, Green, or Orange? All neon colors.
Heero: Hnn.
DW: Orange it is then! Hey! I need help dragging the blonde bimbo into the dressing room! Who wants to help?
~ Hundreds of hands shoot up. ~ (People have attended Drama just to see Relena and Hojo Bashing!)
DW: Umm.Jackie of course, John, you know more about this stuff than us, Heero, you can drag her easily enough, and one more. ::Looks around at hopeful people:: Miroku!
Miroku: ME? Buddha has smiled upon me today!
DW: All you have to do is keep her unconscious! NO GROPING! It would be way too gross!
Miroku: Indeed! Even I would not stoop that low.
DW: ::Giggles:: Indeed!
~ And thus the five teens (Miroku is about sixteen in this fic!) made a pact to cause Relena a brain hemorrhage! Now to the Hallway! ~
Heero: 'Goddamn! She weighs a ton!'
Miroku: ::Stares at Jackie and DW's asses while drooling::
DW: 'Muahahahahahh.I am SO evil!
Jackie: ::Smirks:: 'Duo-kun!'
John: 'Hair dye! Hair dye! I get to play with Hair Dye!'
Relena: ::Unconscious from the many wacks from Miroku's staff:: ::Slobbers::
~ Into the dressing room! Dun Dun Dun. ~
DW: Prop her up here! ::Motions to a chair:: Now John, since you're the styling expert, how should we start?
John: Well, color first, then trim, but we should leave her as a uni-brow for certain!
Heero: ::Grins from 5ft away:: 'Muahahahahha'
DW: ok..Jackie! Got that hair dye mixed yet?
Jackie: Just about! 'Duo looks HOT as a brunette! I wonder if he has chest hair.'
DW: JACKIE!
Jackie: Commin!
~ And so the coloring begins! ~
John: And now we just have to wait 20 minutes for the dye to set, then we hose her off.
DW: ::Looks gleeful:: 'Then we chop off hair! But what should we do to the Bozo? Hmmm..Only one good torture a day..He is so lucky that it takes a while to plan out a really great torture!'
Jackie: 'Duo Duo Duo Duo Duo Duo Duo Duo Duo Duo Duo.'
John: And that should be it! Time to rinse!
~ And so the rinsing begins. Needless to say they used REALLY hot water and burned her scalp! ~
DW: The scissors please?
John: ::Hands her the scissors:: 'Dear god!'
Miroku: ::Stares at Jackie's ass, and DW's chest::
Heero: ::Laughs evilly inwardly::
Jackie: Whee! Snip Snip! 'Duo Duo Duo.Braid!'
DW: ::Snips off bits of hair here and there so that Relena's hair is shaved in some places, and short in others, and left alone in other places still. Knots the hair horribly in still yet more places:: Muahahahahahha! How does my creation look?
Jackie, John, Miroku: ::Looks ill::
Heero: ::Looks happy with the result::
DW: Find a mirror! I want her to see the product of her annoyance when she wakes up! ::Laughs evilly::
Heero: ::Goes and finds a really big magnifying mirror::
~ And to say the least, the five teens propped the girl who we all hate in front of the really really big mirror! Now we will be waiting for the scream that will sound off in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, ~
Relena: ::Shrieks so loudly that the mirror breaks:: (Like it took that much.her new hair style already cracked it)
Hojo: ::Manages to get into the room despite being beaten up several times, having two broken arms, and still being on crutches:: What is it my love? ::Catches sight of Relena's hair and vomits::
Mr. Martin: ::Become constipated for real::
Everyone else: ::Cheers from side lines::
Jackie: ::Plays with Duo's braid while sitting in his lap::
DW: My work for the today is done! ::Grins maniacally::
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Well, that's all for what was supposed to be a one-shot! But it isn't now is it? If you want to see a specific torture inflicted on one of the two insufferable people, send it to me by clicking on the small purple button at the bottom of the screen often overlooked by the majority of you! As for why Jackie is always thinking about Duo is easy to explain! She's obsessed! The next chapter is Hojo Torture! ::Crowd goes wild:: Yes! I'm good. And I've already got most of the next chapter hand written, so the more you review, the more quickly I will finish! Thank You! Good day and Good bye!
Signing out ~ DevilWench ~
DW: Welcome back all you loyal fans! As you can see I have decided to extend the Hojo and Relena bashing! No longer is this a one shot fic!
Crowd: ::Cheers:: Hooray!
Jackie: Get on with the Disclaimer! We want Hojo and Relena torture! ::Glares::
DW: Alright Alright Alright Already! Here's the disclaimer: I own very little. If I own it, I'll mention it. If I don't say that I own it, then it isn't mine! Happy?
Jackie: Yes! ::Bounces away happy::
~ This takes place at the newly rebuilt Northeast High school. Basically it looks as though the fire never happened, much to Duo's sorrow. Curtains are still thread bare, bullet holes in the windows, doors with broken locks, ect. You get the picture! ~
DW: ::Stalks into the new, yet surprisingly crappy auditorium:: Great! School gets burned to the ground and not two weeks later, it's up and running again. ::Shouts:: Why o why do I deserve this punishment?
Hojo: ::Walks up on crutches and covered in bandages:: What's wrong with school? School is fun. You can learn a lot of fun stuff here. And the teachers are soo nice!
DW: ::Gags:: Good Lord, Kill me now!
Relena: ::Rolls up in wheel chair, covered in bandages:: Killing is bad! BAD! BAD! BAD! BAD! And school is wonderful! Just like my Hojo-wojo said!
DW: ::Barfs:: help me.::Ungodly sized hammer appears from Thin air:: YAY! (The Ungodly sized hammer in MINE! It's six feet tall with a foot and a half diameter for the top end. Made out of foam and duct tape with a smiley face sticker on the whacking part! I hit people with it when they annoy me!) ::Knocks Hojo off his crutches and hits Relena in the head.She passes out, Hojo goes into shock:: (He just can't believe that anyone could be so mean)
Jackie: ::Runs out door:: Aww.I missed all the fun didn't I?
DW: ::Looks smug:: Yep! ::Hoists hammer onto shoulder::
Jackie: ::Snaps fingers in annoyance:: Damn!
Dw and Jackie: ::Walk inside, leaving Relena and Hojo on the concrete::
~ At Drama later that day ~
Mr. Martin: Now that we are back in school, we can continue with out play!
Students: ::Groan::
DW: ::To Jackie:: The red, the green, or the Orange?
Jackie: Huh?
DW: Relena's new Hair color! Now, which one would look truly hideous?
Jackie: The Neon Orange definitely!
DW: Cool! ::Turns to John:: What do you think?
John: Orange! Most assuredly!
DW: Heero?
Heero: ::Pulls out gun::
DW: Ack! Don't do that! All I want to know what color would look horrible on Relena. Red, Green, or Orange? All neon colors.
Heero: Hnn.
DW: Orange it is then! Hey! I need help dragging the blonde bimbo into the dressing room! Who wants to help?
~ Hundreds of hands shoot up. ~ (People have attended Drama just to see Relena and Hojo Bashing!)
DW: Umm.Jackie of course, John, you know more about this stuff than us, Heero, you can drag her easily enough, and one more. ::Looks around at hopeful people:: Miroku!
Miroku: ME? Buddha has smiled upon me today!
DW: All you have to do is keep her unconscious! NO GROPING! It would be way too gross!
Miroku: Indeed! Even I would not stoop that low.
DW: ::Giggles:: Indeed!
~ And thus the five teens (Miroku is about sixteen in this fic!) made a pact to cause Relena a brain hemorrhage! Now to the Hallway! ~
Heero: 'Goddamn! She weighs a ton!'
Miroku: ::Stares at Jackie and DW's asses while drooling::
DW: 'Muahahahahahh.I am SO evil!
Jackie: ::Smirks:: 'Duo-kun!'
John: 'Hair dye! Hair dye! I get to play with Hair Dye!'
Relena: ::Unconscious from the many wacks from Miroku's staff:: ::Slobbers::
~ Into the dressing room! Dun Dun Dun. ~
DW: Prop her up here! ::Motions to a chair:: Now John, since you're the styling expert, how should we start?
John: Well, color first, then trim, but we should leave her as a uni-brow for certain!
Heero: ::Grins from 5ft away:: 'Muahahahahha'
DW: ok..Jackie! Got that hair dye mixed yet?
Jackie: Just about! 'Duo looks HOT as a brunette! I wonder if he has chest hair.'
DW: JACKIE!
Jackie: Commin!
~ And so the coloring begins! ~
John: And now we just have to wait 20 minutes for the dye to set, then we hose her off.
DW: ::Looks gleeful:: 'Then we chop off hair! But what should we do to the Bozo? Hmmm..Only one good torture a day..He is so lucky that it takes a while to plan out a really great torture!'
Jackie: 'Duo Duo Duo Duo Duo Duo Duo Duo Duo Duo Duo.'
John: And that should be it! Time to rinse!
~ And so the rinsing begins. Needless to say they used REALLY hot water and burned her scalp! ~
DW: The scissors please?
John: ::Hands her the scissors:: 'Dear god!'
Miroku: ::Stares at Jackie's ass, and DW's chest::
Heero: ::Laughs evilly inwardly::
Jackie: Whee! Snip Snip! 'Duo Duo Duo.Braid!'
DW: ::Snips off bits of hair here and there so that Relena's hair is shaved in some places, and short in others, and left alone in other places still. Knots the hair horribly in still yet more places:: Muahahahahahha! How does my creation look?
Jackie, John, Miroku: ::Looks ill::
Heero: ::Looks happy with the result::
DW: Find a mirror! I want her to see the product of her annoyance when she wakes up! ::Laughs evilly::
Heero: ::Goes and finds a really big magnifying mirror::
~ And to say the least, the five teens propped the girl who we all hate in front of the really really big mirror! Now we will be waiting for the scream that will sound off in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, ~
Relena: ::Shrieks so loudly that the mirror breaks:: (Like it took that much.her new hair style already cracked it)
Hojo: ::Manages to get into the room despite being beaten up several times, having two broken arms, and still being on crutches:: What is it my love? ::Catches sight of Relena's hair and vomits::
Mr. Martin: ::Become constipated for real::
Everyone else: ::Cheers from side lines::
Jackie: ::Plays with Duo's braid while sitting in his lap::
DW: My work for the today is done! ::Grins maniacally::
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Well, that's all for what was supposed to be a one-shot! But it isn't now is it? If you want to see a specific torture inflicted on one of the two insufferable people, send it to me by clicking on the small purple button at the bottom of the screen often overlooked by the majority of you! As for why Jackie is always thinking about Duo is easy to explain! She's obsessed! The next chapter is Hojo Torture! ::Crowd goes wild:: Yes! I'm good. And I've already got most of the next chapter hand written, so the more you review, the more quickly I will finish! Thank You! Good day and Good bye!
Signing out ~ DevilWench ~