"All Fair In Love And War?"
"So James, what do you say? All Fair in Love and War," asked Lily Evans. James straightened to his tallest and replied," I've never seen a difference between the two. So yes, I believe so." Lily smiled," Excellent."
Authors Note: I would like to thank my two reviewers: Enchanted Spirit and Colleen. Thanks and I'm very happy that my reviewers think it's funny. I'm having loads of fun writing this so I hope you have loads of fun reading it.
Chapter Two: Opposite Sides Of A Galleon
Well, I'll tell you one thing. There is now someone in my life I actually *hate*. A James Potter, self-appointed prince of the wizarding world. Honestly! What are parents are teaching their kids today? Well, let me explain what happened first, shall I?
We first went to Gringotts the wizard bank. Where Kate and I exchanged our money and Artemis took some money out of her family's account.
After Artemis, Kate and I entered the bright sunshine outside, we headed to the first thing on our list: Uniforms.
"Damn," Artemis replied after I announced first thing we needed were uniforms," I hate uniforms. They restrict my right to individuality!"
"Oh, stop fussing. We only wear them during school days," answered Kate, causing Artemis to pout and stop whining.
"Well, now if I'm allowed to talk. We need to find somewhere to get this stuff," Lily said searching nearby shops.
"That'd be Madame Malkin's Robe Shop. Down this way some," announced Artemis leading the way.
Kate gave her a quizzical look and asked," How do you know that?"
"I've been here a couple times. But the reason I didn't know how to get in back there was I always travel via Floo Powder."
"Floo Powder?" Kate said skeptically.
Artemis nodded and replied," Yes, Floo. It's a way of transportation for witches and wizards."
"Oh," and with no further ado Kate and I followed the All-Knowing Artemis.
As we entered the shop a smiling, squat witch approached us, she was dressed in all pink.
"Good afternoon ladies! Hogwarts first years, I presume?"
"Yes ma'am," Kate replied politely.
After, I heard Artemis mutter," Suck up..."
I suppressed the urge to giggle.
The woman I assumed was Madame Malkin, put each of us on our own stool and left to the back to fetch some robes.
"Well, this is kind of boring," said Artemis staring at the ceiling.
"That's because you have the attention span of a two year old," replied Kate with a small laugh.
"Well at least I don't suck up to every grown person I meet."
Kate opened her mouth to retort but I beat her to it," Say another word and I swear the minute get my wand I'll blow you up into oblivion."
Kate shut her mouth quickly and didn't talk until Madame Malkin came back and started fitting her first.
I looked around the shop and saw three boys on the other side of the shop. One with short black hair, light brown hair, and another who had glasses and very messy black hair. The one with glasses was on the stool still getting fitted while the other boys watched.
Artemis leaned over and said," Wow, they sure don't make them like that in the non-magic world eh?"
I laughed and playfully pushed a smiling Artemis.
"Maybe we should introduce ourselves. I get the one with the cute bum."
"Oh stop it! Look, she's starting to fit you," I said as Madame Malkin threw a long robe over her head. Artemis, though still smiling, didn't talk.
I then stole another glance at the boys and saw the boy being fitted had finished and was now paying for his things. As he dropped the coins into the witch's hand he looked up and our eyes met for a second. I don't know what happened but my stomach gave a sort of twitch and I looked away quickly. I didn't look back until I heard the tinkle of the door sound.
After all three of us had paid for our robes we headed back out into the street and I looked down at the list.
"Next stop is...books," I said looking up at Artemis who smiled brought her hand up to her forehead in salute and replied," Aye, aye Captain! On to Flourish and Blotts!"
With that she marched up the street towards another shop.
After we'd gotten our books, which by the way were as heavy as a medium- sized St. Bernard, we headed of and got the small nick-knacks we needed. We got our cauldrons, phials, telescope and brass scales. After we came out of the shop Artemis grinned and announced," That leaves one last and final thing! Wands!"
Kate raised one eyebrow and said," We actually have to wave around sticks to perform magic?"
Artemis glared and replied," If I didn't like you when you're not skeptical I would pummel your face right now."
Kate smirked and said," We all know it's true Miss Temper Tantrum."
Artemis' face flushed red and she stomped off towards a shop named Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 B.C. I stared at the sign for a moment before Kate pulled me into the shop. As soon as the door closed it become strangely silent. Artemis sat in a small chair pouting, and a man with pale blue eyes walked out from the farthest row of thin boxes.
"Good afternoon Miss MacDougal, Miss Williams and Miss Evans. I was wondering when you'd be here."
I was officially creeped out okay. This guy knew my name and the names of my friends. Maybe he was some kind of stalker or-
Artemis whispered to me," Whatever you're saying in that head of yours, he's not a stalker. He's just a bit mysterious that way."
Oh, nevermind then.
He measured Artemis' left arm. Then started measuring her all over. Then I realized the measuring tape was doing it by itself. My mouth dropped open as it finished measuring and fell to the floor.
"Yes, I remember your parents' wands very well indeed Miss MacDougal. Your mother," he talked as he searched the many boxes for something," favored a wand of holly, the core was phoenix feather and it was about ten inches long."
He picked out two boxes then continued further down the row and began talking again," your father had one of beechwood with dragon heartstring, eleven inches I believe. And there we go. Shall we give these a try?"
He walked back to us with five boxes in hand, he opened the first one and handed it to Artemis," Holly with unicorn hair, nine inches, very supple."
Artemis waved the wand and a nearby lamp's light bulb burst. I jumped and Kate grabbed my arm.
"Ah, not quite. Let's see, how about this one? Willow, phoenix feather, eleven and a half inches long, good for Defense Against the Dark Arts."
Artemis reluctantly took the wand and gave it a wave, and an umbrella case behind Kate and I exploded. Umbrellas and canes flew towards the ceiling some puncturing the ceiling and sticking, others falling to the ground with a clatter.
Mr. Ollivander said," I guess not. Let me see..." He then turned to get another wand.
Kate walked up behind a stunned Artemis and snatched the wand away from her.
"Give me that! You're going to kill somebody," and she slapped the wand on the desk and retreated back to beside me.
Mr. Ollivander took out another wand and said," Ebony, phoenix feather, eleven and a half inches long. Great for Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts."
Artemis took the wand, purple and gold sparks flew out. Kate gasped and I grinned.
Artemis smiled and said," Great!"
"Next please, ah, yes. Miss Williams. Muggle parents of course, but a fine young woman all the same. I have the perfect wand for you."
He disappeared down a row of boxes a returned with one thin box. He opened it and said," Holly with unicorn hair, ten inches long. Give it a wave."
Kate took the wand and gave it a small wave. This time a long ribbon flew out of the end and tied itself into a bow. It then fell to the floor.
"Yes, yes just as I thought. Now time for Miss Evans."
I gulped and took a small step forward. He gave her a piercing stare and nodded. He walked down a few rows and pulled out three wands. He walked back and gave me the first one.
The first two didn't work and I'm not telling you what happened. Let's just say it wasn't pretty and leave it at that but in the end I was given a ten and a quarter inch long wand made of willow, really swishy. And he said it was good for charms.
After this we trooped outside and stopped in front of the shop.
"Well," said Kate looking at her watch," We still have 45 minutes before your mum picks us up. I was thinking since we all still have quite a bit of money left, we should buy ourselves an animal."
"Yah," replied Artemis with a grin on her face," you can buy a tea cup poodle. They're just like you, sweet on the outside, little devils on the inside,"
Kate turned a deep magenta and said," Why I oughta-"
Artemis smirked and egged her more," Catch me if you can Kiss Kate!"
Artemis ran up the street and Kate followed her screaming," YOU JUST WAIT ARTEMIS! I'LL KICK YOUR BUM FROM HERE TO JUPITER!!!"
I sighed and said," Here we go again..."
We walked out of the pet store, me with a new barn owl named Codie. Kate with a black owl named Hekate. And Artemis came out with a big bruise on her arm and a small, furry, black puppy that never grew up, its name was Aristotle.
We were all hanging out in front of the shop when some one shouted," OY! Watch your heads!"
All of a sudden a racquetball hit Artemis smack in the head. It took a while for Artemis to be able to see without her eyes crossing, but when she did the boy who had been in the robe shop on the stool ran up and snatched up the racquetball. She gave him the dirtiest look as her face grew steadily redder.
"Sorry girls," said the boy with a small smile as he rumpled the back of his hair making it even messier," I told my friend Sirius to be careful." And he pointed to the other boy with black hair who waved and gave a smile.
Man, were these boys hott. Artemis had been right, they sure didn't make them like that back home.
Artemis was apparently too mad to care," Look, watch where your throwing things! You shouldn't even be throwing things in a crowd like this you moron."
Something flashed in the boys eyes as he said," I'm terribly sorry, allow me to introduce myself. I am James Potter, those two dimwits over there are my friends Sirius Black and Remus Lupin."
"Dimwits is right," said Artemis quite audibly.
I replied," Don't be too witty Arty. He said he was sorry."
Artemis pouted and shut her mouth.
James smiled and said," How bout I bring them over?"
"Sure," I said politely.
He ran over to them and I saw they had a quick conversation. The boy named Sirius smiled, it was actually kind of scary. It had a mischievous vibe about it. And the boy named Remus frowned and said something and the other boys looked like they agreed. And then they made their way over.
The six of us talked for a while until it all went bad.
James brought some butterbeers and we all gave a toast hoping we'd al be in the same house. As soon as Artemis took a sip of her brink her hair turned Electric Blue.
Kate spat her drink all over the table and I choked as my sip went down the wrong tube. On the other hand, James and Sirius thought it very funny as Artemis asked what was wrong. Kate slowly took her mirror from her purse and handed it to Artemis. Then Kate and I both clapped our hands to our ears and braced ourselves.
Artemis looked into the mirror and...
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
And for the first time in my life I saw my best friend Artemis cry. She didn't even cry the time she was pushed off the slide by Jo Macintyre and broke her arm. She just punched him with her good arm as she was dragged off to the nurses office. But she sure cried this time. And amazingly enough Kate hugged her and tried to calm her.
I, on the other hand, was furious.
I walked right up to James who was clutching his stomach he thought it was so funny, and slapped him across the face.
He stopped his laughing immediately rubbing his cheek looking at me with awe. He had obviously never been slapped before.
"You-you-you bastard! I hope you're happy because that is the last prank you will be playing on any of us! And if you thought it was funny, you've got another thing coming to you! And if you are in the same house as me and my friends there will be hell to pay!"
James recovered and answered," Oh really?" He looked me up and down and I felt my temper rise even more. " Would you like to go out some time?"
My eyes widened at this.
"What? WHAT? You just made my friend cry because you turned her hair blue and now you're asking me to GO OUT WITH YOU???"
"Yes, I think it might be love."
"Love? Love... OH MY GOD, I'M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS!"
I took a deep breath then thought about it then asked," Have you ever heard the saying," All Is Fair in Love and War" ?"
James rose an eyebrow and said yes.
"So James, what do you say? All fair in love and war," I asked him coolly.
James straightened to his tallest and replied," I've never seen a difference between the two. So yes, I believe so."
I smiled and said," Excellent."
I picked up my butterbeer took a small swig and said," We're opposite sides of a galleon James. So I believe you have declared love," another sip," and I have declared war."
And I poured the ¾ of the bottle I didn't drink all over his shaggy black haired head.
"Have a nice day Mr. Potter," and I grabbed Kate and Artemis, dragging them off to the exit.
"So James, what do you say? All Fair in Love and War," asked Lily Evans. James straightened to his tallest and replied," I've never seen a difference between the two. So yes, I believe so." Lily smiled," Excellent."
Authors Note: I would like to thank my two reviewers: Enchanted Spirit and Colleen. Thanks and I'm very happy that my reviewers think it's funny. I'm having loads of fun writing this so I hope you have loads of fun reading it.
Chapter Two: Opposite Sides Of A Galleon
Well, I'll tell you one thing. There is now someone in my life I actually *hate*. A James Potter, self-appointed prince of the wizarding world. Honestly! What are parents are teaching their kids today? Well, let me explain what happened first, shall I?
We first went to Gringotts the wizard bank. Where Kate and I exchanged our money and Artemis took some money out of her family's account.
After Artemis, Kate and I entered the bright sunshine outside, we headed to the first thing on our list: Uniforms.
"Damn," Artemis replied after I announced first thing we needed were uniforms," I hate uniforms. They restrict my right to individuality!"
"Oh, stop fussing. We only wear them during school days," answered Kate, causing Artemis to pout and stop whining.
"Well, now if I'm allowed to talk. We need to find somewhere to get this stuff," Lily said searching nearby shops.
"That'd be Madame Malkin's Robe Shop. Down this way some," announced Artemis leading the way.
Kate gave her a quizzical look and asked," How do you know that?"
"I've been here a couple times. But the reason I didn't know how to get in back there was I always travel via Floo Powder."
"Floo Powder?" Kate said skeptically.
Artemis nodded and replied," Yes, Floo. It's a way of transportation for witches and wizards."
"Oh," and with no further ado Kate and I followed the All-Knowing Artemis.
As we entered the shop a smiling, squat witch approached us, she was dressed in all pink.
"Good afternoon ladies! Hogwarts first years, I presume?"
"Yes ma'am," Kate replied politely.
After, I heard Artemis mutter," Suck up..."
I suppressed the urge to giggle.
The woman I assumed was Madame Malkin, put each of us on our own stool and left to the back to fetch some robes.
"Well, this is kind of boring," said Artemis staring at the ceiling.
"That's because you have the attention span of a two year old," replied Kate with a small laugh.
"Well at least I don't suck up to every grown person I meet."
Kate opened her mouth to retort but I beat her to it," Say another word and I swear the minute get my wand I'll blow you up into oblivion."
Kate shut her mouth quickly and didn't talk until Madame Malkin came back and started fitting her first.
I looked around the shop and saw three boys on the other side of the shop. One with short black hair, light brown hair, and another who had glasses and very messy black hair. The one with glasses was on the stool still getting fitted while the other boys watched.
Artemis leaned over and said," Wow, they sure don't make them like that in the non-magic world eh?"
I laughed and playfully pushed a smiling Artemis.
"Maybe we should introduce ourselves. I get the one with the cute bum."
"Oh stop it! Look, she's starting to fit you," I said as Madame Malkin threw a long robe over her head. Artemis, though still smiling, didn't talk.
I then stole another glance at the boys and saw the boy being fitted had finished and was now paying for his things. As he dropped the coins into the witch's hand he looked up and our eyes met for a second. I don't know what happened but my stomach gave a sort of twitch and I looked away quickly. I didn't look back until I heard the tinkle of the door sound.
After all three of us had paid for our robes we headed back out into the street and I looked down at the list.
"Next stop is...books," I said looking up at Artemis who smiled brought her hand up to her forehead in salute and replied," Aye, aye Captain! On to Flourish and Blotts!"
With that she marched up the street towards another shop.
After we'd gotten our books, which by the way were as heavy as a medium- sized St. Bernard, we headed of and got the small nick-knacks we needed. We got our cauldrons, phials, telescope and brass scales. After we came out of the shop Artemis grinned and announced," That leaves one last and final thing! Wands!"
Kate raised one eyebrow and said," We actually have to wave around sticks to perform magic?"
Artemis glared and replied," If I didn't like you when you're not skeptical I would pummel your face right now."
Kate smirked and said," We all know it's true Miss Temper Tantrum."
Artemis' face flushed red and she stomped off towards a shop named Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 B.C. I stared at the sign for a moment before Kate pulled me into the shop. As soon as the door closed it become strangely silent. Artemis sat in a small chair pouting, and a man with pale blue eyes walked out from the farthest row of thin boxes.
"Good afternoon Miss MacDougal, Miss Williams and Miss Evans. I was wondering when you'd be here."
I was officially creeped out okay. This guy knew my name and the names of my friends. Maybe he was some kind of stalker or-
Artemis whispered to me," Whatever you're saying in that head of yours, he's not a stalker. He's just a bit mysterious that way."
Oh, nevermind then.
He measured Artemis' left arm. Then started measuring her all over. Then I realized the measuring tape was doing it by itself. My mouth dropped open as it finished measuring and fell to the floor.
"Yes, I remember your parents' wands very well indeed Miss MacDougal. Your mother," he talked as he searched the many boxes for something," favored a wand of holly, the core was phoenix feather and it was about ten inches long."
He picked out two boxes then continued further down the row and began talking again," your father had one of beechwood with dragon heartstring, eleven inches I believe. And there we go. Shall we give these a try?"
He walked back to us with five boxes in hand, he opened the first one and handed it to Artemis," Holly with unicorn hair, nine inches, very supple."
Artemis waved the wand and a nearby lamp's light bulb burst. I jumped and Kate grabbed my arm.
"Ah, not quite. Let's see, how about this one? Willow, phoenix feather, eleven and a half inches long, good for Defense Against the Dark Arts."
Artemis reluctantly took the wand and gave it a wave, and an umbrella case behind Kate and I exploded. Umbrellas and canes flew towards the ceiling some puncturing the ceiling and sticking, others falling to the ground with a clatter.
Mr. Ollivander said," I guess not. Let me see..." He then turned to get another wand.
Kate walked up behind a stunned Artemis and snatched the wand away from her.
"Give me that! You're going to kill somebody," and she slapped the wand on the desk and retreated back to beside me.
Mr. Ollivander took out another wand and said," Ebony, phoenix feather, eleven and a half inches long. Great for Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts."
Artemis took the wand, purple and gold sparks flew out. Kate gasped and I grinned.
Artemis smiled and said," Great!"
"Next please, ah, yes. Miss Williams. Muggle parents of course, but a fine young woman all the same. I have the perfect wand for you."
He disappeared down a row of boxes a returned with one thin box. He opened it and said," Holly with unicorn hair, ten inches long. Give it a wave."
Kate took the wand and gave it a small wave. This time a long ribbon flew out of the end and tied itself into a bow. It then fell to the floor.
"Yes, yes just as I thought. Now time for Miss Evans."
I gulped and took a small step forward. He gave her a piercing stare and nodded. He walked down a few rows and pulled out three wands. He walked back and gave me the first one.
The first two didn't work and I'm not telling you what happened. Let's just say it wasn't pretty and leave it at that but in the end I was given a ten and a quarter inch long wand made of willow, really swishy. And he said it was good for charms.
After this we trooped outside and stopped in front of the shop.
"Well," said Kate looking at her watch," We still have 45 minutes before your mum picks us up. I was thinking since we all still have quite a bit of money left, we should buy ourselves an animal."
"Yah," replied Artemis with a grin on her face," you can buy a tea cup poodle. They're just like you, sweet on the outside, little devils on the inside,"
Kate turned a deep magenta and said," Why I oughta-"
Artemis smirked and egged her more," Catch me if you can Kiss Kate!"
Artemis ran up the street and Kate followed her screaming," YOU JUST WAIT ARTEMIS! I'LL KICK YOUR BUM FROM HERE TO JUPITER!!!"
I sighed and said," Here we go again..."
We walked out of the pet store, me with a new barn owl named Codie. Kate with a black owl named Hekate. And Artemis came out with a big bruise on her arm and a small, furry, black puppy that never grew up, its name was Aristotle.
We were all hanging out in front of the shop when some one shouted," OY! Watch your heads!"
All of a sudden a racquetball hit Artemis smack in the head. It took a while for Artemis to be able to see without her eyes crossing, but when she did the boy who had been in the robe shop on the stool ran up and snatched up the racquetball. She gave him the dirtiest look as her face grew steadily redder.
"Sorry girls," said the boy with a small smile as he rumpled the back of his hair making it even messier," I told my friend Sirius to be careful." And he pointed to the other boy with black hair who waved and gave a smile.
Man, were these boys hott. Artemis had been right, they sure didn't make them like that back home.
Artemis was apparently too mad to care," Look, watch where your throwing things! You shouldn't even be throwing things in a crowd like this you moron."
Something flashed in the boys eyes as he said," I'm terribly sorry, allow me to introduce myself. I am James Potter, those two dimwits over there are my friends Sirius Black and Remus Lupin."
"Dimwits is right," said Artemis quite audibly.
I replied," Don't be too witty Arty. He said he was sorry."
Artemis pouted and shut her mouth.
James smiled and said," How bout I bring them over?"
"Sure," I said politely.
He ran over to them and I saw they had a quick conversation. The boy named Sirius smiled, it was actually kind of scary. It had a mischievous vibe about it. And the boy named Remus frowned and said something and the other boys looked like they agreed. And then they made their way over.
The six of us talked for a while until it all went bad.
James brought some butterbeers and we all gave a toast hoping we'd al be in the same house. As soon as Artemis took a sip of her brink her hair turned Electric Blue.
Kate spat her drink all over the table and I choked as my sip went down the wrong tube. On the other hand, James and Sirius thought it very funny as Artemis asked what was wrong. Kate slowly took her mirror from her purse and handed it to Artemis. Then Kate and I both clapped our hands to our ears and braced ourselves.
Artemis looked into the mirror and...
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
And for the first time in my life I saw my best friend Artemis cry. She didn't even cry the time she was pushed off the slide by Jo Macintyre and broke her arm. She just punched him with her good arm as she was dragged off to the nurses office. But she sure cried this time. And amazingly enough Kate hugged her and tried to calm her.
I, on the other hand, was furious.
I walked right up to James who was clutching his stomach he thought it was so funny, and slapped him across the face.
He stopped his laughing immediately rubbing his cheek looking at me with awe. He had obviously never been slapped before.
"You-you-you bastard! I hope you're happy because that is the last prank you will be playing on any of us! And if you thought it was funny, you've got another thing coming to you! And if you are in the same house as me and my friends there will be hell to pay!"
James recovered and answered," Oh really?" He looked me up and down and I felt my temper rise even more. " Would you like to go out some time?"
My eyes widened at this.
"What? WHAT? You just made my friend cry because you turned her hair blue and now you're asking me to GO OUT WITH YOU???"
"Yes, I think it might be love."
"Love? Love... OH MY GOD, I'M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS!"
I took a deep breath then thought about it then asked," Have you ever heard the saying," All Is Fair in Love and War" ?"
James rose an eyebrow and said yes.
"So James, what do you say? All fair in love and war," I asked him coolly.
James straightened to his tallest and replied," I've never seen a difference between the two. So yes, I believe so."
I smiled and said," Excellent."
I picked up my butterbeer took a small swig and said," We're opposite sides of a galleon James. So I believe you have declared love," another sip," and I have declared war."
And I poured the ¾ of the bottle I didn't drink all over his shaggy black haired head.
"Have a nice day Mr. Potter," and I grabbed Kate and Artemis, dragging them off to the exit.