Summary: Nick's the ass this time around, but why?

Disclaimers: The only character in this story that is all mine is Monica.

Spoilers: Anything up through the season finale of the 3rd season is fair game.

A/N: Thanks to everyone for all the great reviews! You all really know how to make a girl want to write more! J

"I'm sorry."

Those two words repeated over and over in Sara's head. It wasn't the words that hit her so hard, but the sound of Nick's voice. He sounded so defeated. So helpless.

Sara was standing right in front of the door. She was so close to being out of that house, and away from whatever was going on in Nick's head. But she couldn't bring herself to grab the door handle, open the door, and step out of his home.

She couldn't do it.

Not even five minutes ago, all she could think about was how badly Nick had treated everyone. And now all she could think about was the sound of his voice. The look in his eyes. His defeated body sitting, slumped over, on the couch.

She slowly put one foot in front of the other and made her way over to where Nick was sitting. "Nick."

He lifted his head, and looked deep into her soul.

Sara took a minute to examine his face. His eyes were now blood shot, and there were red circles around them. 'Did he look this bad when I got here?' She thought. 'I didn't even take the time to notice.' She scolded herself. His cheeks glistened in the light from the tears that had been slowly sliding down towards his chin.

She knelt down on the hard wooden floor in front of him, not even noticing how uncomfortable she was. "What happened to you?" She asked, her voice barely even a whisper.

"You should just leave, Sara."

"Do you want me to?"

Nick let out a small sigh of frustration. "No."

Sara could feel her legs falling asleep underneath her, so she got up, and sat down on the couch next to Nick, not too close, but close enough so that he could reach her if he needed to.

Nick took a deep breath, and prepared himself to rehash the events of the past day or so.

"Her name is Monica. I met her a few months ago at a bar. We got drunk. She invited me in. I didn't say 'No'. The relationship was just about the sex, for both of us. I guess it was about a week or two later that she told me she was only 23. She didn't look that young. And she reminded me so much of…." He paused, realizing what he was about to say, and then moved on. "She had just dropped out of college."

Sara kept her gaze on his face. Well, what she could see of his face. He didn't look her in the eye once the whole time he was speaking.

"She sent me a letter. I read it just before work yesterday." Nick stopped again, pulling the letter from his coat pocket. He held it in his now shaky hand.

Sara reached over, and placed her hand on top of his in a feeble attempt to calm him down.

"Sara… Just read it…. I can't –"

"OK"

Sara gently squeezed Nick's hand, and took the envelope from his grasp. She pulled the letter out, and began reading. Nick sat in silence next to her, still looking straight ahead.

She could feel tears starting to sting her eyes, but she couldn't blink them away. She couldn't bring herself to believe what she was reading. She did want to believe it. On one hand, Nick's 'playboy' lifestyle was just proven to her. As much as she had heard about it, she never did want to believe it.

And on the other hand, there was this woman who was willing and determined to take a life before it even had the chance to live.

Sara read the letter one more time, just to confirm what she had read the first time. She could feel a few stray tears sliding down her cheeks, and she quickly wiped them away.

After a few minutes, Nick knew she must have read over the letter a few times. And when she hadn't said anything he got a little worried.

"I know I'm a horrible person –"

"No, you're –"

"Yes, Sara. I am."

"Nick –"

Nick stood up in front of Sara, and looked her in the eyes for the first time. "This is my fault. Her getting pregnant is my fault. And now her getting an abortion and destroying a life is my fault. I shouldn't have run out on her the way I did. But I was so scared. I felt so horrible. I'm not ready to have a baby. She's right. And we didn't love each other. We were only together because it was fun. And now this baby has to suffer!"

Sara quietly stood up, and with little to no emotion at all said, "Then just go find her. Tell her you'll do whatever it takes. Marry her if you have to. Just don't let her get the abortion."

"Sara, I can't marry her. I don't love her. It wouldn't be right." Nick said turning away from her.

"Look, Nick. If you don't want her to go through with it, then you have to show her that this baby would be raised right. And if in order to do that, she wants to be married, and then do it. It's not like you have another girlfriend or anything. And in the three years I've known you, I've never known you to actually be in love with someone. You weren't even in love with Kristy. You even told me that." Sara's words seemed to drip with bitterness. She didn't even care how she sounded. She had lost a little bit of respect for her friend, and she needed to get out of there.

Nick was taken aback by her words. "Sara –"

"I have to go. I'm sorry. Uh…. I'll see ya at work… I'm sorry…." Sara wiped the remaining tears from her face before Nick could notice she'd been crying, and hurried to the door.

"Sara! Wait!" Nick called after her, but she was already out the door, in her Tahoe, and speeding down the road.

TBC

A/N: Sorry this chapter was kind of short, but it was loaded, so I wanted to post it as it is. I already have more written, but let me know what you think anyway!