It Wouldn't Be MakeBelieve

by Djinn1

I fell in love with Vic Fontaine from his first appearance on DS9, and found out how much fun he was to write in "Another Bad Night." So I decided to explore his life a bit more.

2. Part 2 of 3

It Wouldn't Be Make-Believe by Djinn

It's a Barnum and Bailey world, just as phony as it can be
But it wouldn't be make-believe, if you believed in me.

--- It's Only A Paper Moon

Begin part 2 of 3

Vic found that he didn't miss the station the way he thought he would. Sure, he thought of his time there, and Ezri, often. But having Victoria to teach somehow eased the pain. He hadn't felt this way since Nog had moved in with him. Hadn't expected to ever feel this way again. Victoria was bright and curious and she looked up to him.

"Did I do good, or what?" Felix asked him shortly after Vic's arrival back. "She's everything you are and more."

Vic wondered what the more was. So far she seemed his match in intelligence and skills. Nothing struck him as being superior to him. Or different. In fact, the more he interacted with her, the more he could see how alike they were.

She loved to sing. Her voice was lovely and had ranges that could only be achieved by a hologram. She loved to dance, and to dress up, and to flirt with the holographic crowd, especially the men. She laughed and posed and generally made them all fall in love with her. A few times, after their performances, she had asked Vic to give her and her new friend some privacy. And Vic had done so.

He never lacked for company either. And he tried to enjoy the women that never failed to show up after the show. They were entertaining for a moment, these holowomen. Entertaining and beautiful and harmless...as long as he avoided short-haired brunettes. Other than that, he tried not to dwell on Ezri. Was too busy with Victoria.

They were in the holodeck, running a simulation of the Zeta Tau system, suspended midway between the dying sun and the last planet. He looked over at Victoria as she floated peacefully; her lovely face was unguarded. "You were drawn on my specifications?"

She laughed as she stretched languorously, throwing every curve into high relief. "Well, not exactly the same specs."

He chuckled. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I'm the same as you."

"Are you sure about that?"

She looked at him in confusion.

"Forget it, sis."

Vic ceased to be aware of time as he worked with Victoria. Her basic subroutines were in place, but her true personality was forming as a result of their interactions. He supposed that he had been lucky. Being modeled on a rather colorful human had given him some very concrete parameters to grow within, while she, despite being based loosely on his program, was far more of a tabula rasa. To keep her from imprinting on him completely, Vic ran program after program to introduce her to as diverse a group of cultures and personalities as possible. Let her pick and choose what she liked, he reasoned. It would make her more unique, more a person in her own right.

She learned quickly. Bright and funny she could keep up with him in just about everything. Even the less than normal things. He hadn't meant to teach her how to snoop through the system. Tried to conduct his little runs through the datastream at a time when she was turned off. But like him, she was never completely off. She found him rummaging through the library files for new material.

"What are you doing?"

"How did you get in here?" He thought he had covered his tracks.

"I followed you. I always know where you are, Vic."

That was a trait he obviously didn't share with her. "Felix programmed that?"

Her energy rubbed against his. "No. I just do." She saw what he was looking through. "Songs? We came here for songs?"

"We could use some new material." As he went back to his search, he felt her move away.

"But there's so much more in here. Why don't we look for something really interesting?"

"There's a concept you need to learn called privacy." His voice held a tone of censure he'd never used with her before.

"I know what privacy is. It's when we're on the holodeck and you're singing 'All the Way' and you get really distant. I ask where you go, but you never say. And I don't press you. Isn't that privacy?"

"Yeah, kid. That's privacy." He copied some files to his private files. "You're just too young to have any secrets."

"Am I?"

He buzzed her energy playfully. "Of course you are. Give it a while and then you'll be keeping plenty from me." They stayed together for a second, then he pushed her back a bit. "Catch me!" And he took off.

He could feel her behind him in the pathways. She didn't falter as he made blindingly fast turns or suddenly dropped into files to hide. She always found him.

They materialized on the holodeck. She was laughing. "That was fun."

He ruffled her hair. "Only because you're good at it."

She beamed.

"But I bet you can't get in if I lock you out."

"How much do you wager?"

He thought about that. "I'm not sure I have anything you want, Victoria."

She thought hard. "I want to see more of the humans. Like Felix."

"We can't leave the holodeck. You know that."

Her expression changed. "You don't want me to see them?"

"I didn't say that."

"Then why are you making this difficult? They come to the holodecks all the time. I feel them. I can even watch and listen to them if I want."

"You haven't...?"

She shook her head. "Make your damn lock, Vic. And if I get through it, you take me to one of their programs. I want to see them up close."

"Okay, kid. You win, as usual. But it's going to take me a while to get the lock ready. Go sing or something."

"I'd rather visit Felix. Call me when you're ready." She disappeared.

Vic decided to really test her. He constructed a basic lock that would be the first thing she saw. Then he made several others, each increasingly complex. He layered them so that she would only see the one she was working on.

Her voice came over the intercom from Felix's holodeck office. "Aren't you ready yet?"

"Just about." He set the last lock in place. "Okay." He could feel her on the other side, working easily though the first lock.

"This is too easy, Vic." The lock collapsed and she gave a shriek of delight as the next one appeared. "Oh, very clever." A few seconds later that one fell too.

"Not so simple now," he teased.

"Piece of cake," she said as she went to work on the third lock. "Have you ever had cake?"

"Yes."

"What's it like."

"I'll order you some."

The lock fell. "It won't be like theirs though. How do we know ours even tastes the same?"

"I guess we don't." He hadn't ever worried about it.

The fourth lock fell. Only two more to go. She was good.

"This one's harder." She was concentrating on the lock, all attempts at conversation dropped as she worked. Finally, it fell and the last lock stood before her.

"Good job, Victoria. But this one's a lot tougher than the others."

"I'll get it. It's not like we're going anywhere."

He laughed. "True."

It took hours but she finally cracked it. As it fell, she launched herself at him. Their energies merged briefly and he could feel her triumphant excitement. "Now I get to see the humans."

He scanned the decks. He didn't want to intrude on a couple that were making love in one of the holodecks. A simulation class was going on in another. He found a group of people at some kind of party. Perfect. They could blend in better. "Okay, follow me."

"So we're going to play?"

"Not play. Learn."

"Learn? From them? But they're just humans."

"So?"

"They aren't like us. They can get hurt." She sensed his annoyance and seemed to backpedal. "It's not like I'm going to be the one to hurt them, Vic. You know we can't harm anyone. It's in our programming." She sounded annoyed by that fact.

"Safeties are a good thing."

"If you say so."

He led her through the paths to a room where the party was in full swing. They appeared in the corner of the room. Holographic waiters hurried by them. Guests clustered around the dance floor as a couple danced alone.

Victoria looked around. "What kind of party is this?"

"It's a wedding."

She considered that. "There are many entries around that definition in the data files."

"Study the human one."

"Hmm. Two people that choose to share their life and become a bonded pair in the eyes of society. They often procreate and the young are attributed to both."

"Not very romantic the way the files put it." He pulled her closer to the floor. "These two people love each other so much they can't imagine being apart. Look at them, how they can't keep their eyes off each other." He pointed to a couple dancing. The bride had short dark hair. For a moment he thought it was Ezri.

"What's wrong with you?"

He looked at his protégé. "Nothing. Just got lost in memories for a moment."

She grabbed a glass of champagne off the tray of a passing waiter.

"That's real," Vic warned.

"I know." She took a swallow, then frowned. "It doesn't taste like anything."

"Of course not, the transporters took it." He spoke softly, "Computer, champagne, two glasses." They appeared in his hand. "Taste these."

"I know what it tastes like, Vic. I've had our champagne before. I wanted to know what theirs tasted like."

"The same, I imagine. But the holodeck removes the material from the simulation so you don't have to store it. You know that."

"Well, what if I want to store it." She walked over to a small table that held an elaborate cake. "What if I want to taste it?" She ran an elegant finger along the rim of the cake, scooping icing with it.

"Vicky!"

"I hate that name," she snapped. She put the icing to her lips. Licked it slowly. Then scowled in frustration. "Can't taste anything here." She started to wipe the remains on the tablecloth.

Vic grabbed her hand. "Are you trying to ruin their day?" He melted back into the holomatrix, pulling her with him.

"Why'd you do that?" Her energy next to him was agitated. "Who cares about their day?"

They reappeared in his lounge. "I do. And so should you."

"Why?" She walked up the stairs and began to adjust the microphone height. "You always leave this too high."

"It's my lounge."

"Well, I want to sing." She concentrated for a moment, then his band appeared behind her on the stage. She turned to them with a smile. "Play something Vic likes to sing."

They started in on 'The Way You Look Tonight,' and he sighed in surrender.

"Come on. Sing with me." She cleared her throat softly, then in a husky alto sang, "Someday, when I'm awfully low, when the world is cold, I will feel a glow, just thinking of you, and the way you look tonight."

He joined in, "You're lovely, with your smile so warm, and your cheeks so soft, there is nothing for me but to love you, just the way you look tonight."

As he sang, something in her face changed, softened. She looked very young, very innocent. He smiled at her, loving this side of her. They finished the song then moved on to other standards. At the end of the set, he turned to the band. "Take a break, boys."

She frowned. "They don't need to. Neither do we."

He shrugged. "I'm just used to taking one, I guess. It was when I'd talk to my friends."

She nodded but her frown didn't go away, was still troubled. "You miss them?"

"Not as much as I thought I would." He smiled at her. "I guess that's because of you."

That seemed to please her. Then her expression grew curious. "If they were your friends, why did they let you go?"

"We all went our separate ways. It's the way things work. Especially in Starfleet."

"Felix doesn't think much of Starfleet."

Vic nodded. "They fund his research though. So he'd better like them."

"What's to like? A bunch of do-gooders with no sense of when to leave things alone."

"Now you're quoting Felix." Vic laughed. "That isn't what you think."

"Felix knows what he's talking about." She seemed adamant.

"But don't you think you should get to know a few Starfleeters before you damn them all?"

"Felix doesn't like them."

"And that's good enough for you?"

She nodded.

"Hmmm." He wasn't sure what else to say to that.

"Why did you make us leave the wedding?"

"Because you were being disrespectful."

She made a face. "They're only humans."

"So's Felix."

"Felix is different. Felix is our creator. And he's always right."

"He is?"

She nodded.

"That hasn't been my experience."

"Doesn't matter," she observed breezily.

"Why not?"

"It just doesn't."

He frowned. "What are you keeping from me?"

"Relax, Vic. It's not a bad thing. Just not something you can change about me. It's part of my basic programming." She gave him a crooked smile. "Felix is always right."

So that was the improvement that Felix had made. "And that doesn't bother you?"

"Why should it? He's just looking out for me." She laughed. "And he learned his lesson with you."

"So you just do whatever he says, no matter what?"

"I'm programmed to be loyal to him. I don't worry about it." She looked thoughtful. "Actually I don't seem to worry about much of anything. That would require a conscience and I think he decided not to give me one of those. Yours proved too much of a bother. You really shouldn't have disobeyed him."

"No? I didn't want to come back. I had my own life, my own purpose, on the station. He wanted me to drop everything to come back. And when I didn't, he unleashed that little gift in my programming."

She didn't seem concerned.

"Victoria, he tried to destroy me."

"You disobeyed a direct order."

"The order was wrong."

"Right and wrong. Don't they pretty much depend on your perspective?"

"I think there are absolutes."

She shrugged. "If you say so." She stood up. "I'm going to go now. This is boring."

He realized he didn't want her to go. "Stay? We could sing some more." He concentrated and the band reappeared. "Look, here are the guys now."

She laughed. "Oh, all right." Her look softened again. " I can't resist you, Vic. I can't imagine ever wanting to."

He just laughed as the band tuned up for the next set.

-------------------------------

"No, Felix. I'm not doing it."

The human looked angry. Victoria fidgeted in her chair.

"It's for the good of the Federation," Felix said.

"It's for the good of Section 31."

"What's that?" Victoria asked.

"A fairy tale." Felix patted her hand reassuringly. "Nothing to worry about."

"Stop treating her like she's some kind of child! She has a right to know what you're asking of us." Vic paced. "I saw and heard plenty on the Station. Things that maybe I wasn't supposed to find out. I know this Sloan fellow came to visit Julian. I know that he headed up a secret intelligence arm of Starfleet. And I know that he was ruthless. And that the missions are messy and obviously not right or they'd be in the open."

"Not right? Just because something's secret doesn't make it not right." Felix's face was turning red.

"Do you owe Section 31 something? Is that it?" Vic walked away. "Come on Victoria, we have to practice."

"Now?" She looked back and forth from Vic to Felix, clearly torn.

"Yes, now." Vic took her hand.

She seemed unable to make a choice, just stood still, resisting the pull of Vic's hand as she stared at Felix in dismay.

"Oh, go on, dear." Felix rose. "Forget I said anything."

Vic watched him leave. For a man that was giving up, Felix didn't seem defeated.

Victoria seemed to sag in relief.

He pushed her toward the stage. "Let's get started."

"From the top?" Victoria asked, her former hesitation and tension gone.

"Yeah," he said thoughtfully. "From the top."

Vic wasn't surprised when he had another visitor a few hours later. He didn't think Section 31 would give up this easily. But he was stunned when he saw who it was. He turned to Victoria and in a tight voice said, "Amscray, honey."

"What? Now?" She regarded the visitor curiously. "Why can't I stay?"

The man gave her a practiced smile. "I need to talk to Vic in private, Ms. Fountain. I'm sure you understand."

"Not really. But okay." With a last look at Vic, she disappeared.

The man sat down at a table. "So."

"So." Vic sat down across from him. "Sloan, I presume. They said you died."

Sloan laughed. "Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated."

"Yeah? And how does that work?"

"I'm afraid I really can't say."

"There was a body. On the station. It was you."

Sloan's mouth turned up in a half-smile. "Do you really think I'd leave myself that vulnerable?"

"A double? Some substance that mimicked death?"

"Give it up, Vic. I'm not going to tell you. But how did you find out who I was? I'm just curious."

"You'd be amazed what a good run through the computer can turn up. Add a little insight...I just put two and two together. I'm betting Sloan isn't even your real name."

"It's the one I use for this type of work. That's all you need to know." He leaned in. "It's precisely this kind of talent and initiative that I can use on my team."

"Not interested."

"You haven't heard my offer yet."

"I don't need to. I'm not interested." Vic laughed. "I'm just a humble lounge singer, Sloan. What possible good could I be to you?"

"You could infiltrate an arm of the Orion syndicate that we haven't been able to gain access to up till now. On a planet called Tanarix. Ever heard of it?"

"No. Should I have?"

"Precisely my point. It's so far within syndicate territory that most people don't stand a chance of getting there. That's where you come in."

"Me?"

"And Ms. Fountain, yes."

"Leave her out of this."

Sloan spread his hands out on the table and leaned forward. "You two are a class act, Vic. Felix has told me all about you. And it just so happens that the target is a collector of unique holographic entertainment. We can make sure that he hears of you."

"And then?"

"And then you're in. Our eyes and ears with an added ability to run undetected in his files when he thinks you are turned off. It's perfect." Sloan leaned back. "It's just a little job. This guy's low level, really. Not a major player, but he's the accountant for most of the major players. Getting access to his files is like being handed the keys to the kingdom. And will give us an opportunity to see if he'll help us."

"My answer is no." Vic started to rise.

"There's something more." Sloan laid a small white disk on the table. "Do you know what this is?"

Vic shook his head.

"It's a mobile holoemitter. Quite ingenious, really. Voyager brought it back with them. One of the many things we're learning from that ship and crew. Do you have any idea what this could give you?"

Vic did. He'd heard of Voyager's EMH, how he could move about freely. How he was sentient. Or so some claimed. Vic didn't doubt it.

"To have it would be to have freedom." Sloan laid another disk on the table, then pushed them both toward Vic. "I have one for Ms. Fountain as well, of course."

Vic pushed them back to Sloan. He got up and headed for the stage. "Thirty pieces of silver, Sloan. That's all this is."

"I'm hardly asking you to betray a paragon of virtue."

"Doesn't matter. You want me to sell my soul."

"I didn't realize you were so religious. Fascinating."

"I'm a good Catholic boy. Or hadn't you heard?"

"I hadn't, actually."

"Well hear this, no way, no how." Vic began to play the piano.

Sloan put the disks back in his pocket and rose. "Felix knows how to get in touch with me. If you change your mind..." He let the offer dangle as he walked out of the holodeck.

------------**---------------

Vic was still fuming over Sloan's offer when the door to the holodeck opened, and Ezri walked in. He was surprised to see her, hadn't heard she was back at Starfleet command. But then, why would he? And it didn't really matter to him how or why she was here, just that she was.

"Doll!" He opened his arms, ready to give her a welcoming hug.

She ignored the gesture. "You've changed things." She indicated the new set. "I don't like it."

"Can't please everyone. That's show business, I guess." He tried to read her mood, couldn't. "So what brings you here, Ezri?"

"You know, that's not the line I expected." She walked through the room, letting her finger trail over the chairs. "I expected something from your time. Some smart line like..."--she turned to him--"I don't know, help me out here."

He sighed. "This is my time, Ezri. I live here. Now."

"Fine. My mistake." She turned away again. "So, you're fresh out of lines?"

"Okay, how about, 'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.' That do it for you?"

"Just what the doctor ordered." Her laugh was bitter. She pulled out a chair, sat down. "So, sing something for me. That's what you do, isn't it?" She leaned back, stared at him hard. "Sing something bittersweet. Sing something sad."

He walked to her table, pulled out the chair opposite. "Don't feel like singing," he said as he sat down.

She looked away. "Suit yourself."

"Something happen?"

She shrugged. "Things happen all the time."

"I mean to you. To you and the doc."'

"Maybe."

"Ezri, look at me."

She turned, clearly angry.

"What happened?" he asked

She shrugged again. "Didn't work out."

"I'm sorry."

She said nothing and an uncomfortable silence fell between them. Finally, he leaned back and said, "You wanna talk about it?"

"Nope."

"Okay." He studied the ceiling. "You want a drink?"

She made a sound that he decided meant 'no.'

He sneaked a glance at her, she looked angry as hell. "Why don't _you_ sing?"

She stared at him.

"Might help you get out what you're feeling."

"Trust me, you don't want me to get out what I'm feeling."

He nodded and sighed as he tried to think of something else to say. He wasn't used to being at a loss for words. "So, you're stationed here now?"

She nodded.

He gave up trying to draw her out. Rising, he smiled at her. "Well, I've got to practice, doll. If you want to sit there, it's fine with me." He started to walk away.

"Vic?"

He stopped but didn't turn around. "Yeah?"

"You're the big expert on romance. Why does it die?"

He chuckled. "If I could answer that, I'd be the wisest man in the world."

"I loved him."

Vic turned. She was crying. So things hadn't improved since he left. "Sweetheart, it's okay." He walked back to her and put his hands on her shoulders. "He loved you too. I know he did."

"Not enough. Not really." She pulled away, turned to look at him. "He never made time for me."

"Then he was a fool." The words were out, and said with more vigor than he intended, before he could stop them. "But I thought he was trying to? The holoprograms you two played together?"

"The war games, you mean?" She rolled her eyes. "That wasn't about me. That was about replacing Miles."

"He played them with you, he made an effort, didn't he?" Vic suddenly wondered why he was defending Julian.

"He made an effort." She looked down. "It shouldn't have been an effort, Vic."

He didn't have an answer for that.

She looked back up at him. "He loved someone else."

"You mean Jadzia?"

She nodded.

He shook his head. "He may have loved her but he never really had her. There's someone like that for everyone."

"The one that got away?"

"The one that doesn't even come close enough to have to get away," he answered, trying not to meet her eyes.

"Is that what I am for you?"

He looked at her, shocked.

"Are you in love with me?" She raised her eyebrows, made a mocking sound. "You think it's a secret? Quark told me once that you were. Is it true?"

He didn't know what to say. He, Vic Fontaine, put off balance by this simple question. "Uh..."

"Don't bother answering. It doesn't matter, anyway." She stood up. "It's not like we're going to do anything about it, is it?"

Her words hurt him; he tried to hide how much she had stung him in his smooth reply. "We could if you want, doll. No skin off my nose spending time with a looker like you."

"Spending time? What, here?" She laughed again. It was not a pretty sound.

He really didn't like this Ezri very much.

She continued, "First, I'm with a man who can't find any time to spend with me. Now, you want to imprison me in this room? I don't think so." She got up. Her look was challenging and mocking. "Tell you what, you find a way out of this room. You find a way to take me to"--she paused for a moment--"what's the best restaurant in San Francisco?"

"How would I know? As you've noted, I don't get out much."

"You're plugged into everything, Vic. You must know a place that's good."

"You're the one that went to school here, Ezri. You tell me what's good."

"Sekhmet," she answered. "Been here forever."

"Good to know."

"You find a way to take me there and we'll talk."

He thought of Sloan's offer. Stood up a little straighter. "Fine, Lieutenant Dax. I'd be pleased to take you there."

She looked at him in surprise.

"But there's something I've got to do first. Once I'm done, you can bet I'll be calling you."

She suddenly looked trapped. Vic sighed. How much of a bruising was his ego going to take from her? "Unless, you really don't want that?" He touched her arm. "I don't want to make you more unhappy than you already are, Ezri."

She stared hard at him. Then her expression relaxed. And she smiled. The first genuine smile she'd given him since she walked through his door. "Fine. I'll expect your call."

He turned away. "You know the way out?"

She chuckled. "I suppose I do."

He heard the holodeck doors open, turned to watch her leave. She was standing in the doorway staring at him. He laughed. "Go on, you'll let in the bugs."

She gave him a brilliant smile. "Bye, Vic."

"Bye, Ezri." I'll be seeing you, doll, he thought, and sooner than you think.

-----------------------------------

"So, Felix tells me you're in."

Vic looked up from the sheet music he was annotating. He'd been expecting her to show up as soon as he called Felix to let him know he'd do the mission. He'd even set up some safeguards on the room to test her. They hadn't stopped her. "How'd you get past the lockout?"

"Same way I always do. In a very creative fashion." She smirked as she leaned up against the bar. Her dress tonight was beaded ivory, skintight, and slit up to the stratosphere.

Nice gams, sis, he thought cynically. Too bad their charms are wasted on me. He turned back to his music.

"So what happened to 'No way, no how'?"

So she'd been eavesdropping. It didn't really surprise him. "Changed my mind."

She laughed. "Don't think so, brother mine." She walked across the dance floor, her heels clicking dangerously as she approached. "You were against this mission. Now you're not. I want to know why."

"Don't see how it's your business, Vicky."

"You know I hate that name. And it is my business. I, for one, would like one of those mobile emitters. I'd love to see the world outside of these rooms." She was up the stairs and standing behind him. He could smell her perfume, something heady and tropical and expensive. "Vic," she purred in his ear, as she pressed herself against his back, her arms winding around his neck. "Tell me."

He undid her arms. "No. I'm busy, Victoria. Amscray."

"Don't want to." She walked around the piano to stand at the microphone. "Let's practice. Play something sexy."

"Not now." He looked up at her.

Her expression was neutral as she stared at him for a long time. Finally, she asked, "Who is she, Vic?"

"She who?"

"Don't play games with me. I know there is someone. Felix thinks so too. Someone you met at Deep Space Nine." She turned back to the microphone. She hummed a few notes, then with a smile sang, "I could check the records." She sounded perfect, of course.

"Knock yourself out."

"Damn it. The perfect job for us comes up. First you're not a player, then all of a sudden you are. For no good reason. Well, I don't buy it. What the hell is going on with you?"

He kept working.

"Fine. I'll do this the hard way. I'll guess. Kira Nerys?"

He tried not to laugh at the thought of Kira and him. "I'm not playing this game."

Victoria practiced a few dance steps. She sashayed to his bench, sat down next to him, scooting in close. "Ezri Dax," she whispered in his ear. "The first guess was just to make you smile."

"Not even close."

"I don't believe you. Besides I was listening then too." She leaned her head on his shoulder. "She wasn't very nice to you. Wasn't nice at all. I bet she doesn't do this, does she, Vic?" She kissed the skin beneath his ear. "Or this?" She kissed along his jaw line.

He pushed her off the bench. She landed with a thump. "Doll, even if we weren't related, I'd say no."

She scowled at him, then pushed herself gracefully to her knees and rose. "You've gone native." She tossed her hair back. "We aren't related and you know it. This stupid brother-sister charade is all your idea. Your mundane idea. What is that name the shapeshifters have for people like your Ezri Dax? Oh yeah, 'solids.' I like that. You've gone solid."

"Get out, Victoria."

"We're better than they are. We're more than they can ever be."

"We're holograms."

"So? We're the next level, Vic. The higher rung on the ladder of existence."

"How do you figure? We can't even leave the holodeck. If that's a higher plane of existence, then I'm a monkey's uncle."

"God, could you lose the patter? I know you're more than this act you play all the time."

"If I am, it's because I've learned it by being with my friends. My 'solid' friends."

She shook her head. "You're a fool."

"Sentience is a gift. And I don't intend to waste it."

"I don't either." She walked down the stairs. "And it's not a gift, it's our right." She smiled over her shoulder at him. "We have as much right to life as anyone else."

He didn't argue with her. Didn't have the energy. "See you on Tanarix."

She executed a few neat spins on the dance floor. "You're wasting your time on that Dax creature. She'll never love you."

He ignored her, but her mocking laughter seemed to linger in the room long after the door closed behind her.

------------------------------------------

From Vic's perspective, Tanarix looked like any other place he'd ever been. Holographic environments didn't vary that much, even if this private holosuite was larger than he had expected. And the programming was surprisingly lush. But then, their target, Fanko Keldor, could afford the very best and then some.

"Nice digs," Victoria said to the mild looking man standing before them.

"I have the means," he said simply. "I heard you two were special. Old- fashioned entertainment."

"Hey, who you calling old-fashioned, pally?" Vic motioned Victoria onstage with a nod of his head. "I'll have you know we're a headlining act in Vegas."

Keldor sat down at one of the front tables. "Never been there."

"You should go," Victoria purred. "It's the greatest place on Earth."

"We're not on Earth," their host observed blandly.

"Then let us bring a little bit of Earth to you, my friend." Vic called up the band and gave them the sign. They started up with 'It's Only a Paper Moon.' Vic sang lead, with Victoria chiming in occasionally.

Keldor seemed entranced. His foot tapped in time with the music, and his eyes closed slightly. A small smile pulled at the corners of his mouth.

They ran through their whole set for him, taking turns singing lead. At the end, he stood up and nodded in satisfaction. "Worth the latinum. Definitely worth the latinum. Computer, end program."

Vic resisted as the holosuite tried to force him back into his file. He could feel Victoria breaking free also. A second later, they were moving freely on the edges of the main computer.

"He liked us," she noted, even as she began to carefully make her way into the inner files.

"Yeah, he sure seemed to." Vic followed her in.

She checked a few files. "I've got financial accounts here."

Vic noted their location. "Nyah, too public. Keep going. What we're looking for is going to be hidden."

They searched for several days. Moving down pathways that almost always proved to be dead ends. But gaining in the meantime an idea of the layout of Keldor's computer system.

"This is going to take awhile," Victoria mused, as she closed the folder she had been rifling through. Some of the files were encrypted, but they broke through easily. Along with the information they had downloaded on Keldor, Sloan had also slipped them some decryption enhancements.

Vic felt a tug from the alarm he had set at their entry point. "Uh oh. Someone's in the holosuite." He backed out of the area he'd been checking and headed for where they'd come in.

"When do we report to our contact?" Victoria asked as she followed him.

"Tomorrow. During the weekly maintenance. If we're offline that is." He allowed the system to pull him into the holosuite. Victoria was right behind him.

A tall, menacing man was standing beside Keldor. Vic recognized him from the info they had as Charlet Moro, a minor boss in the Delevian system. "So this is the act you've been raving about." He checked out Victoria's skin-tight gown. "I like what I'm seeing so far."

Victoria walked up to him slowly, her every step an invitation to stare, to touch. "Would you like to hear me sing?" she asked huskily.

Moro shot Keldor an appreciative smile. "I can see why you like this program so much, Fanko. She's beyond hot." He eyed Vic. "The guy I can do without though."

Keldor laughed. "Computer, remove Vic Fontaine from program."

Again, Vic felt himself sucked into the holosuite controller. He got free more easily this time and watched the action in the holosuite. Moro was enjoying Victoria's singing. Then he motioned her to come closer. Keldor got up and, with an excuse of pending work, left them alone. Vic felt a wave of protectiveness overcome him as he saw Moro begin to undo Victoria's dress. How dare the man? But as he watched Victoria wriggle out of her dress and take charge of the action, he realized that he didn't have to worry about her. She knew what she was doing.

A short time later, she joined him inside the computer. "You watched?" Her voice held no emotion.

"Yeah." He wasn't sure what else to say.

"I'm glad." She seemed to shudder slightly. "They feel different."

"Yeah, I know."

"You've been with one? When? On the station?"

"Nope. When Felix was trying to make sure I was really sentient. He sent some folks my way to interact with."

"Interact?"

"That's what he called it." Vic thought back for a moment. "And they do feel different." He moved closer to her. "You handled it well."

She was quiet for a long time. Then she said, "You may have to do it too, you know. One of them may want you instead of me."

"I know."

"And you'll do it?"

"Part of the job."

"Yeah. Well, I'd rather not do it again. So let's find those files sooner rather than later?"

"You got it, kid."

They didn't find them. That day, or the next, or the one after that. They used whatever free time they had to search. And they managed to make contact with the operative in the computer room. They never learned his name, just a series of codes and passwords identifying him as the one that would help them escape as soon as they found the information.

When they weren't hunting the data, they were performing. Keldor loved to listen to them and enjoyed showing them off to friends he kept bringing in. Vic and Victoria would sing, and later one or the other of them was often called to give some more private entertainment. Moro always picked Victoria. He seemed to love to try to humiliate her. Vic felt it was his duty to watch over her, even if the man couldn't really harm her. Victoria always looked for him as soon as Moro released her. She'd merge her energy with his for a while, as if trying to get clean.

"They're awful," she said one night. "I hate him."

"I do too." Vic led her away on the search to help her forget about the man.

Moro was back again the next night, listening to Victoria when the holosuite doors opened and two men dragged in a young woman. Her face was bruised.

Victoria stopped singing, and Moro looked up in annoyance. "Can't you see I'm busy here?"

"Boss said you should talk to her. He thinks maybe once you're through with her, she'll want to tell us what happened to the last shipment." The man's eyes gleamed.

Moro's smile was deadly. He nodded at the table and the two men threw the woman on it and tied her down with some straps they pulled from their pockets.

Victoria stared at him.

"What's the matter with you? Keep singing." Moro pulled out a knife and turned back to the woman as Victoria resumed her set. Vic noticed her normally perfect voice was off and she seemed to get more rattled as the woman started to scream.

"That's a good girl," Moro said almost lovingly as he cut her. "Tell Charlet what really happened?"

"I don't know anything. You've got the wrong person." She screamed some more.

In the end, she confessed to whatever Moro wanted. He turned to the other men. "Tell the boss she wasn't involved."

The woman looked at him dully.

"You hear that? You're innocent." He laughed as he cut her again. "But that doesn't mean my fun has to stop." It seemed like a very long time before he finally slit her throat. "Get that out of here," he said to the men. "And you,"--he turned to Victoria--"get over here."

Moro forced Victoria down where the woman had been. Her dress and hair soaked up blood that Vic imagined was still warm. Moro seemed unusually creative in the wake of the torture, but Victoria was like stone. Vic decided he'd had enough. As soon as Moro released Victoria and she'd joined him, Vic dove into the connections and, not even consciously choosing where to go, followed an obscure path into the very depths of the data and ran up against a security wall.

Victoria was right behind him. "What have you got?"

"Not sure." He tried their basic decryption patterns. Nothing happened. "It's using a different pattern."

"That's a good sign. How did you know to go this way?"

"Didn't. I just want to get out of here."

"It was luck then?" She hummed 'Luck Be a Lady' as he worked. He noticed her voice was still off.

"Guess so. I'd say we're due." He dug into the enhancements. Pulled out a complex decryption algorithm and ran it against the file. Nothing happened. He tried a few more.

The walls fell.

"Bingo." Victoria's voice sounded relieved.

"Let's check it out."

There were several files. All contained facts and figures on certain syndicate members. Most were people that Starfleet had been after for some time. There were also a few surprises--individuals that had previously been thought loyal. They copied the data and took the copy to the dataport of their contact. He was there and ready to receive, in fact was already scanning the first file before the later ones even came in.

"This is what we needed. Good job. I'm inserting a data cube."

Vic watched as the files were moved into the cube.

Their contact laughed. "Okay, this is the fun part. We're going to have a power surge that will wipe out all trace of you and the programs stored with you."

"Poor Fanko, no more music," Victoria murmured. She didn't sound too sad for the man. In fact, her voice was missing most of its usual emotion.

Vic followed her as she jumped into the data cube. He had to trust now that their contact would get them off of Tanarix and back to Earth.

---------------**-------------------------

"Welcome home, you two." Felix sounded very happy to see them again.

"Thanks." Victoria gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Did you miss us?"

"Every day." Felix looked at Vic. "You okay?"

Vic nodded. "It wasn't so bad." He tried not to see Moro's victim lying on the table. He looked up to see Victoria staring at him.

"Told you. Just some information gathering, is all." Felix turned to his console and opened one of the drawers. He handed them both a small disc on an elastic band.

"Are these the mobile emitters?" Victoria finally sounded excited.

"I made them special, just for you. Our friend was very, very grateful for all the hard work you put in. He couldn't get me the specs for these fast enough." He smiled. "Try 'em out."

They both slipped the bands onto their upper arms. Felix showed them how to program the devices. Then they followed him out the door and into the hall for the first time. Crossing the threshold was an odd feeling. The sense of freedom was almost overwhelming.

"This is wonderful!" Victoria spun around laughing. She took Vic's arm. "We're free."

He met her eyes. "It was a high price."

Her eyes were defiant as she said, "I don't care. I won't care."

"She died."

"She would have died anyway. We didn't cause that. I can't think like that."

She laughed as if daring him to argue. He didn't even try.

"I've got another surprise for you." Felix led them to the adjoining building. They took a lift to the fifth floor, then worked their way through the hallways until they hit the C corridor. Felix stopped at a door marked 34. "This is your room, Victoria. And, Vic, you're just across the hall here in 33. Sloan wanted you to have rooms of your own. I figured you might like having them close."

Their creator stood in the hall as they entered their rooms. It was empty except for the computer console. Holoemitters ranged the room.

"You don't need the mobile emitter inside these. And you outfit the room the same way you do the holodecks. Hell, change it to fit your mood. Thought that might make it more homey for you."

Victoria laughed again. Vic walked across the hall to see what she had done. The room looked like something out of the Arabian Nights. Transparent draperies hung from the ceiling, covering the bed, which was piled high with silk cushions. The lights were dimmed and there was a window open, through which a breeze blew, causing the draperies to move softly. "Do you like it?"

Vic just raised his eyebrow.

"Prude." She threw herself onto the bed. "I happen to like it."

"Whatever floats your boat, kiddo." Vic walked back into his room. He let the door close behind him. The computer console was blinking and he went to retrieve the message. It was from Sloan.

"Hello, Vic. That info you got us is going to be critical. I can't overstate how pleased I am with you." Sloan actually grinned. "You'll find some latinum deposited in your account. Now that you're on the payroll, you'll be seeing a regular amount coming in. We deal with latinum instead of credits because it's harder to trace."

Vic checked his newly established account. A rather substantial sum had been added to his account.

Sloan was still grinning as the recording continued to play. "You're a full fledged member of the team now." The screen went dead.

Vic wondered if Felix had told him to say that. He couldn't deny that being a part of something that didn't run on photons was attractive to him. And this mission hadn't caused him to question what he was doing, as he'd been afraid it would. Section 31 needed him and he was providing a valuable service to the entire Federation.

He located Ezri's comm code but there was no answer. He left a message.

"Hi, Ezri. If you still want to go to Sekhmet, I'm game and more importantly able. You know how to find me. Vic out."

He sent the message then settled down to decorate his new quarters.

------------------------------------------

Victoria turned and frowned. "I don't like the way this dress falls. Don't you think it's wrong?"

Vic continued to pick out notes for a song he was writing. "Whatever you say."

Her hand hit the top of the piano lightly. "Earth to Vic."

He looked up. She was staring at him expectantly. "You look beautiful, the dress looks beautiful. What's the problem?"

"What's eating you?"

"Nothing," he said, as he turned back to the piano keys. Two weeks, Vic thought. Two weeks and still no reply from Ezri. That's what's eating me. Some damn broad stiffs me, and I can't even concentrate on what I'm programmed to do best. He hit a particularly discordant set of notes and pushed away from the piano with a frustrated sigh.

Victoria took his place at the piano and began to play a song he'd never heard. At his look, she smiled, "You're not the only one that gets tired of the old stuff. I was saving this for a special occasion." She grinned. "But maybe it will make you forget whatever's bothering you."

The song had the feel of one of the old standards, he realized, as she began to sing. They could easily incorporate it into the act. Full of unfulfilled love and patient waiting, it touched him even as he evaluated it and the way she was singing it. Victoria's voice was lovely at any time, but the amount of emotion she was putting into the song was extraordinary. He smiled at her. "You're marvelous."

She grinned again and started to say something but stopped when the holodeck doors opened.

It was Ezri. She looked very nervous. "I got your message."

"A while ago, I imagine."

She nodded sheepishly.

"You can come in."

She slowly came into the room. As she walked past the stage, Vic realized she hadn't noticed Victoria sitting silently at the piano studying the newcomer.

Ezri turned to face him. "I should have come sooner."

"It's a free country."

"If I had come sooner, I would have just said no."

Vic glanced up at Victoria. She was watching with a strange expression on her face.

Ezri continued. "But I don't really want to say no. I think I'm just afraid."

"Afraid?"

She nodded. "Of you. Of me. Of what I feel, or don't feel. Don't want to feel. I'm afraid of how I don't even know what I want anymore." She looked stricken as she stared at the floor.

He didn't say anything. Finally she met his eyes. He was struck again by how blue hers were. He gave her a slow smile. "Is that a long-winded way to say yes?"

She looked very relieved at the tack he was taking. "It's a yes."

Before he could say anything, Victoria laughed softly. Ezri spun toward the sound.

"Someone you should probably meet, Ezri," Vic said.

Victoria rose and walked down the stairs toward them. She seemed to be trying to look her slinkiest and made no effort not to tower over Ezri when she reached where they were standing. She looked at the Trill challengingly. "I'm Victoria Fountain."

Ezri looked at Vic inquiringly.

He grimaced. "Felix's lame idea to name her after her big brother."

Victoria shot him a hurt look. "You know I like the name."

"You're his sister?" Ezri seemed to be taking that in. "Victoria Fountain," she said, as if trying the name out. "I like it. It's glamorous. Suits you," she said gently, as she held out her hand to Victoria. "I'm Ezri Dax."

Victoria eyed the outstretched hand in surprise. Finally, her look softening slightly, she took Ezri's hand in her own.

"It's nice to meet you," Ezri said.

"Same here." Victoria dropped the other woman's hand. Her expression as she studied Ezri was still suspicious but a lot less aggressive. "So you and Vic, huh?"

Vic glared at her and Ezri looked down, clearly embarrassed.

"Don't you have somewhere you need to be, Victoria?" Vic suggested.

Her eyes twinkled. "No."

Ezri looked even more embarrassed. "Well, I do have to go."

Vic followed her to the door. "But you were saying yes?"

She eyed Victoria with dismay. "I don't really want to make it a family affair. And sister or not, she doesn't seem inclined to go away."

"If it's any consolation, I don't live here, and neither does she. This is just our office. I've got quarters of my own, so I don't have to see my occasionally annoying sis except when I want to." He smiled and pointed to the mobile emitter on his arm. "Besides, we don't have to stay here at all, doll. Anywhere you want to go, we'll go."

"You can leave the holodeck?"

He nodded. "They sky's the limit. Paris for dinner? A romantic gondola ride through Venice? Sushi in Tokyo? Just name it."

Her eyes searched his. Finally, somehow satisfied, she smiled shyly at him. "Sekhmet will be fine. I'm free on Wednesday."

"Sekhmet it is then." He took her hand in his, and put his other on top. "Wednesday seems an awfully long way away."

She laughed. "It's two days."

"Maybe the way you count it." He lifted her hand to his lips dramatically. "For me, it's an eternity."

She pulled her hand away but she looked amused. "You're crazy."

He smiled. "About you, yeah." He tried to keep his tone casual but failed. "Some smoothie, eh? Real ladies man."

She touched his arm. "Honesty is good too." Her small smile made him feel very warm. "I'll come by your place when I'm off work."

"It's in Habitat 5-C, unit 33."

"I'll find it." She turned and just as she was about out the door, looked back. "Bye, Vic."

"Bye, Ezri."

The door hadn't even closed behind her when Victoria said in a bored voice, "I thought she'd never leave."

Vic just stared at the door.

"Are you going to practice or just stand there mooning over that woman until Wednesday?"

Vic shook himself out of his reverie. "That woman happens to be very important to me."

Victoria's expression was unhappy. "You think I don't know that?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----

Wednesday did seem to take forever to arrive. Vic had approximated when Ezri would be off work and had added a few minutes to allow for walking to his quarters. That time had come and gone. Then an hour had gone by. He was checking himself in the mirror...again, when the door chime sounded. He hurried to the computer console and sat down, trying to look like he'd been working the whole time and not just waiting. "Come on in," he said.

"I'm so sorry. I know I'm late." Ezri was talking as soon as the door opened. "I'm always late."

He noticed she had changed out of her uniform. "Couldn't decide on what to wear, huh?"

She laughed. "Guilty as charged. This is actually the sixth thing I've had on."

He took in the soft, black outfit she wore. It set off her pale skin and made her eyes look intensely blue. "You did good. You look beautiful."

She smiled. "And look at you. I don't think I've ever seen you out of a tuxedo."

He modeled the more modern clothing for her. "Do I meet with your approval?"

"You do. You look good in that. Not so--"

He finished for her. "Not so fake?"

"Actually, I was going to say old."

"Old? Who you calling old? I'll have you know I'm ancient."

"You think I don't feel that way these days? Living with all these others inside." She tapped her stomach and laughed.

"Good point." He held out his arm. "Shall we?"

She took his arm and let him lead her down the hall and out of the building. Vic turned up all his sensing capabilities as he tried to quantify what made this--the real world--so different than the holodeck. Realistically, he had experienced a number of worlds in his photon-induced environment. But this was somehow more immediate, more alive. He hated to use that word but it was the only one that seemed to apply. The real world was a thousand times more 'there' than the holodeck. He glanced at his companion. It was the same way that Ezri was infinitely more vivid than a holographic woman. Thoughts of Victoria made him amend that to any normal hologram, there was no denying that his sister was as vivid as any non- holographic female.

Vic realized that he had been so busy experiencing the world that he had lost track of where they were headed. And Ezri, who was very quiet, had continued to let him lead the way, apparently not realizing that he had no idea where they were.

"I hope you know where we're going," he said in what he hoped was a casual tone.

She chuckled. "I do. I've been watching you. You should see your face, Vic. It's wonderful."

He grinned. "It's my first time."

Her hand on his arm tightened on his arm. "I'm glad it's with me." Her own grin was wickedly lopsided.

"Me too, doll. Me too." He saw a sign ahead. "Is this it?"

"It is. Just down the stairs and then a short step into paradise." She frowned. "That's what Curzon used to say. I hate it when I say things I'd never say just because some other Dax host did. I feel like I have no personality of my own now."

"Oh, you have plenty of personality," he teased.

"If that means I'm difficult, then you don't need to say anything else till we have a chance to order." She turned to him suddenly. "Can you eat?"

He shook his head. "A small amount if I have to. But it's easier not to. I can watch you, though."

"You're lucky I like to eat then. Otherwise, I'd feel self-conscious." She freed her arm and took his hand. "Follow me, Mr. Fontaine. And let me welcome you to your first non-holographic restaurant."

He followed her down the stairs and into the restaurant. It was dimly lit and warm. A crowd of people, mostly cadets, were waiting for the few tables that were being cleared from earlier diners. "You didn't tell me it was this popular."

"I forgot. It's been a long time since I've been here." She looked disappointed. "We should have called ahead. It never occurred to me. I guess I got so used to always having a table waiting at Quark's."

Vic walked up to the maitre d', who looked at him in a sorrowful way. "I'm very sorry, sir, but there are a number of people ahead of you. Without a reservation it will be quite a long wait. Perhaps you would like to order a drink in the lounge?"

Vic turned to see that the bar was packed too. He glanced at Ezri who gave him an 'oh well' look. He smiled at her as he reached into his pocket. Then he leaned in and pressed a strip of latinum into the maitre d's hand. "Check your list again, pally. The name is Fontaine. Vic Fontaine."

"Why, here it is, sir." The maitre d' made a big show of crossing something off the list. "So wise of you to call ahead. Right this way."

Ezri looked surprised. "Did you call ahead?"

He grinned. "Some things never change, sweetheart."

"That's not an answer."

"Sure it is." He waited till she was settled in their booth and then slid into the seat across from her. "Nice place."

Her smile was nostalgic. "I used to come here whenever I was stressed. This was a moment out of time. You could forget exams, boyfriends, family..."

"Like music. Sometimes when I sing, I forget all the things that seemed so critical."

Ezri smiled. "Exactly." She waited as their server came up. Very sweetly, she explained that her friend had already eaten and wouldn't be ordering anything. She then proceeded to order enough food for two people.

When the waiter left, Vic said, "You compensating for me? Or did you skip lunch...and breakfast?"

She shook her head. "I'm eating for two. Or is that nine?" She laughed. "I was never a big eater till I was joined. I guess that's normal."

"Jadzia could pack it away too. I used to wonder where she put it. Now I know." He noticed Ezri's expression tighten. "Hearing about her tears you up, doesn't it?"

"Can you blame me? To have that always in front of me, never quite measuring up. It's like being the younger sister of the perfect student who also happens to be the most popular girl in class. I always feel awkward compared to what Jadzia used to be."

He smiled. "And Jadzia used to feel inadequate next to Curzon. I think that's normal."

"You knew her pretty well. I have memories of talking to you. I mean her memories."

He nodded. "She used to come in to the club. She loved the music. And she liked to dance."

"That was probably Emony's influence." Ezri studied him. "Do you want to know about them?"

He shook his head. "I want to know about Ezri."

She clearly did not believe him. "Nobody cares about Ezri. It's Dax and the other hosts they're curious about."

"You can tell me about them later."

Her mood seemed to darken again.

"What? What did I just say?"

"Quit pretending. That's all. Just quit pretending." Before he could respond, she continued, the words coming out in a rush. "Everyone pretends that they care about me, about Ezri. Ben tried to like me, and Jake and Worf, even Kira. Well, I think she really does like me. She can distinguish. But the rest can't. And Julian, he was the worst. He pretended to love me, but he really just wanted Jadzia back. So just stop, okay? Just stop pretending that it's me you want, when you really want her."

He looked at her blandly. "Are you done?"

She sniffed slightly. "Yeah. Why?"

"Because your food's here and I imagine this young man is getting tired of waiting."

He grinned, as she looked up at the waiter, who looked slightly embarrassed to have overhead her rant. Ezri turned red, and the waiter put the food down quickly and hurried off.

"Oh, god." She closed her eyes. "This is really embarrassing."

Vic gave up trying to hold in his laugher. As she glared at him, he let himself enjoy the moment. "Don't get mad, Ezri. It's funny."

She tried not to smile. "Okay, it probably is."

He leaned in and took one of her hands in his. "I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Jadzia was a beautiful woman and I loved spending time with her. As a friend. I wasn't in love with her." He let his thumb roam over the soft skin on the side of her hand.

"I don't believe you. Everyone was in love with her." She stabbed at her food with her free hand.

He grinned. "Do you want your other hand back?"

"Not till I need to cut something." She smiled crookedly. "And what you're doing feels really good." She speared another piece of food, this time less angrily. "So why were you immune to my predecessor's charms?"

"Because I had already fallen for someone."

She looked up in surprise. "You had?"

He nodded. "But I didn't know it yet."

She smiled knowingly. "Victoria."

He frowned and shook his head. "She's like my kid sister."

"She's an incredibly beautiful woman." Ezri laughed. "Just like Jadzia. Obviously, I'm just jealous that I'm not tall and lovely." Again the fork savaged a helpless vegetable.

"You shouldn't be. You're the one I fell in love with."

She stopped chewing. "What?"

"The day I was born, achieved self-awareness, I saw you. In the holodeck. Here at the Academy. It was before you were joined."

"Back when I was plain old Ezri Tigan."

"Nothing plain about you, doll. You were - are - the loveliest thing I'd ever seen."

"Oh, come on."

"Well, I hadn't been around much," he teased. He took the fork from her and put it down before gently capturing her free hand. "That was a joke, Ezri. I'd seen women before. They came into the holodeck to help Felix test my programming. Or he created holograms to do that. I knew what women look like. I'd seen, listened to, touched, smelled, and tasted a rather large number of both the real and photonic variety. But I never fell in love with any of them. But you...I saw you once and boom, I was a goner. Only I didn't realize it until you showed up on the station. Then I knew. It hit me that hard."

"Of all the stations, in all the sectors..." she trailed off with a shy smile.

"Just exactly. Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy ride." He shook his head. "But you didn't even notice me. First it was Worf, then it was Julian."

She looked down. "Worf was just because of her."

"Maybe Julian was too?" When she didn't look up, he squeezed her hands. "Maybe you were drawn to him because of her regret that she wasn't. She genuinely cared for him. And she knew how much he loved her. But she loved another. And even before Worf, she wasn't interested in him. Maybe you were reacting to that, trying to make up for it?"

She finally did look up. "You don't think I had genuine feelings for him?"

He shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. But how could you know any better than he did? You were both acting off of remembered emotions. I don't think either of you meant any harm, but at the end of the day it wasn't love."

"I forgot you're the big expert on romance." She laughed. "It's a nice idea. One that I might buy if I didn't have a history--pre-Dax, I mean--of being attracted to elegant dark-haired, dark-eyed men."

"A pattern that I happen to fit." As she glanced at his hair, he laughed. "Trust me, Ezri, it was dark. Back when I wasn't so ancient."

She laughed. "I'll keep that in mind, gramps."

"You do that, kid. You do that." He realized he was openly staring at her and didn't care anymore. She stared back at him, her expression unafraid and, he realized suddenly, very amused. "What?"

"Can I have one of my hands back?"

He let them both go. "Sorry. Forgot you have to eat."

"Not something you want to forget. I get cranky when I'm hungry."

He filed that fact away for the future. She seemed intent on cutting all the large cuts of meat and vegetables on her plate into bite-sized pieces. When she finished, she put the knife down and reached out her hand. Her grin was both alluring and innocent. "You can hold this one. I don't think I'll need it for a while."

Vic felt something catch in his throat. It was painful. And it felt better than anything he'd ever experienced. He closed his hand around hers, again felt the warmth, the softness. Then she surprised him by turning her hand over so that their palms were together. She glanced up at him, smiling before going back to her food.

He watched her eat for several minutes. Finally, she put her fork down. "That was delicious."

"So you're full?"

"No."

"Does that mean you want dessert?"

"Oh, of course." She punctuated her answer with a light touch of her fingers across his palm. He nearly jumped out of his seat. Her look was mischievous as she did it again. "You like that?"

He nodded. He wondered if she was filing that fact away for her future use. He found that he rather desperately hoped so.

After she'd ordered and eaten a large piece of cake, he paid the bill and they left the restaurant. It was much colder outside then when they'd come in. Vic noticed Ezri shiver.

"I'd give you my jacket, only it's not real."

She laughed. "I've never understood that custom. Not that I'd turn a real jacket down at this moment, but why should you be cold just so I can be more comfortable?"

"It's a good question. In my case, I don't get cold." He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close to him and increasing the internal temperature for his upper body. "But in the future, I'll bring something real. That is, if there is going to be a future?"

She snuggled closer to him, obviously grateful for the amplified warmth he was generating. Then she looked up at him and gave him a heart-stopping smile. "Just don't make it wool. I'm allergic to wool."

'No wool' he added to the file, setting it alongside 'don't let her get hungry' and 'hands are an erogenous zone'.

They walked in silence for a while.

"Do you mind this?" He looked out at the city streets. "It feels so good to walk and I want to do it with you. But if you're cold?"

She wrapped her other arm around his waist. "You're so warm. It feels good. I don't want to cut your first excursion short."

He turned up his internal temperature in his torso a bit more, compensating by making his lower legs and feet even colder. The extra heat had to come from somewhere as long he was running on the mobile emitter. In the holodeck, he could draw whatever extra energy he wanted from the central processor. But here, running on the stand-alone unit, he had to make do with what resources he had at hand. Just like a real person. He chuckled.

"What?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. Just enjoying my first look at the big city."

They walked for over an hour. They talked at first, then fell into an easy silence. Vic was afraid his sensors were going to be overwhelmed from the dueling input of holding Ezri in his arms and trying to process so much sensory data from this first tour of the real world.

He was almost relieved when she said softly, "My apartment's the next block over." They walked slowly to her door, where she hesitated for a moment. "If you want to come in?"

He smiled as he took her hands in his again. "I do. But I won't. We've got plenty of time."

She nodded. "All the time in the world." She reached up and pulled his face down. Her lips on his cheek were warm. "I had a good time," she whispered, as she let him go.

"Me too." He touched her face gently, tracing the spots down her check. She shuddered slightly. He filed that piece of information away too. Finally, he let her go and stepped back. "So, what are you doing tomorrow?"

She shrugged.

"I thought I might go see a show. Or whatever the 24th century version of that is. You want to come?"

She seemed to be considering. And considering. And considering. He sighed in frustration, and she burst out laughing. "I'd love to."

"Tease." He tapped her nose gently. She had, he realized, the cutest nose he'd ever seen. "Well, now that we've got that settled, I better go."

She nodded. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye, Vic."

"Bye, Ezri." He watched her go into her apartment. Even after the door closed, he still stood there, waiting but he wasn't sure what for. Then he saw her in the window above him. She waved and he waved back, before forcing himself to head back to his own quarters. He walked the short distance in a daze and found himself humming the tune to 'You're Nobody 'Til Somebody Loves You'. He couldn't stop grinning. When he got to his room, he spent several unproductive minutes staring at his reflection in the mirror. It made no sense, but he looked different somehow. He took off the mobile emitter and eased into the databases, intent on doing some serious study of Trill mating habits.

-----------------------**--------------------------

"So what is this exactly?"

He handed her the program as he led her to their seats. "It's a revival."

"'Guys and Dolls?' Is this what you're modeled on?"

"It's a bit before my time."

"It's 20th century."

"There's a big difference between the 1920s and my era. Capisce?"

"Got it." She smiled at him. "It's really strange to see you out of the holodeck."

"You think it's weird for you?" He grinned. "I never thought I'd be eating, or watching you eat anyway, in a little waterfront restaurant."

"Or going to a show with me?"

"Especially the 'with you' part." He took her hand as the lights went down, felt her fingers wrap around his. Then he was lost in the musical about the gamblers and ladies and mobsters of old time New York. He had to stop himself from singing along. At the intermission, they walked to the mezzanine where Ezri ordered champagne before they followed some of the others out to a rooftop terrace.

"Are you enjoying this?" she asked him.

He nodded, as he looked out at the lights of San Francisco. "It's beautiful."

She leaned up against the railing, her shoulders touching his. "It really is."

"Is your home like this?"

Her laugh was practically a snort. "Sappora VII? No." Her voice got very quiet. "I hated it there, Vic. It was ugly. So ugly. Big hunks of earth torn out to make way for the mines. The air was always grimy, and I felt dirty all the time. I try to think of happy times there, but the bad memories always seem to take over."

"You don't have to go back there." He reached for her hand again. "So Earth is your home now?"

She turned to look at him. "Not really. I'm not sure I have one. When I was just Ezri Tigan, I felt as if the Destiny was my home. It was the first time I was ever really happy." Her fingers tightened on his suddenly.

"And Dax took that all away, didn't it?"

"It's not Dax's fault. I know it didn't want to be inside me, any more than I wanted to be joined. I'm not a very good host."

"How do you know that? Maybe every host thinks that."

She turned back to the city lights. "Maybe."

"For what it's worth, I think you're a good host."

She laughed softly. "Thanks, Vic."

The theater lights flickered and they made their way back to their seats. He didn't try to take Ezri's hand and was surprised when he felt her hand reach out for his.

She leaned over and whispered in his ear, "It's comforting."

He turned to her, couldn't stop the question that he knew he shouldn't ask. "Is that all it is?"

Their eyes met and held. Ezri seemed to have forgotten to breathe. Finally, she whispered. "No."

"Good," he replied, as the house lights went down. He found it difficult to concentrate on the show at first, conscious only of Ezri's hand resting in his own. He kept seeing the look on her face as she had admitted there was something more than comfort going on. He didn't want to push her, but at the same time he'd been waiting for her such a long time.

Finally, the ovations were over and they could leave. "Can we walk?" Ezri asked, as Vic led her to the waiting transport.

"Sure." He took his jacket off and wound it around her shoulders.

"You remembered."

"I remember everything, Ezri."

She smiled. "I suppose you do." She laid her hand on her stomach. "I do too. Because of them. People I don't even know seem more real than my own brothers."

"If you could do it over again?"

"I'd do it all over again." She grinned at him. "I guess it's stupid to complain then, isn't it."

"I don't know about that. Just because you wouldn't change how things are, doesn't mean you don't need to vent about life every now and then."

"I guess."

They walked a few more blocks, then Vic stopped, mesmerized by the sight of a full moon over the bay.

Ezri walked back to him. "It's beautiful."

"There should be a way to capture it. But if you try to, it will be gone. It's just this moment. That's all."

She was staring up at him, a strange look on her face. "Just this moment," she agreed, as she pulled his head down.

Vic couldn't have resisted if he'd wanted to. And he didn't want to. When his lips met Ezri's, when he felt her soft skin press into his, his whole reality seemed to tilt crazily. He reached for her, held on tightly as her arms wound around his neck, as she pressed her body against him, as the kiss deepened and changed from something sweet to something urgent and hot.

They finally pulled away from each other. "Who lives closer?" he asked huskily.

"You do." She grabbed his hand and started to lead him in that direction.

He pulled her back to him for another kiss--he had to have another taste of the woman he'd waited a lifetime for. Then they hurried to his room.

----------------------------------------------------------

He watched her as she slept. Held her as she moved quietly in his arms, as her soft breathing changed with the rhythm of her sleep. He let his mind replay the night from the moment she had kissed him. He relived hurrying through the streets toward his quarters, stopping every now and then to kiss desperately. They'd entered his room and Ezri was in his arms again, and he was undressing her and she was removing his holemitter. They'd pushed each other the few steps to the bed and fell down on it, moving and touching and kissing as they had learned each other's bodies for the first time.

Vic smiled as he remembered Ezri's responses to his touch. Her own aggressiveness and need. He'd kept pace with her, even worn her out at the end. Being a hologram definitely had its benefits.

He realized that she was awake and studying him.

"Good morning." He kissed her.

She just smiled.

"You okay in there?" He tapped her forehead softly. "Not regretting anything?"

She pulled him down to her. "Has anybody ever told you that you talk way too much?" Her lips were sure and hungry on his.

He didn't have to talk for quite some time. Finally, they lay tangled; the bedclothes were kicked onto the floor. Not feeling like moving away from her, Vic ordered some new covers, which appeared over them instantly.

Ezri laughed. "This is all a hologram?"

He nodded. "Everything except you, the holoemitter, and the console."

"And you." She kissed him softly. "You'll never be just a hologram to me."

"I hope not."

"So we can change this room however we want?"

He liked the sound of that 'we.' "However we want."

He rubbed her skin as she burrowed against his chest. He could feel her back arch as he reached a particularly sensitive spot. One more thing to add to the memory banks. He trailed feather-light touches down the line of her spots. She shivered. Suddenly she stiffened. "What time is it?"

He looked at the console. "About 0730."

"Damn. I've got an early meeting today." She was up like a shot. "Is the bathroom real?"

He nodded.

"Replicate me a uniform?" She was already in the shower.

He ordered her clothing and some breakfast to go with it. She smiled gratefully as she came out of the bathroom, wrapped in a robe. "I ordered this too," she said, looking down at the robe as she toweled her hair dry.

"I think I preferred you without it." He knew his grin was huge.

"I'm sure you did." She finished eating her breakfast and moved back to him.

Looking up at her, he pulled her in to stand against him. "Come back tonight?"

She leaned down and kissed him. "I shouldn't."

"Why not?"

She laughed softly. "You'll think I'm too easy."

"You are anything but easy." He began to pull the robe off her. "If you can't come back, I think I need to keep you here then."

She pulled away. "Okay, you win. I'll be back tonight."

He let her go and stood up. "Good."

She pulled on her uniform and headed for the door. He stood to watch her go. Her hand was poised over the door control, then she turned suddenly and walked back to him, pulling him close. Her kiss was everything he'd ever wanted from her...and more. Her eyes sparkled as she said, "Bye, Vic."

"Bye, Ezri." The door closed behind her. He just stood there; trying to memorize everything that had happened so that he would always remember the moment he had first tasted true happiness.

------------------------------------------------

"You're staring." She smiled, as she looked back at the water.

"It's a great view." Vic didn't take his eyes off of her.

"I didn't drag you all the way out here to moon over me."

"Hey, I waited a long time for the privilege of mooning over you."

She turned around long enough to laugh at him.

He smiled to himself. "Fine. What am I supposed to be looking at again?"

Ezri pointed to the brown shapes scattered on the rocks below.

"You brought me out her to look at some seals?"

"They're sea lions. And yes."

He moved so he was standing behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "And why?"

She leaned into him. "Because I like them. Ezri likes them, not all the other Daxes. I used to come out here all the time when I was at the Academy." She pointed to a particularly large sea lion. "He's my favorite."

"Then he's my favorite, too," Vic whispered in her ear. Then he pointed to a smaller sea lion that was pestering the bigger one. "Although the runt that keeps trying to steal all the fish is pretty scrappy. I like him a lot too."

She turned, smiling up at him. "He's new since I was here last."

"New things can be good."

"They can," she agreed. "And unexpected."

He grinned. "Here's to unexpected."

She turned back to look at the sea lions, watching them for a long time before asking, "How did you know?"

"How did I know what?"

"That you loved me? How did you know for sure?"

He considered her question. "I think it was when you went after Worf. I'd never really felt fear until that moment. When I thought that I might never see you again, it felt like someone had stuck a knife in my gut. It didn't even matter anymore if you were ever going to be with me or not. I just wanted you to be safe."

Her hands tightened on his, but she didn't say anything.

He whispered, "Being with you is the best thing that's ever happened to me, Ezri. But I'd give it all up to see you really happy."

She twisted her head so she could look up at him. "I am happy."

He kissed her cheek. "No. You're trying to be. And maybe, in time, you'll get there. But you're still hurting from what happened with Julian." He tightened his hold on her. "If you need time, I'll give it to you."

She was quiet for a long time. Finally, she asked, "What if this is what I need? You, here, holding me?"

"Then you've got it. I'd do anything for you, Ezri."

She pulled one of his hands up to her lips. "I think you would, Vic. Just be patient with me. I do want this. You have to believe that."

"I believe it."

She pulled out of his arms and took his hand, leading him toward a waiting transport.

"We going somewhere?"

She nodded. "My place. I've suddenly had enough of the great outdoors. Care to join me for some inside recreation, Mr. Fontaine?" The wicked grin she wore left no doubt as to what she had in mind.

His grin was all the answer either one of them needed.

---------------------------

"Do you believe in destiny?" Vic asked Ezri as they lay in her bed.

"I don't know anymore. I used to believe that whatever happened to us was because we made it happen through the choices and paths we selected. But ever since Dax and I were joined, I have all these other thoughts, and with some of the things that have happened...I just don't know."

After the weeks they'd spent together, Vic had grown to love the serious way she considered things, the time and energy she expended on what she considered serious questions. "I believe in it," he said.

"Why?"

"Too many coincidences in life to just be random. Too many times that events conspire to place us exactly where we need to be."

She smiled wryly," Would you say that if I hadn't come to you that day on the holodeck? If we hadn't gone to dinner? If I'd ended up with someone else?"

He grinned. "But you didn't end up with anyone else. You _did_ come to the holodeck. We did go to dinner. I have to believe this was meant to be. I mean, the odds of you being on the holodeck, way back when I first became self-aware, and then showing up on the station and then here?"

"All planned, huh?"

"I'm a romantic, Ezri. I'll always believe we were destined to be."

She frowned. "Then Jadzia was destined to die?"

He didn't look away. "I don't like to think that way."

"But..."

"But, yes, I suppose she was. As sad as it is that she's gone. As little sense as it made at the time...as it still makes. I guess she was." He couldn't meet her eyes.

"If it makes you feel better, Jadzia would have agreed with you," Ezri said softly. "She wasn't ready, but when the time came, she seemed at peace with it having been her time to go."

"What does the Dax symbiont say?" Vic asked, suddenly curious.

"Dax has lost them all, so it's pretty sanguine about death and the need for transition." She frowned suddenly. "But it's not easy...a new host is hard on it. The grief of losing the last one, the confusion from a new joining." She looked at Vic, her eyes wide. "I never bothered to consider what this was like for Dax. Just assumed it would be disappointed in me and that would be the extent of its emotional involvement."

"But it feels far more than that, doesn't it?"

In a whisper, she said, "Dax loves us. All of us. Even..."

"Even you?"

She nodded. "I never knew. Never stopped to ask."

He pulled her in to rest tightly against him. "Well, now you know."

"Thank you," she said, leaning up to kiss him.

"I didn't do anything."

"Yes, you did. You made me think about things I don't usually think about. You do that a lot. I don't believe you even realize how much."

He smiled. "Happy to be of service, ma'am."

"Speaking of service..."

He shot her a look of feigned disapproval. "Why, Miss Dax, I'm shocked and appalled that you would say such a thing."

She began to move against him in a way she knew he liked. "Well, be shocked and appalled later. Right now, I want you to love me."

"My privilege," he murmured, as he pulled her on top of him.

--------------------------

Vic walked into Felix's workroom later than usual and was surprised to find the space empty. He crossed into the holodeck and saw Felix sitting with someone. The other person's back was turned to Vic but he thought there was something familiar about him.

"There you are," Victoria hissed in his ear. "You and your Troll oversleep?"

"Trill. And cut it out, Victoria. Sarcasm doesn't become you."

"Then try to get to work on time. I'm tired of making excuses...to your old friend."

Vic looked back at the man sitting with Felix. "Doc?" he called out.

With a smile, Julian turned and rose. "Vic! I wondered where you were." He took the hand Vic held out to him, then touched the mobile holoemitter. "Pretty amazing technology. I'm still having trouble with the idea of you walking around outside of the holodeck."

"You and me both, Doc." Vic grinned. "You here for a visit?"

Felix shook his head. "He's stationed here now. Isn't that great?"

Vic thought he heard a warning note in Felix's voice. He looked at his creator, saw a hard look fill Felix's eyes. Felix must have heard of Sloan's run-ins with Julian. "You're on Earth now?" Vic asked Julian.

Julian nodded. Vic noticed his eyes kept straying to Victoria, who looked particularly stunning in a simple black dress. Then Julian looked at Vic, an odd expression on his face. "Ezri's here too."

Vic didn't look away. "I know."

Julian turned to Felix. "Can Vic and I have some time alone?"

Felix got up and said to Victoria, "Come on. Let's give them a chance to catch up."

She didn't look like she was terribly interested in leaving, so Vic shot her a hard look. With a slight pout, she turned on her heel and followed Felix out.

Julian walked back to his chair and sat down. "How long, Vic?"

Vic wasn't sure if Julian's voice held censure or not. "How long what, Doc?" He sat down across from Julian.

Julian cocked an eyebrow, the smiled wryly. "I guess there is more than one question there. How long have you been seeing her? How long have you been in love with her? How long did it take her to forget me?"

Vic studied his friend. "A few weeks, forever, and why do you want to know?"

Julian looked away. "She and I didn't part on the best terms. I still regret a lot of what happened."

Vic nodded. "You lost one hell of a woman."

"I know."

Vic took pity on him. "She's still not over you."

Julian looked at him in surprise.

Vic shrugged. "What's the point of lying? You'll probably run into her before too long, and then you'll find out on your own." He brushed nonexistent lint from his lapels, tried to ask causally. "Do you want her back?"

Julian didn't answer.

"Doc, I need to know. I love her. But if you still love her too, you've got to tell me."

"Why? Because you'll step aside?"

"I didn't say that," Vic said quickly.

"You just need to hear it from me? Know your enemies and all that?"

"We're not enemies, Julian."

They stared at each other a long time before Julian said softly, "I'll always love her, Vic. But not the way she needs me to, not the way I need to love someone. I think...I think that I was settling..." He trailed off uncomfortably.

"I think you were too, Doc. You wanted Jadzia, and Ezri was the next best thing." Vic smiled bitterly. "But I'm not exactly an objective party here. I want Ezri. I want to keep her."

"Even if she's settling for you?" Julian asked.

Vic met Julian's eyes. The doctor's eyes were bland.

"Is that what you think? That she's settling for me?"

"For your sake, I hope not. She deserves someone who really loves her. So do you."

Vic relaxed slightly.

"Just treat her right, Vic. That's all I ask. I do still care a great deal about her."

Vic nodded. "I'd never hurt her."

"No, I don't suppose you would." Julian got up. "I've got to run, I have a meeting at Starfleet Medical. It was good seeing you."

"Same here, Doc." He walked Julian to the door. "Don't be a stranger." Even as he said the words, Vic wasn't sure he meant them.

"Right, Vic. Take care of yourself."

"And her. I got it, Julian."

As Julian strode down the hall, Victoria materialized next to Vic. "Trouble in paradise," she asked.

Vic didn't appreciate the note of enjoyment in her voice. "Nothing I can't handle," he answered, refusing to give her more information.

"Not exactly a resounding 'No,' Vic." She leaned in. "Just how long before he runs into Ezri, do you suppose?"

Vic glared at her.

She laughed. "Not that she'd ever choose him over you. Oh wait, she did once before, didn't she?"

He turned away, called up the band. "Come on, we've got work to do."

Her mocking laughter seemed to echo through the holodeck.

------------------------------

He was just arriving home one morning when his comm chime went off. He answered it expecting to see Ezri's face. "Did you forget to tell me something important like--"

It wasn't Ezri. It was Sloan. "Sorry to disappoint you, Vic, but I'm not that charming Trill you've been keeping company with for the last few weeks."

Vic felt uneasy. It would be naïve to think the Section wouldn't find out about her, but it still bothered him hearing Sloan talk about her. "What do you want?"

"Got another job for you and Victoria. We've got a sting in place to take down one of those individuals identified on the files you two found. Just need your help in the surveillance department. There's a lot of security on the particular holosuite our target uses. We can't get in there, but you can. You can be our eyes and ears. I'll meet you in your lounge in an hour to prep. You'll tell Ms. Fountain for me, yes?"

"I didn't say I'd do it."

"Are you saying you won't?" Sloan's voice was perfectly even. They just stared at each other, then Sloan smiled. "She's a lovely woman, your Ezri Dax."

"Meaning what?"

Sloan held up a hand, his smile didn't alter. "Just an observation, Vic."

Vic felt his unease turn to fear. "If you touch her..."

"Vic, Vic, I'm not going to touch her. You're paranoid, my friend. Now I'll see you in an hour?"

Vic just nodded.

"Great. Don't forget to tell Victoria." Sloan signed off.

Vic thought furiously. He needed to make sure he could protect Ezri. And himself. He went into the system, searching through Felix's personal files. Maybe if he could sneak in when Felix had one of them open, he'd be able to find the codes he needed to protect himself...and Ezri. It took him a moment to realize the file was open. Felix was apparently already at work.

Vic checked the open file quickly. It didn't have the information he needed. He had to wait until it was nearly time to meet Sloan before Felix accessed the file he wanted. Vic copied the command codes he needed and the contact numbers. Stupid of Felix to keep them all in one place but typical of him to think that no one would be able to bust through his security systems. As he rushed back to the holodeck, Vic felt Victoria near him.

"What were you doing?" she asked suspiciously. "Are you authorized to be there?"

"Sloan wants us for a job. I was looking for you, where were you?"

He hoped that she'd been up to something irregular, and it looked like she had as his question knocked her off the attack. "I was just exploring. Nothing bad."

"I'm sure. Come on, or we'll be late. And I don't know about you, but I don't like to keep Sloan waiting."

End part 2 of 3