Chapter 7
Kara lay back in her bunk and closed her eyes. It was good to be home, such as it was.
She'd had enough sitting and doing nothing while she'd been down on the planet. She really didn't want more, but she was tolerating the flight rotation. It would be a couple of days before her name was back at the top of the list for long patrol. She certainly hoped that Tyrol could get a few more Vipers pieced together so her turn would pop up more often.
She had been back on the Galactica for most of a day, now. Lee had been true to his word, and in only two and a half hours a cargo ship had arrived with Chief Tyrol and a whole crew. It hadn't taken them long to load the Viper into the ship and bring it back to the Galactica. It hadn't taken much longer than that for Calli to find a dysfunctional circuit that had probably sparked the fire. On the Galactica or in space it wasn't an issue, but given too much oxygen a single spark had done a lot of damage.
If she had been a little disappointed when Lee had not been among her rescue crew, she had been more relieved. She needed some time before she could process and accept all she had told him, and all that he had said. The fact that the conversation should have taken place years ago didn't alter that fact.
She had acted out of character; that was for sure. So had he, for that matter. Maybe they had both needed to vent their feelings a little, or just needed someone to feel the same. Whatever had caused it, she was glad it was over and she wasn't looking for a repeat.
"You're in bed early," Sharon told her, returning from the showers with a towel around her hair and another around her body. As a distraction, Kara decided she would do.
"So are you," she fired back. "Not spending the night in enlisted quarters?"
Sharon sat down on her bunk, opposite Kara, and looked her in the eye. "Is that a problem?"
Kara couldn't quite define the note in her voice. It might have been challenge, but experience taught her there was probably some uncertainty as well. For all her rank and quick thinking, Sharon was still a rookie in a lot of ways. "Not to me," she finally said. "You know it will be to some of the crew."
"Not to mention the commander," she agreed.
"Did he say something?"
Sharon sighed and tugged the towel from her hair to dry it vigorously. "Not exactly. There was an indirect lecture on the importance of maintaining discipline in the working environment, and the potential difficulties associated with fraternization, but he didn't really name names. The word 'discretion' came up a lot, though."
"He wouldn't be direct," Kara said. "Not unless he had no choice, or a specific complaint to follow up. He mostly stays out of personal relationships."
Sharon shrugged. "Well, it looks like discreet is indeed the mantra," she admitted. "But I guess it's no worse than it was before. We're still sneaking around, and battling opposite shifts, and fighting just about everything else there is."
"If he's what you want, you just have to put up with it," Kara said, sitting up to face her friend. "It isn't going to get any easier.
"I know, but I was really hoping it wouldn't get harder."
"They're giving him a hard time on the deck," Kara told her. "He's probably just letting things cool down. I mean, most of us knew before the attack - if we knew you - but you guys have done everything now except formally announce an engagement. There's bound to be fallout."
"Yeah," she agreed. "How about you? Everything settling down?"
"Everything?"
"Well, I figured there'd be some fireworks with you and Captain Apollo back on the same ship. It's no secret that he doesn't get along with the commander, and you're a little more than defensive about him."
"He's a great commanding officer," Kara said, her voice taking on just the defensive note that Sharon was referring to. "We should all be defending him."
"My point exactly," Sharon said with a grin.
"We talked," Kara admitted. "He and his old man are talking, too. They'll work it out. I'm just staying out of it."
Sharon nodded, and began combing out her long hair. Kara decided that she wasn't likely to get any rest if she stayed in quarters, and she didn't like the way this diversion had turned personal. She wasn't much for sleeping during the day in the first place, and definitely not when others were around. "I'm gonna run," she told Sharon. "Be back in a while."
After grabbing shorts and her running shoes, Kara headed for the main passageway of the Galactica. She made several laps before slowing to a walk to cool down. The corridors weren't as crowded as they often were, but dodging people got on her nerves after enough time.
Two more laps of the Galactica, and Kara was feeling just as edgy as she had when she'd begun. She didn't like feeling restless, and wasn't sure what to do about it. When in doubt, she normally headed for her Viper. There was no telling who was flying it at the moment, but she headed for the flight deck anyway.
Kara settled herself into a quiet corner of the bay, sitting on a metal step. She rested her chin on her hands and watched the controlled chaos as Tyrol ordered his crew around while various ships eased into and out of the bay. The constant hum of activity was a lot more calming than her exercise had been. She had spent a lot of time down here over the years, and it was familiar when little else was.
She wasn't surprised that she was feeling out of place. The officer's quarters had tripled its occupants since the war had begun, so there was little familiar in there. The ship was likewise more crowded and noisy, again out of necessity. Everyone was still joggling for a place in the new system, and no one was quite fitting. She knew that. It didn't make the feelings any easier.
"Hey."
Kara smiled as she looked up at Lee. "I thought you were leading patrol," she said.
"Wrong again," he returned with a smile. "Just came in."
"I'm getting used to it," she remarked. "We talked about my skills before."
"So what are you doing?"
"Watching," she replied quickly. Then, meeting his eyes she decided on honesty. "Being bored out of my mind."
He grinned again. "Looks like we may be getting some more busy work," he told her. "We need some pilots to do some simple shuttling to distribute food. A pretty good cache has been located aboard one of the ships, but spreading it out takes time. How do you feel about being a volunteer?"
This time her smile was more genuine. "Anything," she admitted. "So long as it gets me in the air."
"I thought you'd feel that way. Get in uniform, and I'll meet you down at the shuttle to launch. Just don't leave without me."
"You just got in," she complained. "How'd you get two assignments in a row?"
"I'm chief pilot," he returned quickly as he turned to leave. "I make the schedules. Besides, I've got connections with the commander."
Kara couldn't hold back a laugh. When Lee reached down to her, she grasped his hand to pull herself up, and turned to follow him up the stairs towards quarters.
The mini-mission lasted only a couple of hours. As Lee had said, it was just a matter of shuttling food from one place to another. She took care of the flying, which left him free to manage all the diplomatic details such as arguing with various ship captains when they didn't feel they were getting their fair share.
She was always amazed that he could stay so calm with them, stating over and over again that the allotments were based on ship size and compliment, and that they were not negotiable. Some how, he managed all of it without having to hit anyone. Amazing.
The short "mission" was over before she'd really had time to settle in, but at least it had accomplished what she was sure Lee had intended. It had interrupted the boredom and got her behind the controls of a ship. Even the short hops from ship to ship was flying, and it was just what she had needed.
After landing back on the Galactica, she took care of shutting down systems while Lee checked in with the flight chief about ship performance and anticipated needs in the next few days.
Kara tucked her helmet under her arm and left the shuttle. She didn't see Lee, but she assumed he was managing more details and resolved to thank him later. She dropped her helmet off at it's hook, and walked into the Galactica's passageway.
She was almost back to her quarters when she paused in front of a nondescript hatch along a side passageway. She debated momentarily, thinking he really wouldn't be there anyway, before finally knocking on the door.
"Come in."
She took a deep breath and eased the door open. The room inside was small, despite serving as both home and office, and the lights were dimmed. "I'm sorry sir," she said quickly, preparing to back out the door. "I didn't mean to wake you."
"Don't worry about it," he told her as he reached for his glasses. "I wasn't asleep. Just resting a bit. Everyone thinks I was being generous giving up space, but the truth is that I wanted a bed in my office."
She laughed at that, but came in the door anyway. "I didn't mean to bother you," she began. "But I wanted to."
"To." William prompted.
"To see if you were okay," she admitted sheepishly. "A lot has happened, and I just wanted to be sure."
"To be sure the old man was holding it together?"
"Yes sir," she said softly.
He took a deep breath, gesturing her to the chair at his desk as while he remained seated on the edge of his bed. "I don't think any of us are really okay," he told her gently. "But it's getting better. Lee and I talked."
"He mentioned that," she said with a smile.
"We're a long way from being where we were, but I think we both know what's important now. I don't think he blames me, or you, for what happened."
She nodded, but didn't have any words to answer that.
"How about you, Starbuck?" he asked gently. "Holding together okay?"
She thought about that a moment, because she would never consider lying to this man, even inadvertently. She had too much respect for him. She might have omitted information in the past, from guilt or concern or fear, but she had never lied. "I think I'll be okay," she finally told him. "Lee and I have been talking, too."
He nodded at that, giving her another smile. "He was in quite a rush when he got back from the planet," William told her. "He wouldn't even wait until he was through the debriefing before he ordered Tyrol down to the planet."
"He would have been that way if he'd left anyone behind," she reminded him.
"You're right. I would have been, too, probably. I never liked leaving my men behind, even when I knew they could do the job better than I could."
"Didn't you always call that 'the responsibility of command'?"
He smiled. "I guess I did. He has a gift for leading, that's for sure."
"He gets it honest," she told him.
"Thank you."
She nodded in return. "I should go," she said quickly. "You probably have things to do. But I wanted to say," she paused for a long moment, took a couple of deep breaths, and then continued, completely changing the subject. "Thank you for talking to Colonel Tigh. I know he had every right to press charges. I'll try to keep my hands in my pockets around him from now on."
"What makes you think I talked to him?"
She didn't bother to answer, just thanked him again. She was almost out the door when he called her back.
"Kara?"
"Yeah?"
William stepped forward and gave her a one armed hug, patting her gently on the back as he did so. "Thanks for looking out for me," he said simply. "For both of us."
She swallowed tightly and returned the hug, then headed back towards her quarters. When she got there, Sharon was gone, and she had to wonder if her friend had given in and gone to see the Chief. Lee's uniform was on his bunk, three beds down from hers, so he was probably in the shower. The room was quiet for a change, and she settled into her bunk without even taking her uniform off. She was still lying there when Lee came in.
"You still awake?"
She shrugged one shoulder and didn't bother to open her eyes. "Just enjoying the quiet."
Lee didn't say any more. He didn't have to. They both knew how rare it was to get any time alone in the crowded quarters. She heard him rustling clothes and blankets while he dressed and got into bed, and she smiled when he told her good night.
"Night, Kara."
"Night, Lee," she answered. "Sleep well."
She didn't hear anything after that beyond his quiet breathing. At first, she didn't even really try to go to sleep. Peace and quiet were rare on the Galactica. But more than the quiet, right now she was enjoying the peace. She hadn't known just how great the burden of guilt had become until she had been forgiven. She hadn't realized how much she had worried about William Adama until his son had forgiven him. She hadn't known just how hard it would be to forgive herself, but she was beginning to do just that.
There was a lot to be said for sleeping with a clean conscience.
The End (finally)
Kara lay back in her bunk and closed her eyes. It was good to be home, such as it was.
She'd had enough sitting and doing nothing while she'd been down on the planet. She really didn't want more, but she was tolerating the flight rotation. It would be a couple of days before her name was back at the top of the list for long patrol. She certainly hoped that Tyrol could get a few more Vipers pieced together so her turn would pop up more often.
She had been back on the Galactica for most of a day, now. Lee had been true to his word, and in only two and a half hours a cargo ship had arrived with Chief Tyrol and a whole crew. It hadn't taken them long to load the Viper into the ship and bring it back to the Galactica. It hadn't taken much longer than that for Calli to find a dysfunctional circuit that had probably sparked the fire. On the Galactica or in space it wasn't an issue, but given too much oxygen a single spark had done a lot of damage.
If she had been a little disappointed when Lee had not been among her rescue crew, she had been more relieved. She needed some time before she could process and accept all she had told him, and all that he had said. The fact that the conversation should have taken place years ago didn't alter that fact.
She had acted out of character; that was for sure. So had he, for that matter. Maybe they had both needed to vent their feelings a little, or just needed someone to feel the same. Whatever had caused it, she was glad it was over and she wasn't looking for a repeat.
"You're in bed early," Sharon told her, returning from the showers with a towel around her hair and another around her body. As a distraction, Kara decided she would do.
"So are you," she fired back. "Not spending the night in enlisted quarters?"
Sharon sat down on her bunk, opposite Kara, and looked her in the eye. "Is that a problem?"
Kara couldn't quite define the note in her voice. It might have been challenge, but experience taught her there was probably some uncertainty as well. For all her rank and quick thinking, Sharon was still a rookie in a lot of ways. "Not to me," she finally said. "You know it will be to some of the crew."
"Not to mention the commander," she agreed.
"Did he say something?"
Sharon sighed and tugged the towel from her hair to dry it vigorously. "Not exactly. There was an indirect lecture on the importance of maintaining discipline in the working environment, and the potential difficulties associated with fraternization, but he didn't really name names. The word 'discretion' came up a lot, though."
"He wouldn't be direct," Kara said. "Not unless he had no choice, or a specific complaint to follow up. He mostly stays out of personal relationships."
Sharon shrugged. "Well, it looks like discreet is indeed the mantra," she admitted. "But I guess it's no worse than it was before. We're still sneaking around, and battling opposite shifts, and fighting just about everything else there is."
"If he's what you want, you just have to put up with it," Kara said, sitting up to face her friend. "It isn't going to get any easier.
"I know, but I was really hoping it wouldn't get harder."
"They're giving him a hard time on the deck," Kara told her. "He's probably just letting things cool down. I mean, most of us knew before the attack - if we knew you - but you guys have done everything now except formally announce an engagement. There's bound to be fallout."
"Yeah," she agreed. "How about you? Everything settling down?"
"Everything?"
"Well, I figured there'd be some fireworks with you and Captain Apollo back on the same ship. It's no secret that he doesn't get along with the commander, and you're a little more than defensive about him."
"He's a great commanding officer," Kara said, her voice taking on just the defensive note that Sharon was referring to. "We should all be defending him."
"My point exactly," Sharon said with a grin.
"We talked," Kara admitted. "He and his old man are talking, too. They'll work it out. I'm just staying out of it."
Sharon nodded, and began combing out her long hair. Kara decided that she wasn't likely to get any rest if she stayed in quarters, and she didn't like the way this diversion had turned personal. She wasn't much for sleeping during the day in the first place, and definitely not when others were around. "I'm gonna run," she told Sharon. "Be back in a while."
After grabbing shorts and her running shoes, Kara headed for the main passageway of the Galactica. She made several laps before slowing to a walk to cool down. The corridors weren't as crowded as they often were, but dodging people got on her nerves after enough time.
Two more laps of the Galactica, and Kara was feeling just as edgy as she had when she'd begun. She didn't like feeling restless, and wasn't sure what to do about it. When in doubt, she normally headed for her Viper. There was no telling who was flying it at the moment, but she headed for the flight deck anyway.
Kara settled herself into a quiet corner of the bay, sitting on a metal step. She rested her chin on her hands and watched the controlled chaos as Tyrol ordered his crew around while various ships eased into and out of the bay. The constant hum of activity was a lot more calming than her exercise had been. She had spent a lot of time down here over the years, and it was familiar when little else was.
She wasn't surprised that she was feeling out of place. The officer's quarters had tripled its occupants since the war had begun, so there was little familiar in there. The ship was likewise more crowded and noisy, again out of necessity. Everyone was still joggling for a place in the new system, and no one was quite fitting. She knew that. It didn't make the feelings any easier.
"Hey."
Kara smiled as she looked up at Lee. "I thought you were leading patrol," she said.
"Wrong again," he returned with a smile. "Just came in."
"I'm getting used to it," she remarked. "We talked about my skills before."
"So what are you doing?"
"Watching," she replied quickly. Then, meeting his eyes she decided on honesty. "Being bored out of my mind."
He grinned again. "Looks like we may be getting some more busy work," he told her. "We need some pilots to do some simple shuttling to distribute food. A pretty good cache has been located aboard one of the ships, but spreading it out takes time. How do you feel about being a volunteer?"
This time her smile was more genuine. "Anything," she admitted. "So long as it gets me in the air."
"I thought you'd feel that way. Get in uniform, and I'll meet you down at the shuttle to launch. Just don't leave without me."
"You just got in," she complained. "How'd you get two assignments in a row?"
"I'm chief pilot," he returned quickly as he turned to leave. "I make the schedules. Besides, I've got connections with the commander."
Kara couldn't hold back a laugh. When Lee reached down to her, she grasped his hand to pull herself up, and turned to follow him up the stairs towards quarters.
The mini-mission lasted only a couple of hours. As Lee had said, it was just a matter of shuttling food from one place to another. She took care of the flying, which left him free to manage all the diplomatic details such as arguing with various ship captains when they didn't feel they were getting their fair share.
She was always amazed that he could stay so calm with them, stating over and over again that the allotments were based on ship size and compliment, and that they were not negotiable. Some how, he managed all of it without having to hit anyone. Amazing.
The short "mission" was over before she'd really had time to settle in, but at least it had accomplished what she was sure Lee had intended. It had interrupted the boredom and got her behind the controls of a ship. Even the short hops from ship to ship was flying, and it was just what she had needed.
After landing back on the Galactica, she took care of shutting down systems while Lee checked in with the flight chief about ship performance and anticipated needs in the next few days.
Kara tucked her helmet under her arm and left the shuttle. She didn't see Lee, but she assumed he was managing more details and resolved to thank him later. She dropped her helmet off at it's hook, and walked into the Galactica's passageway.
She was almost back to her quarters when she paused in front of a nondescript hatch along a side passageway. She debated momentarily, thinking he really wouldn't be there anyway, before finally knocking on the door.
"Come in."
She took a deep breath and eased the door open. The room inside was small, despite serving as both home and office, and the lights were dimmed. "I'm sorry sir," she said quickly, preparing to back out the door. "I didn't mean to wake you."
"Don't worry about it," he told her as he reached for his glasses. "I wasn't asleep. Just resting a bit. Everyone thinks I was being generous giving up space, but the truth is that I wanted a bed in my office."
She laughed at that, but came in the door anyway. "I didn't mean to bother you," she began. "But I wanted to."
"To." William prompted.
"To see if you were okay," she admitted sheepishly. "A lot has happened, and I just wanted to be sure."
"To be sure the old man was holding it together?"
"Yes sir," she said softly.
He took a deep breath, gesturing her to the chair at his desk as while he remained seated on the edge of his bed. "I don't think any of us are really okay," he told her gently. "But it's getting better. Lee and I talked."
"He mentioned that," she said with a smile.
"We're a long way from being where we were, but I think we both know what's important now. I don't think he blames me, or you, for what happened."
She nodded, but didn't have any words to answer that.
"How about you, Starbuck?" he asked gently. "Holding together okay?"
She thought about that a moment, because she would never consider lying to this man, even inadvertently. She had too much respect for him. She might have omitted information in the past, from guilt or concern or fear, but she had never lied. "I think I'll be okay," she finally told him. "Lee and I have been talking, too."
He nodded at that, giving her another smile. "He was in quite a rush when he got back from the planet," William told her. "He wouldn't even wait until he was through the debriefing before he ordered Tyrol down to the planet."
"He would have been that way if he'd left anyone behind," she reminded him.
"You're right. I would have been, too, probably. I never liked leaving my men behind, even when I knew they could do the job better than I could."
"Didn't you always call that 'the responsibility of command'?"
He smiled. "I guess I did. He has a gift for leading, that's for sure."
"He gets it honest," she told him.
"Thank you."
She nodded in return. "I should go," she said quickly. "You probably have things to do. But I wanted to say," she paused for a long moment, took a couple of deep breaths, and then continued, completely changing the subject. "Thank you for talking to Colonel Tigh. I know he had every right to press charges. I'll try to keep my hands in my pockets around him from now on."
"What makes you think I talked to him?"
She didn't bother to answer, just thanked him again. She was almost out the door when he called her back.
"Kara?"
"Yeah?"
William stepped forward and gave her a one armed hug, patting her gently on the back as he did so. "Thanks for looking out for me," he said simply. "For both of us."
She swallowed tightly and returned the hug, then headed back towards her quarters. When she got there, Sharon was gone, and she had to wonder if her friend had given in and gone to see the Chief. Lee's uniform was on his bunk, three beds down from hers, so he was probably in the shower. The room was quiet for a change, and she settled into her bunk without even taking her uniform off. She was still lying there when Lee came in.
"You still awake?"
She shrugged one shoulder and didn't bother to open her eyes. "Just enjoying the quiet."
Lee didn't say any more. He didn't have to. They both knew how rare it was to get any time alone in the crowded quarters. She heard him rustling clothes and blankets while he dressed and got into bed, and she smiled when he told her good night.
"Night, Kara."
"Night, Lee," she answered. "Sleep well."
She didn't hear anything after that beyond his quiet breathing. At first, she didn't even really try to go to sleep. Peace and quiet were rare on the Galactica. But more than the quiet, right now she was enjoying the peace. She hadn't known just how great the burden of guilt had become until she had been forgiven. She hadn't realized how much she had worried about William Adama until his son had forgiven him. She hadn't known just how hard it would be to forgive herself, but she was beginning to do just that.
There was a lot to be said for sleeping with a clean conscience.
The End (finally)