Chapter Two: Detention
Snape cleared up the pink pudding with one wave of his wand, and marched the cast of Lord of the Rings, a still out of place Rose (from Titanic) and Harry to the Detention Room down the hall. This room was the typical Hogwarts room. Tall castle walls, candle lit and the all too familiar skeletons hanging by their thumbs from the ceiling. "Sit," Snape ordered, pointing to the multicolored inflatable chairs. Each chair was a different color, and they were all lined up as if they were normal classroom chairs. The only thing that seemed different was that there were no desks and the chairs were five inches from the floor. "I'm not sitting in those," Rose cried indignantly. "Yes you are," Snape replied. "Don't presume to tell me what I will and will not do, you do not know me," she cried. "Clearly you have lost all Sense and Sensibility, for I have married you, therefore I know exactly what you will and will not do," "Then you should know, that I would not sit in those chairs," "Sit!" Snape said firmly. "I should have married Jack," Rose cried making her way to the back of the room pouting. "Yes, but his heart is quite.frozen, by now, wouldn't you say?" He paused and there was a humorless silence followed by Snape's echoing laugh as he found his own joke increasingly funny. "Woo," he said wiping a tear from eye. "Take your seats," He rounded on the group cruelly. "All of you, now!" All stood still for a moment staring at the inflatable chairs. "I get the flowered one," Frodo called as he quickly ran to the middle front chair. After this, everyone not sitting, made his or her way to find a seat, including Samwise, who scooted a chair closer to Frodo, and made sure that he was as comfortable as possible. "Do you need anything Mr. Frodo?" Sam asked. Fordo kicked up his feet and stared at the ceiling as he began to twirl his hair. "Ummm," Frodo said as he bit his lip and turned to thought, "Got any gum?" Sam pulled out a piece of grape bubble gum and handed it to Frodo. "Here you go Mr. Frodo," Sam replied, "It's the last piece but you can have it," Harry Potter had taken his seat next to Frodo, rolled his eyes and turned to Aragorn and Legolas. "I think someone is trying to kill me," Harry told them. Snape who had been passing by turned to Harry. "Have you ever read your books Mr. Potter," Snape snarled, "Everyone is always trying to kill you." Harry stared blankly. "Are you trying to kill me?" he asked. Snape rolled his eyes and pulled out a piece of parchment labeled, "Ways to Kill Harry Potter" Harry quickly read the list aloud.
Dismemberment Lower slowly into a cauldron of liquid hot goo Dress as Hagrid, pretend to be best friend, and eventually hack head off ***Icicle (perfect murder weapon)*** Screamin' Green and Yellpin' Yellow Tinker Toys
Harry looked up in horror. "Screamin' Green and Yellpin' Yellow Tinkertoys?" Harry shouted, "You're sick, man!" "What?" Snape asked taking the parchment and putting it neatly in his pocket, "I like those colors." Snape turned on his heals and returned to his desk. Harry turned back to his conversation with Legolas and Aragorn. He was greeted by Legolas's suspicious stare. "So," Legolas said, "Who do you think is trying to kill you?" Harry shrugged. "Don't be so hasty to figure this mystery out Legolas," Aragorn said, "We need to find a way out of here first," Harry rounded on Frodo whose gum chewing and hair twirling had become increasingly annoying, and shouted, "Knock that off!" "Mr.. Frodo needs his gum," Sam commented. "Besides," Frodo said wrapping another piece of hair around his finger, "This is the only way to keep my curls curled. I left my curling iron at Bag End," "Oh here you go Mr. Frodo," Sam replied, " I packed it before we left the Shire," Frodo blew and enormous bubble which popped very loudly. Legolas jumped to his feet, put an arrow in his bow, and pointed it dangerously at Frodo's head saying, "Hold you gum!" Suddenly Snape looked up in interest, and added "arrow to head" on his "Ways to Kill Harry" list. "Will you hold it for me?" Frodo whined as he chucked it as Legolas's silky smooth, fake blonde hair. "That's it!" Legolas yelled as Frodo turned his back to him. He released the arrow only to find it disappointedly bouncing off Frodo's head. Frodo, without turning around, parted the hair on the back of his head. "Mithril!" Legolas cried astonished. "You come well prepared young hobbit," Aragorn told him, "But not always to the liking of others." Aragorn turned around as he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder. Arwen sat innocently holding out a piece of paper folded creatively and labeled, "Aragomi". "I wrote you a note," she said. Aragorn took the paper, and stubbornly threw it to the floor, and Arwen turned away pouting. Gimli who had fallen asleep, with loud snores everyone tried hard to ignore, began talking in his sleep. "Really bad eggs." he grumbled. The classroom stared in confusion as he continued: "Drink up me hearties yo ho!" "Is there something he wants to tell us?" Merry shouted across the room. "Piracy's the only way," Gimli added. Everyone rolled their eyes and went back to their business. "We still need to find a way out of here so we can find out who's trying to kill me," Harry said. "I know a way out," Merry cried proudly, pulling out a firecracker. "Where did you get that?" Harry asked. "Pocket's, Potter," Pippin spat across the room. Harry wiped his glasses. The firecracker was shaped, oddly enough, as Cartman. "Who's that?" Arwen asked. "Cartman, haven't you every watched South Park?" Pippin asked. Merry and Pippin looked to each other and quoted simultaneously, "Screw you guys, I'm going home!" and erupted in laughter. "Come on, light it," Legolas urged the stupid fat hobbits. Pippin pulled out a match and lit the firecracker. "You're supposed to stick it in the ground," Merry said. "There is no ground!" Pippin replied. They both stared at each before screaming, "Run!" Gimli awoke with a start. "Rum?" He shouted. "Everyone run, quickly!" Aragorn yelled. He looked to see if Snape had noticed the chaos, but found him bopping his head to his headphones singing softly, "My loneliness, is killing me," In an unexpected high pitch screech. Aragorn shook his head in disgust, and caught up with everyone else at the door. He followed their gaze to see Gandalf looking into space smoking his weed. Gandalf gave a great puff, and instead of a lovely sailboat, he manipulated the smoke to form a quickly sinking Titanic. "It still doesn't look any bigger than the Mortania," Rose said. Everyone turned to her with eyebrows raised for a moment, then turned back to Gandalf. The firecracker went off, and Aragorn began to usher everyone out to the hallway as the room began to catch fire. Frodo lingered behind and stretched out a reaching hand towards Gandalf and yelled, "Gandalf!!!" (In slow motion, if you want to make this dramatic). Boromir swiftly lifted Frodo from the floor, turned around a set him down in the hallway. "He's gone, Frodo," Boromir said shaking Frodo melodramatically, "He's gone!" "I know," Frodo, said, "I'm over it," Boromir turned from Frodo and announced, "Follow me! While you were fooling around in there, I concocted a plan that will help us figure out who is trying to kill Harry," "I'm not coming with you," Rose said softly. "What?" Legolas asked. "I'm doing this with or without your help, but without, it will take longer.where is the crewman's passage?" "No clue," Aragorn said shrugging and in a tone that suggested he did not care. Rose pulled back hurt, close to tears, and began running down the hall, arms flaring, screaming, "Jack!" (This can also be seen in slow motion, if one preferred).
Snape cleared up the pink pudding with one wave of his wand, and marched the cast of Lord of the Rings, a still out of place Rose (from Titanic) and Harry to the Detention Room down the hall. This room was the typical Hogwarts room. Tall castle walls, candle lit and the all too familiar skeletons hanging by their thumbs from the ceiling. "Sit," Snape ordered, pointing to the multicolored inflatable chairs. Each chair was a different color, and they were all lined up as if they were normal classroom chairs. The only thing that seemed different was that there were no desks and the chairs were five inches from the floor. "I'm not sitting in those," Rose cried indignantly. "Yes you are," Snape replied. "Don't presume to tell me what I will and will not do, you do not know me," she cried. "Clearly you have lost all Sense and Sensibility, for I have married you, therefore I know exactly what you will and will not do," "Then you should know, that I would not sit in those chairs," "Sit!" Snape said firmly. "I should have married Jack," Rose cried making her way to the back of the room pouting. "Yes, but his heart is quite.frozen, by now, wouldn't you say?" He paused and there was a humorless silence followed by Snape's echoing laugh as he found his own joke increasingly funny. "Woo," he said wiping a tear from eye. "Take your seats," He rounded on the group cruelly. "All of you, now!" All stood still for a moment staring at the inflatable chairs. "I get the flowered one," Frodo called as he quickly ran to the middle front chair. After this, everyone not sitting, made his or her way to find a seat, including Samwise, who scooted a chair closer to Frodo, and made sure that he was as comfortable as possible. "Do you need anything Mr. Frodo?" Sam asked. Fordo kicked up his feet and stared at the ceiling as he began to twirl his hair. "Ummm," Frodo said as he bit his lip and turned to thought, "Got any gum?" Sam pulled out a piece of grape bubble gum and handed it to Frodo. "Here you go Mr. Frodo," Sam replied, "It's the last piece but you can have it," Harry Potter had taken his seat next to Frodo, rolled his eyes and turned to Aragorn and Legolas. "I think someone is trying to kill me," Harry told them. Snape who had been passing by turned to Harry. "Have you ever read your books Mr. Potter," Snape snarled, "Everyone is always trying to kill you." Harry stared blankly. "Are you trying to kill me?" he asked. Snape rolled his eyes and pulled out a piece of parchment labeled, "Ways to Kill Harry Potter" Harry quickly read the list aloud.
Dismemberment Lower slowly into a cauldron of liquid hot goo Dress as Hagrid, pretend to be best friend, and eventually hack head off ***Icicle (perfect murder weapon)*** Screamin' Green and Yellpin' Yellow Tinker Toys
Harry looked up in horror. "Screamin' Green and Yellpin' Yellow Tinkertoys?" Harry shouted, "You're sick, man!" "What?" Snape asked taking the parchment and putting it neatly in his pocket, "I like those colors." Snape turned on his heals and returned to his desk. Harry turned back to his conversation with Legolas and Aragorn. He was greeted by Legolas's suspicious stare. "So," Legolas said, "Who do you think is trying to kill you?" Harry shrugged. "Don't be so hasty to figure this mystery out Legolas," Aragorn said, "We need to find a way out of here first," Harry rounded on Frodo whose gum chewing and hair twirling had become increasingly annoying, and shouted, "Knock that off!" "Mr.. Frodo needs his gum," Sam commented. "Besides," Frodo said wrapping another piece of hair around his finger, "This is the only way to keep my curls curled. I left my curling iron at Bag End," "Oh here you go Mr. Frodo," Sam replied, " I packed it before we left the Shire," Frodo blew and enormous bubble which popped very loudly. Legolas jumped to his feet, put an arrow in his bow, and pointed it dangerously at Frodo's head saying, "Hold you gum!" Suddenly Snape looked up in interest, and added "arrow to head" on his "Ways to Kill Harry" list. "Will you hold it for me?" Frodo whined as he chucked it as Legolas's silky smooth, fake blonde hair. "That's it!" Legolas yelled as Frodo turned his back to him. He released the arrow only to find it disappointedly bouncing off Frodo's head. Frodo, without turning around, parted the hair on the back of his head. "Mithril!" Legolas cried astonished. "You come well prepared young hobbit," Aragorn told him, "But not always to the liking of others." Aragorn turned around as he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder. Arwen sat innocently holding out a piece of paper folded creatively and labeled, "Aragomi". "I wrote you a note," she said. Aragorn took the paper, and stubbornly threw it to the floor, and Arwen turned away pouting. Gimli who had fallen asleep, with loud snores everyone tried hard to ignore, began talking in his sleep. "Really bad eggs." he grumbled. The classroom stared in confusion as he continued: "Drink up me hearties yo ho!" "Is there something he wants to tell us?" Merry shouted across the room. "Piracy's the only way," Gimli added. Everyone rolled their eyes and went back to their business. "We still need to find a way out of here so we can find out who's trying to kill me," Harry said. "I know a way out," Merry cried proudly, pulling out a firecracker. "Where did you get that?" Harry asked. "Pocket's, Potter," Pippin spat across the room. Harry wiped his glasses. The firecracker was shaped, oddly enough, as Cartman. "Who's that?" Arwen asked. "Cartman, haven't you every watched South Park?" Pippin asked. Merry and Pippin looked to each other and quoted simultaneously, "Screw you guys, I'm going home!" and erupted in laughter. "Come on, light it," Legolas urged the stupid fat hobbits. Pippin pulled out a match and lit the firecracker. "You're supposed to stick it in the ground," Merry said. "There is no ground!" Pippin replied. They both stared at each before screaming, "Run!" Gimli awoke with a start. "Rum?" He shouted. "Everyone run, quickly!" Aragorn yelled. He looked to see if Snape had noticed the chaos, but found him bopping his head to his headphones singing softly, "My loneliness, is killing me," In an unexpected high pitch screech. Aragorn shook his head in disgust, and caught up with everyone else at the door. He followed their gaze to see Gandalf looking into space smoking his weed. Gandalf gave a great puff, and instead of a lovely sailboat, he manipulated the smoke to form a quickly sinking Titanic. "It still doesn't look any bigger than the Mortania," Rose said. Everyone turned to her with eyebrows raised for a moment, then turned back to Gandalf. The firecracker went off, and Aragorn began to usher everyone out to the hallway as the room began to catch fire. Frodo lingered behind and stretched out a reaching hand towards Gandalf and yelled, "Gandalf!!!" (In slow motion, if you want to make this dramatic). Boromir swiftly lifted Frodo from the floor, turned around a set him down in the hallway. "He's gone, Frodo," Boromir said shaking Frodo melodramatically, "He's gone!" "I know," Frodo, said, "I'm over it," Boromir turned from Frodo and announced, "Follow me! While you were fooling around in there, I concocted a plan that will help us figure out who is trying to kill Harry," "I'm not coming with you," Rose said softly. "What?" Legolas asked. "I'm doing this with or without your help, but without, it will take longer.where is the crewman's passage?" "No clue," Aragorn said shrugging and in a tone that suggested he did not care. Rose pulled back hurt, close to tears, and began running down the hall, arms flaring, screaming, "Jack!" (This can also be seen in slow motion, if one preferred).