I Want It That Way
You are my fire
The one desire
Believe when I say
I want it that way
Lily Evans was sitting by the window in her bedroom, looking at the grounds beneath. The sky was stormy and grey; just like the eyes that were haunting her in her mind every night. She sighed deep and leaned her forehead against her palms. The summer holiday before the seventh year at Hogwarts was ending; it was only eight days left before she would have to return back to the school.
She shivered, fresh tears welling in her eyes. How could she possibly survive, being so completely isolated from her secret crush for an entire term? She did not know. She felt the urge to scream and rip her hair, so frustrated she was. For how could she ever get the chance to meet him now? It was hopeless.
But we are two worlds apart
Can't reach to your heart
When you say
That I want it that way
Why, oh why, could he not return her feelings? But Lily knew exactly why. There were two rather strong reasons.
For one, she was Muggleborn.
For second, he was drifting away, being bewitched by another power, more stronger than hers.
At first, Lily had been sure that these two obstacles could be defeated. But not anymore. Her hope was fading like the setting sun. The silvery moon was replacing all the golden beams in her mind, its glow reminding her about the silken platinum hair she so much yearned to touch.
But she could not touch.
She knew she would never be able to.
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say
I want it that way
Perhaps it had been a mistake from the very start. It was unrequited love. But love so rarely asked questions.
Perhaps she had been blinded. Blinded by him, from the very first time she saw the gentle autumn wing playing with his long, silvery mane. She had been watching him from the shadows, admiring how the purple aurora had shone from his eyes, making him look half ethereal, half real.
And she had fallen in love.
Real hard.
Am I your fire
Your one desire
Yes I know it's too late
But I want it that way
He had turned dark. Very dark. Whereas she had remained in light. Pure and white.
They were drifting apart, and she could not do anything about it.
It was too late.
He was falling in the shadows. Once she had thought he would bring light into the darkness with his angelic appearance. He would make the dark lose some of its deathly powers.
What she had not expected, was that he would do that by absorbing the darkness in his heart, and becoming the sheer, ultimate evil himself. A servant of darkness. A servant of death.
A servant of Lord Voldemort.
Now I can see that we've fallen apart
From the way that it used to be, yeah
No matter the distance
I want you to know that
Deep down inside of me
You are my fire
The one desire
You are, you are, you are, you are
Don't wanna hear you say...
Lily could not compete with the Lord of Darkness. The powers of evil were too strong, too captivating, too hypnotizing.
But she could not help still loving him.
She peered through the window glass, her eyes blank. In the nearby bush, a diligent spider was weaving a glimmering web. She looked how the sticky chords captured the light raindrops. And again, like so many things today, this reminded her of him.
He was just like those raindrops. Silvery and beautiful, flowing and so easily carried away. And there he was, one of those hopeless, doomed raindrops, caught in the net of evilness. Forever he would be the servant of shadow and death.
She could not change that.
She could not bring her light to illuminate his darkness.
And she cried.
Her tears were just like the raindrops. Only that they were flowing free.
Don't wanna hear you say,
Ain't nothin' but a heartache,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
Don't wanna hear you say,
I never wanna hear you say,
I want it that way
It was hopeless…
Tell me why...
Ain't nothin' but a heartache,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
Tell me why,
I never wanna hear you say,
Never wanna hear you say it,
I want it that way
But still, her hope had not died…
Perhaps, some day, she would get him to see that love, not darkness, is the greatest power of them all.
Lucius…
It was the last time she whispered his name.
~The End~
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