Prologue By Los Pollos Desnudos

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far far away, the dark lords were lounging around in some strange parallel universe drinking caffeine-free mint/herbal tea (with a hint of rosemary) and discussing life's most challenging problems

Random Evil Lord #24: I'm having such an awful day. I woke and found that I had strangled my personal slave in my sleep, and I had to brush my own teeth!

All: *gasp!*

Random Evil Lord #1: Well, now that we're all here, let's get down to business. Anything new to share?

Sauron: I defeated the elves!

Dark Lords: Again?!

Other Dark Lords: Finally?!!!

Sauron: No. . .

REL #2: You've been sharing the same thing for the past three thousand years!

REL #67: What a loser!

Voldemort: Well I faced Harry Potter yesterday!

Dark Lords: Did you win?! Did you win?!

Voldemort: No. . .

REL #2: That would explain why you don't have a body.

Voldemort: Yes. Yes it would.

REL #1: Anything new with you, Shai'tan?

Lightning Bolts: *Crash!*

Horse: *Whinny!*

Music: *Dun Dun Dun*

Shai'tan: I've gotta get that fixed.

REL #24: So wuzzap?

Shai'tan: Oh, just the usual. My greatest enemy has been reborn and is starting to revolt against me. . .