*Music plays as the light dims. Kennyon enters the stage in a fun little
outfit. Her pants are tie died and she is wearing an orange shirt. Oh how
cute she looks.*
Kennyon: Hey everyone!
Everyone: Hi Kennyon. How ya been?
Kennyon: Pretty good I mean I have been having a terrific day.
Everyone: What's wrong with your mike?
Kennyon: What do ya mean?
*Kennyon listens to herself. Her mike sounds funny. It makes her voice go really high then really low, then high again, then low, then high, then low, then. . . well you get the picture.*
Kennyon: Oh no! Someone is tampering with my mike. Who would do that?
*Everyone and Kennyon look around. Timmy had heard what was going on and enters the stage.*
Timmy: Hey Kennyon?
Kennyon: *really high* What?
Timmy: Have you checked the sound booth?
Kennyon: *really low* Not *high again* yet.
*Kennyon goes to the sound booth and looks inside. It's that man with the handle bar moustache again.*
Audience: DUM DUM DUM!
*The audience is getting smarter! Would you look at that? They know when to do the music now . . . *
Kennyon: *really high* NARRATOR! *really low* leave the audience alone!
*I'm rolling my eyes, see no one narrates for me. Now I am sticking my tongue out at Kennyon. Moving on.*
Kennyon: *really high* What the heck are ya doing playing *really low* with my mike!
Timmy: I'll get 'im for you!
*Timmy runs towards the sound booth he jumps but hits the glass. He falls to the floor. The moustached stranger laughs*
Moustached stranger: Mwah ha ha!
*He grabs Kennyon and takes her to the middle of the stage. He holds on to her and laughs.*
Moustached stranger: I will get you Kennyon. No matter what!
*He holds on to her for a second before planting a kiss on her mouth.*
Timmy: Hey you can't kiss her! Oh man am I dizzy from hitting that glass.
*Timmy staggers around. Before falling about five feet from the pair. The moustached stranger is still kissing Kennyon who now has her arms wrapped around the stranger. The stranger finally pulls away. Laughs and runs out of the studio. He is going out the back. Kennyon is licking her lips and trying to keep her balance. Spot enters the stage from the right.*
Spot: Hey Kennyon, you okay?
Kennyon: That had to be the best kiss I ever got!
Spot: Do you know who it was?
Kennyon: A moustached stranger. He was cute and wow! That was amazing.
Spot: He's the bad guy! He's trying to ruin you! I mean how do you know it wasn't the guy who stole the hot dogs from Wal*Mart and then got thrown into a Turkish Prison for biting Barney?
Kennyon: Because. . . Armando was a sloppy kisser. That kiss was . . . well. Spot you know how some guys roll their 'r's'?
Spot: Yeah. . .
Kennyon: He did that in my mouth!
Spot: Really, huh. Wait, stop. Keep this show PG. We have little kids in China watching.
Kennyon: Oh, what ever. I forget what are we supposed to be doing today?
Spot: We are supposed to find me a drama queen!
Kennyon: Oh yeah. Sorry. Okay well I have come up with a way to do this.
Spot: Really? How?
Kennyon: Well the other day, when Timmy was talking about American Idol and him being Simon Cowel, I thought hey good idea!
Spot: What?
Kennyon: Welcome to. . . .
*A sign drops behind Kennyon and she points to it*
Kennyon: Spot Conlon's Pin-up!
Spot: My Pin-up?
Kennyon: Hey, it was a synonym for Idol so I used it. Can we meet the panel of celebrity judges?
*The back curtains open to reveal a table on the audience's left and a Lily on the right. She is wearing a purple sparkly thing. It's made of duct tape?*
Lily: That's right narrator. Dutchy's new goil made it. She is amazing with that stuff.
Kennyon: I think we need to explain about her.
Lily: *approaching Kennyon* Yeah we probably should.
Kennyon: Hey Spot, could ya go get Spaz?
*Spot nods and leaves the stage. Kennyon admires Lily's amazing duct tape dress. Spot returns with a cute girl about the age of 20 wearing a giant fuzzy top hat that is orange and yellow with a flame print on the top.*
Spot: I brought out Spaz for you Kennyon.
Kennyon: Oh good. HEY YOU! Get over here!
*Spaz runs over to Kennyon and Lily. She jumps down next to Lily.*
Spaz: The Spaz-a-rina at your service!
Kennyon: You look cute taday.
Spaz: Thank you.
Lily: Hey Spaz, you're missin somethin.
Spaz: *looking around* Oh well that's a funky kick in the pants. Where's Dutchy?
Kennyon: I'll get him for you.
Spaz: Oh thank you.
*Spaz seems happy as she waits patiently expecting Kennyon to go back stage and get him. But that would be the long way and well, Kennyon likes things done fast.*
Kennyon: *Screaming at the top of her lungs* DUTCHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Dutchy comes running out from backstage.*
Dutchy: Kennyon, why'd you have to scream?
Kennyon: Because, it's faster!
Dutchy: Well now the entire bird collection of Swifty's is screaming out their lungs.
*After saying this, a loud voice is heard from backstage*
Swifty: Oh *MAJOR BEEP*!
*Swifty comes from backstage covered in what appears to be bird guts.*
Swifty: Kennyon! One of my bird's exploded from screeching so loud! You killed my prize winning parakeet!
*Kennyon tries to reply but she is laughing too hard at Swifty to say very much.*
Kennyon: You. . . .ha . . . look . . . him . . . so. . . .ha . . . funny!
*The entire group of people are now laughing at the soiled Swifty.*
Swifty: Oh yeah! Go ahead and laugh at the death of poor Feffernuse!
*Swifty leaves the stage and after Kennyon regains her poise she moves on.*
Kennyon: Where were we? Oh yes. Dutchy, Spaz, the audience wants to know about you two!
Spaz: They do? I love telling the story of how we met . . . ooo. . . and our first date!
Dutchy: *Putting his arm around Spaz* Yeah, those were some good times.
Spaz: Well you see. . .
*The place goes all foggy and fuzzy and such as we go into Flashback land!*
Spaz: Well I was walking down a street, headed to my local blockbuster. I was in my pajamas and I looked absolutely adorable. See their yellow with rubber Dutchy's, I mean duckies on them.
Dutchy: I was also going to Blockbuster and I was in my pajamas. They have Spaz, I mean Taz on them. So I was walking and I didn't see Spaz coming the other way.
Spaz: Next thing we know we had run into each other and were sprawled on top of each other in one big heap.
Dutchy. I helped her up. I finally got a good look at her. She was be- utiful.
Spaz: He was cuter than anything I had ever seen. I walked with him. He offered to buy me dinner. He said it was the least he could do for making me rip the bottom of my jammie pants.
Dutchy: So we went to Cachina Cachina and ate lots.
Spaz: We were feeling really full so we decided to go frolic. You know to get rid of some of the calories.
Dutchy: We went to the hill top daisy field and held hands.
Spaz: The cuteness of him all, began to sing.
Dutchy: We all live in a yellow submarine, in a pipe, in a hole, in the ground in the bottom of the sea!
Spaz: We couldn't sing the real song because well he didn't know it all so he made up his own lyrics.
Dutchy and Spaz together: We all live in a yellow submarine in a pipe, in a hole, in the ground in the bottom of the sea!
Spaz: After we were done frolicking we went back to blockbuster and got newsies.
Dutchy: She likes the part where I wave at Denton with the hot dog on the fork.
Spaz: So we watched that on the big screen then went to play laser tag.
Dutchy: She won.
Spaz: Of course I won. You were terrible.
Dutchy: Well after that we felt like frolicking again.
Spaz: We went back to the daisies and he bought me cotton candy.
Dutchy: Blueberry!
Spaz: It was delicious. So that night we decided we were poifect for each other.
Dutchy: We haven't been apart since.
*The flashback ends*
Kennyon: *sniffs* That is the most romantic thing I ever heard.
Lily: *sniffles along with Kennyon* Yeah. You two are so lucky.
Spaz: Well we have to go know. I'm late for an appointment with a bed specialist.
Dutchy: And I'm late for a meeting with a client.
*Dutchy and Spaz wink at each other and leave. Kennyon wipes her eyes and turns back to Spot.*
Kennyon: That explains the duct tape dress.
Spot: Okay, well we got that, but what about me? I still don't have a girl to make a short film with!
Kennyon: Oh that's right. Lily, will you introduce our celebrity judges for Spot Conlon's Pin-up?
Lily: Certainly. From Manhattan, New York we have Jack Kelly.
*Jack comes on stage and waves before taking the first seat at the table*
Lily: Next from Manhattan, New York we have Mush!
*Mush waves to the audience and takes the second seat.*
Lily: And last from Manhattan, New York we have Racetrack Higgins!
*Race waves and takes the last seat.*
Spot: Wait a minute. These aren't celebrities! They're just newsies and shouldn't there be a female judge?
Kennyon: Medda was busy. And these guys are celebrities. They are loved by thousands.
Race: Well I only care 'bout one of dem!
Legs: *Coming on stage.* Oh Race, you're so sweet.
*Legs goes over to Race kisses him and sits on his lap.*
Race: Hey babe.
Kennyon: You two are so cute!
Legs: Thanks Kennyon.
Kennyon: Anytime Legs!
Spot: Okay, fine. How are you supposedly going to have people vote?
Kennyon: Well everyone in the audience has one of these.
*Kennyon holds up a clicker with buttons that say 1, 2, and 3 on them*
Kennyon: At the end they will vote for the girl that is most dramatic.
Spot: So what do the judges have to do with anything?
Kennyon: Well when they critique them it's funny.
Spot: Kennyon, I am more confused then a hungry baby in a topless bar.
Kennyon: What kind of mother would put their baby in a topless bar?
Spot: It's just an express. . .
Kennyon: That's just wrong. Spot you should talk to that woman. She is a bad mommy. Putting your baby in a topless bar. Filth.
Spot: What ever.
Kennyon: Hey Lily, we're ready for the first girl!
*Lily goes back stage and returns with a cute brunette girl.*
Lily: This is Kendal, also known as Sweetness.
Kennyon: Well judges take it away.
*Jack and Mush are looking around at everyone suspiciously. Why, don't ask me. Legs is still on Race's lap and Kendal steps forward. Kennyon, Lily and Spot leave the stage.*
Jack: Ok Kendal. Let's see what you got.
Kendal: I have to do something?
Mush: You are supposed to perform a dramatic skit. So that the audience can see how dramatic you are.
Kendal: Ok, *mumbles under her breath* Kennyon never mentioned this.
*Kendal thinks quick and starts to act.*
Kendal: I'm dieing. . . I'm dieing. . .I'm dieing!
*Kendal falls to the floor in a heap. She jumps up again quickly and looks at the judges.*
Kendal: How'd I do?
Jack: Race why don't you go first.
Race: Kendal that was interesting. I mean it doesn't compare to my sweet Legs here, but it would make it on a soap opera.
Jack: Mush you're next.
Mush: Honey, you are cute as a button. But that had to be the worst death scene I ever saw. It wasn't dramatic in the least.
Jack: I'm going to have to agree with Mush. You were absolutely dreadful.
Kendal: What the heck do you guys know. The most drama you've ever done, besides Race, is a fake fight scene on top of a garbage can. I'm outta here.
*Kendal exits and Lily reenters*
Lily: Well audience that was girl number 1. Remember her. Okay, girl number two. We have Dreamer Conlon. She says she is no relation to Spot.
Dreamer Conlon: Just call me Dreamer.
*Ok.*
Dreamer: I have prepared a quick little scene. I am going to cry as if Spot just died.
*The judges nod and Dreamer falls to her knees in sobs*
Dreamer: Oh, Spot. Why? You were so young! Why? Oh God why?
*She finishes and pauses briefly before standing.*
Jack: I want to go first. That was the most amazing thing I ever saw. You were terrific.
Mush: Yeah kid. Ya know if you don't get picked, I need a dramatic girl.
Race: Well, that was. . . really. . . um. . . .you weren't better than Legs.
Dreamer: Okay. . .
*Dreamer leaves and Lily brings out the last girl.*
Lily: This is Shani.
Shani: Hi judges. I am going to be singing Skater Boi by Avril Lavigne.
*Shani gets ready to sing*
Shani: *Well you all know Skater boi! It would take up too much room*
*Shani keeps singing while the judges talk*
Jack: What is she doing?
Mush: Well apparently she's singing.
Race: But we don't need a singer.
Jack: Uh oh. . .
Mush: What?
Jack: Les heard the music.
*The newsies look over at the front of the stage. We can see Les Jacobs, shaking his groove thing, ya ya.*
Les: *Singing with Shani the last verse*
I'm with the skater boy
I'll be back stage after the show
I'll be at the studio
Singing the song we wrote
About a girl you used to know
*It's sad really. Imagine a monkey, having a seizure, while trying to do the Macarena. That's what Les is. Oh look Shani is done singing. Good Les will stop*
Les: Oh is the music over? Darn!
*Les leaves the stage with the audience watching him warily.*
Shani: So what do you think?
Jack: Um. . . You have a beautiful voice, but this was a competition on how dramatic you could be.
Shani: Oh I know. I was being dramatic by giving you something you didn't expect.
Mush: I think we've had enough said about this one then.
*Shani leaves the stage. And Lily and Kennyon enter*
Kennyon: They were all great.
Lily: Yes they were.
Kennyon: Now all of you with clickers out there Vote.
*The audience does their little voting thing. Look Kennyon gave me a clicker! Let's see 1. . . no. . . 2. . . maybe. . . um I don't know. Wow this is hard! Hey stop looking at who I'm going to vote for!*
Kennyon: Is everyone done?
*One minute*
Kennyon: Hurry up Narrator. We can't move on with out you!
*Ok I'm done.*
Kennyon: Now is everyone done?
*The audience nods their heads and the results are handed to Kennyon.*
Kennyon: And now the moment Spot's been waiting for.
*Spot enters and looks pleadingly at Kennyon. He waits patiently for her to. . . *
Spot: I'm not patient read it. Oh I'll just do it myself.
*Spot grabs the results form Kennyon and rips it open.*
Spot: Dreamer!
Dreamer: *running on stage* I won!
Spot: Yes!
*Spot runs over to Dreamer and picks her up. He twirls her around and then. . . how cute a smooch!*
Moustached Stranger: You call that a kiss?
*The moustached stranger appeared out of nowhere.*
Moustached Stranger: This is a kiss!
*He flies. . . he can fly?...Okay he flies over to Kennyon and kisses her. Now there are two kissing couples on the stage. Spot and Dreamer finish a long time before the moustached stranger and Kennyon. Finally the moustached stranger and Kennyon pull apart, much to Kennyon's dismay.*
Moustached Stranger: Mwah ha ha! That's a kiss!
*The moustached stranger flies away and Kennyon is standing dreamy eyed on the stage.*
Kennyon: Darn, why does he keep doing that?
*Legs, Dreamer, Lily, Spaz and Kennyon all go and sit at the front of the stage.*
Legs: We feel you're pain Kennyon.
Dreamer: Yeah, I mean we all know who are men are, but you are in the dark.
Kennyon: Why does he always kiss me then fly away!
Lily: I don't know.
*The girls all put their hands on their chins and think deep.*
Spaz: If only we could solve this mystery!
Jack: Did someone say mystery?
Mush: We can help!
*Mush and Jack run forward and stand behind the girls. Spaz stares u p at them.*
Spaz: How can you two help?
Legs: Yeah, I'se never seen ya do anything remotely close ta solvin a mystery!
Lily: They never have.
Mush: Yes we have. You just never saw us do it!
Dreamer: What da ya mean?
Jack: Me and Agent Mush here are Secret Agents.
*Mush and Jack put their hands on their waists, stand back to back wink at the audience and flash perfect smiles. A corny tune sung by cheesy girls plays*
Cheesy girls: They're faster than a speeding bullet!
They're cuter too.
Kennyon: Stop! I don't want to hear any more of that crap. Those girls sound terrible.
Britney Spears: Hey! Don't make fun of me!
Kennyon: Britney Spears was singing that? Well I take that back. It wasn't terrible, it was the absolute biggest pile of crap I have ever heard.
Jack: So do you want our help or not?
Kennyon: Can you figure out who the moustached stranger is?
Mush: Of course we can.
Kennyon: Really?
Jack: Of course! It should be really simple, we just have to examine the clues, search for evidence and then we will have it solved.
Kennyon: So how long will it take to solve?
Mush: A matter of minutes.
Kennyon: Can you start now?
Jack: Right after a coffee break.
Mush: Yeah we're too tired from judging that contest.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I beat my one record! That chapter is over 13 pages long! Wow. So what did you think? Thanks to Spaz for her great ideas. You are so cute! I will use some of your other ideas later. I love them. And another great big hug for Legs (all the newsies hug Legs) She put a shout out for me in her story! How very sweet of her.
Okay, the moustached stranger, who is he? You see I don't even know! He isn't Spot, so you can feel safe Dreamer. And don't worry Legs, it isn't Race. But I don't know who it is! So all of my readers. Give me suggestions. Which newsie should the moustached stranger really be? Let me know. I can't type my next chapter without knowing. Well I guess I could pick, but where would the fun be in that?
So pick me, cute lovable Kennyon, a newsie. It can't be Race, Crutchy, Kid Blink, Spot, Dutchy, or Bumlets. Every other newsie it can be. Let me know!
Hey Legs! I would love to write a story with you. Just let me know your email, mine is in my bio, and we can think of all kinds of twisted plots and other fun stuff, mwah ha ha!
And Cute Spaz, everyone at the Kennyon Comedy Hour LOVES you. Send me more plots if you want. I think your hilarious.
Well thanks everybody. Remember I can't write the next chapter without suggestions on which newsie the moustached stranger is. So hugs and kisses from everyone at the Kennyon Comedy Hour! We love y'all!
P.S. To Shani and Sweetness. Sorry you didn't get picked. I put all the names in a bag and picked one. Dreamer got the luck of the draw! If you still want to be in it more, tell me so I can add you. I think both of you are awesome for reviewing! Thanks again!
Kennyon: Hey everyone!
Everyone: Hi Kennyon. How ya been?
Kennyon: Pretty good I mean I have been having a terrific day.
Everyone: What's wrong with your mike?
Kennyon: What do ya mean?
*Kennyon listens to herself. Her mike sounds funny. It makes her voice go really high then really low, then high again, then low, then high, then low, then. . . well you get the picture.*
Kennyon: Oh no! Someone is tampering with my mike. Who would do that?
*Everyone and Kennyon look around. Timmy had heard what was going on and enters the stage.*
Timmy: Hey Kennyon?
Kennyon: *really high* What?
Timmy: Have you checked the sound booth?
Kennyon: *really low* Not *high again* yet.
*Kennyon goes to the sound booth and looks inside. It's that man with the handle bar moustache again.*
Audience: DUM DUM DUM!
*The audience is getting smarter! Would you look at that? They know when to do the music now . . . *
Kennyon: *really high* NARRATOR! *really low* leave the audience alone!
*I'm rolling my eyes, see no one narrates for me. Now I am sticking my tongue out at Kennyon. Moving on.*
Kennyon: *really high* What the heck are ya doing playing *really low* with my mike!
Timmy: I'll get 'im for you!
*Timmy runs towards the sound booth he jumps but hits the glass. He falls to the floor. The moustached stranger laughs*
Moustached stranger: Mwah ha ha!
*He grabs Kennyon and takes her to the middle of the stage. He holds on to her and laughs.*
Moustached stranger: I will get you Kennyon. No matter what!
*He holds on to her for a second before planting a kiss on her mouth.*
Timmy: Hey you can't kiss her! Oh man am I dizzy from hitting that glass.
*Timmy staggers around. Before falling about five feet from the pair. The moustached stranger is still kissing Kennyon who now has her arms wrapped around the stranger. The stranger finally pulls away. Laughs and runs out of the studio. He is going out the back. Kennyon is licking her lips and trying to keep her balance. Spot enters the stage from the right.*
Spot: Hey Kennyon, you okay?
Kennyon: That had to be the best kiss I ever got!
Spot: Do you know who it was?
Kennyon: A moustached stranger. He was cute and wow! That was amazing.
Spot: He's the bad guy! He's trying to ruin you! I mean how do you know it wasn't the guy who stole the hot dogs from Wal*Mart and then got thrown into a Turkish Prison for biting Barney?
Kennyon: Because. . . Armando was a sloppy kisser. That kiss was . . . well. Spot you know how some guys roll their 'r's'?
Spot: Yeah. . .
Kennyon: He did that in my mouth!
Spot: Really, huh. Wait, stop. Keep this show PG. We have little kids in China watching.
Kennyon: Oh, what ever. I forget what are we supposed to be doing today?
Spot: We are supposed to find me a drama queen!
Kennyon: Oh yeah. Sorry. Okay well I have come up with a way to do this.
Spot: Really? How?
Kennyon: Well the other day, when Timmy was talking about American Idol and him being Simon Cowel, I thought hey good idea!
Spot: What?
Kennyon: Welcome to. . . .
*A sign drops behind Kennyon and she points to it*
Kennyon: Spot Conlon's Pin-up!
Spot: My Pin-up?
Kennyon: Hey, it was a synonym for Idol so I used it. Can we meet the panel of celebrity judges?
*The back curtains open to reveal a table on the audience's left and a Lily on the right. She is wearing a purple sparkly thing. It's made of duct tape?*
Lily: That's right narrator. Dutchy's new goil made it. She is amazing with that stuff.
Kennyon: I think we need to explain about her.
Lily: *approaching Kennyon* Yeah we probably should.
Kennyon: Hey Spot, could ya go get Spaz?
*Spot nods and leaves the stage. Kennyon admires Lily's amazing duct tape dress. Spot returns with a cute girl about the age of 20 wearing a giant fuzzy top hat that is orange and yellow with a flame print on the top.*
Spot: I brought out Spaz for you Kennyon.
Kennyon: Oh good. HEY YOU! Get over here!
*Spaz runs over to Kennyon and Lily. She jumps down next to Lily.*
Spaz: The Spaz-a-rina at your service!
Kennyon: You look cute taday.
Spaz: Thank you.
Lily: Hey Spaz, you're missin somethin.
Spaz: *looking around* Oh well that's a funky kick in the pants. Where's Dutchy?
Kennyon: I'll get him for you.
Spaz: Oh thank you.
*Spaz seems happy as she waits patiently expecting Kennyon to go back stage and get him. But that would be the long way and well, Kennyon likes things done fast.*
Kennyon: *Screaming at the top of her lungs* DUTCHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Dutchy comes running out from backstage.*
Dutchy: Kennyon, why'd you have to scream?
Kennyon: Because, it's faster!
Dutchy: Well now the entire bird collection of Swifty's is screaming out their lungs.
*After saying this, a loud voice is heard from backstage*
Swifty: Oh *MAJOR BEEP*!
*Swifty comes from backstage covered in what appears to be bird guts.*
Swifty: Kennyon! One of my bird's exploded from screeching so loud! You killed my prize winning parakeet!
*Kennyon tries to reply but she is laughing too hard at Swifty to say very much.*
Kennyon: You. . . .ha . . . look . . . him . . . so. . . .ha . . . funny!
*The entire group of people are now laughing at the soiled Swifty.*
Swifty: Oh yeah! Go ahead and laugh at the death of poor Feffernuse!
*Swifty leaves the stage and after Kennyon regains her poise she moves on.*
Kennyon: Where were we? Oh yes. Dutchy, Spaz, the audience wants to know about you two!
Spaz: They do? I love telling the story of how we met . . . ooo. . . and our first date!
Dutchy: *Putting his arm around Spaz* Yeah, those were some good times.
Spaz: Well you see. . .
*The place goes all foggy and fuzzy and such as we go into Flashback land!*
Spaz: Well I was walking down a street, headed to my local blockbuster. I was in my pajamas and I looked absolutely adorable. See their yellow with rubber Dutchy's, I mean duckies on them.
Dutchy: I was also going to Blockbuster and I was in my pajamas. They have Spaz, I mean Taz on them. So I was walking and I didn't see Spaz coming the other way.
Spaz: Next thing we know we had run into each other and were sprawled on top of each other in one big heap.
Dutchy. I helped her up. I finally got a good look at her. She was be- utiful.
Spaz: He was cuter than anything I had ever seen. I walked with him. He offered to buy me dinner. He said it was the least he could do for making me rip the bottom of my jammie pants.
Dutchy: So we went to Cachina Cachina and ate lots.
Spaz: We were feeling really full so we decided to go frolic. You know to get rid of some of the calories.
Dutchy: We went to the hill top daisy field and held hands.
Spaz: The cuteness of him all, began to sing.
Dutchy: We all live in a yellow submarine, in a pipe, in a hole, in the ground in the bottom of the sea!
Spaz: We couldn't sing the real song because well he didn't know it all so he made up his own lyrics.
Dutchy and Spaz together: We all live in a yellow submarine in a pipe, in a hole, in the ground in the bottom of the sea!
Spaz: After we were done frolicking we went back to blockbuster and got newsies.
Dutchy: She likes the part where I wave at Denton with the hot dog on the fork.
Spaz: So we watched that on the big screen then went to play laser tag.
Dutchy: She won.
Spaz: Of course I won. You were terrible.
Dutchy: Well after that we felt like frolicking again.
Spaz: We went back to the daisies and he bought me cotton candy.
Dutchy: Blueberry!
Spaz: It was delicious. So that night we decided we were poifect for each other.
Dutchy: We haven't been apart since.
*The flashback ends*
Kennyon: *sniffs* That is the most romantic thing I ever heard.
Lily: *sniffles along with Kennyon* Yeah. You two are so lucky.
Spaz: Well we have to go know. I'm late for an appointment with a bed specialist.
Dutchy: And I'm late for a meeting with a client.
*Dutchy and Spaz wink at each other and leave. Kennyon wipes her eyes and turns back to Spot.*
Kennyon: That explains the duct tape dress.
Spot: Okay, well we got that, but what about me? I still don't have a girl to make a short film with!
Kennyon: Oh that's right. Lily, will you introduce our celebrity judges for Spot Conlon's Pin-up?
Lily: Certainly. From Manhattan, New York we have Jack Kelly.
*Jack comes on stage and waves before taking the first seat at the table*
Lily: Next from Manhattan, New York we have Mush!
*Mush waves to the audience and takes the second seat.*
Lily: And last from Manhattan, New York we have Racetrack Higgins!
*Race waves and takes the last seat.*
Spot: Wait a minute. These aren't celebrities! They're just newsies and shouldn't there be a female judge?
Kennyon: Medda was busy. And these guys are celebrities. They are loved by thousands.
Race: Well I only care 'bout one of dem!
Legs: *Coming on stage.* Oh Race, you're so sweet.
*Legs goes over to Race kisses him and sits on his lap.*
Race: Hey babe.
Kennyon: You two are so cute!
Legs: Thanks Kennyon.
Kennyon: Anytime Legs!
Spot: Okay, fine. How are you supposedly going to have people vote?
Kennyon: Well everyone in the audience has one of these.
*Kennyon holds up a clicker with buttons that say 1, 2, and 3 on them*
Kennyon: At the end they will vote for the girl that is most dramatic.
Spot: So what do the judges have to do with anything?
Kennyon: Well when they critique them it's funny.
Spot: Kennyon, I am more confused then a hungry baby in a topless bar.
Kennyon: What kind of mother would put their baby in a topless bar?
Spot: It's just an express. . .
Kennyon: That's just wrong. Spot you should talk to that woman. She is a bad mommy. Putting your baby in a topless bar. Filth.
Spot: What ever.
Kennyon: Hey Lily, we're ready for the first girl!
*Lily goes back stage and returns with a cute brunette girl.*
Lily: This is Kendal, also known as Sweetness.
Kennyon: Well judges take it away.
*Jack and Mush are looking around at everyone suspiciously. Why, don't ask me. Legs is still on Race's lap and Kendal steps forward. Kennyon, Lily and Spot leave the stage.*
Jack: Ok Kendal. Let's see what you got.
Kendal: I have to do something?
Mush: You are supposed to perform a dramatic skit. So that the audience can see how dramatic you are.
Kendal: Ok, *mumbles under her breath* Kennyon never mentioned this.
*Kendal thinks quick and starts to act.*
Kendal: I'm dieing. . . I'm dieing. . .I'm dieing!
*Kendal falls to the floor in a heap. She jumps up again quickly and looks at the judges.*
Kendal: How'd I do?
Jack: Race why don't you go first.
Race: Kendal that was interesting. I mean it doesn't compare to my sweet Legs here, but it would make it on a soap opera.
Jack: Mush you're next.
Mush: Honey, you are cute as a button. But that had to be the worst death scene I ever saw. It wasn't dramatic in the least.
Jack: I'm going to have to agree with Mush. You were absolutely dreadful.
Kendal: What the heck do you guys know. The most drama you've ever done, besides Race, is a fake fight scene on top of a garbage can. I'm outta here.
*Kendal exits and Lily reenters*
Lily: Well audience that was girl number 1. Remember her. Okay, girl number two. We have Dreamer Conlon. She says she is no relation to Spot.
Dreamer Conlon: Just call me Dreamer.
*Ok.*
Dreamer: I have prepared a quick little scene. I am going to cry as if Spot just died.
*The judges nod and Dreamer falls to her knees in sobs*
Dreamer: Oh, Spot. Why? You were so young! Why? Oh God why?
*She finishes and pauses briefly before standing.*
Jack: I want to go first. That was the most amazing thing I ever saw. You were terrific.
Mush: Yeah kid. Ya know if you don't get picked, I need a dramatic girl.
Race: Well, that was. . . really. . . um. . . .you weren't better than Legs.
Dreamer: Okay. . .
*Dreamer leaves and Lily brings out the last girl.*
Lily: This is Shani.
Shani: Hi judges. I am going to be singing Skater Boi by Avril Lavigne.
*Shani gets ready to sing*
Shani: *Well you all know Skater boi! It would take up too much room*
*Shani keeps singing while the judges talk*
Jack: What is she doing?
Mush: Well apparently she's singing.
Race: But we don't need a singer.
Jack: Uh oh. . .
Mush: What?
Jack: Les heard the music.
*The newsies look over at the front of the stage. We can see Les Jacobs, shaking his groove thing, ya ya.*
Les: *Singing with Shani the last verse*
I'm with the skater boy
I'll be back stage after the show
I'll be at the studio
Singing the song we wrote
About a girl you used to know
*It's sad really. Imagine a monkey, having a seizure, while trying to do the Macarena. That's what Les is. Oh look Shani is done singing. Good Les will stop*
Les: Oh is the music over? Darn!
*Les leaves the stage with the audience watching him warily.*
Shani: So what do you think?
Jack: Um. . . You have a beautiful voice, but this was a competition on how dramatic you could be.
Shani: Oh I know. I was being dramatic by giving you something you didn't expect.
Mush: I think we've had enough said about this one then.
*Shani leaves the stage. And Lily and Kennyon enter*
Kennyon: They were all great.
Lily: Yes they were.
Kennyon: Now all of you with clickers out there Vote.
*The audience does their little voting thing. Look Kennyon gave me a clicker! Let's see 1. . . no. . . 2. . . maybe. . . um I don't know. Wow this is hard! Hey stop looking at who I'm going to vote for!*
Kennyon: Is everyone done?
*One minute*
Kennyon: Hurry up Narrator. We can't move on with out you!
*Ok I'm done.*
Kennyon: Now is everyone done?
*The audience nods their heads and the results are handed to Kennyon.*
Kennyon: And now the moment Spot's been waiting for.
*Spot enters and looks pleadingly at Kennyon. He waits patiently for her to. . . *
Spot: I'm not patient read it. Oh I'll just do it myself.
*Spot grabs the results form Kennyon and rips it open.*
Spot: Dreamer!
Dreamer: *running on stage* I won!
Spot: Yes!
*Spot runs over to Dreamer and picks her up. He twirls her around and then. . . how cute a smooch!*
Moustached Stranger: You call that a kiss?
*The moustached stranger appeared out of nowhere.*
Moustached Stranger: This is a kiss!
*He flies. . . he can fly?...Okay he flies over to Kennyon and kisses her. Now there are two kissing couples on the stage. Spot and Dreamer finish a long time before the moustached stranger and Kennyon. Finally the moustached stranger and Kennyon pull apart, much to Kennyon's dismay.*
Moustached Stranger: Mwah ha ha! That's a kiss!
*The moustached stranger flies away and Kennyon is standing dreamy eyed on the stage.*
Kennyon: Darn, why does he keep doing that?
*Legs, Dreamer, Lily, Spaz and Kennyon all go and sit at the front of the stage.*
Legs: We feel you're pain Kennyon.
Dreamer: Yeah, I mean we all know who are men are, but you are in the dark.
Kennyon: Why does he always kiss me then fly away!
Lily: I don't know.
*The girls all put their hands on their chins and think deep.*
Spaz: If only we could solve this mystery!
Jack: Did someone say mystery?
Mush: We can help!
*Mush and Jack run forward and stand behind the girls. Spaz stares u p at them.*
Spaz: How can you two help?
Legs: Yeah, I'se never seen ya do anything remotely close ta solvin a mystery!
Lily: They never have.
Mush: Yes we have. You just never saw us do it!
Dreamer: What da ya mean?
Jack: Me and Agent Mush here are Secret Agents.
*Mush and Jack put their hands on their waists, stand back to back wink at the audience and flash perfect smiles. A corny tune sung by cheesy girls plays*
Cheesy girls: They're faster than a speeding bullet!
They're cuter too.
Kennyon: Stop! I don't want to hear any more of that crap. Those girls sound terrible.
Britney Spears: Hey! Don't make fun of me!
Kennyon: Britney Spears was singing that? Well I take that back. It wasn't terrible, it was the absolute biggest pile of crap I have ever heard.
Jack: So do you want our help or not?
Kennyon: Can you figure out who the moustached stranger is?
Mush: Of course we can.
Kennyon: Really?
Jack: Of course! It should be really simple, we just have to examine the clues, search for evidence and then we will have it solved.
Kennyon: So how long will it take to solve?
Mush: A matter of minutes.
Kennyon: Can you start now?
Jack: Right after a coffee break.
Mush: Yeah we're too tired from judging that contest.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I beat my one record! That chapter is over 13 pages long! Wow. So what did you think? Thanks to Spaz for her great ideas. You are so cute! I will use some of your other ideas later. I love them. And another great big hug for Legs (all the newsies hug Legs) She put a shout out for me in her story! How very sweet of her.
Okay, the moustached stranger, who is he? You see I don't even know! He isn't Spot, so you can feel safe Dreamer. And don't worry Legs, it isn't Race. But I don't know who it is! So all of my readers. Give me suggestions. Which newsie should the moustached stranger really be? Let me know. I can't type my next chapter without knowing. Well I guess I could pick, but where would the fun be in that?
So pick me, cute lovable Kennyon, a newsie. It can't be Race, Crutchy, Kid Blink, Spot, Dutchy, or Bumlets. Every other newsie it can be. Let me know!
Hey Legs! I would love to write a story with you. Just let me know your email, mine is in my bio, and we can think of all kinds of twisted plots and other fun stuff, mwah ha ha!
And Cute Spaz, everyone at the Kennyon Comedy Hour LOVES you. Send me more plots if you want. I think your hilarious.
Well thanks everybody. Remember I can't write the next chapter without suggestions on which newsie the moustached stranger is. So hugs and kisses from everyone at the Kennyon Comedy Hour! We love y'all!
P.S. To Shani and Sweetness. Sorry you didn't get picked. I put all the names in a bag and picked one. Dreamer got the luck of the draw! If you still want to be in it more, tell me so I can add you. I think both of you are awesome for reviewing! Thanks again!