Chapter 6.75
In which we might finally finish up with Gandalf's birthday party (will it
ever end?!)
While we were doing something completely different, the party guests were playing a rousing game of charades. Or maybe some other game. Either way, it was rousing.
Elrond: Okay, let's do this the fair way. Raise your hand if you think LPD #1 does the better Gollum impression.
Everyone raises their hand.
Gollum: We demands a rematch!!!
Elrond: Fine. You go first this time, baldy.
Gollum: They stoles it, they stoles it from us. My PRECIOUSSSS!!!!
LPD #1 sits down on the floor and stares up at everyone.
Legolas: Wow.
Frodo: How does she do that?
Elrond: Okay, now who thinks #1 makes the better Gollum?
*unanimous vote*
Elrond: Who thinks Gollum does the better Gollum impression?
Silence.
*cricket cri-
SQUASH!
Gimli: $@%# bug.
LPD #3: GIMLI, HOW COULD YOU?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LPD #4: That was our best cricket! How can we ever replace it?!!!!
LPD #2: That's the last straw, Gimli! We may have turned our faces when you were flirting with the elf girls, and we may have ignored your singing in the bathhouse, but we do so no more! We're sending you to ANGER MANAGEMENT!!!!
Gimli: WHAT???!!!!!!
*poof.* Gimli is gone.
LPD #3: . . .Remember how Sr. Davis gave us all that homework when we were writing chapter 4?
LPD #1: Yes. What about it?
LPD #3: And how he kicked us out of the party?
LPD #1: Yes.
LPD #2: Ah, yes.
LPD #4: Splendid.
Sr. Davis: Hey guys, what's up?
Los Pollos Desnudos: We're sending you to ANGER MANAGEMENT!!!!!
Sr. Davis: WHAT???!!!!!!
*poof.* Sr. Davis is gone.
Gollum: Doesn't anyone feel any sympathy for us?!
Elrond: Who feels sympathy for the giant naked mole rat?
*silence*
*bzzt bzzt*
LPD #3: CRICKET!!!! *sob*
LPD #4: It's okay. We'll get used to flyboy.
Gollum: Drats. This is no fun.
Gollum suddenly remembers the ring in his pocket.
Gollum: Smeagol must go to Mordor! Off we go!!
Gollum dashes through the nearest exit, which just happens to be the three- inch crack in the window.
Gollum: Crapses! Poopses! Curses! Poopses again!
Meanwhile. . .
Elrond: Hit the switch, Arwen!
The lights go off, and 12 elves come through one of the doors carrying a HUGE cake. There are so many candles the top of it appears to be on fire.
Elrond: Ready. . . 1, 2, 3!
All: Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Gandalf, happy birthday to you!
Los Pollos Desnudos: And many more. . .
Gandalf takes a deep breath, sucking in as much air as he can hold, and then. . .
Sam: *fart*
Gandalf: *WHOOSH!*
Everyone else: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
A giant ball of flame rolls over everyone. All now stand in silence, feeling quite warm.
Pippin: Ha ha! Your hair looks like a menorah, Merry!
Pippin begins to sing as everyone laughs at each other's new festive hairdos.
Pippin: Dredle dredle dredle, bright the candles burn!
Elrond: SILENCE!!!
Silence.
*bzzzt bzzt*
*crackle crackle*
Elrond: My house is on fire!!!
King Arthur: Run away! Run awaaay!!
Chaos and disorder ensues as everyone dashes for the nearest exit (including the three inch crack), with Pippin all the while singing that annoying Hanukah song.
LPD #1: Phew, that was a close one.
LPD #4: Do they have a fire department in Middle Earth?
LPD #2: Naw, it was disbanded after all the balrogs fell into shadow.
LPD #3: Wait a sec. . .
LPD #1: What is it?
LPD #3: Do you realize what just happened?
LPD #4: No.
LPD #3: . . . WE JUST FINISHED GANDALF'S BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!!!
LPD #1: My god, you're right, #3!
LPD #2: EVERYBODY DANCE!!
They all danced, and were blissfully, blissfully happy. That is, they were until they realized they no longer had a Rivendell.
*End of this Chapter*
ever end?!)
While we were doing something completely different, the party guests were playing a rousing game of charades. Or maybe some other game. Either way, it was rousing.
Elrond: Okay, let's do this the fair way. Raise your hand if you think LPD #1 does the better Gollum impression.
Everyone raises their hand.
Gollum: We demands a rematch!!!
Elrond: Fine. You go first this time, baldy.
Gollum: They stoles it, they stoles it from us. My PRECIOUSSSS!!!!
LPD #1 sits down on the floor and stares up at everyone.
Legolas: Wow.
Frodo: How does she do that?
Elrond: Okay, now who thinks #1 makes the better Gollum?
*unanimous vote*
Elrond: Who thinks Gollum does the better Gollum impression?
Silence.
*cricket cri-
SQUASH!
Gimli: $@%# bug.
LPD #3: GIMLI, HOW COULD YOU?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LPD #4: That was our best cricket! How can we ever replace it?!!!!
LPD #2: That's the last straw, Gimli! We may have turned our faces when you were flirting with the elf girls, and we may have ignored your singing in the bathhouse, but we do so no more! We're sending you to ANGER MANAGEMENT!!!!
Gimli: WHAT???!!!!!!
*poof.* Gimli is gone.
LPD #3: . . .Remember how Sr. Davis gave us all that homework when we were writing chapter 4?
LPD #1: Yes. What about it?
LPD #3: And how he kicked us out of the party?
LPD #1: Yes.
LPD #2: Ah, yes.
LPD #4: Splendid.
Sr. Davis: Hey guys, what's up?
Los Pollos Desnudos: We're sending you to ANGER MANAGEMENT!!!!!
Sr. Davis: WHAT???!!!!!!
*poof.* Sr. Davis is gone.
Gollum: Doesn't anyone feel any sympathy for us?!
Elrond: Who feels sympathy for the giant naked mole rat?
*silence*
*bzzt bzzt*
LPD #3: CRICKET!!!! *sob*
LPD #4: It's okay. We'll get used to flyboy.
Gollum: Drats. This is no fun.
Gollum suddenly remembers the ring in his pocket.
Gollum: Smeagol must go to Mordor! Off we go!!
Gollum dashes through the nearest exit, which just happens to be the three- inch crack in the window.
Gollum: Crapses! Poopses! Curses! Poopses again!
Meanwhile. . .
Elrond: Hit the switch, Arwen!
The lights go off, and 12 elves come through one of the doors carrying a HUGE cake. There are so many candles the top of it appears to be on fire.
Elrond: Ready. . . 1, 2, 3!
All: Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Gandalf, happy birthday to you!
Los Pollos Desnudos: And many more. . .
Gandalf takes a deep breath, sucking in as much air as he can hold, and then. . .
Sam: *fart*
Gandalf: *WHOOSH!*
Everyone else: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
A giant ball of flame rolls over everyone. All now stand in silence, feeling quite warm.
Pippin: Ha ha! Your hair looks like a menorah, Merry!
Pippin begins to sing as everyone laughs at each other's new festive hairdos.
Pippin: Dredle dredle dredle, bright the candles burn!
Elrond: SILENCE!!!
Silence.
*bzzzt bzzt*
*crackle crackle*
Elrond: My house is on fire!!!
King Arthur: Run away! Run awaaay!!
Chaos and disorder ensues as everyone dashes for the nearest exit (including the three inch crack), with Pippin all the while singing that annoying Hanukah song.
LPD #1: Phew, that was a close one.
LPD #4: Do they have a fire department in Middle Earth?
LPD #2: Naw, it was disbanded after all the balrogs fell into shadow.
LPD #3: Wait a sec. . .
LPD #1: What is it?
LPD #3: Do you realize what just happened?
LPD #4: No.
LPD #3: . . . WE JUST FINISHED GANDALF'S BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!!!
LPD #1: My god, you're right, #3!
LPD #2: EVERYBODY DANCE!!
They all danced, and were blissfully, blissfully happy. That is, they were until they realized they no longer had a Rivendell.
*End of this Chapter*