Chapter Four
After what seemed an eternity Jack broke the embrace.
Feeling Rose in his arms like that became too much for him to handle.
Suddenly he felt her lips on his cheek and he knew he was blushing.
"My little way of thanking you since you don't seem to accept it when I put it in words." She whispered in his ear.
"Rose."
For the first time in his life, Jack Dawson found himself lost for words.
Rose didn't say anything, she just smiled and the mischief glimmered in her eyes.
"Are you sure you're fine?"
"Yes, I just feel so weak. Like I could sleep for days."
"Just sleep then. I'll stay right here, I won't go anywhere."
Rose leaned back against her pillow but she felt she couldn't sleep.
Not while Jack was so close beside her.
She wanted to talk to him, get to know him better
"The sun is rising." Rose said.
"Yeah, would you like to see it?"
"Would I!"
Jack helped her out of bed and gave her the dressing gown Molly had laid out for her.
Rose took his hand as they slipped out to the private promenade deck.
Jack heard her hold her breath.
"This is so beautiful."
"Almost as beautiful as you." He teased.
"What me? With a black eye and bruises all over!"
"Don't underestimate yourself Rose, I've never seen a woman as beautiful as you."
"You're just saying that."
She couldn't hide the blush on her cheeks.
Apparently she wasn't as insensible to his compliments as Jack thought she was.
The silence that hung between them was not threatening at all, Jack loved the feel of her soft hand in his own as both stared at the sunrise.
"Do you remember what I told you last night, when you asked me what I wished for after seeing that shooting star?"
All too well, he thought to himself.
"You said you wished for something you can't have."
"If it's any constellation, I'm still wishing for it."
For a moment she looked away but then turned her face towards him again and continued.
"I never asked you what you wished for."
"I don't think it's all that important. Besides if I tell you it won't come true."
"Not even a little hint?" she teased.
"Rose, you are unbelievable."
Another silence followed.
Jack turned to see Rose stare at the sunrise some more and noticed she was shivering.
So he pulled her closer and tried to warm her.
All she did was smile at this unexpected but very tender gesture.
'If only he had the guts to tell me how he feels.' Rose whispered to herself.
The rising sun filled the air with a magnificent orange glow and she couldn't remember when she had ever felt this safe, being in Jack's embrace and resting her head against his chest.
As she looked up to him Jack turned his head to gaze at her.
His lips were only a few inches away, just like they had been yesterday night.
Just like then Rose felt the incredible desire to kiss him, to show him how she felt.
But she didn't have the courage to do so.
She had to be sure of Jack's feelings before destroying the wonderful friendship they shared.
The only true friendship she had ever known.
Rose knew that Jack maybe underestimated the situation.
Cal would not rest until he had her; he would send Lovejoy to search every little corner on this massive ship.
What would happen if he found her together with Jack Dawson, the man Cal despised already?
She tried desperately to remember what happened last night after she had entered her stateroom.
All she could recollect was the look on Cal's face.
Anger, jealousy and even a little bit of sadness.
She knew she was hurting him, no matter how hard she tried to ignore it, Rose knew that Cal did love her.
That he loved her very much.
But she didn't share his feeling, was that her fault?
Was it her fault that she dreamed of a life with this man, this man who was holding her so tenderly in his arms right now?
Was it her fault that she tried to find a way out of the engagement?
For a moment she felt guilty, she never wanted to hurt Cal, no matter how much he had hurt her, he had been good to her, he had been there when she needed a shoulder to cry on when her father had passed away.
But to her, that was all he could ever be.
A companion, someone to talk to, she didn't even consider him to be friend, then how could she think of him as her fiancé, as her husband to have and hold?
Jack was a true friend, she wasn't afraid of telling him what she wanted to say without having to think which words she would use.
And still she wanted more than friendship from him, she wanted to see his face and feel his arms around her day in and day out.
How could she make him understand?
How could she make him love her?
Jack noticed how far of in thoughts Rose was.
All he hoped for was that she was thinking of him, just as he was thinking of her.
After what seemed an eternity Jack broke the embrace.
Feeling Rose in his arms like that became too much for him to handle.
Suddenly he felt her lips on his cheek and he knew he was blushing.
"My little way of thanking you since you don't seem to accept it when I put it in words." She whispered in his ear.
"Rose."
For the first time in his life, Jack Dawson found himself lost for words.
Rose didn't say anything, she just smiled and the mischief glimmered in her eyes.
"Are you sure you're fine?"
"Yes, I just feel so weak. Like I could sleep for days."
"Just sleep then. I'll stay right here, I won't go anywhere."
Rose leaned back against her pillow but she felt she couldn't sleep.
Not while Jack was so close beside her.
She wanted to talk to him, get to know him better
"The sun is rising." Rose said.
"Yeah, would you like to see it?"
"Would I!"
Jack helped her out of bed and gave her the dressing gown Molly had laid out for her.
Rose took his hand as they slipped out to the private promenade deck.
Jack heard her hold her breath.
"This is so beautiful."
"Almost as beautiful as you." He teased.
"What me? With a black eye and bruises all over!"
"Don't underestimate yourself Rose, I've never seen a woman as beautiful as you."
"You're just saying that."
She couldn't hide the blush on her cheeks.
Apparently she wasn't as insensible to his compliments as Jack thought she was.
The silence that hung between them was not threatening at all, Jack loved the feel of her soft hand in his own as both stared at the sunrise.
"Do you remember what I told you last night, when you asked me what I wished for after seeing that shooting star?"
All too well, he thought to himself.
"You said you wished for something you can't have."
"If it's any constellation, I'm still wishing for it."
For a moment she looked away but then turned her face towards him again and continued.
"I never asked you what you wished for."
"I don't think it's all that important. Besides if I tell you it won't come true."
"Not even a little hint?" she teased.
"Rose, you are unbelievable."
Another silence followed.
Jack turned to see Rose stare at the sunrise some more and noticed she was shivering.
So he pulled her closer and tried to warm her.
All she did was smile at this unexpected but very tender gesture.
'If only he had the guts to tell me how he feels.' Rose whispered to herself.
The rising sun filled the air with a magnificent orange glow and she couldn't remember when she had ever felt this safe, being in Jack's embrace and resting her head against his chest.
As she looked up to him Jack turned his head to gaze at her.
His lips were only a few inches away, just like they had been yesterday night.
Just like then Rose felt the incredible desire to kiss him, to show him how she felt.
But she didn't have the courage to do so.
She had to be sure of Jack's feelings before destroying the wonderful friendship they shared.
The only true friendship she had ever known.
Rose knew that Jack maybe underestimated the situation.
Cal would not rest until he had her; he would send Lovejoy to search every little corner on this massive ship.
What would happen if he found her together with Jack Dawson, the man Cal despised already?
She tried desperately to remember what happened last night after she had entered her stateroom.
All she could recollect was the look on Cal's face.
Anger, jealousy and even a little bit of sadness.
She knew she was hurting him, no matter how hard she tried to ignore it, Rose knew that Cal did love her.
That he loved her very much.
But she didn't share his feeling, was that her fault?
Was it her fault that she dreamed of a life with this man, this man who was holding her so tenderly in his arms right now?
Was it her fault that she tried to find a way out of the engagement?
For a moment she felt guilty, she never wanted to hurt Cal, no matter how much he had hurt her, he had been good to her, he had been there when she needed a shoulder to cry on when her father had passed away.
But to her, that was all he could ever be.
A companion, someone to talk to, she didn't even consider him to be friend, then how could she think of him as her fiancé, as her husband to have and hold?
Jack was a true friend, she wasn't afraid of telling him what she wanted to say without having to think which words she would use.
And still she wanted more than friendship from him, she wanted to see his face and feel his arms around her day in and day out.
How could she make him understand?
How could she make him love her?
Jack noticed how far of in thoughts Rose was.
All he hoped for was that she was thinking of him, just as he was thinking of her.