Chapter 9
In which the Dark Lords actually DO something
Sauron: I have an idea! I have an idea!
Random Evil Lords: What is it?! What is it?!
Sauron: We can. . . defeat the elves!
Barney: And how do you propose to do this?
Sauron: . . . Weapons of Mass Destruction!
Barney: Does anyone ELSE have an idea?
Random Evil Lord #59: I know! We could make this large wooden badger. . .
*groan*
Morgoth: Who exactly are we fighting?
Sauron: The elves!
*groan*
Voldemort: Harry Potter!
*groan*
Shai'tan: The Wheel of Cheese!!
*gasp!*
REL #22: No evil lord has ever attempted something so. . . evil!!
Morgoth: And how do we propose to do this?
Barney: I have the most brilliant plan of all time! All you have to do is give me ALL your power!
Glenin: But I like my evil powers!
Strongbad: Hey! There's a female in here?!
Wicked Witch Union: SEXIST PIG!! Who said womyn couldn't be as evil as men! Didn't you know that a wommon created the original Weapon of Mass Destruction?!!
Sauron: And what would that be?
Wicked Witches: The Rubber Mallet!!!
*silence*
Barney: Give me all your powers!!
Evil Lords: NOOOOO!!!!!!
Barney: I'll give you Canadian pennies!
Evil Lords: SHINY!!!!!
All the evil lords hand their powers to Barney.
Barney: WHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Powerless Evil Lords: Shiny. . .
Two days later.
Barney stands behind a podium in a tuxedo. Next to him on a table is a small box-shaped object covered by a white sheet.
Barney: Ladies and Gentlemen, the waiting has paid off! No longer shall we sit around and drink our tea in misery!
*applause*
Barney: The day has come when all that is nice (*cough* sing-a-longs *cough*) shall be turned to darkness!
*applause*
Barney: And so, I present to ye, on this day in January, the third, to be precise. . .
Exploited Peasants: Get on with it!!!
Barney: Alright, alright already. I present to ye- the greatest Weapon of Mass Destruction of all time!!!
Baby Bop pulls of the white sheet revealing- -
A mouse.
Random Powerless Evil Lord #37: What, behind the mouse?
Barney: It is the mouse!!
George W.: Even Iraq had better Weapons of Mass Destruction than that!
*silence*
W: I mean. . . uh. . .
Glenin: It's so cute!
Voldemort: Dog pile on Barney!!!!
Barney: Wait, no! You see, it-
*Barney has been piled upon*.
RPEL #8: Give us our powers back, disgrace to public television!!
While no one is looking, the mouse undoes the latch on its cage and sneaks off to do what it was made to do.
*dog pile ends*
Glenin: Alright, now that overgrown lizard has been dethroned.
Morgoth: So. . . who's leader now?
StrongBad: I AM!!!! Wha haha!! Bow down to the master of Double Deucing!!!
*silence*
W: Maybe we should vote and have the one who gets the least be our leader.
*silence*
Shai'tan: So, who wants some more tea?
RELs: MEEEE!!!!
Voldemort: and those fancy little tea cakes!!
And so the remaining dark lords have a tea party and the mouse is forgotten, to the despair of all.
In which the Dark Lords actually DO something
Sauron: I have an idea! I have an idea!
Random Evil Lords: What is it?! What is it?!
Sauron: We can. . . defeat the elves!
Barney: And how do you propose to do this?
Sauron: . . . Weapons of Mass Destruction!
Barney: Does anyone ELSE have an idea?
Random Evil Lord #59: I know! We could make this large wooden badger. . .
*groan*
Morgoth: Who exactly are we fighting?
Sauron: The elves!
*groan*
Voldemort: Harry Potter!
*groan*
Shai'tan: The Wheel of Cheese!!
*gasp!*
REL #22: No evil lord has ever attempted something so. . . evil!!
Morgoth: And how do we propose to do this?
Barney: I have the most brilliant plan of all time! All you have to do is give me ALL your power!
Glenin: But I like my evil powers!
Strongbad: Hey! There's a female in here?!
Wicked Witch Union: SEXIST PIG!! Who said womyn couldn't be as evil as men! Didn't you know that a wommon created the original Weapon of Mass Destruction?!!
Sauron: And what would that be?
Wicked Witches: The Rubber Mallet!!!
*silence*
Barney: Give me all your powers!!
Evil Lords: NOOOOO!!!!!!
Barney: I'll give you Canadian pennies!
Evil Lords: SHINY!!!!!
All the evil lords hand their powers to Barney.
Barney: WHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Powerless Evil Lords: Shiny. . .
Two days later.
Barney stands behind a podium in a tuxedo. Next to him on a table is a small box-shaped object covered by a white sheet.
Barney: Ladies and Gentlemen, the waiting has paid off! No longer shall we sit around and drink our tea in misery!
*applause*
Barney: The day has come when all that is nice (*cough* sing-a-longs *cough*) shall be turned to darkness!
*applause*
Barney: And so, I present to ye, on this day in January, the third, to be precise. . .
Exploited Peasants: Get on with it!!!
Barney: Alright, alright already. I present to ye- the greatest Weapon of Mass Destruction of all time!!!
Baby Bop pulls of the white sheet revealing- -
A mouse.
Random Powerless Evil Lord #37: What, behind the mouse?
Barney: It is the mouse!!
George W.: Even Iraq had better Weapons of Mass Destruction than that!
*silence*
W: I mean. . . uh. . .
Glenin: It's so cute!
Voldemort: Dog pile on Barney!!!!
Barney: Wait, no! You see, it-
*Barney has been piled upon*.
RPEL #8: Give us our powers back, disgrace to public television!!
While no one is looking, the mouse undoes the latch on its cage and sneaks off to do what it was made to do.
*dog pile ends*
Glenin: Alright, now that overgrown lizard has been dethroned.
Morgoth: So. . . who's leader now?
StrongBad: I AM!!!! Wha haha!! Bow down to the master of Double Deucing!!!
*silence*
W: Maybe we should vote and have the one who gets the least be our leader.
*silence*
Shai'tan: So, who wants some more tea?
RELs: MEEEE!!!!
Voldemort: and those fancy little tea cakes!!
And so the remaining dark lords have a tea party and the mouse is forgotten, to the despair of all.