Previously on Kennyon's Comedy Hour. . .
Kennyon: No, stalling. Let's pull off that moustache and see who the most amazing kisser really is!
Spaz: He is not Dutchy!
Kennyon: Well I don't know how Dutchy kisses, so I don't know if he's better than that guy, but that guy is good! I don't think its Dutchy though.
Dutchy: Yeah cause I'm right here.
*Dutchy walks across the stage past the duct taped stranger. The group waves at him and looks back down.*
Jack: Here goes.
*Jack rips off the moustache to reveal. ....*
Announcer: We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a special bulletin.
Kennyon: He's just kidding I wouldn't do that to you! Besides, I made promises I didn't intend to keep, which brings me to another point. . . Disney movies are growing increasingly. . .
Legs, Agua, Sureshot, Lily, Spaz, and pretty much everyone else: KENNYON!!
Kennyon: fine! Here goes, on with the show.
*Jack, Mush, Kennyon, and Spaz, step back when the moustache is revealed. The group gets excited and Jack calls for everyone.*
Jack: *shouting to people backstage* WE KNOWS WHO DA MOUSTACED STRANGER IS!
*Everyone comes running from backstage. All the cute wittle couples stand together. Staring at the de-moustached stranger still duct taped on the stage. Legs is with Race, Agua is with Kid Blink, Dreamer is with Spot, Spaz is with Dutchy but Lily was no where to be seen so Crutchy stood alone. The newsies without girls are whispering amongst themselves. Kennyon is staring amazed into the face of a dark, curly haired boy.*
Kennyon: All along it's been you.
*Kennyon is smiling. All of her friends told her it was him. After all he was always trying to get her attention and he did make her smile. She just couldn't imagine him doing something like this.* Kennyon: Why couldn't you just tell me you liked me? Why did you have to go and pull a stunt like this?
*Before the de-moustached stranger could answer a sound was heard followed by Lily running on to the stage with a billowing cloud of smoke behind her. Everyone looked at her.*
Spaz: Oh my, Lily what happened?
*Lily approached Kennyon who grabbed her nose at the wayfaring smell of Lily. She smelled oddly of smoke, crackers, ashes, and fish.*
Lily: Don't worry Kennyon; I got rid of every last button.
Kennyon: And they caused an explosion.
Lily: Oh no. The buttons burnt up quickly.
Kennyon: Then what caused the explosion.
Lily: A lot of things combined.
Kennyon: Like what?
*Lily looked around at many different people. All the newsies looked away in shame.*
Kennyon: Well? What's going on? Tell me now!
Lily: Well, I went backstage and got the matches, and I had already finished burning them when Spot came out.
Kennyon: What about Spot? You better tell me.
Spot: Well I saw she was burning things and well I snatched a few bottles of Blinkie Boy's Spot Remover earlier so I thought that Lily could get rid of them by burning them.
Kennyon: and those blew up?
Dutchy: Maybe I should chime in here. When I was inspecting mattress I decided that Timmy's was just too gross. So I had Lily burn it.
*A few more newsies confessed to asking Lily to burn things. Meanwhile the de-moustached stranger had gotten himself out of the duct tape and was sneaking off the stage.*
Kennyon: So let me get this straight, you burned four bottles of chemical radiation, a mattress, a roll of duct tape that Spaz wanted to get rid of because it was soggy and wet, Race's old betting tickets, Jack's old rope, Kid Blink's worn out patches and all of the newsies old banana peels?
Lily: Yeah.
Kennyon: And it caused an explosion!
Lily: No, the stuff didn't cause the explosion. One of Swifty's birds blew up. Apparently it ate a plate of "special" brownies from Mush and Boots.
Kennyon: Why didn't you just say . . . hey where'd he go?
*Everyone on the stage looked around. The boy that had been duct taped up was gone. They all looked high and low and all around. But he was nowhere to be found.*
Kennyon: I just find out who he is and he leaves!
*Kennyon sits on the stage and pulls her knees to her chest. The newsies try and consul her.*
Jack: Don't worry. We'll find him.
Race: Yeah, I'll take Midtown.
Crutchy: I've got da Bronx.
Blink: I'll take Harlem.
*All the newsies leave in turn. Kennyon is still sitting all alone on the stage floor. Legs and Spaz take a seat next to her.*
Spaz: Kennyon we are so sorry!
Legs: Yeah, we are so sorry. I can't believe he left you like that!
Kennyon: You know this show is driving nuts me! And now he left me! I'm not staying here. I'm going on vacation! I'll be back in a few chapters!
Legs: Chapters?
Spaz: Kennyon what are you talking about?
Kennyon: Did I say chapters? I meant hours. I'm taking a spa day.
Legs: But who's going to run the show?
Kennyon: Hmmm . . . . the newsies can't do it. So why don't you two. I'll be back later. Oh and if you-know-who comes back, tell him I'm mad at him.
*With that Kennyon left. Spaz and Legs are on the stage looking around trying to figure out what to do.*
Spaz: Umm. . . Legs?
Legs: yeah?
Spaz: Do you have any idea how to run a TV show?
Legs: Well Kennyon made it look so easy.
Spaz: Well then how hard can it be?
Legs: Yeah, let's go!
*Spaz and Legs run off the stage and the lights go dark.*
Kennyon: No, stalling. Let's pull off that moustache and see who the most amazing kisser really is!
Spaz: He is not Dutchy!
Kennyon: Well I don't know how Dutchy kisses, so I don't know if he's better than that guy, but that guy is good! I don't think its Dutchy though.
Dutchy: Yeah cause I'm right here.
*Dutchy walks across the stage past the duct taped stranger. The group waves at him and looks back down.*
Jack: Here goes.
*Jack rips off the moustache to reveal. ....*
Announcer: We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a special bulletin.
Kennyon: He's just kidding I wouldn't do that to you! Besides, I made promises I didn't intend to keep, which brings me to another point. . . Disney movies are growing increasingly. . .
Legs, Agua, Sureshot, Lily, Spaz, and pretty much everyone else: KENNYON!!
Kennyon: fine! Here goes, on with the show.
*Jack, Mush, Kennyon, and Spaz, step back when the moustache is revealed. The group gets excited and Jack calls for everyone.*
Jack: *shouting to people backstage* WE KNOWS WHO DA MOUSTACED STRANGER IS!
*Everyone comes running from backstage. All the cute wittle couples stand together. Staring at the de-moustached stranger still duct taped on the stage. Legs is with Race, Agua is with Kid Blink, Dreamer is with Spot, Spaz is with Dutchy but Lily was no where to be seen so Crutchy stood alone. The newsies without girls are whispering amongst themselves. Kennyon is staring amazed into the face of a dark, curly haired boy.*
Kennyon: All along it's been you.
*Kennyon is smiling. All of her friends told her it was him. After all he was always trying to get her attention and he did make her smile. She just couldn't imagine him doing something like this.* Kennyon: Why couldn't you just tell me you liked me? Why did you have to go and pull a stunt like this?
*Before the de-moustached stranger could answer a sound was heard followed by Lily running on to the stage with a billowing cloud of smoke behind her. Everyone looked at her.*
Spaz: Oh my, Lily what happened?
*Lily approached Kennyon who grabbed her nose at the wayfaring smell of Lily. She smelled oddly of smoke, crackers, ashes, and fish.*
Lily: Don't worry Kennyon; I got rid of every last button.
Kennyon: And they caused an explosion.
Lily: Oh no. The buttons burnt up quickly.
Kennyon: Then what caused the explosion.
Lily: A lot of things combined.
Kennyon: Like what?
*Lily looked around at many different people. All the newsies looked away in shame.*
Kennyon: Well? What's going on? Tell me now!
Lily: Well, I went backstage and got the matches, and I had already finished burning them when Spot came out.
Kennyon: What about Spot? You better tell me.
Spot: Well I saw she was burning things and well I snatched a few bottles of Blinkie Boy's Spot Remover earlier so I thought that Lily could get rid of them by burning them.
Kennyon: and those blew up?
Dutchy: Maybe I should chime in here. When I was inspecting mattress I decided that Timmy's was just too gross. So I had Lily burn it.
*A few more newsies confessed to asking Lily to burn things. Meanwhile the de-moustached stranger had gotten himself out of the duct tape and was sneaking off the stage.*
Kennyon: So let me get this straight, you burned four bottles of chemical radiation, a mattress, a roll of duct tape that Spaz wanted to get rid of because it was soggy and wet, Race's old betting tickets, Jack's old rope, Kid Blink's worn out patches and all of the newsies old banana peels?
Lily: Yeah.
Kennyon: And it caused an explosion!
Lily: No, the stuff didn't cause the explosion. One of Swifty's birds blew up. Apparently it ate a plate of "special" brownies from Mush and Boots.
Kennyon: Why didn't you just say . . . hey where'd he go?
*Everyone on the stage looked around. The boy that had been duct taped up was gone. They all looked high and low and all around. But he was nowhere to be found.*
Kennyon: I just find out who he is and he leaves!
*Kennyon sits on the stage and pulls her knees to her chest. The newsies try and consul her.*
Jack: Don't worry. We'll find him.
Race: Yeah, I'll take Midtown.
Crutchy: I've got da Bronx.
Blink: I'll take Harlem.
*All the newsies leave in turn. Kennyon is still sitting all alone on the stage floor. Legs and Spaz take a seat next to her.*
Spaz: Kennyon we are so sorry!
Legs: Yeah, we are so sorry. I can't believe he left you like that!
Kennyon: You know this show is driving nuts me! And now he left me! I'm not staying here. I'm going on vacation! I'll be back in a few chapters!
Legs: Chapters?
Spaz: Kennyon what are you talking about?
Kennyon: Did I say chapters? I meant hours. I'm taking a spa day.
Legs: But who's going to run the show?
Kennyon: Hmmm . . . . the newsies can't do it. So why don't you two. I'll be back later. Oh and if you-know-who comes back, tell him I'm mad at him.
*With that Kennyon left. Spaz and Legs are on the stage looking around trying to figure out what to do.*
Spaz: Umm. . . Legs?
Legs: yeah?
Spaz: Do you have any idea how to run a TV show?
Legs: Well Kennyon made it look so easy.
Spaz: Well then how hard can it be?
Legs: Yeah, let's go!
*Spaz and Legs run off the stage and the lights go dark.*