*Big flashing blue and orange lights circle the stage and a loud voice
comes over the intercom. Hey is that Race?*
Race: And now. . . Straight from the studios of Kennyon's Comedy Hour . . . we bring you a temporary replacement! Give it up for the Spaz n' Legs Show! He he he! They actually called it Spazzin Legs! Ha!
*Leave them alone Race.*
Race: fine!
*The curtains open and Legs and Spaz run onto the stage. They are both wearing polka dot dresses and they look really cute!*
Spaz: Hi! Welcome to our show!
Legs: While Kennyon is away feeling better, we are taking over.
Spaz: So sit back and wait for the humor to come.
*Legs and Spaz look around for a minute. Then Legs turns to Spaz*
Legs: What next?
Spaz: I dunno! Stuff usually just happens for Kennyon!
Legs: Maybe we should do that thing for Bumlets.
Spaz: What thing?
Legs: You know,
Spaz: What?
Legs: The fan spinning contest!
Spaz: OH! Ok. That sounds good.
Legs: *turning back to audience* Well we have a special treat. Kennyon couldn't get to this before so we thought we would help her out. We are going to do the contest to find Bumlets.
Bumlets: Hey that's me!
Spaz: Yes it is!
Legs: His very own goil.
Bumlets: She can fence with me.
Spaz: I'm warning you . . . if you stab anyone with that pointy stick, you will get it from me.
Bumlets: Oh yeah . . . whatcha gunna do! Duct tape me to death?
Spaz: That's exactly what I will do!
Legs: She isn't lying either! She'll do it.
Bumlets: Oh I am so scared. . . .No really, I am.
*Bumlets cowers behind Legs*
Race: Hey get you'se hands off me goil!
Bumlets: *jumping away* Sorry Race.
Spaz: So where we? Oh yes! The contest.
Legs: We have two contestants. Sureshot Higgins and Katie!
Spaz: My dear friend Katie.
Legs: So here is what ya have ta do. We have two fans attached to the ceiling right over there.
*Legs points to two fans, a good distance apart hanging above two tables.*
Spaz: Sureshot and Katie will get on top of the tables and we will play "I'm King of New York"
Race: Oh, can we really sing?
Spaz: You are kind of missing a certain newsie.
Jack: Oh we know. . . Oh, I forgot to tell ya, I saw him earlier.
Legs: Why didn't you stop him?
Jack: He was singing a song with the tune of Sante Fe; I just got caught up in the moment.
Spaz: Jack, you are positively the dumbest newsie to walk into a dairy queen after midnight.
Jack: What?
Spaz: Exactly.
Jack: Whatever.
Race: Well, I have ta tell ya, you-know-who doesn't have a solo in "King of New York"
Legs: That is true, Spaz.
Spaz: Fine. You guys can sing it.
*Race and Jack spit shake.*
Race: Heya guys we're singin "King of New. . .
Spaz: Wait . . . what about Denton?
Jack: Ooopps.
Race: Forgot bout him.
Jack: Wait, I know what we can do.
*Jack whispers something to Race. Race nods and they smile.*
Race: Don't worry we got it covered. We just have to go get the boys ready. And go kidnap someone from a spa.
*The two leave before Legs and Spaz realize what they just said. Legs tries to call but they don't hear her.*
Legs: Leave Kennyon alone!
Spaz: They're gone. Besides if they know what's good for them, they'll leave her alone.
Legs: Well those two aren't the smartest. I love Race I do . . . but sometimes, he isn't the most delicious cookie in the jar.
Spaz: Yeah . . . neither is Dutchy.
Katie: Um . . . can we get started?
Sureshot: Yeah, or do we have to figure this out our selves?
Legs: Oh sorry. We were worried about. . .
Katie: About Kennyon. Yeah we know.
Spaz: Anyway. They are going to sing King of New York, and you two will be standing on the tables.
Legs: When it comes to the point where Bumlets jumps on the fans,
Spaz: You two will jump up and grab hold.
Legs: You will spin and the one who spins the longest. . .
Spaz: Gets Bumlets.
Legs: Simple as that.
Sureshot: *whispering to Katie* Knowin these two, it isn't going to turn out so simple.
Katie: *trying to cover a laugh* No kiddin!
Spaz: What are you two sayin?
Sureshot: Nothin.
Legs: Okay, as soon as the guys get back we can start.
*At that a voice is heard from backstage. A loud angry voice.*
Kennyon: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS STOLE ME AWAY FROM MY SPA DAY TO MAKE ME COME HERE AND SING "KING OF NEW YORK" WITH YOU. . . .I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE SINGING ABOUT ME OR NOT. I HAVE ALREADY BEEN HURT EMOTIONALLY BY ONE NEWSIE; I DON'T NEED PHYSICAL PAIN FROM YOU GUYS TOO. . . NO I CANNOT GO BACK TO THE SPA AFTER THIS! THEY ONLY LET YOU IN ONCE A DAY. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU RACE! AND JACK, WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP HIM!
*Kennyon finally walks out on to stage and looks around. Her eyes are full of tears *
Kennyon: I guess I have to sing this.
*She turns back and heads back to get here costume on. Spaz looks at Race and Jack like "I told you so." The two newsies look away and whistle. They didn't believe that Kennyon would yell like that.*
Race: This is all you-know-who's fault!
Jack: Why'd he leave her like that?
Race: and he was always one of me favorite newsies.
Jack: Yeah, he could improve da truth like nothing else.
Race: That moustache didn't improve his truth though.
Jack: Dat's true.
Spaz: Hey you two ready?
Jack: Yeah, hopefully Kennyon will sing along okay.
Legs: So everyone is ready?
Rave: Yup. We ready to get started Jacky boy?
Jack: Yeah let's go Race.
*Jack and Race walk off the stage. Sureshot and Katie jump up on the two tables and Spaz and Legs leave. The lights go down and the stage hands set up a restaurant scene. All the newsies in the scene come out. Kennyon looks mad when she enters but she still says all her lines. So she won't be out shined by some stupid newsies*
Kennyon: Hey fellas. Hey, hey! Big time.
Boots: What you got there Jack?
Spot: Where's me picture? Where's me picture?
Boots: What's that? That all about us?
Mush: Look at that Jack. You look like a gentleman.
Jack: Will you get your fingers off me face?
Spot: Where does it say my name? Where's my name?
Jack: Will you quit thinking about yourself?
David: You got us on the front page!
Kennyon: You got yourselves on the front page. I just got to make sure you stay there.
Skittery: So what. You get your picture in the papes, so what's that get you, huh?
Mush: What are you talkin' about?
Jack: Shut up, boy. You been in a bad mood all day!
Skittery: I'm not in a bad mood!
Race: Glum and dumb. What's the matta with you? You get your picture in the papes, you're famous. Your famous, you get anything you want. That's what so great about New York!
*The music begins and so does the song*
Mush:
A pair of new shoes with matchin' laces!
Race:
A permanent box at Sheepshead races!
Spot:
A porcelain tub with boilin' water!
Kid Blink:
A Saturday night with the mayor's daughter!
Race:
Look at me
I'm the king of New York
Suddenly
I'm respectable
Starin' right at 'cha
Lousy with stature
Jack:
Nobbin' with all the muckety-mucks
I'm blowin' my dough and goin' deluxe
Race:
And there I be
Ain't I pretty?
Race and Jack:
It's my city
I'm the king of New York!
Boots:
A corduroy suit with fitted knickers
Les:
A mezzanine seat to see the flickers
Snipeshooter:
Havana cigars that cost a quarter
David:
A brand new dress for the star of the hour!
Newsies:
Tip your hat
she's the queen of New York
Kennyon:
How 'bout that!
I'm the queen of New York
Newsies:
In nothing flat
She'll be hosting
Brooklyn to Trenton
Our girl Kennyon
Kid Blink:
Makin' a hit show out of a hunch
Kennyon:
Protecting the weak
Race:
And payin' for lunch
Kennyon:
When I'm at bat
Strong men crumble
Race:
Proud yet humble
Race and Kennyon:
I'm (She's) the queen of New York
All:
I gotta be either dead or dreamin'
'Cause look at that screen with my face beamin'
Tomorrow they may throw dishes at it
But I was a star for one whole minute
Startin' now
I'm the king of New York
Kennyon:
Ain't ya heard?
I'm the queen of New York
Newsies:
Holy cow
It's miracle
Pulitzer's cryin'
Weasel, he's dyin'
Flashpots are shootin' bright as the sun
I'm one highfalutin' son-of-a-gun
Don't ask me how
Fortune found me
Fate just crowned me
Now I'm king of New York
Look and see
Once had answers
Now a dancer
I'm the king of New York
Victory!
Front page story
Guts and glory
I'm the king of New York!
*Just before the word "Victory" Katie and Sureshot jump up on the fans. They begin to spin and as the music ends they continue to spin. They're pretty strong right now. Kennyon is looking pretty mad. After the song ends she storms back stage muttering about you-know-who. All the newsies look after her. They can tell she's really hurt. All the boys look back at the two spinning girls. They continue to watch. This might take a little longer than planned. Time for a commercial.*
Race: And now. . . Straight from the studios of Kennyon's Comedy Hour . . . we bring you a temporary replacement! Give it up for the Spaz n' Legs Show! He he he! They actually called it Spazzin Legs! Ha!
*Leave them alone Race.*
Race: fine!
*The curtains open and Legs and Spaz run onto the stage. They are both wearing polka dot dresses and they look really cute!*
Spaz: Hi! Welcome to our show!
Legs: While Kennyon is away feeling better, we are taking over.
Spaz: So sit back and wait for the humor to come.
*Legs and Spaz look around for a minute. Then Legs turns to Spaz*
Legs: What next?
Spaz: I dunno! Stuff usually just happens for Kennyon!
Legs: Maybe we should do that thing for Bumlets.
Spaz: What thing?
Legs: You know,
Spaz: What?
Legs: The fan spinning contest!
Spaz: OH! Ok. That sounds good.
Legs: *turning back to audience* Well we have a special treat. Kennyon couldn't get to this before so we thought we would help her out. We are going to do the contest to find Bumlets.
Bumlets: Hey that's me!
Spaz: Yes it is!
Legs: His very own goil.
Bumlets: She can fence with me.
Spaz: I'm warning you . . . if you stab anyone with that pointy stick, you will get it from me.
Bumlets: Oh yeah . . . whatcha gunna do! Duct tape me to death?
Spaz: That's exactly what I will do!
Legs: She isn't lying either! She'll do it.
Bumlets: Oh I am so scared. . . .No really, I am.
*Bumlets cowers behind Legs*
Race: Hey get you'se hands off me goil!
Bumlets: *jumping away* Sorry Race.
Spaz: So where we? Oh yes! The contest.
Legs: We have two contestants. Sureshot Higgins and Katie!
Spaz: My dear friend Katie.
Legs: So here is what ya have ta do. We have two fans attached to the ceiling right over there.
*Legs points to two fans, a good distance apart hanging above two tables.*
Spaz: Sureshot and Katie will get on top of the tables and we will play "I'm King of New York"
Race: Oh, can we really sing?
Spaz: You are kind of missing a certain newsie.
Jack: Oh we know. . . Oh, I forgot to tell ya, I saw him earlier.
Legs: Why didn't you stop him?
Jack: He was singing a song with the tune of Sante Fe; I just got caught up in the moment.
Spaz: Jack, you are positively the dumbest newsie to walk into a dairy queen after midnight.
Jack: What?
Spaz: Exactly.
Jack: Whatever.
Race: Well, I have ta tell ya, you-know-who doesn't have a solo in "King of New York"
Legs: That is true, Spaz.
Spaz: Fine. You guys can sing it.
*Race and Jack spit shake.*
Race: Heya guys we're singin "King of New. . .
Spaz: Wait . . . what about Denton?
Jack: Ooopps.
Race: Forgot bout him.
Jack: Wait, I know what we can do.
*Jack whispers something to Race. Race nods and they smile.*
Race: Don't worry we got it covered. We just have to go get the boys ready. And go kidnap someone from a spa.
*The two leave before Legs and Spaz realize what they just said. Legs tries to call but they don't hear her.*
Legs: Leave Kennyon alone!
Spaz: They're gone. Besides if they know what's good for them, they'll leave her alone.
Legs: Well those two aren't the smartest. I love Race I do . . . but sometimes, he isn't the most delicious cookie in the jar.
Spaz: Yeah . . . neither is Dutchy.
Katie: Um . . . can we get started?
Sureshot: Yeah, or do we have to figure this out our selves?
Legs: Oh sorry. We were worried about. . .
Katie: About Kennyon. Yeah we know.
Spaz: Anyway. They are going to sing King of New York, and you two will be standing on the tables.
Legs: When it comes to the point where Bumlets jumps on the fans,
Spaz: You two will jump up and grab hold.
Legs: You will spin and the one who spins the longest. . .
Spaz: Gets Bumlets.
Legs: Simple as that.
Sureshot: *whispering to Katie* Knowin these two, it isn't going to turn out so simple.
Katie: *trying to cover a laugh* No kiddin!
Spaz: What are you two sayin?
Sureshot: Nothin.
Legs: Okay, as soon as the guys get back we can start.
*At that a voice is heard from backstage. A loud angry voice.*
Kennyon: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS STOLE ME AWAY FROM MY SPA DAY TO MAKE ME COME HERE AND SING "KING OF NEW YORK" WITH YOU. . . .I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE SINGING ABOUT ME OR NOT. I HAVE ALREADY BEEN HURT EMOTIONALLY BY ONE NEWSIE; I DON'T NEED PHYSICAL PAIN FROM YOU GUYS TOO. . . NO I CANNOT GO BACK TO THE SPA AFTER THIS! THEY ONLY LET YOU IN ONCE A DAY. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU RACE! AND JACK, WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP HIM!
*Kennyon finally walks out on to stage and looks around. Her eyes are full of tears *
Kennyon: I guess I have to sing this.
*She turns back and heads back to get here costume on. Spaz looks at Race and Jack like "I told you so." The two newsies look away and whistle. They didn't believe that Kennyon would yell like that.*
Race: This is all you-know-who's fault!
Jack: Why'd he leave her like that?
Race: and he was always one of me favorite newsies.
Jack: Yeah, he could improve da truth like nothing else.
Race: That moustache didn't improve his truth though.
Jack: Dat's true.
Spaz: Hey you two ready?
Jack: Yeah, hopefully Kennyon will sing along okay.
Legs: So everyone is ready?
Rave: Yup. We ready to get started Jacky boy?
Jack: Yeah let's go Race.
*Jack and Race walk off the stage. Sureshot and Katie jump up on the two tables and Spaz and Legs leave. The lights go down and the stage hands set up a restaurant scene. All the newsies in the scene come out. Kennyon looks mad when she enters but she still says all her lines. So she won't be out shined by some stupid newsies*
Kennyon: Hey fellas. Hey, hey! Big time.
Boots: What you got there Jack?
Spot: Where's me picture? Where's me picture?
Boots: What's that? That all about us?
Mush: Look at that Jack. You look like a gentleman.
Jack: Will you get your fingers off me face?
Spot: Where does it say my name? Where's my name?
Jack: Will you quit thinking about yourself?
David: You got us on the front page!
Kennyon: You got yourselves on the front page. I just got to make sure you stay there.
Skittery: So what. You get your picture in the papes, so what's that get you, huh?
Mush: What are you talkin' about?
Jack: Shut up, boy. You been in a bad mood all day!
Skittery: I'm not in a bad mood!
Race: Glum and dumb. What's the matta with you? You get your picture in the papes, you're famous. Your famous, you get anything you want. That's what so great about New York!
*The music begins and so does the song*
Mush:
A pair of new shoes with matchin' laces!
Race:
A permanent box at Sheepshead races!
Spot:
A porcelain tub with boilin' water!
Kid Blink:
A Saturday night with the mayor's daughter!
Race:
Look at me
I'm the king of New York
Suddenly
I'm respectable
Starin' right at 'cha
Lousy with stature
Jack:
Nobbin' with all the muckety-mucks
I'm blowin' my dough and goin' deluxe
Race:
And there I be
Ain't I pretty?
Race and Jack:
It's my city
I'm the king of New York!
Boots:
A corduroy suit with fitted knickers
Les:
A mezzanine seat to see the flickers
Snipeshooter:
Havana cigars that cost a quarter
David:
A brand new dress for the star of the hour!
Newsies:
Tip your hat
she's the queen of New York
Kennyon:
How 'bout that!
I'm the queen of New York
Newsies:
In nothing flat
She'll be hosting
Brooklyn to Trenton
Our girl Kennyon
Kid Blink:
Makin' a hit show out of a hunch
Kennyon:
Protecting the weak
Race:
And payin' for lunch
Kennyon:
When I'm at bat
Strong men crumble
Race:
Proud yet humble
Race and Kennyon:
I'm (She's) the queen of New York
All:
I gotta be either dead or dreamin'
'Cause look at that screen with my face beamin'
Tomorrow they may throw dishes at it
But I was a star for one whole minute
Startin' now
I'm the king of New York
Kennyon:
Ain't ya heard?
I'm the queen of New York
Newsies:
Holy cow
It's miracle
Pulitzer's cryin'
Weasel, he's dyin'
Flashpots are shootin' bright as the sun
I'm one highfalutin' son-of-a-gun
Don't ask me how
Fortune found me
Fate just crowned me
Now I'm king of New York
Look and see
Once had answers
Now a dancer
I'm the king of New York
Victory!
Front page story
Guts and glory
I'm the king of New York!
*Just before the word "Victory" Katie and Sureshot jump up on the fans. They begin to spin and as the music ends they continue to spin. They're pretty strong right now. Kennyon is looking pretty mad. After the song ends she storms back stage muttering about you-know-who. All the newsies look after her. They can tell she's really hurt. All the boys look back at the two spinning girls. They continue to watch. This might take a little longer than planned. Time for a commercial.*