*And now it's time for the awesome adventures of Duct Tape Guy and Moustached Man. AKA Dutchy and Specs. Cue cheesy theme song.*
Dutchy was a guy!
He was a duct tape guy!
He could break brick walls with his head
I dunno, why, that's just what he said.
Specs was a man!
He was the Mustached Man!
He could burn things with the lasers in his eyes
He's so cute, he makes Kennyon sigh!
Facing terrorous terrors
To bring back their girl-ers
Bashing brick walls, and burning things up
To save the day, YUP, YUP, YUP!
*Duct Tape Guy and Moustached Man are heading back stage. They are following the trail of screams that Kennyon left behind. She screamed so loud and high that the screams followed her. They finally arrive at the amazing unknown.*
Specs: Alright Duct Tape Guy, this is the last chance you have to turn back.
Dutchy: I can do this Moustached Man. Let's go!
*Specs and Dutchy open the door to Timmy's room slowly as they step in. Specs goes first. It's dark in there and scratching noises are coming from the walls.*
Dutchy: Hey Specs how about a little light?
Specs: I can't make light Duct Tape Guy! Unless you want light from fire!
Dutchy: Oh.
Specs: Why don't you try and find the light switch.
Dutchy: Um. . . .Here it is.
*Dutchy flips the light switch and the light goes on. It reveals a bed by the door and a huge room full of stuff all over the floor and the walls, and the shelves, and well everywhere else.*
Specs: Oh my, look at all this junk!
Dutchy: And what is that smell?
Specs: Well Duct Tape Guy, let's try and find Spaz and Kennyon. They need us.
Dutchy: Hmmm. . . . Where do you think the green garden gnomes would have taken them?
Specs: Well . . . um. . .
*Specs and Dutchy look around trying to figure out where in this vast mess the two girls would be.*
Dutchy: Let's try this way.
*They start walking around the bed and forward. They begin to call out.*
Specs: KENNYON!
Dutchy: SPAZ-A-RINA!
Specs: WHERE ARE YOU GIRLS?
*Specs suddenly trips on something is sent plummeting into what appears to be a black hole.*
Dutchy: Spe. I mean Moustached Man! Are you okay?
Specs: Yeah, luckily this black hole had a bottom. Here try and get me out.
*Dutchy reaches in and tries to help Specs out*
MEANWHILE. . .
*Kennyon and Spaz are sitting inside a cage in the corner of Timmy's room. Green garden gnomes are surrounding the cage and guarding the two.*
Kennyon: So when do you think Specs will come rescue me?
Spaz: You! What about me?
Kennyon: Oh, right. When do you think Specs will come rescue us?
Spaz: I'm not sure. I hope it's soon. This cage is very uncomfortable.
GGG1: Will you two shut up! Some of us are trying to guard you here!
Kennyon: You guys seem to be under a lot of stress.
Spaz: Yeah why are you guys so angry?
GGG2: Don't answer that William.
Kennyon: Oh you guys have names?
Spaz: Nice to meet you William.
Kennyon: Do you mind if we call you Will?
Spaz: Oh that reminds me. . . Have you seen that new movie . . . with Orlando Bloom in it?
Kennyon: Pirates of the Caribbean? Yeah I love that movie.
Spaz: I want to see it.
Kennyon: You haven't yet?
Spaz: Not yet. . . I really want to though. . .
William/GGG1: Oh great. Thanks for telling them my name Bill!
Bill/GGG2: How was I supposed to know that those two never shut up?
Kennyon: Your name is Bill! Nice to meet you Bill.
Spaz: He he he. Will and Bill. I like it. Do you guys want to play a game with us?
Will: A game?
Bill: You want to play a game with us?
Kennyon: Sure why not.
Spaz: We don't have anything better to do.
Will: Well I guess so. . .
Bill: Sure!
BACK TO THE SUPERHEROES. . . .
*Dutchy has thrown a rope of something down to Specs*
Dutchy: Do ya got it buddy?
Specs: Yup. Now pull me up.
Dutchy: What! You're heavier than me!
Specs: Duct Tape Guy, you have superhuman strength. Now pull me up.
Dutchy: Oh yeah forgot about that!
*Dutchy pulls Specs out of the hole and they begin to walk deeper into the bedroom.*
Specs: Any sign of them yet?
Dutchy: Not yet . . . but. . . .Holy biscuits and gravy! What is that?
*Dutchy and Specs look up to see a twenty foot tall teddy bear. It's a hot pink bear.*
Bear thing: Mwah ha ha! I've been sent her by Gork.
Specs: Who in the name of Abe Lincoln's mother is Gork?
Dutchy: Yeah, we're new at this super hero thing. So is Gork against us, or for us?
Bear: He's against you! You two aren't very smart are you?
Specs: Kennyon says I'm the smartest brunette boy with glasses she knows!
Dutchy: And that makes you special, how?
Specs: Well Kennyon says so.
Dutchy: O. . . .K. . . .
Specs: What's wrong with that?
*The bear and Dutchy look at Specs funny before moving on.*
Bear: Well I have come to stop your quest!
Dutchy: You can't do that! Spaz will kill me if I don't rescue her!
Specs: He's not joking! And Kennyon will kill me for Spaz killing Dutchy.
Dutchy: It wouldn't be pretty. . .
Specs: I'm pretty.
Dutchy: *laughs* Sure you are! And I'm the Easter bunny!
Specs: You are? Wow! Can I have some Easter eggs?
Dutchy: Specs, in a brain race, you would get the "Best Effort" award.
Bear: *rolls eyes* Can we just kind of move on?
Specs: Well, actually. We've never fought a villain before.
Dutchy: We wouldn't know what to do.
Bear: Well I guess I could explain to you the fundamentals of fighting your foe. . . .It might take a while though.
Specs: Hmmm . . . . Either run away and try and find Kennyon with an evil teddy bear following me, or learn how to fight and then do it.
Dutchy: Spaz and Kennyon can take care of them selves for a while. Okay, start explaining.
Bear: You sure.
Specs: Of course. *Specs jumps up and shakes the bear's hand*
*The bear begins to break out in a seizure.*
Dutchy: You idiot! What did you do?
Specs: I dunno. . . I just shook his hand.
Bear: You . . . found. . . .My . . . weakness! I'm. . . .So. . . .Sorry. . . Gork! They're. . . .Smarter. . . .Than . . . they . . . appear!
Specs: Hey I represent that remark.
Dutchy: Of course you do. Well I guess we better keep moving.
*The bear collapses on the ground and Dutchy and Specs begin to walk again.*
KENNYON AND SPAZ . . .
Kennyon: Got any two's?
Will: Nope. Go fish.
Spaz: You cheater! I can see your two's right there.
Bill: She's right. You have three of them!
Will: What? Oh. Yeah, here ya go Kennyon.
Kennyon: Thank you. Spaz, do you have any King's?
Spaz: Arrgggh! Here you go!
*Spaz hands Kennyon the kings and Kennyon begins to dance.*
Kennyon: I won again! Yeah! I love this game.
Spaz: You always win.
Will: Yeah, it's no fair.
Bill: I bet it's a rigged deck.
Spaz: Prolly. . .
Kennyon: It's not! I'm just really good.
Spaz: Uh huh. . . Let's play with my cards.
Kennyon: Fine. 7
cards each. . .
Spaz: No, not go fish. I want to play a
game of California Speed against you.
Kennyon: But that game goes on forever!
Spaz: I realize that. But it will be worth it,
Kennyon: Alright. 26 cards each.
*Spaz deals the cards and each girl lays down four*
THE SUPERHERO'S AGAIN. . . .
Specs: Oh, the big red letter stands for the Jell-o family. Oh the big red letter stands for the Jell-o family. It's Jell-o, yum yum yum. Jell-o pudding yum yum yum! Jell-o tapioca pudding. Try all three!
Dutchy: Where'd you learn that song?
Specs: Kennyon taught it to me. She says it's a camp song. I like it cause it's about Jell-o.
*The two superhero's come up to a bridge that a troll is guarding. Yes this is all in Timmy's room. If you don't think it's possible then a wizard did it. So if you ever notice a glitch, a wizard did it.*
Troll: Halt! Who goes there!
Specs: It is I, Moustached Man and my comrade Duct Tape Guy. We wish to cross your bridge.
Dutchy: Please?
Troll: Before you pass you must answer my riddle.
Specs: oh I love riddles!
Dutchy: Shut up Specs.
Troll: A woman has 7 children, one half of them are boys. How is this possible?
Dutchy: Hmmm. . . .
Specs: That's easy. They're all boys.
Dutchy: Wow, Specs! I'm proud.
Troll. Very good. But can you answer this one. How many letters are in the alphabet?
Specs: Eleven! T.H.E. A.L.P.H.A.B.E.T!
Troll: Very good.
Dutchy: I was going to say 26.
Troll: Hmmm. . . .
Specs: Look I have answered two of your stupid riddles. Can we go now?
Troll: Yes. Off with you. But I must warn you . . . what lies on the other side of that bridge may terrify you.
Dutchy: What ever you say dude.
*The two superheroes begin to walk across the bridge.*
Troll: Remember. . . .Beware!
Specs: I think his brain is. . . Oh my! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Dutchy: What is it . . . .?AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
KENNYON AND SPAZ . . .
Kennyon: Ha I won! I won!
Spaz: How is that possible? I am pro at that game!
Kennyon: Well so am I apparently.
Spaz: How about best two out of three?
SUPERHEROES. . .
Specs: He didn't say it was going to be this.
Dutchy: Oh my eyes! My virgin eyes!
Specs: PPffft, yeah right.
Dutchy: That is just wrong!
Specs: No kidding.
*In front of our two superhero boys is a bunch of green garden gnomes dancing. Their leader is . ....Les! This isn't good.*
Specs: Well maybe we can sneak past without them. . .
Les: DUTCHY! SPECS! What are you two doing here? Did you come to join my dance class?
Specs: . . . seeing us.
Les: Oh this is great! Everyone I would like you to meet two of my good friends. This is Specs and this is Dutchy. They have come to join my dance class.
Dutchy: Actually Les we are looking for Kennyon and Spaz.
Les: Nonsense. You two can join my dance class. Specs stand here. Nice spandex by the way. And Dutchy you over there. Oh and one more thing. If you try to escape, the green garden gnomes will come after you throwing large quantities of Crayola Crayons. And they will be unsharpened.
Specs: Oh no!
Dutchy: How will we get out of this one?
*Will our two superheroes make it out of the Dance class from Hades? Will they rescue Kennyon and Spaz? Find out on the next episode of the adventures of Moustached Man and Duct Tape Guy.*
Spot: Woo hoo! Next Episode hurry.
Lily: Spot, I think we all need a bathroom break.
Mush: No kidding. Al right everyone. Ten minute bathroom break.
*All the newsies stand and head to the bathrooms. Sureshot approaches Jack.*
Sureshot: Um. . . Jack?
Jack: Oh hi Sureshot!
Sureshot: I have been thinking and. . . . I will be your girl.
Jack: Really?! That's great. You are a heck of a lot better than Sarah.
Sureshot: Yeah she scared me somewhat.
Jack: Oh wonderful. Well you can sit with me when we get back.
Sureshot: Okay. That will be great.
*Everyone heads out to the bathrooms and the lights fade*