*Welcome back to Kennyon's Comedy Hour! She survived hiking up that mountain. She survived that agonizing 13 miles, more than half of which was uphill. She survived the devastating heat, and the millions of bugs! She survived the grasshoppers and the Mormon crickets. (If you don't know what they are, they are huge black crickets that make funny noises and can get up to almost 4 inches in length, not something you want on you while you sleep, although one of the boys ate one for ten bucks) She survived the hot boys around her all in period clothing, pushing and pulling and walking, and pulling off their shirts when it got too hot. . . .Okay maybe that part wasn't that bad. But Kennyon survived. Now we are back. She only got I think 6 reviews so we are shunning Spaz momentarily for not reviewing four more times. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Moment of shunning is over. So I hope you all know what happened last chapter. Well here we go!*
Spot: Okay, is everyone . . . ahem . . . relieved?
Shot: Yes we are all finished in the restroom. Hey Jack let's sit over here.
Jack: Okay.
Bumlets: WAIT!
Jack: What is it Bumlets?
Bumlets: Don't you all remember what yesterday was?
Blink: Oh, I do!
Agua: Oh I'm so proud of you Blink! What was it?
Blink: *whispers something to Agua.*
Agua: Oh yeah! I remember now. What are you guys going to do?
Bumlets: Well I thought that we could *whispers something to everyone.*
Delphie: She's coming! Hurry boys!
*The newsies all run into formation and get ready to do something special. Katie comes walking out of stage left. When she reaches center stage the newsies start.*
Newsies. Happy Birthday to you!
Bumlets: Wooo!
Newsies: Happy Birthday to you!
Bumlets: Woooo!
Newsies: Happy Birthday to Katie. . . .
Bumlets: I love you!
Newsies: Happy Birthday to you!
Bumlets: Woooo!
Jack: One, two three four. Hit it!
Mush, Jack and Spot: Happy Happy birthday from all of us to you!
We wish it was our birthday so we could too! Hey!
*Katie looks around beaming as Bumlets carries out a cake with "Happy Birthday Katie" and 17 candles on it.*
Bumlets: This was originally Kennyon's idea. We wished she could have been here, but you know what happened. So go ahead, she'd want you to blow out your candles.
Katie: Oh Yay! Hmmm. . . . what should I wish for. . . .Oh I know!
*Katie blows out the candles and Delphie takes the cake to be cut. All the newsies cheer, they get cake while watching a superhero movie.*
Katie: Thank you guys. And when Specs rescues Kennyon she will get a big hug for this! Okay everyone, let's watch the adventures of Moustached Man and Duct Tape Guy.
*Everyone pulls up a bean bag chair as the cake is passed out. Katie sits down with Bumlets next to her.*
Katie: Thank you for this.
Bumlets: Of course. It's all for you!
Katie: So what did you get me?
Bumlets: Nope, I'm not going to ruin the surprise.
Katie: What surprise?
Bumlets: Kennyon made us promise we wouldn't give you your presents unless she was around.
Katie: She did, did she? That's okay. I will get it out of Mush later.
Bumlets: We already planned ahead for that. Spot and Blink found some of Spaz's Duct tape and his mouth is shut.
*Bumlets points to Mush whose hands are duct taped behind his back and whose mouth is duct taped shut*
Katie: Oh for the love of Sponge Cake.
Spot: Can we start turn on the cameras yet? I want to know what's happened. Are Specs and Dutchy still alive? Did Les hurt them? I would die in that dance class. Oh, did Kennyon and Spaz get rescued? I want to know these things!
*Fine Spot we will start. So you can just shut up and eat your cake. I'll just flip on the camera here. . . .And we can start.*
KENNYON AND SPAZ. . . .
*We see Kennyon asleep in the cage. Spaz is on the other side of the cage plotting how to get back at Kennyon for winning all those card games.*
Spaz: Eureka!
Will: What?
Spaz: I figured out how to get back at her. You see Kennyon has this fear. . .
Bill: What fear?
Will: What are you going to do?
Spaz: First I need you two. . . *she whispers something to the two gnomes and they run off. She looks at Kennyon and laughs evilly at her.* Muah ha ha ha. . . .Cough. . . .Hack. . . GET ME SOME WATER TOO!
SPECS AND DUTCHY. . .
Specs: Hey man you. . . .Huff. . . .Okay over. . . puff. . . there?
Dutchy: I'm. . . .Breathe. . . .Surviving.
*The two heroes of our tale are still stuck in the evil dance class.*
Les: Step one. . . .kick kick kick. . . .And shimmy left. . . .Grapevine right. . . .And do see do!
Specs: His. . . .Dance. . . moves don't even. . . .Make sense!
Dutchy: I know what you mean. . . .Even Spaz. . . doesn't dance this funny!
Specs: Well. . . .I am trying. . . to find a way out. . . .But I can' t see one.
Dutchy: Keep trying. If even one of us can get free. . . .It would be better.
Specs: Yeah.
Les: Up, down, jump jump jump. Kick , flash your arms, pelvic thrust. Karate chop. Shake your head.
SPAZ AND KENNYON. . .
*Kennyon is still asleep but Spaz is in the corner working on her master plan.*
Spaz: Ok, guys. Just a few more tweaks. . . .And there. Done!
*Spaz pulls what she was working on from behind her. It's a pink Barbie jeep. She pulls out the remote control and turns it on. She slowly drives it towards Kennyon. When it's a few feet away she honks the horn and Kennyon jumps.*
Kennyon: Holy Hannah!
*Kennyon moves away until she realizes that Spaz is controlling it.*
Kennyon: Spaz that wasn't funny! I can't believe you did that!
*Kennyon throws a tantrum and paces around the cage. Eventually she grabs hold of the cage door and with her magical powers of being the author opens it and storms away.*
Will: Hey, how'd she do that?
Bill: I don't know but if you let her get away Gork will be angry!
*The gnomes shut the door before Spaz can climb out and run after Kennyon.*
Spaz: Oh great. Now, I'm going to have to be a prisoner alone. Gosh darn mother of soup.
RUNNING AFTER KENNYON. . .
Kennyon: *thinking* what a day! First Specs almost gets tortured by those boys of mine, then I get kidnapped and held in a cage by gnomes, then Spaz betrays me with a scary Barbie car! How dare she. Well I'm getting sick of that cage. I missed Katie's birthday. Time to find Specs and apologize. Then send Dutchy to get Spaz. Then Gork can get a mouthful. That boy has been bad.
*For your information Gork is Timmy. He is called Gork because that is the sound he makes when he sleeps. We haven't seen Timmy in a while you know that? Hmmm. . . I wonder where he is?*
TIMMY. . . .
Timmy: Rubber Duckie. . . you're the one!
You make bath time so much fun!
Rubber Duckie I am awfully fond of you!
*Timmy is bathing in his bathroom in the opposite corner of his room as Spaz. But enough of that. How are our fearless leaders going?*
SPECS AND DUTCHY. . .
Dutchy: I think I can escape. . . .Specs!
Specs: Then go for. . . it Dutchy!
*Dutchy runs off and he keeps running away till the dance class is out of sight. He continues to run until he hits something that immediately falls to the ground when he hits it.*
Kennyon: Owe! Dutchy that really. . . .Dutchy?
Dutchy: Kennyon!? Kennyon! Boy am I glad to see you. How did you get out?
Kennyon: Dutchy I am the author. I can do whatever I want.
Dutchy: Like what?
Kennyon: Well if I really wanted, you would be my newsie and not Spaz's. But I don't like you that way, and I love Spaz too much to do that to her. And I love Specs. He's been my muse for nearly two years now.
Dutchy: Well that doesn't help. Show me something here and now proving that you are the all powerful author you say you are.
Kennyon: Hmm. . . .like what?
Dutchy: I could really go for a grilled cheese sandwich. OH and if it was one that Skittery made that would be great.
Kennyon: Skittery makes the best grilled cheese sandwiches, doesn't he. All thanks to Spaz. I'm glad I loaned her Skittery.
Dutchy: What about my sandwich?
Kennyon: Rrrr. . . .greedy aren't we? Ok, SKITTERY!
*Skittery suddenly appears out of nowhere with a grilled cheese sandwich.*
Skittery: What am I doing here? Oh here you go Dutchy. I made this for you.
Kennyon: Thanks Skitts, see ya later!
*Skittery disappears and Dutchy begins to munch on his sandwich.*
Dutchy: This is good. Ok I believe you Kennyon. But why didn't you bring Spaz with you?
Kennyon: Because you have to go rescue her. She's back that way. The gnomes have all left their posts so you can just get her out. So go now!
*Kennyon pushes Dutchy off who just finished his sandwich. Kennyon heads off towards the evil dance class.*
DUTCHY. . .
*He is running and he can see the cage. He darts towards it where Spaz is waiting impatiently*
Dutchy: Spaz!
*She looks up and see's him coming. She gets excited and waits for him to get to the cage.*
Spaz: Dutchy! Yay! Kennyon left me stranded alone but you found me!
Dutchy: Actually Kennyon was the one who pushed me to get here for you.
Spaz: Really? Wow, I'm proud of that girl. Well get me out of here and lets go find her. We still have a present to give Katie.
Dutchy: I know. Kennyon has been planning this forever.
Spaz: Well lets go before those gnomes get back.
*Spaz and Dutchy work on the lock and get Spaz out. They begin to run to where Specs was. *
SPECS. . .
Les: and you jump now hold your knee and hop hop hop! Good. I'm proud. Now wave your arms all around.
Specs: *thinking* I can' t make it much longer. But Les hasn't taken his eyes off of me all night. I must save Kennyon though. She is my world.
Kennyon: Psssttt. . .
Specs: *looking where that came from.* Kennyon! How'd you get. . .
Kennyon: I already explained to Dutchy. I'm the author. I can do whatever the fudge monkies I want. Now, you can leave the dance class. I'm going to deal with Les.
*Specs stops dancing and begins to walk off.*
Kennyon: And Specs, you're my world too.
*Specs smiles before running out of sight of Kennyon. But he can still see her. He wants to see her yell at Les.*
Les: HEY SPECS YOU CAN'T LEAVE. . . .UH OH!
*Les tries to run off but is stopped by Kennyon who has grabbed his shoulder. The gnomes all disappear into the unknowns of Timmy's room*
Kennyon: Alright you little brat. What is the meaning of this dance class? You know I told you not to make one of these!
Les: Owe. . . .Let go your hurting me!
Kennyon: Oh, I am not. You are such a little brat. Now sit down.
*Kennyon sits Les down on the ground then still holding his shoulders, she sits down next to him.*
Kennyon: Now why did you form it?
Les: Because I didn't think you would catch me in here.
Kennyon: Oh yeah. . . yeah. . . your starting to sound like
David. A walking mouth. Only you don't got a brain. Did you know, that if you were your real age,
according to when newsies was made you would be 23?
Les: So. . .
Kennyon: So I think you need some growing up. I'm sending you to the magical growing up boot camp of the tired Authors of Newsies.
Les: What you can't do that!
Kennyon: I can and I will. So when I count to 6 and ¾ you will go to the magical growing up boot camp of the tired authors of newsies, so I don't have to type about your character for a while and I can rid my set of your evil dancing. When you come back you will be 23, the same age as the real Luke Edwards. Just so your grown up. Then when you come back. I don't know when, you can help with the sets.
Les: NOOOOOOOOO. . . .I don't want to grow up!
Kennyon: 1. . . .2. . . .3. . . .4. . . 5. . . 6. . . 6.45. . . 6.59. . . 6.63. . . 6.68. . . 6.75!
PING!
*Les disappears and Kennyon stands. She heads over to where Specs is and she links arms with him*
Specs: Why'd you do that?
Kennyon: An author can only handle so many characters when she's sick.
Specs: Your sick?
Kennyon: Yeah you remember that hike I went on?
Specs: yes. I did announce it.
Kennyon: Well I stupidly went up with stomach flu, then ate some bad chicken and now I'm really sick. Well the me that's typing is, but its leaking into me and I can't keep any food down.
Specs: Oh Kennyon! I' m so sorry! As soon as we get out of here and you yell at Timmy and we give Katie her surprise you will get all star treatment from the newsies. We will send all the girls to get you medicine and stuff like that and all your boys will be your doctors.
Kennyon: Oh thank you Specs. You are the best!
Specs: Um. . . I really don't want to walk through this mess again. Can you. . .
Kennyon: Sure, and I'll get Dutchy and Spaz too.
*The four people are suddenly at the door to Timmy's room and walking out to the main stage. All of the newsies rush forward towards Kennyon and help her sit. Spaz and Katie sit next to her asking if she is alright.*
Kennyon: I'll be fine for a while. I need Timmy. I am going to yell his pea sized brain out.
*Timmy comes walking out carrying his rubber duckie, wearing a bathrobe and holding a towel.*
Kennyon: Timmy get over here.
Timmy: It's not Timmy. I prefer Gork.Kennyon: I don't care if you prefer Oompa Loompa. Get over here!
*Timmy walks over to Kennyon and stands in front of her.*
Timmy: Yeah?
Kennyon: I want you to clean that room right away, and return all of those vile Green Garden Gnomes to the place you got them before they make more buttons. And if your room isn't clean by the time Les gets back, I am firing you from my show.
Timmy: You wouldn't dare!
Kennyon: Oh do not push me right now. Now go you over sized G.I. Joe victim.
Timmy: Fine! I'm going.
*Timmy Saunders off towards his room and out of sight.*
Kennyon: Now for Katies Surprise.
Katie: Yay surprises for me. What is it?
Kennyon: Well, all the boys thought that you should get something special so we made you this.
*Kennyon holds up a big box that reads "Your Very Own Newsie Kit"*
Kennyon: Inside here, is a life size replica of every newsie, cept of course Bumlets who you already have, the DVD, the soundtrack and I should mention that every newsie is fully possible and they will answer to your bidding. They would be happy to be your muses, your footstools and your personal masseuses. I hope you like your present.
Katie: Oh I do! Thank you!
Kennyon: Now I need some sleep. . . I don't feel very good.
Specs: Alright. . . I need all the newsies in lab coats, a huge bed, Dutchy you handle that, I need the ladies to get medicine, and the only girls aloud to stay at this moment (for the sake of typing) are Spaz and Katie. Boys get ready. Our girl Kennyon needs us!
Kennyon: Thanks boys. . .
*Dutchy rolls in the king size bed laden with pillows just in time for Kennyon to fall on it. She falls asleep and all the newsies get ready to play doctor. Katie and Spaz grab all their equipment. They will lead the expedition to make Kennyon better.*
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Sorry all for the kind of short chapter. The fact is I really am sick. Just ask Katie. As I was typing this I threw up maybe four or five times and water is just shooting through me. So the next chapter will be about my hurtful aches. And my maladies and we are going to see if the newsies can cure me. And Spaz I am disappointed in you about the review thing. But if I get "Get well soon" reviews from all of you I will forgive you. Oh you know what would also make my day. . . if you addressed an anonymous "get well soon" review from your newsie or a different newsie I would love you forever. I love you Katie! Happy Birthday. I wish I really could give you that present. Tanks muches. I love you lots. And if anything sounds delusional in this chapter. . . you know why. Love you all.
~Kennyon