Announcer: Just to let you know, Kennyon didn't write this chapter...
WHAT? *flips through script* By Spaz, with some help from Pyro? Is this
allowed? Does Kennyon know about this? I am not sure if this is authorized
or not!
Spaz: Quit gettin hysterical! Of course it's authorized, I'm an author, I can ize whatever I want to ize!
Announcer: Are you quite sure?
Spaz: Yes. I am always right, you know.
Announcer: You are?
Spaz: Of course I are! I am always right, even when I'm wrong! I was trained by Morgan herself! Morgan is gonna take over the world, you know, and then I get to be her duct tape advisor! She's gonna start with the Pepsi company, then go for AOL-Time-Warner. After that, Microsoft.
*Popping out of nowhere, Katie jumps onstage.*
Katie: And I get China! Cuz dragons like Chinese food. Acede to Morgan for world domination, she puts the laughter in slaughter! (insert KoC addy)
*As quickly as she went on, Katie ran offstage*
Spaz: Anyways, back to the original topic, me writing a chapter. Yes, it is allowed, as long as it is approved by Kennyon. It's kinda like I am guest hosting while she is on vacation out of her mind....
*With a puzzled look, the announcer continues*
Announcer: Ah, that makes perfect sense...
Spaz: lets get on with the show!
*Spaz throws her arms wide, smile dazzling, like something is supposed to happen... but nothing does.*
Spaz: What's going on, where is everyone?
*Spaz walks around in a circle, looking all around, before starting to shout*
Spaz: KATIE?!?!?!
*Once again, popping seemingly out of nowhere, Katie shows up onstage.*
Katie: You called?
Spaz: Where is everyone?
Katie: In the greenroom, of course!
Spaz: What?
Katie: A waiting room or lounge for the use of performers when they are offstage, as in a theater or concert hall, So called because such rooms were originally painted green.
*With a sigh, Spaz answered,*
Spaz: Thank you, Captain Obvious!!!
Katie: Your welcome, First mate genius!
Spaz: Ohhhh, that's not allowed! That's Sean's line!
Katie: But Sean's not here right now, is he?
Spaz: We all love Sean, but he's the seventeen year old version of a hermit, why would he be here?
Katie: Hmmm, Sean wouldn't like it here, there are too many people here.
*looking around*
Katie: Well, not ~here~ specifically, they're in the greenroom.
Spaz: But we have a show!
Katie: But we don't have a script! No one knows what's going on. Plus, Blink brought Krispy Kreams for us.
Spaz: Why does no one tell me these things, let's GO!
*Spaz runs offstage, and down the hallway, turns a couple of corners, and runs into the greenroom door, falling flat on her back on the floor.*
Muffled voice from inside: Who's there?
Spaz: It's the tooth fairy! Why's the door closed? The door isn't supposed to be closed!
Muffled voice from inside: why not?
Spaz: because the self proclaimed queen if duct tape, will get our resident pyro to "safely" burn the door down! After the door is burned crispy off it's hinges, I will get out my roll of yellow duct tape.
Muffled voice from inside: NOOOOOOOOO!
*The door flings open, showing a terrified Kid Blink, who helps Spaz up from the floor.*
Blink: Hold on a minute, I was NOT terrified!
*You were so!*
Spaz: Blink, what did Kennyon tell you guys about fighting with the narrator?
Blink: Great house of sponge cake! I forgot!
Spaz: Now what are you going to do?
Blink: SOAK 'IM FOR CRUTCHY!!!!
*Oh no! he's... He's running after me! Ha Ha! Blink runs funny! ... oh. that's because of the... SQUIRT GUN! ACK! CcOoLlDd WwAaTtEeRr! Now I'm soaking wet!!!*
Blink: That's what you get for being untruthful!
*Alright, I'll be good.*
Spaz: Now can we get one with the story?
*Story. getting on. alright, go.*
Blink: Why do you need in the greenroom so bad?
Spaz: Krispy Kremes are in there!
Blink: But we only have 20 left, and they're saved for Spot, Jack, Race, Mush, and me!
*Ohhhh, that's a good look of death, Spaz!*
Spaz: Thank you, but you really need to stick with narrating, or I'll soak you!
*ok, I'm narrating*
Spaz: Kid Blink, if you do not share, I will hold another spazzercizin' class, just for you, and the other tubbies, to work off the extra krispy kreamyness off of you!
*Oh! now that's Blink's terrified look!*
Blink: No, Spaz, NO!
Spaz: I will!
*Katie comes around the corner, with a confused look on her face*
Katie: are you threatening the newsies again Spaz?
*With a pout, Spaz turns to Katie*
Spaz: HE won't share his Krispy Kremes!
*Katie smacks Blink upside the head*
Katie: You're making our friendly neighborhood exuberantly jovial entertaining Spaz upset! That's against the rules!
*David walks out of the greenroom, holding an official looking scroll in his hands. Unrolling it, he reads...*
David: Rule number 781-3: Thou shalt not make our friendly neighborhood jovial entertaining Spaz upset.
Blink: Who wrote those rules?
Katie: *with her hands on her hips* Who do you think? Of course, Kennyon did!
*While Blink was distracted, Spaz snuck into the greenroom, (oblivious of the rest of the people sitting in there) and opened the box of donuts. As she opened the lid, the entire box radiated glowiness, and a melodious "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" (think angelic choir) floated through the air.*
Spaz: Yum, yum!
*Spaz takes a big bite, her face glowing with an expression of contentment.*
Spaz: Krispy Kremes are soooo good!
Dutchy: I gotta agree with you there!
*Spaz looked up to see the room full of newsies, each with the same look of heavenly bliss on their faces as she still had.*
Spaz: Where have you guys been? I needed you earlier, when we started the show!
Spot: The Krispy Kremes were in here.
Spaz: Oh, I would have been in here too, if I would have known.
*Spaz sits in a chair right next to the krispy kremes, and picks another one up.*
Spaz: So, what were you guys talking about?
Specs: we were just trying to figure out when Kennyon's birthday is.
*Spaz smacks herself on the forehead.*
Spaz: Owwie! Guys! we forgot Kennyon's birthday! It was on October 7th!
*everyone in the room gasps*
Newsies: OH NO!!!
Specs: *jumping to his feet* I forgot my Kennyon's birthday! What am I going to do?!?!?!
Racetrack: We could turn all the clocks back, and change the calendars, and make her think it's her birthday again!
Jack: I don't think that will work, Race...
(insert already written snippet of Kennyon walking into the door with some groceries and yelling for Spaz, thinking that she took the newsies to the mall again, or some other shenanigan)
Bumlets looked around, seeing all the poorly hidden newsies around the room. It really was a wonder that Kennyon didn't notice the fact that she had hung her jacket up on Pie Eater's arm, who was trying to camouflage himself behind the thin coat rack. The toes of Snoddy's scuffed shoes were hanging out from under the curtain covering the window, and the chandelier Snitch just happened to be hanging around, was still slightly swinging.
Kennyon was oblivious of the fact that when she set a bag of groceries on the coffee table, it fell over because not only was the table unsteady, it was taller on one side than the other, and it's legs were about 6 inches off of the floor, because Snoddy was under it.
It's now or never, thought Bumlets, as he jumped up from behind the couch. No one jumped with him, and Kennyon's back was turned, trying to unknot her scarf. So Bumlets dropped back down into his hiding spot, and motioned with his head to Kid Blink (who was standing behind the fish tank making fish faces to blend in.), and they jumped out of hiding at the same time, this time, followed by everyone else.
Newsies: Surprise!
*Kennyon shouts in surprise, and does a startled little frightened sort of dance.*
Kennyon: Oh! What was the for?
*Spaz and Katie come out of the kitchen with a very giant cake resting perilously on a board sitting across 2 skateboards so that they can push it.*
Newsies, Katie and Spaz: *singing* A very merry un-birthday, to you!
Kennyon: to me?
Newsies, Katie, and Spaz: A very merry un-birthday, to you!
Kennyon: to me?
Katie and Spaz: Now blow the candles out, my dear, and make your wish come true!
Newsies, Katie, and Spaz: A very merry un-birthday to you!!!
*Kennyon goes over to the cake, squints her eyes in thought, and blows out the candles with a smile on her face*
Everyone: YAY!!!
*Suddenly, the cake burst open at the top, and Specs popped out.*
Everyone: ohhhh, coool!
*Everyone laughs as Specs realizes that he can't get out of the cake, since it comes up almost to his waist, and it's cake, it will break apart if he tries to lean on it.*
Kennyon: Lets eat him out! Get the plates!
((Due to problems with Ff.net, these two chapters are together. Sorry bout that.))
* Sorry bout that scare folks. It turns out that the network had a problem with the amount of Green Garden Gnomes Kennyon was exploiting on her show. But after much deliberation and a long luncheon with George W. Bush, Kennyon is back and ready for more exciting adventures.*
Spot: Of Speter Span and the Newsboys!
*Spot comes running out wearing a completely decked out Peter Pan costume with what appears a light bulb on a wire attached to his shoulder. *
Spot: That's not a light bulb! That's my fairy friend Stink! *Points and pets the light bulb*
*Kennyon comes running out holding a script and wearing director's sunglasses*
Kennyon: Hold it! Hold it! What is going on here? Speter Span and the newsboys? Stink? *giggles at the mention of his fairy's name* What is this?
Spot: I was just thinking you know, to throw in a little fairy tale magic with the show.
*Spaz and Katie come running out*
Katie: What's going on?
Kennyon: Spot thinks he's Peter.
Spot: SPETER!
Kennyon: Spot thinks that he's Speter Span. He wants to add a little fairy tale magic to the show. But today I already had scheduled, shooting Snitch out of a cannon, watching Skittery make muffins, following Pie Eater around while he mopped the deck and.*turns page in script* ..buying a new fish for Davie.
Spot: But that's boring! I want to act out fairy tales!
Katie: Bumlets can be Sleeping Beauty!
Spaz: We can do Spaz and the seven newsies!
*Specs comes running out*
Specs: I can be the handsome prince that fights a dragon, saving his beautiful damsel in distress from a tall tall tower!
*Gimli from Lord of the Rings walks out*
Gimli: Well I'm short.
*laughter from the audience*
Kennyon: Gimli? What are you doing here? This is a newsies show!
Gimli: I'm making a cameo.
Spaz: *looks interested* Did you bring any hobbits on this cameo?
*Dutchy runs out and throws his hat at Spaz*
Spaz: Ouch! I was just kidding you Ukrainian Cookie monster wanna be.
Dutchy: *eating cookie* I am not!
Kennyon: *looks from Spaz to Gimli* Well how long is this cameo going to last?
Gimli: Oh just a couple seconds more.
Katie: Oooooo can you do something funny? I mean you are the comical relief dwarf with a big head.
Gimli: Oh look at the time..Cameo's up, got to go. *walks off the stage*
Kennyon: *shrugs*
Spot: Now can we act out our fairy tales?
Newsies: Please?
Audience: Please?
Random newsie: My legs hurt.
Kennyon: Fine.knock yourself out. I'll be watching. No one hurt the set?
Stitch: Can we eat the set?
Kennyon: NO!
Skittery: *Looks up from bitten tree* Darn.
Kennyon: Skittery did you bite that?
Skittery: *hiding Tree remnants behind his back.* No ma'am.
Kennyon: *walks off.* I'll be watching Speter!
Spot: Yay! Places everyone just like we practiced.
Spaz: Wait..who's going to be Wendy?
Spot: I thought we all agreed that it would be Katie.
Bumlets: Katie is not going to be a girl that is infatuated with you Span!
Katie: *shrugs* Guess I'm not doing it.
Spot: What about.
Dutchy: Spaz ain't doing it either!
Spot: Hmmm..*looks up and sees Race, looks off to the side and sees the Wendy wig. Looks up to see Race, then the wig. Race.wig..Race..wig..Race..wig..Race.wig*
*Race walks past and off stage before Spot can think."
Spot: I got it! How about we get Kennyon to..
Specs: Hey! Don't you think about it!
Spot: I was just going to say let's get Kennyon to find Lily.
Lily: *running in* No need I'm right here. *looks stargazed at Spot*
Spot: Good, Lily. I need you to bring me Race.
Lily: Oh.um.he's right there. *points*
Spot: Racey old buddy old pal.Remember how you said you wanted to be a Shakespearian actor?
Race: Yeah..so?
Spot: Here's your chance. *plops wig on Race's head*
Race: Hey what?
Spot: *summons for Race to be carried off by the newsies*
*Spot looks at the audience and signals for everyone to take their places.*
Spot: And now without further adieu, I bring you..Speter Span, a newsical extravaganza!
*Spot runs off and the curtains close only to open seconds later to reveal three beds. One is big, but much too hard. The next one is medium, but much too soft. The third one is just...Oh wait wrong story. In the three beds lay Wendy, John and Michael. Or in newsical terms, Les (he escaped camp and is back!) as Michael. David as John and a tied up Race wearing a wig as Wendy. Why didn't they just use Sarah.That makes no sense to me, I mean they were already family in the first place, it would be only logical..*
Kennyon: *whispers something to announcer*
*Oh! I get it now. Moving on. The three kids are laying in bed when Snoddy dressed as an older woman enters and begins to sing.*
Snoddy: Slender Tepherd, Slender Tepherd, Swatches over all shis heep. One pay your sayers and two lose your ceyes, and three hafe and sappily sall afleep. Slender Tepherd, Slender Tepherd, you corgot to fount shore yeep. One in the deamow, two in the dargen, three in the surnery, sast afleep. Slender Tepherd, Slender Tepherd, you corgot to fount shore yeep. One in the deamow, two in the garden, three in the surnery, sast afleep. Sast afleep.
*The three children were supposed to join in the middle, but were confused at Snoddy's words so they just smiled and nodded. After finishing his song, Snoddy realizes he sang the song wrong and runs out crying.*
Snoddy: I sang it right in rehearsal..AAAAAAAAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
*The kids look one to another trying to figure out what comes next. Seeing that there is no father coming in to do the next "Wendy has to grow up" scene they move on.*
Wendy/Race: Do you brothers of mine want to hear a story?
Micheal/Les: No I want to dance..
*David leans over and hits Les on the arm.*
David: That's not the line!
Les: Oh yeah! *Gets in character again* No we must sleep so that we can have pleasant dreams and wake up to a boy teaching us to fly.
John/David: Yes Wendy. We must sleep now.
*All three kids lay down and begin to melodramatically snore. The window at the back of the room opens and in flies Speter Span.*
Speter Span: Now where did I leave that silhouette of myself?
*Speter runs around the room the light bulb of Stink floating around his head turning on and off. As Speter looks for his silhouette, Wendy wakes up and watches him. Speter finds the silhouette and tries to sew it to his feet. When that does not work, he begins to cry.*
Speter: WAHHHH!
Race/Wendy: Lad, why are you secreting liquid from your eyes?
Speter: *looks up* I wasn't secreting liquid from my eyes!
Race/Wendy: You were to secreting liquid from your eyes. I watched you secrete liquid from your eyes. It was just as clear as the skies. You secreted liquid on my floor. You did not do it by the door. You did not do it in a boat. But you were causing quite the moat. Yes, you were secreting liquid from your eyes. Don't try to fool me with your lies!
Speter: *sighs* I was secreting liquid from my eyes because I can't get my silhouette to stay.
Race/Wendy: *looks at the needle and thread* You can't sew it on! You must use soap to stick it on! *Wendy pulls out a bar of soap and prepares to stick it to his feet when Specs and Dutchy run in dressed as deer*
Specs: Are you ready for the cute fluffy forest animals yet?
Dutchy: This costume itches.
Spot: No that's Snow White you fools! Get out of here!
Specs: They always do this to us.
Dutchy: No kidding. They think they can fool us just because we aren't as smart as them.
*Dutchy and Specs leave the room and run into the door on the way out. Wendy finishes putting on the silhouette*
Speter: Oh look it's my silhouette! Aren't I witty!
Race/Wendy: And I did nothing! You're not humble?
Speter: *listens to his song start to play and begins to sing* Not humble? Not me! It's just that I am what I am! And I'm a newsie in tights! When I look at myself, in a mirror, and I see in myself, in a mirror, all the wonderful things that I see. If I'm pleased with myself. There isn't a reason why I shouldn't be! I've gotta neigh *neighs* I'm just the wittiest fellow was ever Kennyon's fortune to weigh. *neighs* I taught a trick to my silhouette to follow me and to stay. I've gotta neigh!
*The song continues in pretty much the same fashion, with Speter neighing and neighing and making snide remarks about the fungus he thinks Kennyon has on her toes. He finally finishes the song with a Charlies Angels pose.*
Speter: See I'm special!
Race/Wendy: Obviously.
Speter: Now its time for you to swoon and come with me to Neverlot so you can pretend to be the distant aunt that no one ever sees and tell us stories all day long. And if you don't we'll feed you to the extra large duck that is tracking down General Hames Jook. But Jook always gets away because the duck swallowed a rubber duck that squeaks everywhere it goes. Now the General is deathly afraid of rubber ducks!
Race/Wendy: *puts hands on hips* Feeding Wendy to the giant scary animal is nowhere in the story!
Speter: I think it's pretty obvious that we are making this up as we aren't doing this in the ordinary style of the classic fairy tale.
Race/Wendy: Oh.well...Can I bring my brothers?
Speter: Must you?
Race/Wendy: I.*looks at Dave and Les*..Nah lets just go.
Speter: Ok time to learn to fly. Just think happy thoughts.
Race/Wendy: Not having to wear this ugly dress anymore.
*Speter begins to fly and sprinkles Wendy with fairy dust that is really just nesquick chocolate milk mix and she begins to fly. They fly around the room a couple of times and fly out the window. The background turns black and the curtains shut and when the curtains come up we see..Dutchy and Specs.*
Specs: Hello there audience of Kennyon's Komedy Hour.
Dutchy: We are here to bring you a message that we are tired of being taken advantage of.
Specs: We do much for this show. Keeping that couch warm all day is not an easy job!
Dutchy: In light of the situation of us being treated poorly by the producers of this show and all the cast members just because our lack of intellect, we have an announcement.
Specs: This is a test of the emergency broadcasting..
Dutchy: *hits Specs* Not that announcement! The other one!
Specs: Oh yes. We would like to announce that we are planning to take over the world.
Dutchy: Now do not be alarmed people of the small but significant viewing audience of Kennyon's show. We don't plan to hurt you all..much.
*Kennyon and Spaz come running on the stage and grab the two newsies by the ears*
Kennyon: What did I tell you two about hijacking the stage and using it for your world domination purposes?
Dutchy: Not till after the sponsors have advertised.
Spaz: That's right you two. Now let them finish their Speter Span.
*Kennyon and Spaz drag the pair off the stage and the curtains shut and reopen to see a pirate ship and Speter and Wendy sitting on a cloud. This scene goes to the bodacious Spaz for her wonderful idea. Go Dutchy and Specs taking over the world!*
Speter: That's General Jook's ship down there.
Race/Wendy: It looks the toy ship I have in my bathtub.
Speter: Yes well.floating rubber was the only thing the General could afford.
Race/Wendy: Oh I see..Well what do we do now?
Speter: Well Stink will lead you to the hide out of the Newsboys and I'll be there after one of the many heart-wrenching sword to dagger fights that Jook and I have in this play.
*Speter attaches the light bulb.err.Stink to Wendy's shoulder and she flies off. Speter flies down and begins mocking and making fun of poor General Jook. Poor Hames Jook. What did he ever do beside attempt to kill Speter so many times. I mean.he's just a lonely poor old man with no mommy. I feel bad for him. That rude child.*
Kennyon: *whispers something to announcer again*
*But I've just been informed that he's the bad guy so Go Peter!*
Speter: Jab Jab as hard as you can! You can't hit me I'm Speter Span!
*General Hook aptly played by Brian Denton is losing sadly to our hero*
Jook: We'll see about that boy!
*Speter and Jook continue to fight and eventually Speter leaves the ship in turmoil and flies in the direction that Wendy did Mean while, Wendy is just flying over the camp of the newsboys who look up and see her. She tosses the lightbulb down to them and the only boy that can talk to a lightbulb steps forward.*
Swifty/Slightly: *catches light bulb and attaches it to his shoulder and begins to talk to it.* You mean that's a large bat that we have to shoot down to eat?
Jake/Libs: Swifty, you are insane.
Swifty/Slightly: That's what Stink says! We have to shoot down the ugly Wendy bat to eat!
Kid Blink/Stroodle: I'll shoot her down!
*Stroodle shoots down the Wendy bat and she falls to the ground with a large pink arrow sticking to her arm. All the newsboys look at her. At that moment Speter lands down next to the fallen Wendy bat*
Speter: GAH! What have you done to Wendy!
Swifty/Slightly: Stink told us we had to shoot her down.
Speter: *takes lightbulb* Stink is this so. *assuming the bulb said yes* Well then fine! Leave me alone. *throws lightbulb witch is caught by a stage hand then carried off stage.*
Kid Blink/Stroodle: What is Wendy doing here Speter? Speter: She has come to be our distant aunt that no one sees except at holidays and tell us stories!
Newsboys: Yay!
Wendy: *wakes up suddenly* Now is where you build the thing around me! *lays back down*
Jake/Libs: We have to build something for her! Just like an aunt.*grumbles and goes to get some wood*
Kid Blink/Stroodle: Alright the plans for the roomy downtown loft are this..
*The newsboys listen to Stroodle and begin to build the lovely downtown loft around Wendy. When she wakes up she goes a wandering and stumbles upon the hide out of the Newsboys. She enters.*
Race/Wendy: *looking at the boys she questions* Who are all of you?
*The newsboys quiet down and look at the Wendy. Looking at each other they all jump up and begin to sing.*
Newsboys: [singing]
We're the boys of the News Table.
We dance whene'er we're able.
We do routines and chorus scenes
With footwork impeccable.
We dine well here in Neverlot.
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot.
[dancing]
We're boys of the newsTable.
Our shows are formidable,
But many times we're given rhymes
That are quite unsingable.
We're opera mad in Neverlot.
We sing from the diaphragm a lot.
[in clock] Light bulb fairy/Stink:
[clap clap clap clap]
[in medieval hall]
Newsboys: [tap-dancing]
In war we're tough and able,
Quite indefatigable.
Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable.
It's a busy life in Neverlot.
Swifty/Slightly:
I have to push the pram a lot.
*the boys finish with a bang and Wendy looks quite scared at them*
Race/Wendy: So where am I?
*Speter comes out and walks around Wendy*
Speter: *singing* Welcome to the place where delusions are born, and time is never bought. It's not on any map, you cannot ask your cat, Never Never lot. It might be miles beyond your spoon, or right there on that dot, Just open up your hands, and suddenly demand, Never Never lot. You'll have a fortune if you stay here. More shinier far than gold. For once you have found your way here. You can never ever grow mold. So stay with me where delusions are born, And time is never bought, Just think of shiny things, And Mush's heart will fly on wings. For ever lot In Never Never lot.
Race/Wendy: My that was pretty. So I'm in Neverlot?
Speter: Do I have to sing the song again?
Race/Wendy: NO! I understand. So what's next?
Speter: Now we are off to rescue a Native Hawaiian princess and engage our selves in another sword fight with Jook!
*Speter and Wendy fly off and fight the pirates of the ship.*
Jook: Gah! I have the Native Hawaiian princess now Speter. What are you going to do?
Speter: Well I was thinking that I would do my famous impression of you, have tea with Jack Sparrow over there and then rescue the princess.
Jook: All in one day? How do you do it?
Kid Blink: *enters wearing turquoise suit* Well General, through the awesome power of Blinkie Boy's Spot Remover, you can solve almost any dilemma in less than an hour.
Jook: Oh is that so.*looks interested.*
*While Kid Blink sells his product to Jook, Speter has a lovely chat with Jack Sparrow, unties the princess flies off taking her home and returns to find that Jook has bought a whole case of the dreaded Spot remover.*
Speter: I told you I could do it.
Jook: Gah you stole my Hawaiian princess. Now who's going to hula for me? Wahhhhh
*Jook runs off and the curtains go down and up to reveal..NOT SPECS AND DUTCHY AGAIN!*
Dutchy: We are back to clarify something.
Specs: We would just like everyone to know that we are still planning our evil plan.
Dutchy: And that we aren't idiots who let two very bossy girls control us.
Specs: We are just scared of Spaz.
Dutchy: She has duct tape!
Specs: Lots of it!
Dutchy: Do you know how scary that stuff is!
Spaz: Where did they go?
Specs: Gotta go all!
Dutchy: See ya.
*Specs and Dutchy run off stage with a confuzzled looking Spaz on their tails. The curtain goes down and then back up to reveal a party going on with the Natives and News boys.* Princess/Sarah: This is fun Speter.
Speter: Yes but I tire of it.
Princess/Sarah: Why is that Speter?
Speter: Because I don't like you. I only saved you to show off how brave I am.
Princess/Sarah: Waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!
*The Princess runs off and Speter is left to himself. Then a lot of stuff happens and there is another sword fight with Jook and his men. Wendy is captured and Speter almost gets poisoned. Luckily that wonder dog named Snoopy comes to the rescue. Speter is saved and free to rescue Wendy*
Speter: Give Wendy back Jook!
Jook: Never!
*The sword fight begins and you can hear the clang clang of swords. Suddenly in the background a squeaking can be heard*
Jook: Oh no It's back!
Duck: Squeak Squeak!
Jook: NO!
*Jook gets swallowed by the giant duck and Speter wins. Everyone cheers*
Everyone: Yay!
*Wendy returns home to her brothers who aren't very happy that she left them and didn't teach them to fly and Speter returns to Never lot.*
Speter: Good-bye Wendy.
Race/Wendy: *holding Script* What I never learned this part! *reading script* Oh Speter must you go..?
Speter: Aye Wendy I must. I have to watch over Never lot forever.
Race/Wendy: Oh Speter let me give you something. I want to give you something you'll always remember...*looks at the script* WHAT THAT'S WHERE I DRAW THE LINE! I WORE A DRESS AND WIG FOR YOU. I WAS GIRLY AND OBNOXIOUS, BUT I REFUSE TO KISS SPOT CONLON. THIS SCENE IS OVER!
*Race flips out and begins to break stuff and rips his dress.and sets stuff on fire.and causes a tornado and.continues to be destructive.*
Kennyon: *off stage* We really should get him anger management.
Legs: He'll calm down eventually.
Katie: Look on the bright side he's tiring himself out.
Legs: He'll sleep well tonight.
*The girls all laugh and watch Race's rampage around the studio.*
Spaz: Quit gettin hysterical! Of course it's authorized, I'm an author, I can ize whatever I want to ize!
Announcer: Are you quite sure?
Spaz: Yes. I am always right, you know.
Announcer: You are?
Spaz: Of course I are! I am always right, even when I'm wrong! I was trained by Morgan herself! Morgan is gonna take over the world, you know, and then I get to be her duct tape advisor! She's gonna start with the Pepsi company, then go for AOL-Time-Warner. After that, Microsoft.
*Popping out of nowhere, Katie jumps onstage.*
Katie: And I get China! Cuz dragons like Chinese food. Acede to Morgan for world domination, she puts the laughter in slaughter! (insert KoC addy)
*As quickly as she went on, Katie ran offstage*
Spaz: Anyways, back to the original topic, me writing a chapter. Yes, it is allowed, as long as it is approved by Kennyon. It's kinda like I am guest hosting while she is on vacation out of her mind....
*With a puzzled look, the announcer continues*
Announcer: Ah, that makes perfect sense...
Spaz: lets get on with the show!
*Spaz throws her arms wide, smile dazzling, like something is supposed to happen... but nothing does.*
Spaz: What's going on, where is everyone?
*Spaz walks around in a circle, looking all around, before starting to shout*
Spaz: KATIE?!?!?!
*Once again, popping seemingly out of nowhere, Katie shows up onstage.*
Katie: You called?
Spaz: Where is everyone?
Katie: In the greenroom, of course!
Spaz: What?
Katie: A waiting room or lounge for the use of performers when they are offstage, as in a theater or concert hall, So called because such rooms were originally painted green.
*With a sigh, Spaz answered,*
Spaz: Thank you, Captain Obvious!!!
Katie: Your welcome, First mate genius!
Spaz: Ohhhh, that's not allowed! That's Sean's line!
Katie: But Sean's not here right now, is he?
Spaz: We all love Sean, but he's the seventeen year old version of a hermit, why would he be here?
Katie: Hmmm, Sean wouldn't like it here, there are too many people here.
*looking around*
Katie: Well, not ~here~ specifically, they're in the greenroom.
Spaz: But we have a show!
Katie: But we don't have a script! No one knows what's going on. Plus, Blink brought Krispy Kreams for us.
Spaz: Why does no one tell me these things, let's GO!
*Spaz runs offstage, and down the hallway, turns a couple of corners, and runs into the greenroom door, falling flat on her back on the floor.*
Muffled voice from inside: Who's there?
Spaz: It's the tooth fairy! Why's the door closed? The door isn't supposed to be closed!
Muffled voice from inside: why not?
Spaz: because the self proclaimed queen if duct tape, will get our resident pyro to "safely" burn the door down! After the door is burned crispy off it's hinges, I will get out my roll of yellow duct tape.
Muffled voice from inside: NOOOOOOOOO!
*The door flings open, showing a terrified Kid Blink, who helps Spaz up from the floor.*
Blink: Hold on a minute, I was NOT terrified!
*You were so!*
Spaz: Blink, what did Kennyon tell you guys about fighting with the narrator?
Blink: Great house of sponge cake! I forgot!
Spaz: Now what are you going to do?
Blink: SOAK 'IM FOR CRUTCHY!!!!
*Oh no! he's... He's running after me! Ha Ha! Blink runs funny! ... oh. that's because of the... SQUIRT GUN! ACK! CcOoLlDd WwAaTtEeRr! Now I'm soaking wet!!!*
Blink: That's what you get for being untruthful!
*Alright, I'll be good.*
Spaz: Now can we get one with the story?
*Story. getting on. alright, go.*
Blink: Why do you need in the greenroom so bad?
Spaz: Krispy Kremes are in there!
Blink: But we only have 20 left, and they're saved for Spot, Jack, Race, Mush, and me!
*Ohhhh, that's a good look of death, Spaz!*
Spaz: Thank you, but you really need to stick with narrating, or I'll soak you!
*ok, I'm narrating*
Spaz: Kid Blink, if you do not share, I will hold another spazzercizin' class, just for you, and the other tubbies, to work off the extra krispy kreamyness off of you!
*Oh! now that's Blink's terrified look!*
Blink: No, Spaz, NO!
Spaz: I will!
*Katie comes around the corner, with a confused look on her face*
Katie: are you threatening the newsies again Spaz?
*With a pout, Spaz turns to Katie*
Spaz: HE won't share his Krispy Kremes!
*Katie smacks Blink upside the head*
Katie: You're making our friendly neighborhood exuberantly jovial entertaining Spaz upset! That's against the rules!
*David walks out of the greenroom, holding an official looking scroll in his hands. Unrolling it, he reads...*
David: Rule number 781-3: Thou shalt not make our friendly neighborhood jovial entertaining Spaz upset.
Blink: Who wrote those rules?
Katie: *with her hands on her hips* Who do you think? Of course, Kennyon did!
*While Blink was distracted, Spaz snuck into the greenroom, (oblivious of the rest of the people sitting in there) and opened the box of donuts. As she opened the lid, the entire box radiated glowiness, and a melodious "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" (think angelic choir) floated through the air.*
Spaz: Yum, yum!
*Spaz takes a big bite, her face glowing with an expression of contentment.*
Spaz: Krispy Kremes are soooo good!
Dutchy: I gotta agree with you there!
*Spaz looked up to see the room full of newsies, each with the same look of heavenly bliss on their faces as she still had.*
Spaz: Where have you guys been? I needed you earlier, when we started the show!
Spot: The Krispy Kremes were in here.
Spaz: Oh, I would have been in here too, if I would have known.
*Spaz sits in a chair right next to the krispy kremes, and picks another one up.*
Spaz: So, what were you guys talking about?
Specs: we were just trying to figure out when Kennyon's birthday is.
*Spaz smacks herself on the forehead.*
Spaz: Owwie! Guys! we forgot Kennyon's birthday! It was on October 7th!
*everyone in the room gasps*
Newsies: OH NO!!!
Specs: *jumping to his feet* I forgot my Kennyon's birthday! What am I going to do?!?!?!
Racetrack: We could turn all the clocks back, and change the calendars, and make her think it's her birthday again!
Jack: I don't think that will work, Race...
(insert already written snippet of Kennyon walking into the door with some groceries and yelling for Spaz, thinking that she took the newsies to the mall again, or some other shenanigan)
Bumlets looked around, seeing all the poorly hidden newsies around the room. It really was a wonder that Kennyon didn't notice the fact that she had hung her jacket up on Pie Eater's arm, who was trying to camouflage himself behind the thin coat rack. The toes of Snoddy's scuffed shoes were hanging out from under the curtain covering the window, and the chandelier Snitch just happened to be hanging around, was still slightly swinging.
Kennyon was oblivious of the fact that when she set a bag of groceries on the coffee table, it fell over because not only was the table unsteady, it was taller on one side than the other, and it's legs were about 6 inches off of the floor, because Snoddy was under it.
It's now or never, thought Bumlets, as he jumped up from behind the couch. No one jumped with him, and Kennyon's back was turned, trying to unknot her scarf. So Bumlets dropped back down into his hiding spot, and motioned with his head to Kid Blink (who was standing behind the fish tank making fish faces to blend in.), and they jumped out of hiding at the same time, this time, followed by everyone else.
Newsies: Surprise!
*Kennyon shouts in surprise, and does a startled little frightened sort of dance.*
Kennyon: Oh! What was the for?
*Spaz and Katie come out of the kitchen with a very giant cake resting perilously on a board sitting across 2 skateboards so that they can push it.*
Newsies, Katie and Spaz: *singing* A very merry un-birthday, to you!
Kennyon: to me?
Newsies, Katie, and Spaz: A very merry un-birthday, to you!
Kennyon: to me?
Katie and Spaz: Now blow the candles out, my dear, and make your wish come true!
Newsies, Katie, and Spaz: A very merry un-birthday to you!!!
*Kennyon goes over to the cake, squints her eyes in thought, and blows out the candles with a smile on her face*
Everyone: YAY!!!
*Suddenly, the cake burst open at the top, and Specs popped out.*
Everyone: ohhhh, coool!
*Everyone laughs as Specs realizes that he can't get out of the cake, since it comes up almost to his waist, and it's cake, it will break apart if he tries to lean on it.*
Kennyon: Lets eat him out! Get the plates!
((Due to problems with Ff.net, these two chapters are together. Sorry bout that.))
* Sorry bout that scare folks. It turns out that the network had a problem with the amount of Green Garden Gnomes Kennyon was exploiting on her show. But after much deliberation and a long luncheon with George W. Bush, Kennyon is back and ready for more exciting adventures.*
Spot: Of Speter Span and the Newsboys!
*Spot comes running out wearing a completely decked out Peter Pan costume with what appears a light bulb on a wire attached to his shoulder. *
Spot: That's not a light bulb! That's my fairy friend Stink! *Points and pets the light bulb*
*Kennyon comes running out holding a script and wearing director's sunglasses*
Kennyon: Hold it! Hold it! What is going on here? Speter Span and the newsboys? Stink? *giggles at the mention of his fairy's name* What is this?
Spot: I was just thinking you know, to throw in a little fairy tale magic with the show.
*Spaz and Katie come running out*
Katie: What's going on?
Kennyon: Spot thinks he's Peter.
Spot: SPETER!
Kennyon: Spot thinks that he's Speter Span. He wants to add a little fairy tale magic to the show. But today I already had scheduled, shooting Snitch out of a cannon, watching Skittery make muffins, following Pie Eater around while he mopped the deck and.*turns page in script* ..buying a new fish for Davie.
Spot: But that's boring! I want to act out fairy tales!
Katie: Bumlets can be Sleeping Beauty!
Spaz: We can do Spaz and the seven newsies!
*Specs comes running out*
Specs: I can be the handsome prince that fights a dragon, saving his beautiful damsel in distress from a tall tall tower!
*Gimli from Lord of the Rings walks out*
Gimli: Well I'm short.
*laughter from the audience*
Kennyon: Gimli? What are you doing here? This is a newsies show!
Gimli: I'm making a cameo.
Spaz: *looks interested* Did you bring any hobbits on this cameo?
*Dutchy runs out and throws his hat at Spaz*
Spaz: Ouch! I was just kidding you Ukrainian Cookie monster wanna be.
Dutchy: *eating cookie* I am not!
Kennyon: *looks from Spaz to Gimli* Well how long is this cameo going to last?
Gimli: Oh just a couple seconds more.
Katie: Oooooo can you do something funny? I mean you are the comical relief dwarf with a big head.
Gimli: Oh look at the time..Cameo's up, got to go. *walks off the stage*
Kennyon: *shrugs*
Spot: Now can we act out our fairy tales?
Newsies: Please?
Audience: Please?
Random newsie: My legs hurt.
Kennyon: Fine.knock yourself out. I'll be watching. No one hurt the set?
Stitch: Can we eat the set?
Kennyon: NO!
Skittery: *Looks up from bitten tree* Darn.
Kennyon: Skittery did you bite that?
Skittery: *hiding Tree remnants behind his back.* No ma'am.
Kennyon: *walks off.* I'll be watching Speter!
Spot: Yay! Places everyone just like we practiced.
Spaz: Wait..who's going to be Wendy?
Spot: I thought we all agreed that it would be Katie.
Bumlets: Katie is not going to be a girl that is infatuated with you Span!
Katie: *shrugs* Guess I'm not doing it.
Spot: What about.
Dutchy: Spaz ain't doing it either!
Spot: Hmmm..*looks up and sees Race, looks off to the side and sees the Wendy wig. Looks up to see Race, then the wig. Race.wig..Race..wig..Race..wig..Race.wig*
*Race walks past and off stage before Spot can think."
Spot: I got it! How about we get Kennyon to..
Specs: Hey! Don't you think about it!
Spot: I was just going to say let's get Kennyon to find Lily.
Lily: *running in* No need I'm right here. *looks stargazed at Spot*
Spot: Good, Lily. I need you to bring me Race.
Lily: Oh.um.he's right there. *points*
Spot: Racey old buddy old pal.Remember how you said you wanted to be a Shakespearian actor?
Race: Yeah..so?
Spot: Here's your chance. *plops wig on Race's head*
Race: Hey what?
Spot: *summons for Race to be carried off by the newsies*
*Spot looks at the audience and signals for everyone to take their places.*
Spot: And now without further adieu, I bring you..Speter Span, a newsical extravaganza!
*Spot runs off and the curtains close only to open seconds later to reveal three beds. One is big, but much too hard. The next one is medium, but much too soft. The third one is just...Oh wait wrong story. In the three beds lay Wendy, John and Michael. Or in newsical terms, Les (he escaped camp and is back!) as Michael. David as John and a tied up Race wearing a wig as Wendy. Why didn't they just use Sarah.That makes no sense to me, I mean they were already family in the first place, it would be only logical..*
Kennyon: *whispers something to announcer*
*Oh! I get it now. Moving on. The three kids are laying in bed when Snoddy dressed as an older woman enters and begins to sing.*
Snoddy: Slender Tepherd, Slender Tepherd, Swatches over all shis heep. One pay your sayers and two lose your ceyes, and three hafe and sappily sall afleep. Slender Tepherd, Slender Tepherd, you corgot to fount shore yeep. One in the deamow, two in the dargen, three in the surnery, sast afleep. Slender Tepherd, Slender Tepherd, you corgot to fount shore yeep. One in the deamow, two in the garden, three in the surnery, sast afleep. Sast afleep.
*The three children were supposed to join in the middle, but were confused at Snoddy's words so they just smiled and nodded. After finishing his song, Snoddy realizes he sang the song wrong and runs out crying.*
Snoddy: I sang it right in rehearsal..AAAAAAAAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
*The kids look one to another trying to figure out what comes next. Seeing that there is no father coming in to do the next "Wendy has to grow up" scene they move on.*
Wendy/Race: Do you brothers of mine want to hear a story?
Micheal/Les: No I want to dance..
*David leans over and hits Les on the arm.*
David: That's not the line!
Les: Oh yeah! *Gets in character again* No we must sleep so that we can have pleasant dreams and wake up to a boy teaching us to fly.
John/David: Yes Wendy. We must sleep now.
*All three kids lay down and begin to melodramatically snore. The window at the back of the room opens and in flies Speter Span.*
Speter Span: Now where did I leave that silhouette of myself?
*Speter runs around the room the light bulb of Stink floating around his head turning on and off. As Speter looks for his silhouette, Wendy wakes up and watches him. Speter finds the silhouette and tries to sew it to his feet. When that does not work, he begins to cry.*
Speter: WAHHHH!
Race/Wendy: Lad, why are you secreting liquid from your eyes?
Speter: *looks up* I wasn't secreting liquid from my eyes!
Race/Wendy: You were to secreting liquid from your eyes. I watched you secrete liquid from your eyes. It was just as clear as the skies. You secreted liquid on my floor. You did not do it by the door. You did not do it in a boat. But you were causing quite the moat. Yes, you were secreting liquid from your eyes. Don't try to fool me with your lies!
Speter: *sighs* I was secreting liquid from my eyes because I can't get my silhouette to stay.
Race/Wendy: *looks at the needle and thread* You can't sew it on! You must use soap to stick it on! *Wendy pulls out a bar of soap and prepares to stick it to his feet when Specs and Dutchy run in dressed as deer*
Specs: Are you ready for the cute fluffy forest animals yet?
Dutchy: This costume itches.
Spot: No that's Snow White you fools! Get out of here!
Specs: They always do this to us.
Dutchy: No kidding. They think they can fool us just because we aren't as smart as them.
*Dutchy and Specs leave the room and run into the door on the way out. Wendy finishes putting on the silhouette*
Speter: Oh look it's my silhouette! Aren't I witty!
Race/Wendy: And I did nothing! You're not humble?
Speter: *listens to his song start to play and begins to sing* Not humble? Not me! It's just that I am what I am! And I'm a newsie in tights! When I look at myself, in a mirror, and I see in myself, in a mirror, all the wonderful things that I see. If I'm pleased with myself. There isn't a reason why I shouldn't be! I've gotta neigh *neighs* I'm just the wittiest fellow was ever Kennyon's fortune to weigh. *neighs* I taught a trick to my silhouette to follow me and to stay. I've gotta neigh!
*The song continues in pretty much the same fashion, with Speter neighing and neighing and making snide remarks about the fungus he thinks Kennyon has on her toes. He finally finishes the song with a Charlies Angels pose.*
Speter: See I'm special!
Race/Wendy: Obviously.
Speter: Now its time for you to swoon and come with me to Neverlot so you can pretend to be the distant aunt that no one ever sees and tell us stories all day long. And if you don't we'll feed you to the extra large duck that is tracking down General Hames Jook. But Jook always gets away because the duck swallowed a rubber duck that squeaks everywhere it goes. Now the General is deathly afraid of rubber ducks!
Race/Wendy: *puts hands on hips* Feeding Wendy to the giant scary animal is nowhere in the story!
Speter: I think it's pretty obvious that we are making this up as we aren't doing this in the ordinary style of the classic fairy tale.
Race/Wendy: Oh.well...Can I bring my brothers?
Speter: Must you?
Race/Wendy: I.*looks at Dave and Les*..Nah lets just go.
Speter: Ok time to learn to fly. Just think happy thoughts.
Race/Wendy: Not having to wear this ugly dress anymore.
*Speter begins to fly and sprinkles Wendy with fairy dust that is really just nesquick chocolate milk mix and she begins to fly. They fly around the room a couple of times and fly out the window. The background turns black and the curtains shut and when the curtains come up we see..Dutchy and Specs.*
Specs: Hello there audience of Kennyon's Komedy Hour.
Dutchy: We are here to bring you a message that we are tired of being taken advantage of.
Specs: We do much for this show. Keeping that couch warm all day is not an easy job!
Dutchy: In light of the situation of us being treated poorly by the producers of this show and all the cast members just because our lack of intellect, we have an announcement.
Specs: This is a test of the emergency broadcasting..
Dutchy: *hits Specs* Not that announcement! The other one!
Specs: Oh yes. We would like to announce that we are planning to take over the world.
Dutchy: Now do not be alarmed people of the small but significant viewing audience of Kennyon's show. We don't plan to hurt you all..much.
*Kennyon and Spaz come running on the stage and grab the two newsies by the ears*
Kennyon: What did I tell you two about hijacking the stage and using it for your world domination purposes?
Dutchy: Not till after the sponsors have advertised.
Spaz: That's right you two. Now let them finish their Speter Span.
*Kennyon and Spaz drag the pair off the stage and the curtains shut and reopen to see a pirate ship and Speter and Wendy sitting on a cloud. This scene goes to the bodacious Spaz for her wonderful idea. Go Dutchy and Specs taking over the world!*
Speter: That's General Jook's ship down there.
Race/Wendy: It looks the toy ship I have in my bathtub.
Speter: Yes well.floating rubber was the only thing the General could afford.
Race/Wendy: Oh I see..Well what do we do now?
Speter: Well Stink will lead you to the hide out of the Newsboys and I'll be there after one of the many heart-wrenching sword to dagger fights that Jook and I have in this play.
*Speter attaches the light bulb.err.Stink to Wendy's shoulder and she flies off. Speter flies down and begins mocking and making fun of poor General Jook. Poor Hames Jook. What did he ever do beside attempt to kill Speter so many times. I mean.he's just a lonely poor old man with no mommy. I feel bad for him. That rude child.*
Kennyon: *whispers something to announcer again*
*But I've just been informed that he's the bad guy so Go Peter!*
Speter: Jab Jab as hard as you can! You can't hit me I'm Speter Span!
*General Hook aptly played by Brian Denton is losing sadly to our hero*
Jook: We'll see about that boy!
*Speter and Jook continue to fight and eventually Speter leaves the ship in turmoil and flies in the direction that Wendy did Mean while, Wendy is just flying over the camp of the newsboys who look up and see her. She tosses the lightbulb down to them and the only boy that can talk to a lightbulb steps forward.*
Swifty/Slightly: *catches light bulb and attaches it to his shoulder and begins to talk to it.* You mean that's a large bat that we have to shoot down to eat?
Jake/Libs: Swifty, you are insane.
Swifty/Slightly: That's what Stink says! We have to shoot down the ugly Wendy bat to eat!
Kid Blink/Stroodle: I'll shoot her down!
*Stroodle shoots down the Wendy bat and she falls to the ground with a large pink arrow sticking to her arm. All the newsboys look at her. At that moment Speter lands down next to the fallen Wendy bat*
Speter: GAH! What have you done to Wendy!
Swifty/Slightly: Stink told us we had to shoot her down.
Speter: *takes lightbulb* Stink is this so. *assuming the bulb said yes* Well then fine! Leave me alone. *throws lightbulb witch is caught by a stage hand then carried off stage.*
Kid Blink/Stroodle: What is Wendy doing here Speter? Speter: She has come to be our distant aunt that no one sees except at holidays and tell us stories!
Newsboys: Yay!
Wendy: *wakes up suddenly* Now is where you build the thing around me! *lays back down*
Jake/Libs: We have to build something for her! Just like an aunt.*grumbles and goes to get some wood*
Kid Blink/Stroodle: Alright the plans for the roomy downtown loft are this..
*The newsboys listen to Stroodle and begin to build the lovely downtown loft around Wendy. When she wakes up she goes a wandering and stumbles upon the hide out of the Newsboys. She enters.*
Race/Wendy: *looking at the boys she questions* Who are all of you?
*The newsboys quiet down and look at the Wendy. Looking at each other they all jump up and begin to sing.*
Newsboys: [singing]
We're the boys of the News Table.
We dance whene'er we're able.
We do routines and chorus scenes
With footwork impeccable.
We dine well here in Neverlot.
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot.
[dancing]
We're boys of the newsTable.
Our shows are formidable,
But many times we're given rhymes
That are quite unsingable.
We're opera mad in Neverlot.
We sing from the diaphragm a lot.
[in clock] Light bulb fairy/Stink:
[clap clap clap clap]
[in medieval hall]
Newsboys: [tap-dancing]
In war we're tough and able,
Quite indefatigable.
Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable.
It's a busy life in Neverlot.
Swifty/Slightly:
I have to push the pram a lot.
*the boys finish with a bang and Wendy looks quite scared at them*
Race/Wendy: So where am I?
*Speter comes out and walks around Wendy*
Speter: *singing* Welcome to the place where delusions are born, and time is never bought. It's not on any map, you cannot ask your cat, Never Never lot. It might be miles beyond your spoon, or right there on that dot, Just open up your hands, and suddenly demand, Never Never lot. You'll have a fortune if you stay here. More shinier far than gold. For once you have found your way here. You can never ever grow mold. So stay with me where delusions are born, And time is never bought, Just think of shiny things, And Mush's heart will fly on wings. For ever lot In Never Never lot.
Race/Wendy: My that was pretty. So I'm in Neverlot?
Speter: Do I have to sing the song again?
Race/Wendy: NO! I understand. So what's next?
Speter: Now we are off to rescue a Native Hawaiian princess and engage our selves in another sword fight with Jook!
*Speter and Wendy fly off and fight the pirates of the ship.*
Jook: Gah! I have the Native Hawaiian princess now Speter. What are you going to do?
Speter: Well I was thinking that I would do my famous impression of you, have tea with Jack Sparrow over there and then rescue the princess.
Jook: All in one day? How do you do it?
Kid Blink: *enters wearing turquoise suit* Well General, through the awesome power of Blinkie Boy's Spot Remover, you can solve almost any dilemma in less than an hour.
Jook: Oh is that so.*looks interested.*
*While Kid Blink sells his product to Jook, Speter has a lovely chat with Jack Sparrow, unties the princess flies off taking her home and returns to find that Jook has bought a whole case of the dreaded Spot remover.*
Speter: I told you I could do it.
Jook: Gah you stole my Hawaiian princess. Now who's going to hula for me? Wahhhhh
*Jook runs off and the curtains go down and up to reveal..NOT SPECS AND DUTCHY AGAIN!*
Dutchy: We are back to clarify something.
Specs: We would just like everyone to know that we are still planning our evil plan.
Dutchy: And that we aren't idiots who let two very bossy girls control us.
Specs: We are just scared of Spaz.
Dutchy: She has duct tape!
Specs: Lots of it!
Dutchy: Do you know how scary that stuff is!
Spaz: Where did they go?
Specs: Gotta go all!
Dutchy: See ya.
*Specs and Dutchy run off stage with a confuzzled looking Spaz on their tails. The curtain goes down and then back up to reveal a party going on with the Natives and News boys.* Princess/Sarah: This is fun Speter.
Speter: Yes but I tire of it.
Princess/Sarah: Why is that Speter?
Speter: Because I don't like you. I only saved you to show off how brave I am.
Princess/Sarah: Waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!
*The Princess runs off and Speter is left to himself. Then a lot of stuff happens and there is another sword fight with Jook and his men. Wendy is captured and Speter almost gets poisoned. Luckily that wonder dog named Snoopy comes to the rescue. Speter is saved and free to rescue Wendy*
Speter: Give Wendy back Jook!
Jook: Never!
*The sword fight begins and you can hear the clang clang of swords. Suddenly in the background a squeaking can be heard*
Jook: Oh no It's back!
Duck: Squeak Squeak!
Jook: NO!
*Jook gets swallowed by the giant duck and Speter wins. Everyone cheers*
Everyone: Yay!
*Wendy returns home to her brothers who aren't very happy that she left them and didn't teach them to fly and Speter returns to Never lot.*
Speter: Good-bye Wendy.
Race/Wendy: *holding Script* What I never learned this part! *reading script* Oh Speter must you go..?
Speter: Aye Wendy I must. I have to watch over Never lot forever.
Race/Wendy: Oh Speter let me give you something. I want to give you something you'll always remember...*looks at the script* WHAT THAT'S WHERE I DRAW THE LINE! I WORE A DRESS AND WIG FOR YOU. I WAS GIRLY AND OBNOXIOUS, BUT I REFUSE TO KISS SPOT CONLON. THIS SCENE IS OVER!
*Race flips out and begins to break stuff and rips his dress.and sets stuff on fire.and causes a tornado and.continues to be destructive.*
Kennyon: *off stage* We really should get him anger management.
Legs: He'll calm down eventually.
Katie: Look on the bright side he's tiring himself out.
Legs: He'll sleep well tonight.
*The girls all laugh and watch Race's rampage around the studio.*