After reading the horrible chapter in The Order of the Phoenix, 'Snape's Worst Memory', I decided to give the poor guy some slack. Well, just a bit, cause he looks like Zorro in the first movie. Nothing ever goes right for him, does it? (ha!)
What puzzles me is, why doesn't Dumbledore advertise for a Potions teacher, and then let Snape teach DADA when the other position has been filled? Pure craziness. Like this story. Ha ha. Oh. By the way. Review please, not if you don't want to, of course, but it would be nice.
The majority of people had shown up to see Snape get his ass kicked by Sirius. Of course, every single Slytherin and Gryffindor in the school had encircled the pair, forming a barrier of students. Although the Houses were infinitely opposed to one another, they let Snape and Sirius be their proverbial outlets, and not one of them missed the chance to see them charm, hex, curse, or jinx the shit out of each other. Sirius wore his usual fighting clothes, a pair of faded denim jeans, and a sleeveless red top, which had had a hole burned through it when Snape hit him with a fire hex the week before. Snape was wearing his usual black jeans and t-shirt, and had opted to wear a pair of steel-toed boots, which also had a metal bit sticking out in front. There was a neutral referee, a Ravenclaw sixth year who detested them both equally.
Snape and Sirius were in their fifth year, and as such, most of the wonderful puberty related transformations had occurred. Snape had a particular vendetta with Sirius now. Instead of his voice breaking, Snape had acquired a lisp, which resulted in him calling himself Theveruth Thnape for a year. Sirius, of course, had not forgotten, and adopted a speech impediment every time he was in Snape's vicinity.
"Prepare for the fight!" shouted the referee, and both Snape and Sirius handed their wands and robes to Lucius Malfoy and James Potter. The Slytherins and Gryffindors were cheering wildly, their shout echoing round the Room of Requirement, which had transformed into a large boxing ring, capable of holding nearly everyone in the school. "Black! Put those away!" shouted the referee; referring to the brass knuckles Sirius was in the process of putting on.
"Look at his shoes!" Sirius shouted, but the referee was addressing the crowd.
"If anyone is seen passing a competitor any foreign objects, said competitor will be disqualified, and the other will win by default." He said huffily, turning to face the fighters. He spaced them ten feet away from each other, and stood between them. "In order to win," he shouted over the jeers of the crowd, "your opponent has to stay down for ten seconds! To get up from staying down, you have to stand on both feet with no other part of your body touching the canvas! Understood?" Both Snape and Sirius nodded, eager to proceed. As the referee organized the crowd into a perfect circle around them, the competitors eyed each other up. They were strikingly similar, shoulder length black hair, which they kept flicking irritatedly out of their eyes, wiry muscles underneath lightly tanned skin, and the same carnivorous look twisting their thin faces. The bell rang.
Sirius lunged at Snape, hands outstretched; Snape dodged him, and kicked him swiftly while he was falling. The Slytherins cheered.
Pouncing back up, Sirius landed a tremendous punch on Snape's jaw. Dazed momentarily, Snape tottered around, until another punch from Black knocked him out of his semi-consciousness. It continued in this way for some time, exchanging punches, snarling and shouting obscenities, Black's face was streaked with blood from a vicious punch that split his forehead open. Snape had a huge black bruise on his cheek, and a swollen lip. Smiling crookedly, Snape clouted Sirius right on the chin. Howling in pain, Sirius' jaw cracked faintly as he hit himself hard to put it back in place. Blood pouring out of his mouth, Black jumped on Snape, throwing him to the ground. Sitting roughly on top of him, Black began raining punches down on Snape's chest and head, to the delighted cheering of the Gryffindor crowd. Gathering what remained of his strength, Snape jerked himself sharply off the ground, sending Black flying head over heels along the canvas, skinning his elbow. Clutching his ribs, Snape stood up, and as Black ran towards him, swung a steel-toed foot right between Black's legs. The room went completely silent. Sirius went cross-eyed, snapped his hands over his genitals, buckled at the knees, and fell to the floor. Curled in a fetal position, Black whimpered in pain. Grinning, Snape landed another kick in the small of his back. Yelping with the shock and pain of it, although remaining in the same shape, Black made no attempt to get up as the referee counted ever nearer to ten. When the final bell sounded, the Slytherins yelled so loudly the room shook, and laughing at the prone position of Sirius on the floor, being comforted by Lupin, they returned to their dorms.
"He's no use to you now Lupin!" jeered Snape, and triumphant, he left the room.
Short, I know, but still. I think it's good. But it's 3 in the morning and I'm plugged on caffeine, so maybe I'm wrong. I singed one of my eyebrows drinking sambouca earlier, silly me didn't blow it out first, so this is a consolation to myself. Bad grammar. But I'm too wired to care.
Please review.
Xanadan