Chapter 8: Truth

He wants to leave Olga. He's taking me with him. We've made the plans and everything. He even has the divorse papers. Neither of us mind that it will take a long time for them to go through. I'm only 16! He couldn't marry me yet anyway, although that is his intentions. Oh Diary! I'm so scared. Miriam, Bob and Olga will absolutely hate me! They'll disown me! What if this doesn't work out!? I will be all alone. May be this isn't such a good idea . . .

Arnold put the pink book down. He couldn't believe what he was reading. He knew Helga didn't like her sister. But to seduce her sisters husband and then think about running away with him . . . incredible. He looked at her. She was sitting on the sill of her window gazing gloomily out the window at the street below. He could hear young kids going off to play the same games, in the same places as they had when they were younger. Helga just kept staring out the window. He decided to read on . . .

Dear Diary,

I cant shake this feeling that Olga knows. She keeps glancing at me funny. Then she will look at Patrick. He ignores her or smiles at her like nothings wrong. I cant look her in the eye! I, Helga Pataki, cant lie to a sister I hate scratch that. I don't think I hate her all that much now. I think I'm making a big mistake. I love Patrick with all my heart, more than I thought possible (and that's saying alot!). What do I do? Do I follow my heart that says "Run with him Helga! You may never come across this kind of love again!"? or listen to my head that's saying "If this blows up in your face, and lets face it Helga ol' girl, good ideas of yours usually do, you'll be completely alone. No family, no friends nothing! Just you . . . besides if he's willing to cheat on your sister whats to say he wont cheat on you?"? I don't know. I'm having serious second thoughts now . . .

Dear Diary,

I'm not doing it. I cant. I have to much to lose. I have to tell him. I hope he understands . . .

Patrick! Could it have been Patrick who killed her? I mean the motive is there. Helga refused to go with him, he got mad . . . he looked at Helga. He turned to the next page. Nothing. That was her last entry. Wait no. At the back. He flipped there.

Dear Diary,

I'm drafting a letter of apology to Olga. I am going with him. He's convinced me. I will explain how later, though you know how I bet. Why do I talk to you as if your real ? ? ?

Dear Olga,

I'm so sorry. I really am. I didn't set out to fall in love with Patrick and make him fall in love with me. It was an accident. He wants me to leave with him, which I'm going to do. I'm sorry. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

Love your Baby-Sister Helga

How does that sound Diary? Short. I hope my family can forgive me.

There was nothing else written in the notebook besides some poems that made him feel . . . intrusive? They were very personal . . . explaining their love in a way that made him blush. But some of the sentences he bet could make a prostitute blush. Not only that but it looked as though they both contributed to most of them to. What would it be like to have that kind of love with someone? One where you could write stuff like that with? He looked at her. She had such a hard shell when they were younger. It was hard to picture her lying in bed with some guy, writing such versus. He felt a little annoyed. But not very annoyed. And not so much that she had done such stuff with some guy (if he had noticed he was referring to Patrick as "some guy" he ignored it) than the fact that she would do what she did to her sister!

"He didn't kill me" she told him. "And . . . it was interesting writing poetry in bed with Patrick" she said emphsizing on his name. "I didn't ever think I could do something like that with anyone. I mean if I had known about sex and had had raging hormones I might have thought that about you" she said with a slight blush. Arnold blushed a little too.

"Really?" he asked. Helga smiled and nodded.

"You know" she said. "No matter what I did and how much time I spent with Patrick you were always a niggle in the back of my mind. They say your first love is the one you never forget. Maybe it's true" she murmered, voice trailing off. She sighed and got up walking over to him. "To late to find out now I suppose" she said with a sad smile and tears brimming in her eyes. Arnold felt a little pain in his chest. He knew how she might be feeling. It was something he had once had a chance to find out, but instead looked the other way. Now he was wishing he hadn't. Would things have been different? Would he be stuck living with relatives he couldn't stand? Would he and Helga be seeing each other? Would she still be alive? So many questions whizzed around in his head. Questions he would never know the answer to. And that hurt. Then he looked at Helga again. But at least he has a chance to fall in love again. She didn't. She was dead, and stuck with him. How could he ever love anyone knowing she was so close? To be stuck with someone you would want but never have? He looked away. He knew Helga was reading his thoughts.

"I wont stick around permanently if you don't want me to," she said.

"I'll think about it," he said. "So do you remember anything? About your death?" he asked. Helga stepped back. She remembered. So she nodded.

"Patrick didn't do it, cause Patrick is dead. I know. I found the body," she said. Her mind flooded with the feeling of fear and grief at finding him lying on the floor. "He had all these holes in his back and blood was everywhere. Olga came up behind me. I never knew she caould be so quiet. I turned and she said "Why?" and her arm swung toward my head. I ducked and she only grazed my head. She dropped the trophy or threw it or something. I fell on top the thing. Then I felt a pain in my back" she said feeling it even now. "I knew something sharp had hit me and I turned and she plunged it down again and again and again. I don't know when she stopped. I passed out and was faintly aware of her cursing and yelling and then it slowly drifted away. I felt light and calm and then I was in your room looking at you. The letter! I gave Phoebe a letter to give you! Did she? No wait dumb question of course she didn't" she screamed. She was on a roll now. Arnold watched her nervously. She was remembering everything alright. He didn't think her sanity could handle it though. Then she stopped.

"I know how to catch her" she said. She looked at Arnold and he saw something in her eyes that frightened him more than anything he had ever seen.

Insanity.