Disclaimer: I do not own any WWE superstars nor do I own the WWE (damn!)
He looked at the man beside him and jumped to his feet in alarm. Matt's face had gone completely white with hectic red fever spots on his cheeks. He seemed to be having trouble catching his breath and his whole body was trembling.
Not at all sure what was wrong, Jay reached out and turned Matt's face up to his. "Tell me what's wrong, Matt, c'mon." He was worried. Matt's eyes were wild and he was sweating. Getting no response and afraid the man was really sick, he took him by the arms and gave him a little shake. "Matt!! You have to tell me what's wrong!! Now!" Matt pushed him away and climbed off the bed nearly falling in the process. His legs too shaky to hold him, Jay caught him and held onto him, despite Matt's struggles to free himself. "Matt, ya gotta calm down! It's just me! Now what is going on?!"
Matt didn't answer him but he stopped fighting and let Jay hold him up. He was panting now and Jay was afraid he'd pass out if he didn't stop. He sat the man back down on the bed and cautiously let him go. Looking at him more carefully, he became convinced that the cause was fat from physical. Matt looked scared out of his mind. He vaguely remembered someone saying something about one of the guys having a panic attack, and his eyes widened. "Matt, is this an anxiety attack? Has this happened to you before?" He knelt in front of him. "Look at me, Matt, is that what this is?"
Matt managed to nod, he was gripping his hair in both hands, and Jay reached up to stop him, afraid he'd rip it out. "Matt, it's gonna stop. You have to calm down."
Matt nodded again, but showed no sign of letting up. Jay watched him for a few minutes, turning something over in his head. He wasn't sure about it, but it seemed a shame to let his friend suffer like this. Hoping he wasn't about to get himself arrested or fired, he pulled out a duffel bag and removed a small box. From it he took a tiny clay pipe and a plastic baggie. He filled the pipe with some of what was in the baggie and brought it over to Matt. He lit the pipe and sat next to Matt. "I know you don't smoke. I know you don't do anything, but I want you to do this now. This is gonna make you feel better. I promise."
Matt nodded frantically. He felt like he was dying. His head was spinning, he could barely breathe, and his whole body was tingling. He barely saw what Jay was holding for him. All he knew was that if it didn't stop soon he would die.
Jay lit the pipe and held it for him. "It's gonna make you cough, Matt, cause you don't smoke, but breathe in as much of this as you can and hold on to it for as long as you can. It won't hurt you, I promise, and it will stop that." Matt did as he was asked, and Jay was surprised that he didn't immediately start to choke. "He's a natural," he thought with a laugh. He waited a minute or two and instructed Matt. "Do it again now and then that's enough." Matt did and Jay took the pipe away. He didn't want to fry his brains. He was relieved to note, however, that Matt's breathing had slowed down considerably and the trembling was letting up. He put the pipe away and prayed he'd done the right thing.
Matt drew on the pipe Jay was holding out and was almost immediately dizzier. For a minute he was scared but Jay was right there promising him it was okay. He trusted Jay enough to take another pull from the pipe when asked, even though somewhere in his mind he was pretty sure he knew what was in it. Within a very few minutes the adrenaline surging through his body backed off and he began to be able to breathe again. He could fell the fear draining out of him and very nearly cried with relief. This had been so bad he'd barely been able to answer anything Jay had said to him. He had really thought he would die. He looked up at Jay and began to smile. Jay looked flat and somewhat two-dimensional, almost like a drawing of Jay instead of the actual person. The thought stuck him as funny and he began to laugh. Jay smile back, "what's so funny, Matt?" Matt couldn't for the life of him wipe the smile off his face even though he felt like a goof. "You are. You look funny." Jay nodded, "I'm sure I do. Do you feel better?" Matt didn't answer, just rolled his eyes and shrugged. Jay laughed but it was nervous laughter. Matt was wasted. He pushed him back onto the bed and told him firmly, "I want you to go to sleep until it wears off. We'll talk when you wake up."
Matt giggled. "I can't go to sleep here. Jeff will wonder where I am." He didn't appear to be particularly worried about it, however, Jay nodded. "I'm calling him now and telling him you're crashed out over here. Now shut up and close your eyes." Matt was feeling more relaxed but Jay sure wasn't. He wished he hadn't done this, but god, the poor guy. He watched Matt trying to comply and go to sleep but he kept bursting into laughter. Jay had to laugh, at least he was happy.
~present day~ Matt turned over onto his side struggling to find a comfortable position. Seemed that no matter what he did something still hurt. His head, his eyes, his stomach, more than that though, there was a deeper pain. A pain he thought might be his soul. All this because he'd wanted to feel better. His eyelids closed finally, but even sleep didn't stop the rush of memory. It followed him down into dreams.
~five weeks previous~ Matt pulled the door shut behind him. For a moment, standing on the railed walkway looking down over the pool, he was confused. It had become a pretty regular thing for him, heading over to Jay's room after work, but he found himself missing his brother a little. Jeff's comment as he left today: "Matt, I sure don't see you much lately." It had him thinking. Maybe he should just hang here today. They could go done to the pool, just have some fun. But no he was all ready irritable and tired. If he hung around he'd just start snapping at people and end up in a fight. Might just be better off over at Jay's. at least there he wouldn't have to put up such a front. Especially since Adam and Jeff had gotten so wrapped up in working out that they never really went to Jay's room anymore. Boring, all they ever did was work.
Sighing a little, Matt headed down the stairs. Jay's room was all the way down and around the back. For the life of him, he couldn't figure out why they stuck him as far away as they did. Made for a long walk.
He jumped off the bottom step, skirted the pool, and trotted around back, counting doors as he went, lightly tapping on each as he hurried by. He knew it was probably annoying to the people in the rooms but he just couldn't bring himself to care. This was their first night here and nervous and jumpy he was anxious to find Jay's room. He counted down and came to the one Jay had told him, second from the end, wondering why he hadn't just given him the room number. There had been a reason for that, he knew, but he couldn't quite remember what it was. It seemed he had a lot of trouble remembering things lately. Well, whatever it was he'd found the room. He knocked and opened the door, hearing Jay's familiar "Hey, Matt," from the sitting room. The stepped inside, chained the door, and padded into the sitting room where he found Jay slouched on the sofa in front of the TV. "Hey, Jay." He plopped down onto the couch in much the same position as his friend and settled back with sigh. Jay smiled and reached under the couch bringing out a small tray. He glanced in Matt's direction. "You doing okay?" Matt nodded, indifferent, watching absently as Jay deftly set things up. "I guess so. I'm tired."
Jay continued speaking and Matt grunted, only vaguely aware that Jay was even speaking. He'd taken it upon himself to up his medication dose and was only vaguely aware of most things lately and right now he was even further distracted by Jay's preparations. He reached out and quickly accepted the lighter and the joint Jay was holding out to him. With a grateful sigh, he relaxed into the couch cushions and flicked the lighter.
~present day~ Waking up was disagreeable. He felt terrible. They'd told him to expect it. "Matt, you're not a drug addict. You're not going to have any real withdrawal problems but stopping this suddenly can cause side affect." Side affects? If he blinked his eyes, he was seasick. He glanced around and his eyes lit on Adam sitting across the room. For just a moment the pain in his heart faded but the moment was brief. Adam was watching him, expressionless, and there was no hint of warmth or affection. Matt sighed bitterly. It was no more than he deserved, he supposed. Nausea slammed in with a vengeance and he grabbed for the basin on the bedside table. He couldn't reach it and Adam was on his feet in a second handing it to him. No help or comfort there though. He went back to his chair and watched his friend struggling with sickness. When Matt could finally look up again, Adam was gone. Well, he hadn't treated him very well. He guessed it was only fair.
~four weeks previous~ Adam sighed and leaned his head against the wall in the elevator, his eyes closed. He couldn't believe they were making him play babysitter running after Matt.
Matt had told everyone that he would meet them in lobby in a minute, and after ten minutes the group had elected Adam to go fetch him so they weren't late for their photo shoot.
The elevator dinged, signaling that it had stopped on the fifth floor. Adam opened his eyes and stepped out the door into the hallway. He walked absently running his fingers over the gaudy lavender wallpaper the hotel had decorated its halls in. As he approached room 532, he saw the door was slightly ajar. He heard rustling noises from inside. He slowed down and when he reached the room he paused listening. He crinkled his brow and quietly pushed the door open a tad more and peered inside. It was Matt. He was rummaging around by Adam's bed. Adam frowned. He couldn't see what Matt was doing from his angle so he silently stepped into the room. Matt didn't appear to notice him. He was still to involved in his search. Adam walked in a little further and then stopped. Matt was definitely rummaging through something. That something was Adam's bag.
"Matt, what are you doing?"
Matt spun around putting the bag behind his back.
"Adam! Oh." Matt seemed flustered.
"Yeah, oh? What's that you've got?"
"Uhh, nothing. I was just...." He trailed off.
Adam just stared at him. He couldn't believe that Matt would violate his privacy like this.
"Matt, why are you in my bag?" He gave Matt a pointed look.
"Well, I uh, I didn't think that you'd mind.."
Adam suddenly noticed an orange bottle clutched in Matt's fist. "What's this?"
Matt glanced at the bottle in his hand. "Well, see, I ran out, so I thought.you know, it's the same thing, that you wouldn't mind if I got one off of you."
"Don't you think you should ask me first? You can't just take those things like they're aspirins you know put them back."
"Adam, come on, you don't understand. I ran out."
"Well, tell the doctor and you can get more."
Matt gave him a pleading look. "Adam!"
Adam just shook his head. "What's up with you, Matt? Look at you! What's your problem? Just put them back."
Matt replaced his pleading look with one of disgust. "What's up with me? What's up with you?"
"What the. just put my stuff back into my bag."
"Look, it's exactly the same thing I take. And I am supposed to take it now but I'm out. What's the big deal? I'll tell the doctor but I'm not supposed to skip. You know that! I'm supposed to take them on time!"
Adam couldn't believe that Matt was acting like this. It was just a pill after all. The doctor had said to only take them when they were needed. He sighed. "It is exactly the same..right?"
"Yes!" Matt was exasperated.
Suddenly Adam narrowed his eyes and glared at Matt. "How come you're already out? You can't be out that fast."
"God, I don't know I just am!" Matt interrupted.
"Matt! We got them at the same time! In fact." Adam trailed off remembering the hassle Matt had put them through just a week ago when he was hysterical because he had left his prescription at the last hotel. "You just got new ones last week because you forgot them at the last hotel. The bottle is supposed to last us four weeks. How can you be out already?" He gave Matt an accusing look.
"I just ran out, geez." Matt looked at the floor.
"Matt! How much of this stuff are you taking?"
"What do you mean?"
"What do I mean? I mean how many of these pills are you taking a day? You're way out of it lately. You sleep all the time. Matt, you can't just take those whenever you feel like it!"
"They're for my nerves right?" Matt looked up at Adam.
"Yeah, so?"
"Well, I only take them when something, or someone," he gave Adam a pointed look, "gets on my nerves."
"Matt, you."
"LOOK!" Adam just stared at Matt. "The doctor gave them to me! I'm not out buying them on some street corner!"
He looked at the man beside him and jumped to his feet in alarm. Matt's face had gone completely white with hectic red fever spots on his cheeks. He seemed to be having trouble catching his breath and his whole body was trembling.
Not at all sure what was wrong, Jay reached out and turned Matt's face up to his. "Tell me what's wrong, Matt, c'mon." He was worried. Matt's eyes were wild and he was sweating. Getting no response and afraid the man was really sick, he took him by the arms and gave him a little shake. "Matt!! You have to tell me what's wrong!! Now!" Matt pushed him away and climbed off the bed nearly falling in the process. His legs too shaky to hold him, Jay caught him and held onto him, despite Matt's struggles to free himself. "Matt, ya gotta calm down! It's just me! Now what is going on?!"
Matt didn't answer him but he stopped fighting and let Jay hold him up. He was panting now and Jay was afraid he'd pass out if he didn't stop. He sat the man back down on the bed and cautiously let him go. Looking at him more carefully, he became convinced that the cause was fat from physical. Matt looked scared out of his mind. He vaguely remembered someone saying something about one of the guys having a panic attack, and his eyes widened. "Matt, is this an anxiety attack? Has this happened to you before?" He knelt in front of him. "Look at me, Matt, is that what this is?"
Matt managed to nod, he was gripping his hair in both hands, and Jay reached up to stop him, afraid he'd rip it out. "Matt, it's gonna stop. You have to calm down."
Matt nodded again, but showed no sign of letting up. Jay watched him for a few minutes, turning something over in his head. He wasn't sure about it, but it seemed a shame to let his friend suffer like this. Hoping he wasn't about to get himself arrested or fired, he pulled out a duffel bag and removed a small box. From it he took a tiny clay pipe and a plastic baggie. He filled the pipe with some of what was in the baggie and brought it over to Matt. He lit the pipe and sat next to Matt. "I know you don't smoke. I know you don't do anything, but I want you to do this now. This is gonna make you feel better. I promise."
Matt nodded frantically. He felt like he was dying. His head was spinning, he could barely breathe, and his whole body was tingling. He barely saw what Jay was holding for him. All he knew was that if it didn't stop soon he would die.
Jay lit the pipe and held it for him. "It's gonna make you cough, Matt, cause you don't smoke, but breathe in as much of this as you can and hold on to it for as long as you can. It won't hurt you, I promise, and it will stop that." Matt did as he was asked, and Jay was surprised that he didn't immediately start to choke. "He's a natural," he thought with a laugh. He waited a minute or two and instructed Matt. "Do it again now and then that's enough." Matt did and Jay took the pipe away. He didn't want to fry his brains. He was relieved to note, however, that Matt's breathing had slowed down considerably and the trembling was letting up. He put the pipe away and prayed he'd done the right thing.
Matt drew on the pipe Jay was holding out and was almost immediately dizzier. For a minute he was scared but Jay was right there promising him it was okay. He trusted Jay enough to take another pull from the pipe when asked, even though somewhere in his mind he was pretty sure he knew what was in it. Within a very few minutes the adrenaline surging through his body backed off and he began to be able to breathe again. He could fell the fear draining out of him and very nearly cried with relief. This had been so bad he'd barely been able to answer anything Jay had said to him. He had really thought he would die. He looked up at Jay and began to smile. Jay looked flat and somewhat two-dimensional, almost like a drawing of Jay instead of the actual person. The thought stuck him as funny and he began to laugh. Jay smile back, "what's so funny, Matt?" Matt couldn't for the life of him wipe the smile off his face even though he felt like a goof. "You are. You look funny." Jay nodded, "I'm sure I do. Do you feel better?" Matt didn't answer, just rolled his eyes and shrugged. Jay laughed but it was nervous laughter. Matt was wasted. He pushed him back onto the bed and told him firmly, "I want you to go to sleep until it wears off. We'll talk when you wake up."
Matt giggled. "I can't go to sleep here. Jeff will wonder where I am." He didn't appear to be particularly worried about it, however, Jay nodded. "I'm calling him now and telling him you're crashed out over here. Now shut up and close your eyes." Matt was feeling more relaxed but Jay sure wasn't. He wished he hadn't done this, but god, the poor guy. He watched Matt trying to comply and go to sleep but he kept bursting into laughter. Jay had to laugh, at least he was happy.
~present day~ Matt turned over onto his side struggling to find a comfortable position. Seemed that no matter what he did something still hurt. His head, his eyes, his stomach, more than that though, there was a deeper pain. A pain he thought might be his soul. All this because he'd wanted to feel better. His eyelids closed finally, but even sleep didn't stop the rush of memory. It followed him down into dreams.
~five weeks previous~ Matt pulled the door shut behind him. For a moment, standing on the railed walkway looking down over the pool, he was confused. It had become a pretty regular thing for him, heading over to Jay's room after work, but he found himself missing his brother a little. Jeff's comment as he left today: "Matt, I sure don't see you much lately." It had him thinking. Maybe he should just hang here today. They could go done to the pool, just have some fun. But no he was all ready irritable and tired. If he hung around he'd just start snapping at people and end up in a fight. Might just be better off over at Jay's. at least there he wouldn't have to put up such a front. Especially since Adam and Jeff had gotten so wrapped up in working out that they never really went to Jay's room anymore. Boring, all they ever did was work.
Sighing a little, Matt headed down the stairs. Jay's room was all the way down and around the back. For the life of him, he couldn't figure out why they stuck him as far away as they did. Made for a long walk.
He jumped off the bottom step, skirted the pool, and trotted around back, counting doors as he went, lightly tapping on each as he hurried by. He knew it was probably annoying to the people in the rooms but he just couldn't bring himself to care. This was their first night here and nervous and jumpy he was anxious to find Jay's room. He counted down and came to the one Jay had told him, second from the end, wondering why he hadn't just given him the room number. There had been a reason for that, he knew, but he couldn't quite remember what it was. It seemed he had a lot of trouble remembering things lately. Well, whatever it was he'd found the room. He knocked and opened the door, hearing Jay's familiar "Hey, Matt," from the sitting room. The stepped inside, chained the door, and padded into the sitting room where he found Jay slouched on the sofa in front of the TV. "Hey, Jay." He plopped down onto the couch in much the same position as his friend and settled back with sigh. Jay smiled and reached under the couch bringing out a small tray. He glanced in Matt's direction. "You doing okay?" Matt nodded, indifferent, watching absently as Jay deftly set things up. "I guess so. I'm tired."
Jay continued speaking and Matt grunted, only vaguely aware that Jay was even speaking. He'd taken it upon himself to up his medication dose and was only vaguely aware of most things lately and right now he was even further distracted by Jay's preparations. He reached out and quickly accepted the lighter and the joint Jay was holding out to him. With a grateful sigh, he relaxed into the couch cushions and flicked the lighter.
~present day~ Waking up was disagreeable. He felt terrible. They'd told him to expect it. "Matt, you're not a drug addict. You're not going to have any real withdrawal problems but stopping this suddenly can cause side affect." Side affects? If he blinked his eyes, he was seasick. He glanced around and his eyes lit on Adam sitting across the room. For just a moment the pain in his heart faded but the moment was brief. Adam was watching him, expressionless, and there was no hint of warmth or affection. Matt sighed bitterly. It was no more than he deserved, he supposed. Nausea slammed in with a vengeance and he grabbed for the basin on the bedside table. He couldn't reach it and Adam was on his feet in a second handing it to him. No help or comfort there though. He went back to his chair and watched his friend struggling with sickness. When Matt could finally look up again, Adam was gone. Well, he hadn't treated him very well. He guessed it was only fair.
~four weeks previous~ Adam sighed and leaned his head against the wall in the elevator, his eyes closed. He couldn't believe they were making him play babysitter running after Matt.
Matt had told everyone that he would meet them in lobby in a minute, and after ten minutes the group had elected Adam to go fetch him so they weren't late for their photo shoot.
The elevator dinged, signaling that it had stopped on the fifth floor. Adam opened his eyes and stepped out the door into the hallway. He walked absently running his fingers over the gaudy lavender wallpaper the hotel had decorated its halls in. As he approached room 532, he saw the door was slightly ajar. He heard rustling noises from inside. He slowed down and when he reached the room he paused listening. He crinkled his brow and quietly pushed the door open a tad more and peered inside. It was Matt. He was rummaging around by Adam's bed. Adam frowned. He couldn't see what Matt was doing from his angle so he silently stepped into the room. Matt didn't appear to notice him. He was still to involved in his search. Adam walked in a little further and then stopped. Matt was definitely rummaging through something. That something was Adam's bag.
"Matt, what are you doing?"
Matt spun around putting the bag behind his back.
"Adam! Oh." Matt seemed flustered.
"Yeah, oh? What's that you've got?"
"Uhh, nothing. I was just...." He trailed off.
Adam just stared at him. He couldn't believe that Matt would violate his privacy like this.
"Matt, why are you in my bag?" He gave Matt a pointed look.
"Well, I uh, I didn't think that you'd mind.."
Adam suddenly noticed an orange bottle clutched in Matt's fist. "What's this?"
Matt glanced at the bottle in his hand. "Well, see, I ran out, so I thought.you know, it's the same thing, that you wouldn't mind if I got one off of you."
"Don't you think you should ask me first? You can't just take those things like they're aspirins you know put them back."
"Adam, come on, you don't understand. I ran out."
"Well, tell the doctor and you can get more."
Matt gave him a pleading look. "Adam!"
Adam just shook his head. "What's up with you, Matt? Look at you! What's your problem? Just put them back."
Matt replaced his pleading look with one of disgust. "What's up with me? What's up with you?"
"What the. just put my stuff back into my bag."
"Look, it's exactly the same thing I take. And I am supposed to take it now but I'm out. What's the big deal? I'll tell the doctor but I'm not supposed to skip. You know that! I'm supposed to take them on time!"
Adam couldn't believe that Matt was acting like this. It was just a pill after all. The doctor had said to only take them when they were needed. He sighed. "It is exactly the same..right?"
"Yes!" Matt was exasperated.
Suddenly Adam narrowed his eyes and glared at Matt. "How come you're already out? You can't be out that fast."
"God, I don't know I just am!" Matt interrupted.
"Matt! We got them at the same time! In fact." Adam trailed off remembering the hassle Matt had put them through just a week ago when he was hysterical because he had left his prescription at the last hotel. "You just got new ones last week because you forgot them at the last hotel. The bottle is supposed to last us four weeks. How can you be out already?" He gave Matt an accusing look.
"I just ran out, geez." Matt looked at the floor.
"Matt! How much of this stuff are you taking?"
"What do you mean?"
"What do I mean? I mean how many of these pills are you taking a day? You're way out of it lately. You sleep all the time. Matt, you can't just take those whenever you feel like it!"
"They're for my nerves right?" Matt looked up at Adam.
"Yeah, so?"
"Well, I only take them when something, or someone," he gave Adam a pointed look, "gets on my nerves."
"Matt, you."
"LOOK!" Adam just stared at Matt. "The doctor gave them to me! I'm not out buying them on some street corner!"