Sam finally broke the hug for a moment, holding Noah out at arm's length so he could see the boy better, see if this was all some sort of dream or.... He slowly reached out, unfastening Noah's shirt, staring at the scars on the otherwise smooth flesh with unshed tears stinging his eyes. His fault, all his fault. How could he have left one of his kids behind, left one of his kids.... He pulled Noah to him again in another bear hug.
"Sam, need to breathe, okay? Believe me, I'm very glad to see you too," Noah said as he broke the hug a couple of minutes later, reaching down to fasten his shirt back up. Why in the world were his bosses so fascinated with those scars anyway? He wondered how that boded for the rest of his co-workers. He wasn't going to strip down in the middle of the office to satisfy their curiosity, that was for sure.
"How?" A world of pain was packed into that one little word. "Noah, I saw...."
"Sam, I really have no idea how in the world everyone thought I was dead." Noah was still having a ton of trouble wrapping his mind around the idea himself. "First thing I remember was waking up in the hospital room without a clue where, or even WHO, I was, and this nurse staring at me with this deer in the headlights look before she screamed and ran out the door."
"Never thought you would frighten a nurse. Now Cosmo or Bobby...." Sam said, shaking his head as he laid back against the raised head of the gurney he was laying on. The shock of realizing that Noah was actually here and alive was starting to wear off a bit and the room was spinning slightly once more.
"They honestly thought that I was going to die. Maybe that's how things got mixed up? They just decided to tell you I was dead early or something? Oh, wait, they did say I flatlined. They hauled in a crash cart and revived me somehow. But that still wouldn't explain...." Noah shook his head giving up trying to figure out how that mixup occurred for the moment. He was fairly sure Colleen would be having several long and meaningful talks with the ER staff about it until they figured out what had happened. "When the nurses calmed down enough to talk, they all suggested I see about a getting a lottery ticket with the way my luck was going. I wasn't supposed to be alive and I definitely wasn't supposed to be awake. The only reason that I even lasted long enough to get to an operating room was because the right doctor happened to be bringing some medical students through at just the right time. Don't know all the details. Too technical. But I think I provided those students with an education and a half that week from what I was told. Good thing their lesson wasn't on pulling the plug that week. Wasn't supposed to survive being shot like that, wasn't supposed to come out of that coma, wasn't supposed to be anywhere near functional. You know," Noah mused, " it might not be a bad idea to see about that lottery ticket."
Sam closed his eyes for a moment, slowly running Noah's words over in his head. Coma, injuries bad enough to make a recovery next to impossible. And he had left that boy behind alone in that condition. How.... He wasn't fit to be in charge of a team anymore, not if he could mess things up that badly.
"Sam, don't blame yourself, okay?" Noah said quietly. "I don't know how this mess happened but it wasn't your fault." Any lingering traces of hurt Noah might have felt were erased at the sight of Sam's guilt stricken expression. "You didn't know. You'd have stayed if you had."
"Damn straight," Sam said fiercely, then fell silent for a moment. Noah watched as the older man struggled with his emotions, aching to see Sam so upset but comforted at the same time. He really did care. Tears stood in Sam's tortured eyes. Finally Gerard had himself under enough control to venture speaking once more.
"How did you end up here?" Sam asked quietly. He didn't have to ask why Noah hadn't contacted them, knowing without question if the boy had been able to, he would have.
"The bureaucrats at the hospital were getting decidedly unhappy about my continued presence there without any apparent insurance to bill," Noah said with a chuckle picturing the expressions on those people's faces when they found out he had got his memory back and who he really was. "They wanted to ship me off to a homeless shelter as soon as they thought I was actually going to live. Hospital administrator, Colleen, really stood up to them. Made them keep me until I was at least back on my feet and had had a chance at some rehab. Then she found this job for me with the school here." Noah thought for a moment before continuing. "I missed all of you a lot, you know. I didn't know exactly what was missing until I saw Catherine after the tornado but there was this big hole...."
"Catherine," Sam whispered softly, the memory of that sheet covered body coming rushing back to him. His eyes were stinging more sharply and he could no longer hold back a stray tear as the room begin to spin in ever tighter circles. How could she be taken from him in the same moment that Noah was miraculously restored?