*All of the characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. This story takes place starting right after Bella finds out that Jacob is a werewolf.*
-Bella-
"Run! Run Jacob." I sprint towards him, my shoes slipping in the mud and I fall to the ground. A tearing sound comes from above me and when I turn I can't believe my eyes. A massive brown wolf stands in the place where Jake should be, his copper-brown fur glistening in the light, snarling towards Sam and the others.
"Jake..." I gasp. It is true, the stories-everything. My Jacob, a wolf. The story replays in my mind, how their ancestors were descendants of wolves, how they hunted vampires. How did this become my life? Vampires, Werewolves-it feels like a twisted version of The Wizard of Oz. Before my mind is even finished comprehending the fact that my life is suddenly overrun with mythical beings, Jake and the other wolf begin to fight, snarling and teeth snapping against each other echo against the treelined field as I watch the wolves begin to attack each other. The next thing I knew, I was sitting in the back of the car with the other boys as they took me to Sam's house.
"Don't stare." One of them warned me before I entered the quint little house, I didn't realize what he meant until my eyes landed on her face. Half completely scarred and the other half not, somehow she was still beautiful and, as my eyes darted downwards when I remembered the warning I was given I wondered the story behind the scars.
I watch as the boys playfully devour the food that is given to them, throwing punches and jabs at one another as they make bets on who won the scrap. My stomach flip-flops with the thought of Jacob being hurt somewhere in the forest.
-Jacob-
I throw the shirt and jeans on that I keep stashed in the woods for moments like this. What is she going to think of me? Is she not going to talk to me? What have I done? My mind races and I walk towards Emily and Sam's house. I pause just before the door.
"Here goes nothing."
I step into the house, the smell of freshly cooked bread welcomes me into their home. My eyes scan the room until I find her, standing against the wall. Her dark hair falling against her shoulders, as she stands there, as awkward as typical Bella can be. A smirk pulls at my lips as I realize that her eyes scan my body, but when they connect with mine I realize that they are full of unanswered questions and anger. I motion my head to the left and wait for her to walk out before me as I follow her down to the La Push beach. I follow behind her silently listening to the waves lap the shoreline, waiting for her to speak.
Finally, her voice breaks the silence.
-Bella-
"Were you ever going to tell me? Or were you just going to disappear something you promised me that you wouldn't do? Is this, like a choice-how does all of this even work? I-" I run my fingers through my hair, as I gasp realizing that I just asked so many questions in one sentence. I turn to him, waiting for an answer to any of them, an answer to something.
"Bella. You have to understand that this isn't something that I chose, this is who I am. I couldn't tell you, it's part of the whole...wolf thing. I wasn't going to disappear, I told you-Look I tried telling you the best way that I could last night without actually saying it, you had to figure it out on your own. But, then you decided to go and punch a werewolf." He trails off as he looks at my wrist, capturing it in his hand. "This is swollen Bella, why haven't you put ice on this?"
"I-" I pull my hand back, finally realizing that it hurts. "I honestly didn't notice until you said something just now.." I gaze down at my swollen hand, my knuckles turning a strange shade of purple. I glance back up at Jacob, concern etching his face.
"We need to put ice on this, come on." He grabs my other hand and starts to lead me back towards Sam's house.
"Jacob." I stop, planting my feet onto the ground. "You were going to leave, you were going to leave me and you promised that you wouldn't...You promised that you wouldn't leave me..." My chest gets tight as it gets harder to breathe. The panic started clawing its way up from my stomach into my throat. I can't breathe, I can't see, I feel like I am being crushed like hands are grabbing my throat and twisting. The sounds of the waves are all that I hear echoing in my ears as I fall to my knees. This is what drowning feels like.
-Jacob-
"Bella! Bella, I'm not going anywhere, I'm right here." Nothing I am saying seems to be working. She is on the ground, sand covering her knees as she cries, deep sobbing cries that tear me apart on the inside. I hold her against me until finally she stills and falls asleep. I carry her to my house, through the forest, she is asleep the whole time. Watching her, I have a feeling that she hasn't slept this good in so long and that pisses me off. Cool it. I remind myself that changing while holding Bella isn't the best idea. I can run it off later, I remind myself. When I finally reach my house she hasn't moved an inch. Her long hair draped over her eyes, I feel my chest tighten. Laying down beside her on the bed I watch her sleep.
The crinkles in her nose as she dreams, the frown lines in her forehead. I watch as sleep drapes itself over her, succumbing to whatever tricks her mind plays on her in her unconsciousness. I don't know how long I watch her before sleep takes me as well, or how long I was out before I wake up to her screaming.
-Bella-
I am running, being chased by Victoria, her red hair flashing as I catch glimpses of her throughout the forest. The ground is slick beneath my feet, as I stumble through the undergrowth trying to escape the woman chasing me. Before I can turn around I run into something hard, knocking me to the ground and the wind right out of me. I look up to see Edward's cold eyes staring at me. Suddenly his mouth is moving and all that I can hear is him telling me that he doesn't want me, that he doesn't love me, that he could care less what happened to me. The panic starts to overcome me as I turn and see Victoria getting closer and closer, her hair red as blood, and then before I realize it, it's my blood. I am bleeding, my hand covers my burning arm as I turn and see James biting into my flesh, a demonic smile overtaking his face. I thrash away from him until my back hits something hard. I turn and see Jacob transform into a wolf, his snarling teeth forming the words "I'm leaving, I'm not coming back. None of us are. You're all alone." I scream as they all start to close in on me.
-Jacob-
Her arms flail wildly as she punches the air, screams ripping through her mouth with such terror that her voice cracks. She screams my name, and before a sense of happiness flows through me she says his name too. I grab her arms and lightly shake her awake calling her name as I do so. Her eyes open in terror, glistening from tears, and as beautiful as she looks right now-my heart twists inside of my chest at the amount of pain, sorrow, and fear that fills her eyes. She goes limp beneath me and looks away from me towards the window snuggling her head into my chest.
"What happened?" She croaks.
"You had a panic attack at the beach, passed out and I carried you back here. Sam called Charlie and told him that you fell asleep at my place and that I would bring you home sometime today. What were you dreaming about?" My eyes try to search hers for some kind of answer but all that I get back is fear.
"Everything," She whispers.
"What do you mean? You were terrified Bella...talk to me. I'm right here." I move a piece of her beautiful hair from her eyes.
"I'm running, I am running from Victoria through the woods-"
"Who's Victoria?"
"She is the redhead vampire that was James's mate..the one who did this." She pulls her sleeve up to reveal the teeth marks buried into her flesh and I cringe.
"Bella..."
"Let me finish Jake." She looks at the wall and continues. " It seems like no matter where I run, or how far she is always right behind me. I'm running through the woods until I run into..." She clears her throat and continues. "Edward. And then it's just everybody telling me that they're not going to stay. That I am alone, that everybody is leaving."
"Bella." I grab her jaw and turn her face towards mine, "I am not going anywhere. Ever. I am right here, no matter what." Little does she know how true that is for me. All that matters is her, I never told her that I imprinted on her, that day that I saw her when she came back to Forks. It was like my entire world stopped spinning as if the world stood still on its axis and the only thing that was grounding me to the present was her. She is all that I think about, all that I know. All that I desire, but I can't tell her. I can't tell her because I don't want her to feel like her world is crumbling with more pressure than it already is. I don't want her to have to be forced to choose. I want her to choose me because for once, I am the thing that is holding her to this world as much as she is me. I want her to love me.
-Bella-
Jacob's eyes were staring right back into mine, with so much intensity that I had to close mine and press my cheek against his hot hand. I didn't know what it was that was stirring inside of me. The feelings that built up and were trying to find their way out of the despair. The drowning didn't seem to be so bad now, it was almost as if I was standing on a cliff with the waves splashing against me, occasionally still filling my lungs, rather than being engulfed. I didn't want to feel this way about Jacob, especially when I couldn't breathe about the way that I felt about Edward. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair because I was still so in love with somebody who left me so easily when Jacob was right in front of me. I felt guilty, guilty for having these feelings. For thinking this way. I didn't know what was wrong with me.
"Hm..." I muttered into his palm. "I should probably get headed back, Charlie is probably wondering where I am."
"Right. I uh-I can take you back on the bi-no that wouldn't be a good idea. Charlie would kill me."
"You got that right."
"I can take you back in the Rabbit." His eyebrows arch and a smile tugs at his lips.
"As long as you don't drive like a maniac."
He raises his hands into the air. "You have my word, bells. Scouts Honor. Not a line over fifty."
"How about forty-five?"
"You wound me with your fear of speed Bella."
"I was with a vampire that moved faster than a...blur through the forest and drove like a crazy person. I enjoy slow sometimes."
His eyebrows shoot up and a flash of something crosses over his eyes. "Oh, I will be sure to remember that."
Something in the way that he said it, made me blush. "Well, I am sure that Charlie will appreciate that."
-Jacob-
I chuckle under my breath as I step into the rain, I feel the steam rising off of my body as I remove my jacket and place it over her arms. I feel like a million degrees. Something to love and hate about myself, the constant warmth. The drive is slow, considering I made a promise to drive like a Grandma, but I know when it comes to her safety I would do anything she asks...and then that's when I remembered the redhead she had mentioned earlier.
"Bella?"
"Yeah?"
"Earlier, you mentioned a redhead, the one that was James's...mate?"
"Yeah, I don't know where she went, she just disappeared after they killed James. Edwards said that she might come looking for me because you know-mate for a mate." My hands grip harder onto the steering wheel when the realization pieces together.
"Did she travel with that bloodsucker that we killed the other day? The one that had the dreads in the meadow?"
"Yeah, all three of them traveled together at one point. He was the leader, James was the tracker and honestly, I am not sure what Victoria played in all of it. Why?"
"Because we have been chasing a redheaded bloodsucker through the forest for the past month. And now that I know she's after you, you're not leaving my sight."
"She-Victoria is in town? She's here?"
"Yes."
"Jacob, I don't want you to get hurt, I don't want anybody to get hurt because of me.."
I glance over at her face, full of determination, sadness, and guilt. My insides turn. God, why does she have to look at me with those eyes? "Bella, I don't think that you understand, there is one of her and a whole lot more of us. We took care of L-whatever his name is just fine, I think that we can handle a psycho lover. Besides, I made you a promise, I'm not going anywhere, but I also am going to protect you. Nothing is going to happen to you while I'm here. Not to you, not to Charlie. Not to anybody." I reach out to touch her face. "I promise."
I drop her off at her house, leaving my Rabbit parked off to the side of the house I phase and enter the forest, my mind racing with information that the pack devours.
The Redhead that is in town is after Bella, I am going to stay and do patrol around her house tonight.
"You're not taking the whole shift, Jacob." Sam's bellowing voice echoes in my head. "Quill and Embry will come by and relieve you later. Bella will be fine Jacob."
She better be. If one of those filthy bloodsuckers even lays a finger on her they're dead.
"We have a treaty, Jacob. There are certain ones that we can't do anything about unless they're trying to hurt Bella. We have the advantage now that they're gone-"
So let's hope that they just never come back and that won't be an issue.
-Bella-
The howling throughout the night was close enough for me to hear, but that might have been because I was listening for it, the same way that I was listening to every creak of the house wondering if it was Victoria coming to finish me off or not. Charlie sleeps like the dead, he wouldn't even know what was going on, a pretty bad attribute for a cop in my opinion. The night seemed to drag on forever as I ran through the possible scenarios of what would happen if she did find me. If somehow she got past Jacob and the pack. Would she kill me easily? No. That didn't seem like her, she would probably make me suffer. Honestly, at this point, anything to numb the pain would be a welcome relief. It would help just knowing if Edward was okay, he said that he wanted me to move on, that he didn't want me anymore. Even though I know that it would kill me to see him again knowing that I am nothing that he wants, I just want to know that he is safe. That he is happy, and for some reason, the thought of that depresses me even more. All of this unknowing is eating me apart inside. I feel like I am being strung like Christmas lights, each one leading in different directions. My heart telling me that Edward was the one, the one person that I was supposed to spend forever with. Eternity. But is that really what I want? Do I want a life of coldness, anger, bitterness, resentment? Do I want to be a killer? How much of myself would change? And yet the biggest question of all kept springing to my mind.
Who would I lose in the process? My dad? Myself? Jacob? The thought of losing him hurts worse than I thought that it would. Knowing that every fiber of his existence would hate who I was. Hate who I would become. Slowly, my thoughts lulled me to sleep. And the nightmares took hold.
-Jacob-
"Jacob! It's Bella, she's screaming. I'm headed there now-"
His voice fades out as I phase and throw my shorts on during my full sprint to her house. I jump up the tree and grab onto her window pulling myself up. A flash of red streaks by my peripheral vision and the stench of death fills my nose.
"Bella!" I turn towards her bed only to see it empty, panic starts to set in.
"J-Ja-Jake." She whimpers and I finally see her crumpled by her dresser, terror written all over her.
"Are you hurt? Bella are you okay?" I desperately search her face, grabbing her jaw in my hands and surveying every inch of her beautiful skin looking for anything.
"Charlie!" She tries to bolt to her feet but she wobbles into me as her legs give out, I set her gently on the bed.
"I'll go check on him." As I go to leave she grasps my hand, her hands cold and clammy against mine.
"No, Jake. Please, don't go. Don't leave me." her voice is like a whisper. Almost as if I was hearing the wind blow through the trees instead of her voice escaping those soft lips.
"I'm not going anywhere Bells, I promise." I hold her as I yell over my shoulder. "Quill!"
"He's not here Jacob, he left early with Billy to go fishing. Embry followed them out there to keep an eye on them."
"Good, make sure that somebody else goes out there with him. We shouldn't be alone like this." Bella trembles beneath me, her thin frame shaking against my arms.
"Bella, love. You have to calm down, okay? You have to breathe, it's okay. You're safe. I'm here." I stroke her hair, letting her sob into my chest. There isn't anything that I wouldn't do for this woman and her pain is burning me from the inside out.