Chapter Six - Yami's birthday
Disclaimer - I *yawn* don't own Yu-gi-oh
Malik:*pokes me* Hey don't go to sleep now.
Me:*sleepy* Naze?
Yami:*scolds* Don't do that leave Ruth alone!
Malik:*evil grin* Give me one good reason Pharaoh.
Yami:*nervous* You really don't want to wake her up.
Malik:*laughs and keeps poking me*
Me:*jumps awake and shouts* STOP FUCKING ME POKING ME!
Malik:*yells* AAGGHH!
Yami:*blows raspberry* Told ya so.
Me:*annoyed* What do you guys want anyway?
Malik: Can I kill Anzu again in this chapter?
Me: Maybe in one of your dumb blonde moments.
Malik:*yells* NANI? *pulls out millennium rod* I'LL KILL YOU!
Me:*scared* Now Malik you don't want to use that *runs through house yelling* OH SHIT! *cornered* FUCK!
Malik:*evil laugh* Heh gotcha now bitch never call me a dumb blonde.
Me:*smiles* Alright I'm at your mercy *up against wall wraps arms around his neck and kisses him* Well that stopped you in your tracks *whispers* Don't tell Yami cos he's my fave.
Yami: What's going on?
Me:*runs to Yami and glomps him* Malik scared me.
Yami:*hugs me* Its ok now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day Yugi asks his yami a serious question (note - Ooooohhh a serious question)
Yugi: When's your birthday Yami?
Yami:*thinks then runs to a calendar, comes back* In two days time.
Yugi:*anime fall* Agh what am I gonna do?
Yami:*puzzled* We've been together for a whole year and you've never thought to ask that til now?
Yugi:*snorts* I had other things on my mind like trying to STAY ALIVE!
Yami:*shrugs* Good point.
Yugi: Come on lets go find Grandpa and see what he thinks.
The pair find Yugi's Grandpa cleaning the game shop.
Yugi:*smiles* Grandpa its my yami's birthday in two days time. What should we do?
Grandpa: Lets organise a party.
(note - yet another party I wanna live with them)
Yami:*half-smile* Do I get a birthday cake?
Grandpa:*nods* Hai! We'll also have a few party games and rent a couple of movies which, I'll rent instead of the others.
(note - looks like Grandpa don't want them watching scary films)
Yugi:*excited* Oh we could play pin the tail on the donkey.
Yami:*smacks head* I live with a 5yr old. Yugi I'm gonna be 5001yrs old, I don't want to play pin the tail on the donkey.
Grandpa:*laughs* At least you're older than me.
Yugi and Yami:*sweatdrop*
Grandpa: Hadn't you be on the phone calling your friends *yells* DON'T BE LONG!
Yugi: Hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two days later the living room is decorated with streamers, balloons and banners saying "Happy birthday Yami".
Door bell rings:*DING DONG*
Yami:*opens door*
All:*shout* HAPPY BIRTHDAY YAMI!
Yami:*wipes away a tear* Aw you guys.
Bakura:*mutters* Fucking Ryou dragging me to this to fucking hell hole *slightly louder* Fucking Ryou!
Yugi:*sweatdrop* Ryou aren't you gonna say something?
Ryou:*sadly* Nothing I say ever makes him shut up. I'm used to it.
Yugi: Come on in gang.
Everyone walks in.
Mai: Well lets get this party started *brings out bottle of Pepsi Max and several glasses* Lets play "I never" again.
All:*groan but go along with it since they can't think of anything else. All get a glass of Pepsi Max*
Yami:*grins* I'll start. I never mooned a truck driver before.
Seto:*glares* You're the one who fucking me dared me *takes a drink*
Bakura:*evil grin* I never had my swimming trunks pulled off.
Ryou:*mutters darkly and takes a drink*
Malik: I pissed in a swimming pool.
Yugi:*mumbles* Why bring that up? *turns red and drinks*
Seto: I never took a dump in a public place.
Joey:*takes a drink* I was only 3 I really had to go and there were no loo's nearby.
All: Eeewww!
Miho:*bored* This is dull lets play spin the bottle.
Mai:*glares* No one argue or else *spins empty Pepsi bottle it points to Honda*
Honda:*spins bottle it points to Serenity* Alright! *kisses Serenity lightly on the lips, she blushes and Joey fumes*
Serenity:*still blushing* Ok my turn *points to Miho*
Miho:*smiles* I hope I get to kiss Ryou *it points to Marik*
Marik:*grabs Miho in to a bear hug and practically slobbers over her face*
Miho:*screams* Ew Marik that's gross *wipes her face*
Anzu:*laughs*
Miho:*spins bottle it points to Malik she grins*
Malik:*points to Bakura*
(note - bet you knew that would happen ne?)
Malik:*evil chuckle* Lets give them a show! *he locks lips with Bakura for full on snogging action*
Anzu:*hides face* Yuck! They're using tongues!
All:*grossed out* PLEASE STOP!
Bakura:*breaks off and whispers* Save the rest for later.
Yugi: Err Grandpa and Miho brought some movies.
Everyone sits down on the coach except Malik who ran off to the bathroom. (note - I wonder why? Nope don't think I wanna know) Yugi puts in "The Wizard of Oz" Heh. When the munchkins showed up Malik was still upstairs.
Bakura and Marik:*scream* AAAGGGHHH! MUNCHKINS! FOR THE LOVE OF RA NO!!!!
Malik:*comes downstairs sees the T.V and dives behind the sofa and shakes like a leaf* Turn it off, turn it off, for Ra's sake turn it off!
Yami:*rolls eyes* You three are really strange. You know that? *pulls out tape*
Miho:*jumps up and slams in a tape* I got this movie from a friend of mine, she said she couldn't watch anymore preferred her violent Manga's.
The tape starts to play the care bear's movie (note - here's a hint to my age I remember the care bears first time round *shudders*)
Malik, Bakura Seto and Marik:*hide their faces behind cushions* AGH STOP TORTURING US!!!
The care bears begin to sing songs about love and caring while sliding on rainbows. All four boys freak out and run from the room screaming. Malik hides under a table, Seto runs up to Yugi's room, Bakura tries to get in to the cooker and Marik tries to stab his eyes out but was yelling too much.
Anzu:*sweatdrop* Why can't they watch anything happy for once?
Mokuba and Yugi:*whine* We were enjoying it!
Isis:*sighs* I'll go find my brother *finds Malik cowering under a table rocking back and forth* Malik come on out its ok now brother *holds out hand*
Everyone else is trying to coax Seto and Bakura from their hiding places, while Anzu grabs the knife from Marik. Yami is rolling around on the floor laughing holding his sides cos they hurt.
Malik:*runs to Anzu grabs her round her neck and grabs the knife* Heh ha ha ha *crazy evil laugh* I'll teach this care bear to sing happy songs *slits open Anzu's throat then drops her* Now for the rest of you care bears *evil grin*
Isis:*yells* OH MY GOD MALIK HAS LOST HIS GRIP ON REALITY HE'S MAD!!!
(note - well that's nothing new)
Mokuba:*hides behind Seto who came back downstairs* Help Malik is nuts!
Seto:*mutters* Blame Miho its her fault.
Joey:*picks up a frying pan and whacks Malik on the head* I always wanted to do that.
Serenity:*hugs Joey* Wow you were really brave.
Joey:*moans* Sis not in front of the guys.
Serenity: Gomen.
Yami:*wiping his eyes* Hmm he's out cold.
Isis:*picks up her brother* Yami I'm leaving early to take Malik and his yami home *dragging Malik leaves followed by a jumpy Marik*
Ryou:*comforting his yami who is still sobbing* There, there all the nasty care bears are gone, and Malik killed one of 'em *pats him on back*
Bakura:*sniffs* Ok Ryou though I don't like you I trust you.
Otogi: Man I'm starved can we eat yet?
(note - I thought someone was being quiet lol)
Joey and Honda: Me too.
Yugi:*nods* Food is in the other room there's plenty so.. *stampede rushes past him* don't rush *sighs*
Yami:*runs to food* Agh we better hurry before that pig of a tomb robber scoffs the lot.
(note - Mmm party food everyone the world over knows what party food is so I aint mentioning it, oh they got Oreo's man I love that American cookie. I know I'm rambling but for a short while they showed in England, I guess not many people liked 'em since I aint seen 'em in ages. We English are strange. I WANT AN OREO! Sorry back to the fic)
The group gathers round the party food and eat til their full, then Grandpa shows up carrying an iced sponge cake written on it "Happy birthday Yami". It only had one candle.
Yugi: 5001 candles wouldn't fit on so there's only one gomen.
Yami:*hugs Yugi* That's all right.
Otogi: Blow out the candle and make a wish.
Yami:*blows out candle*
When Yami had blown out the candle they sang happy birthday, except Seto and Bakura sang different words.
Seto and Bakura:*singing if you can call it that* Happy birthday to you, I went to the loo, I saw a fat porcupine and I thought it was you!
Yugi:*excited* Now its time for presents yay!
Here's a list of who got what for Yami.
Ryou - A beige sweater just like his (not Yami's style at all)
Bakura - A king Cobra (he hoped it would jump out of the box and bite Yami, seemed disappointed when it didn't)
Yami:*sarcastic* Nice try tomb robber *throws snake outside*
Bakura:*snarls* Fuck you Pharaoh!
Seto and Mokuba - A laptop computer with built in modem (remember chapter 4?)
Mai - A leather thong (?!)
Otogi - A starter set of Dungeon Dice Monsters. Honda - A porn movie (typical)
Joey and Serenity - A month's supply of hair gel.
Miho - A cuddly care bear (burn it later)
Yugi - A new muscle shirt (yay)
Anzu - A pair of pink slippers (gross I hate pink no offence intended)
Isis - A Scarab beetle encased in amber (pretty)
Malik and Marik - An Emperor Scorpion (Agh! Also got thrown outside)
Even though Anzu's dead and the last three mentioned left early their gifts had been left behind. Afterwards everyone left with a party bag of goodies and a slice of cake, Seto laughed cos Joey got a doggie bag Yugi ran out of bags. When they had all gone..
Yami:*looks fondly at his hikari* Aibou this has been the best birthday ever arigato *glomps Yugi*
Yugi:*smiles*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bakura:*hits me over the head* BAKA! Look what you did to Malik.
Me:*rubs head* OW! *looks at Malik cowering in a corner* Don't worry I can sort him out. Hey Malik all those care bears died in horrific ways and got hung by their intestines.
Malik:*snaps back to reality leaps at me bangs my head on the floor while strangling me* Never ever fucking scare me that much again you fucking butch! Next time I'll kill you!
Bakura:*cheers* Yay you're back to normal *glomps Malik*
Malik:*snarls* Ack get off me you bastard *they walk away arguing*
Me:*coughs*
Yami: How come you re-did your very first ever fanfic when its already posted somewhere else, instead of trying to update "Love is bitter sweet!" or "Yugi's house burnt down"?
Me:*declares* Because I can do whatever I want I have the original hand-written master pieces so there, and O forgot how long it takes just to type up one chapter. Now where did I put my doughnut?
Joey:*sniggers* Heh heh heh.
Disclaimer - I *yawn* don't own Yu-gi-oh
Malik:*pokes me* Hey don't go to sleep now.
Me:*sleepy* Naze?
Yami:*scolds* Don't do that leave Ruth alone!
Malik:*evil grin* Give me one good reason Pharaoh.
Yami:*nervous* You really don't want to wake her up.
Malik:*laughs and keeps poking me*
Me:*jumps awake and shouts* STOP FUCKING ME POKING ME!
Malik:*yells* AAGGHH!
Yami:*blows raspberry* Told ya so.
Me:*annoyed* What do you guys want anyway?
Malik: Can I kill Anzu again in this chapter?
Me: Maybe in one of your dumb blonde moments.
Malik:*yells* NANI? *pulls out millennium rod* I'LL KILL YOU!
Me:*scared* Now Malik you don't want to use that *runs through house yelling* OH SHIT! *cornered* FUCK!
Malik:*evil laugh* Heh gotcha now bitch never call me a dumb blonde.
Me:*smiles* Alright I'm at your mercy *up against wall wraps arms around his neck and kisses him* Well that stopped you in your tracks *whispers* Don't tell Yami cos he's my fave.
Yami: What's going on?
Me:*runs to Yami and glomps him* Malik scared me.
Yami:*hugs me* Its ok now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day Yugi asks his yami a serious question (note - Ooooohhh a serious question)
Yugi: When's your birthday Yami?
Yami:*thinks then runs to a calendar, comes back* In two days time.
Yugi:*anime fall* Agh what am I gonna do?
Yami:*puzzled* We've been together for a whole year and you've never thought to ask that til now?
Yugi:*snorts* I had other things on my mind like trying to STAY ALIVE!
Yami:*shrugs* Good point.
Yugi: Come on lets go find Grandpa and see what he thinks.
The pair find Yugi's Grandpa cleaning the game shop.
Yugi:*smiles* Grandpa its my yami's birthday in two days time. What should we do?
Grandpa: Lets organise a party.
(note - yet another party I wanna live with them)
Yami:*half-smile* Do I get a birthday cake?
Grandpa:*nods* Hai! We'll also have a few party games and rent a couple of movies which, I'll rent instead of the others.
(note - looks like Grandpa don't want them watching scary films)
Yugi:*excited* Oh we could play pin the tail on the donkey.
Yami:*smacks head* I live with a 5yr old. Yugi I'm gonna be 5001yrs old, I don't want to play pin the tail on the donkey.
Grandpa:*laughs* At least you're older than me.
Yugi and Yami:*sweatdrop*
Grandpa: Hadn't you be on the phone calling your friends *yells* DON'T BE LONG!
Yugi: Hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two days later the living room is decorated with streamers, balloons and banners saying "Happy birthday Yami".
Door bell rings:*DING DONG*
Yami:*opens door*
All:*shout* HAPPY BIRTHDAY YAMI!
Yami:*wipes away a tear* Aw you guys.
Bakura:*mutters* Fucking Ryou dragging me to this to fucking hell hole *slightly louder* Fucking Ryou!
Yugi:*sweatdrop* Ryou aren't you gonna say something?
Ryou:*sadly* Nothing I say ever makes him shut up. I'm used to it.
Yugi: Come on in gang.
Everyone walks in.
Mai: Well lets get this party started *brings out bottle of Pepsi Max and several glasses* Lets play "I never" again.
All:*groan but go along with it since they can't think of anything else. All get a glass of Pepsi Max*
Yami:*grins* I'll start. I never mooned a truck driver before.
Seto:*glares* You're the one who fucking me dared me *takes a drink*
Bakura:*evil grin* I never had my swimming trunks pulled off.
Ryou:*mutters darkly and takes a drink*
Malik: I pissed in a swimming pool.
Yugi:*mumbles* Why bring that up? *turns red and drinks*
Seto: I never took a dump in a public place.
Joey:*takes a drink* I was only 3 I really had to go and there were no loo's nearby.
All: Eeewww!
Miho:*bored* This is dull lets play spin the bottle.
Mai:*glares* No one argue or else *spins empty Pepsi bottle it points to Honda*
Honda:*spins bottle it points to Serenity* Alright! *kisses Serenity lightly on the lips, she blushes and Joey fumes*
Serenity:*still blushing* Ok my turn *points to Miho*
Miho:*smiles* I hope I get to kiss Ryou *it points to Marik*
Marik:*grabs Miho in to a bear hug and practically slobbers over her face*
Miho:*screams* Ew Marik that's gross *wipes her face*
Anzu:*laughs*
Miho:*spins bottle it points to Malik she grins*
Malik:*points to Bakura*
(note - bet you knew that would happen ne?)
Malik:*evil chuckle* Lets give them a show! *he locks lips with Bakura for full on snogging action*
Anzu:*hides face* Yuck! They're using tongues!
All:*grossed out* PLEASE STOP!
Bakura:*breaks off and whispers* Save the rest for later.
Yugi: Err Grandpa and Miho brought some movies.
Everyone sits down on the coach except Malik who ran off to the bathroom. (note - I wonder why? Nope don't think I wanna know) Yugi puts in "The Wizard of Oz" Heh. When the munchkins showed up Malik was still upstairs.
Bakura and Marik:*scream* AAAGGGHHH! MUNCHKINS! FOR THE LOVE OF RA NO!!!!
Malik:*comes downstairs sees the T.V and dives behind the sofa and shakes like a leaf* Turn it off, turn it off, for Ra's sake turn it off!
Yami:*rolls eyes* You three are really strange. You know that? *pulls out tape*
Miho:*jumps up and slams in a tape* I got this movie from a friend of mine, she said she couldn't watch anymore preferred her violent Manga's.
The tape starts to play the care bear's movie (note - here's a hint to my age I remember the care bears first time round *shudders*)
Malik, Bakura Seto and Marik:*hide their faces behind cushions* AGH STOP TORTURING US!!!
The care bears begin to sing songs about love and caring while sliding on rainbows. All four boys freak out and run from the room screaming. Malik hides under a table, Seto runs up to Yugi's room, Bakura tries to get in to the cooker and Marik tries to stab his eyes out but was yelling too much.
Anzu:*sweatdrop* Why can't they watch anything happy for once?
Mokuba and Yugi:*whine* We were enjoying it!
Isis:*sighs* I'll go find my brother *finds Malik cowering under a table rocking back and forth* Malik come on out its ok now brother *holds out hand*
Everyone else is trying to coax Seto and Bakura from their hiding places, while Anzu grabs the knife from Marik. Yami is rolling around on the floor laughing holding his sides cos they hurt.
Malik:*runs to Anzu grabs her round her neck and grabs the knife* Heh ha ha ha *crazy evil laugh* I'll teach this care bear to sing happy songs *slits open Anzu's throat then drops her* Now for the rest of you care bears *evil grin*
Isis:*yells* OH MY GOD MALIK HAS LOST HIS GRIP ON REALITY HE'S MAD!!!
(note - well that's nothing new)
Mokuba:*hides behind Seto who came back downstairs* Help Malik is nuts!
Seto:*mutters* Blame Miho its her fault.
Joey:*picks up a frying pan and whacks Malik on the head* I always wanted to do that.
Serenity:*hugs Joey* Wow you were really brave.
Joey:*moans* Sis not in front of the guys.
Serenity: Gomen.
Yami:*wiping his eyes* Hmm he's out cold.
Isis:*picks up her brother* Yami I'm leaving early to take Malik and his yami home *dragging Malik leaves followed by a jumpy Marik*
Ryou:*comforting his yami who is still sobbing* There, there all the nasty care bears are gone, and Malik killed one of 'em *pats him on back*
Bakura:*sniffs* Ok Ryou though I don't like you I trust you.
Otogi: Man I'm starved can we eat yet?
(note - I thought someone was being quiet lol)
Joey and Honda: Me too.
Yugi:*nods* Food is in the other room there's plenty so.. *stampede rushes past him* don't rush *sighs*
Yami:*runs to food* Agh we better hurry before that pig of a tomb robber scoffs the lot.
(note - Mmm party food everyone the world over knows what party food is so I aint mentioning it, oh they got Oreo's man I love that American cookie. I know I'm rambling but for a short while they showed in England, I guess not many people liked 'em since I aint seen 'em in ages. We English are strange. I WANT AN OREO! Sorry back to the fic)
The group gathers round the party food and eat til their full, then Grandpa shows up carrying an iced sponge cake written on it "Happy birthday Yami". It only had one candle.
Yugi: 5001 candles wouldn't fit on so there's only one gomen.
Yami:*hugs Yugi* That's all right.
Otogi: Blow out the candle and make a wish.
Yami:*blows out candle*
When Yami had blown out the candle they sang happy birthday, except Seto and Bakura sang different words.
Seto and Bakura:*singing if you can call it that* Happy birthday to you, I went to the loo, I saw a fat porcupine and I thought it was you!
Yugi:*excited* Now its time for presents yay!
Here's a list of who got what for Yami.
Ryou - A beige sweater just like his (not Yami's style at all)
Bakura - A king Cobra (he hoped it would jump out of the box and bite Yami, seemed disappointed when it didn't)
Yami:*sarcastic* Nice try tomb robber *throws snake outside*
Bakura:*snarls* Fuck you Pharaoh!
Seto and Mokuba - A laptop computer with built in modem (remember chapter 4?)
Mai - A leather thong (?!)
Otogi - A starter set of Dungeon Dice Monsters. Honda - A porn movie (typical)
Joey and Serenity - A month's supply of hair gel.
Miho - A cuddly care bear (burn it later)
Yugi - A new muscle shirt (yay)
Anzu - A pair of pink slippers (gross I hate pink no offence intended)
Isis - A Scarab beetle encased in amber (pretty)
Malik and Marik - An Emperor Scorpion (Agh! Also got thrown outside)
Even though Anzu's dead and the last three mentioned left early their gifts had been left behind. Afterwards everyone left with a party bag of goodies and a slice of cake, Seto laughed cos Joey got a doggie bag Yugi ran out of bags. When they had all gone..
Yami:*looks fondly at his hikari* Aibou this has been the best birthday ever arigato *glomps Yugi*
Yugi:*smiles*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bakura:*hits me over the head* BAKA! Look what you did to Malik.
Me:*rubs head* OW! *looks at Malik cowering in a corner* Don't worry I can sort him out. Hey Malik all those care bears died in horrific ways and got hung by their intestines.
Malik:*snaps back to reality leaps at me bangs my head on the floor while strangling me* Never ever fucking scare me that much again you fucking butch! Next time I'll kill you!
Bakura:*cheers* Yay you're back to normal *glomps Malik*
Malik:*snarls* Ack get off me you bastard *they walk away arguing*
Me:*coughs*
Yami: How come you re-did your very first ever fanfic when its already posted somewhere else, instead of trying to update "Love is bitter sweet!" or "Yugi's house burnt down"?
Me:*declares* Because I can do whatever I want I have the original hand-written master pieces so there, and O forgot how long it takes just to type up one chapter. Now where did I put my doughnut?
Joey:*sniggers* Heh heh heh.