IV. STAR-LIT
Snape stored memories in his head like a filing cabinet; almost every memory he had was as clear as a picture. And he remembered what he had saw this morning.
It disgusted him. He hated Black. In the past, before he had joined up with Potter's group, Snape had liked Lupin. Now the lines were starkly drawn.
Snape's father had been like them. It had caused his mother and himself many years of misery. Snape wouldn't forgive his father for that.
He idly wondered if Potter's whole group was gay. It was an entertaining thought. Were there orgies constantly going on in the Gryffindor dorm? They were never away from each other. But James, as usual, was clawing for that Evans girl.
He sucked on his quill tip. He would watch Lupin and Black. He would catch them. And then he would inform the whole school of their relationship.
***
"Lily," James said. "What are you doing the next Hogsmeade weekend?"
"Not anything with you," she said.
Remus was the one silently backing up James in this asking out process. He felt the burn in his own heart. He wished he could see Sirius right now. But James's matter was more important.
James awkwardly stared at his cumbersome feet. "Are you joking?" he murmured, groping for anything he could classify as hope.
She gave him a softer look. It seemed like she might apologize, but her lush mouth formed an ugly line and her gaze hardened. James cringed slightly, but she didn't notice.
"You," Lily began, "are nothing but a show-off, James Potter. You are overconfident and lazy. You aren't good looking, either, despite your belief. Why would I be joking?"
And she exited with a slight swish of her robes.
They stood there, James's eyes drenched. James was going to cry any moment. "Shit," Lupin said, pacing slightly while James leaned against the wall, glaring at a tapestry of trolls in tutus, willing himself not to cry. "We need somewhere for you to go."
A handle appeared next to James's waist. Lupin quickly opened it, wondering why a classroom had appeared quite suddenly, but not giving it much further thought.
The room was dimly lit and squat cushions sat opposite an ornate, velvet-upholstered fainting couch. When Lupin closed the door, a sign on the back of it stated:
"This area is silenced.
You cannot be watched;
No one can enter from the outside
Unless they know the password."
"Well, what good is that? I don't know the password," Lupin said. He startled; he knew it. The password was tungsten. He would remember it if he needed to come here later...
James laid down on the couch. The ceiling was painted with the galaxies. A faint sweet smell of incense surrounded the pair.
"I don't ever cry," James said.
"Really?" asked Lupin.
"You made too big a deal over it. I'm fine."
"No, you're not."
James's cheeks were damp. "Damn it, Remus! What did I do wrong?"
"I don't know, I really don't," Lupin said.
A box of tissues appeared near Lupin's knee on a table. He sat on one of the cushions and handed James the box.
He cried for the first time with an audience.
***
Sirius and Remus wandered the forest and ground at nights together, usually a few days before the full moon, when Remus was restless.
The trees seemed to speak their names. "What's going to happen when we graduate?" Sirius asked, pulling back his hair into a loose ponytail.
"We could go to the Pyrenees mountains, or to the Alps, or Ireland. Anywhere we wanted to go, really," Remus said, sitting behind a particularly large tree, surrounded by Sirius's body.
"I want to go to Brazil," Sirius said. "I want to go during our winter and be dreadfully hot there."
"I don't care where we go," Lupin said, "as long as I'm with you."
Sirius kissed Lupin. They slowly undressed with practiced hands; the night was cool on their skin. Their legs and arms and lips entwined; they were as close to being a single breathing person as they thought they could ever be. Their love was star-lit.
Snape stored memories in his head like a filing cabinet; almost every memory he had was as clear as a picture. And he remembered what he had saw this morning.
It disgusted him. He hated Black. In the past, before he had joined up with Potter's group, Snape had liked Lupin. Now the lines were starkly drawn.
Snape's father had been like them. It had caused his mother and himself many years of misery. Snape wouldn't forgive his father for that.
He idly wondered if Potter's whole group was gay. It was an entertaining thought. Were there orgies constantly going on in the Gryffindor dorm? They were never away from each other. But James, as usual, was clawing for that Evans girl.
He sucked on his quill tip. He would watch Lupin and Black. He would catch them. And then he would inform the whole school of their relationship.
***
"Lily," James said. "What are you doing the next Hogsmeade weekend?"
"Not anything with you," she said.
Remus was the one silently backing up James in this asking out process. He felt the burn in his own heart. He wished he could see Sirius right now. But James's matter was more important.
James awkwardly stared at his cumbersome feet. "Are you joking?" he murmured, groping for anything he could classify as hope.
She gave him a softer look. It seemed like she might apologize, but her lush mouth formed an ugly line and her gaze hardened. James cringed slightly, but she didn't notice.
"You," Lily began, "are nothing but a show-off, James Potter. You are overconfident and lazy. You aren't good looking, either, despite your belief. Why would I be joking?"
And she exited with a slight swish of her robes.
They stood there, James's eyes drenched. James was going to cry any moment. "Shit," Lupin said, pacing slightly while James leaned against the wall, glaring at a tapestry of trolls in tutus, willing himself not to cry. "We need somewhere for you to go."
A handle appeared next to James's waist. Lupin quickly opened it, wondering why a classroom had appeared quite suddenly, but not giving it much further thought.
The room was dimly lit and squat cushions sat opposite an ornate, velvet-upholstered fainting couch. When Lupin closed the door, a sign on the back of it stated:
"This area is silenced.
You cannot be watched;
No one can enter from the outside
Unless they know the password."
"Well, what good is that? I don't know the password," Lupin said. He startled; he knew it. The password was tungsten. He would remember it if he needed to come here later...
James laid down on the couch. The ceiling was painted with the galaxies. A faint sweet smell of incense surrounded the pair.
"I don't ever cry," James said.
"Really?" asked Lupin.
"You made too big a deal over it. I'm fine."
"No, you're not."
James's cheeks were damp. "Damn it, Remus! What did I do wrong?"
"I don't know, I really don't," Lupin said.
A box of tissues appeared near Lupin's knee on a table. He sat on one of the cushions and handed James the box.
He cried for the first time with an audience.
***
Sirius and Remus wandered the forest and ground at nights together, usually a few days before the full moon, when Remus was restless.
The trees seemed to speak their names. "What's going to happen when we graduate?" Sirius asked, pulling back his hair into a loose ponytail.
"We could go to the Pyrenees mountains, or to the Alps, or Ireland. Anywhere we wanted to go, really," Remus said, sitting behind a particularly large tree, surrounded by Sirius's body.
"I want to go to Brazil," Sirius said. "I want to go during our winter and be dreadfully hot there."
"I don't care where we go," Lupin said, "as long as I'm with you."
Sirius kissed Lupin. They slowly undressed with practiced hands; the night was cool on their skin. Their legs and arms and lips entwined; they were as close to being a single breathing person as they thought they could ever be. Their love was star-lit.