Hey everyone! I thought this was going to be the last chapter, but I lied. Oh well, one more to go! Thank you for all the feedback! It's awesome! Enjoy the chapter and don't forget to write!
Read and enjoy,
-MC
P.S. Happy Holidays!
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You know what? Christmastime was definitely here. Gracious, it was Christmas day already and I was standing in front of the Christmas tree. It was a proverbial "Oh Christmas Tree" spectacle if I do say so myself. Kagome had found me decorating the tree with a glass of red wine (alone, per custom, Yasha was somewhere off in the desert for all I care, honestly, he doesn't know a good thing when its staring him in the face and he doesn't know when to not leave a good thing somewhere where someone could just steal it away, per chance, or whatnot) and decided to join me.
"You can't sit here alone with excellent red wine, decorating a Christmas tree. You could have asked me, you probably miss Inuyasha when he's gone like this," she said wistfully, making me smile in spite of myself and the absurd notion that Yasha could ever be missed in any type of situation.
"You're right, Kagome, I should have known you would have been willing to spend some quality time with the good ol' boss."
"Somehow that sounds dirtier than you probably wanted it to sound," she chuckled, rewarding me with one of her genuine smiles. I shot her a wolfish grin.
"It could be the wine, but I think I meant every word I said, innuendos included." I wiggled my eyebrows for the added effect while I poured her a glass of wine. While I brought it over to her, I allowed myself to press my chest against hers, holding the glass away from her at an arm's length. "It could very well be the wine," I whispered as I leaned into her further, pressing my lips against her ear, "but I'd like to think it was just you."
"Sesshomaru I—" I pressed my finger to her lips, silencing her. I didn't want to hear what she had to say; the lies, the excuses, the pathetic loyalty to someone who might be out screwing anything that somewhat resembles a female of the species. Her loyalty would prove useful if only she would dote on someone (cough cough) more appropriate and deserving of her affections. I pulled her close, testing my willpower to not kiss her as I brought her lips to mine. Against her lips I said,
"We have a tree to decorate," I couldn't resist licking her lips once before pulling away and setting her glass on the table behind her. Picking up a Santa dressed in beach clothes from the side cabinet, I turned away and started to decorate the tree once more. Pretending to look for a decent spot on the tree to place the ornament I closed my eyes, trying to slow my breathing to a normal pace. My mind played images of Kagome turning me around and confessing her love; Kagome whisking me around and slapping me and then kissing me senseless (this didn't make sense and yet it ended in kissing so I allowed it); Kagome whirling me around and pressing me to the nearest wall where she then set herself to the task of devouring me whole. And yet the only sounds I heard after a few moments were of her picking up an ornament from the side cabinet and placing it on the tree, acting as nothing happened. I wanted to shout and then push her into the wall and kiss her senseless and while we tumbled to the floor about to make love I would confess my feelings for her and yet I held myself back. No matter what I wanted to do, no matter what angle I looked at the situation, no matter how I felt, Kagome just wasn't wanting, feeling or even needing me the same way I wanted, felt and needed her. But still, even though I had this epiphany, I still needed to get her the perfect Christmas present; my heart would not rest until I accomplished at least that for her.
It took us about two hours to fully decorate the tree to Kagome's liking and the five glasses of wine she drank (I swear I thought she had three) had taken effect about an hour into the whole endeavor, so she was a little hard to please. Finally she was finished and I was about to lead her up to bed when she grasped my arm and whirled me around.
"Sesshomaru, I shink you look gorgeous tonight," she slurred a little, wrapping her hand around my neck to play with the hair there. With the other hand she grabbed the buckle of my pants and jerked me forward against her and once there she wrapped her legs around my waist in a sad attempt to jump up into my arms. I caught her nonetheless, fortunately, fully aware of her proximity. "Hey big guy, I don't feel anything hard down there," and she thrust a bit to make exactly where she meant known. My body, not able to deny her shot into attention and I blushed sheepishly to my pathetic reaction to her one thrust. "That's the ticket," she moaned, thrusting some more against me and closing her eyes to bring her lips towards mine. My hands, which were previously holding her thighs grasped her buttocks in an attempt to hold her closer as I started to bring us up the stairs, but the action only proved to draw a moan from both of us. Her lips were slightly brushing my own, but I held myself back, knowing that somewhere in the back of my mind in the land of decency, she didn't really want this, she didn't want me and it was just the alcohol talking. But the way she moved against me, the way she reacted and gasped when I kneaded her thighs was merely making my mind grow even more hazy and more excepting of her advances. Finally I reached my destination and half-paused when I went passed my door. I would never have unmarried relations in my mother's room and that was where I brought her. In fact, I don't think I would have any kind of relations in her room but that was just me, Kagome had other plans. When I laid her on the bed her legs refused to let me go which resulted in me falling on top of her. "Oh, now that's what I like to feel," she groaned. Not knowing what to do in the slightest I started rubbing her thighs, trying to get her off me. When that didn't work I went on to plan B.
"Honey, I have to get my clothes off," I said, my throat catching at the thought of having to convince her of this in real life, when she was completely sober and she would want me so bad I had to remind her of the basics. Finally she complied after pouting extraordinarily sexy, considering she was pretty tipsy and I was able to stand up. "Kagome, you don't really want this," I said once I was free, convincing myself that I didn't want to take her drunk. "You're a virgin; your first time should be special." She grabbed my shirt and brought me down to my knees to kneel next to the bed. She looked at me with what seemed a moment of clarity, tracing her hand down my face.
"You really love me, don't you?" She said, seemingly completely coherent. I stuttered.
"What, what does that have to do with anything?" She gazed at me, her eyes almost ready to tear.
"Inuyasha wouldn't have stopped." She turned away from me on the bed and I drew in a sharp gasp.
"Yes, you know he would, he would have stopped—" I mentally smacked myself, unable to understand why I knew he wouldn't have stopped her when she was so obviously asking for it and I was sitting her, at the threshold of having the woman I might—well, and I was here defending his nonexistent honor. What is my angle? Did I even want her to love me? And did I love her?
"Shut up Sesshomaru, go away." She huffed at me and I didn't know what to do. Should I just leave? Should I tell her that I was falling in love with her? My mind was on overdrive since my body was still stuck in "sex-mode" and it willed my feet to walk out of her room and into my own. Sleep never came and the next morning it seemed as if the whole night was simply a dream; or Kagome was a superb actress.
So far I had received five more presents from her, varying in size and shape and content. One was a book that I was dying to read (how she knew one could only guess), another was a cheese basket which was heavenly and we shared some wine and cheese in a picnic that night while we talked of many things. Even another was a rather funny snow sculpture of myself at the office; long hair, pensive expression, legs crossed at the ankle, reclining in my chair and tapping my pen on my mahogany desk. Another gift entailed the treat of getting a massage (how did she know I love this?) from a woman with hands sent from god himself, yet I couldn't help thinking it would have been even better if she volunteered to do it herself. Finally she gave me, yesterday, a great big hug (yes! Although I'm not quite sure this was in the package) and supposedly sent carolers my way (nooooo…), but I quickly shooed them out of the door, giving them twenty dollars not to tell Kagome that I didn't listen. Who knew if that worked out? And still I was clueless as to what to get her. I mean, of course there was still the, well, the, well, I had no idea! I mean, what could I get her honestly, when the only thing I was actually seriously thinking about getting her would fit around her right ring finger perfectly? I wanted to just, I don't know, claim her so no one else would ever mistake that she wasn't mine ever again. But my brain shut down when it came to that and decided to let propriety (which said that a. she was with Yasha still and b. she wouldn't say yes) rule my decision to opt out of that idea. So it left me, here, standing in front of the Christmas tree, with eggnog in my hands, without anything to offer her. Yasha was still not back from wherever he had to be and I was just standing her for god knows what. I was about to leave to go find her when she flounced into the room all ready to go outside; in her jacket and snow boots.
"I know what I want to do!" She said spiritedly and jumped over to me and grabbed my arm. "In fact, it's your last present," she pouted, but smiled once again at my odd expression. How many presents was this woman going to give me? It was insanity, honestly.
"What ever would that be?" I said, leaning down to get to her level while she put her hands on her hips and pouted.
"I don't appreciate you mocking me, Mr. Takamada," she huffed.
"Oh, so it's back to 'Mr. Takamada,' now, is it?" I smiled slowly, showing all my teeth to her while I mimicked her hands and put mine on my hips. "I have to say I liked 'Sesshomaru' better."
"Oh shut up, you old bag," she huffed again, hitting my arm.
"Just because I am, what," I scratched my chin, looking thoughtful, "seven years older than you, you deem it necessary to break out your mirage of comments about the elderly challenged?" She giggled and grabbed my hand. "Now, I don't need to lean on you yet, Kagome dear," I said, putting my arm around her shoulder and leaning on her, making her stumble out the door.
"Ugh, you're heavy," she mumbled under her breath, "come on, hand over the keys, you stingy old man."
"Why should I do that?"
"Because you belong in a convalescent home and shouldn't be allowed to drive when you're senile. See, you can't even remember why I should be driving. Honestly, I don't know how I put up with you." Kagome grabbed the keys out of my hands and pulled me to the car, shushing my protests with numerous "it's all right dear's" and "now, grandpa, hush's." I was steaming when she slid into the seat next to me. Turning the radio to a station with Christmas music she hummed to all of the songs while she drove me wherever, the soft melody practically lost on me, being livid and all. Although I was smiling, this kind of took the edge off my anger. "I've never seen you smile so much," she smiled as she stopped the car. Still smiling she put her hand on my thigh and I had to calm my beating heart. I was about to confess everything right there—the torment over the Christmas present, my feelings and the complete lack of anything to give her in return of her most generous offerings when her hand slid off my thigh and she pushed my arm. "Come on, let's go!"
I got out of the car and for the first time took a look around. She took me to an outdoor ice skating rink. How, how, Kagome. That was simply all that could describe it.
She paid for the skates and everything and after lacing up my skates for me (somehow this was a part of the gift, I suppose), she dragged me out on the ice without a backward glance. She was elegant and gentle as she glided across the ice, she wasn't exactly a natural, nor someone who could go to the Olympics and yet there was this confidence on the ice that I enjoyed to watch, hanging on to the side of the rink, gloved hands toasty. I wasn't the best skater, no doubt about it, but I didn't want her to think that I wasn't enjoying her gift (which I was, immensely, in fact) so I went out on the ice to join her; my legs were a little wobbly but I managed to make my way to her. Kagome laughed and smiled and grabbed me for a hug around the middle.
"You are too cute for words sometimes," she said, which was slightly muffled against my bulky coat. Putting my hands up to cup her face I made her face me gently.
"What did you say?" Was this some sort of declaration? Did she take me here to confess her undying love for me? Would I get what I really really wanted for Christmas? Would she do something desperately romantic for me or would she just stand here, with her eyes staring pleasantly into my own and confess; without pomp and circumstance, without anything yet the feeling and words?
"I said you're too cute for words sometimes."
"I thought so. Why do you say that?" She looked at me again in that manner and my heart thudded almost physically against the cage of my chest. I drew in a breath—
"Because I…Because I…" I stared at her, willing her to tell me, and then—
"Because I love it when you smile." Or not. I let out my breath severely disappointed. However, the evening proved special, she held my hand and steered me with great tenderness, her smile and laughter giving me memories of that night I shall never forget. I almost confessed to her myself after a particular bad fall, which landed her on top of me and I felt a jab into my stomach from her arm. Even through all the bulky coats I could feel her small frame, enticing me to wrap my arms around her waist in appreciation.
"You know, Sesshomaru, I wanted to thank you for the other night." I looked at her puzzled, unable to recall a time when she needed to give an apology. "I, I don't know, having Inuyasha gone and just being with you, I don't know, I've been, rethinking things I guess. What do you think about all this?" I really didn't have a clue how to respond and I opened my mouth to say something, anything to make the conversation continue when she got up slowly and reached out her hand to assist me as well. "I should have thought as much, I mean, I guess it was obvious, of course there isn't anything, I mean, yes." She was mumbling to herself and I was still a little angry that Inuyasha had wiggled his way into another conversation of ours without him even knowing it. I hated the power he seemed to have over her.
We drove home in strained laughter, I was trying to bring back the jovial mood of before and yet Kagome seemed bent on being pensive that night. However I got her to smile and chuckle a little as we walked into the house. I was in the middle of a particularly funny anecdote when she stopped in her tracks. There, framed by the tree was none other than Inuyasha himself, in all his glory and radiance (what am I thinking?) I mean, in all his stupidity and confusion. He smiled at her and I could almost hear my heart breaking as she ran into his arms and hugged him around the neck. She never hugged ME around the neck, which was the signature hug that meant a girl wanted you to kiss her. (You know what I mean? Around the middle are friends, side hugs are friends, and around the neck usually means that a girl likes you because when she pulls away she is right there in front of your face, ready for the kissing. It is an extraordinary fact, but amazingly enough, true most of the time) Inuyasha seemed knowledgeable of this fact as he leaned down and gave her a hard kiss, passionate like the ones we had shared before. I could only stand there in awe and utter heartache as she pulled away, half-smiling at him and sheepishly blushing at me. I wanted to march up to her and make her respond in front of him as she had those times before, so Inuyasha could see who she really belonged to and yet I couldn't bring myself to do it. My heart panged in my throat and there was nothing that could convince me that she didn't love me more than seeing her in Yasha's embrace. I'm pathetic.
"I have a present for you," he murmured to her, glancing at me and smiling wolfishly for some unknown reason. "Here, open it." Kagome's eyes widened and like a child she ripped open the paper and the box that held her present. She started to tear over a bit as she lovingly took out the pieces of paper that looked like plane tickets. Upon seeing her destination, I suppose, she flung herself in Inuyasha's arms and he hugged her back, glaring at me the whole while for some unknown reason in smug satisfaction.
"Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! You are amazing! How did you know I wanted to go to Australia? I have been wanting to go forever! Oh Inuyasha this is the—"
Oh my god, please don't say it, don't say it.
"—most perfect present ever! Thank you so much!" she kissed him again, but drew away quickly to do a cute little happy dance that made me want to make love to her right under the Christmas tree as Inuyasha watched on in pure horror. (Now, I'm not really kinky like that but I just want him to KNOW that I was the one to be her first, not him, not anyone else, but me. If she would let me, that is)
"The flight is tomorrow, so go pack and then come eat dinner with us," Yasha ordered, like some domineering boyfriend. Kagome jumped and hugged him again, laughing and then flying out of the room her happiness practically palpable. Yasha turned to me and then walked over slowly.
"You know, you could have left us a moment of private time," he said as he stopped in front of me. "But you just had to sit there and watch her, didn't you? You want her, don't you?" He sneered, anger coming off him in waves. "Did you even get her something for Christmas, dear brother? I asked you to take care of her while I was gone, not fall in love with her." His tone became more serious, "I'm going to ask her to marry me in Australia. She won't be Kagome Shrine anymore. And perhaps she'll loose something else there as well," he smiled wolfishly again. I wanted to smack him but I had no right. It would mean he won and he already knew he had the upper hand, something that had never happened before in my whole entire life. "I love her, I truly do," he mused and I lost it.
"Then where were you this past week?" Inuyasha flashed his golden eyes at me.
"I was off arranging everything for Australia and separating myself from a distraction that I want to claim as my own. You can understand that, can't you?" I sighed in annoyance and was about to retort when Kagome jumped in again.
"I'm packed! Let's eat, I'm so hungry!" She smiled at the both of us and followed Inuyasha into the dining hall. I was about to enter when she turned back to me and touched my arm. "I, um, I just wanted to thank you for everything you've given me these past weeks. I really appreciate it, Mr. Takamada, I do. I will never forget the time I spent here with you," she kissed my cheek gently and then walked inside the room, leaving me to whisper,
"Please, it's Sesshomaru."
I had lost her before I had even begun.