Midnight Perversions Starring Draco Malfoy
It's midnight, and you are listening to Hogwarts Radio. Draco Malfoy is an evil boy with a sexy sneer. Wait. NO, I AM NOT LUCIUS! LET ME GO! I JUST WANT TO SEE MY PRECIOUS BOY!
Disclaimer: I'm still flat broke people.
Starting Notes: Tawnyfawn, you rule! Crunchie, you rule! *clings to Tawnyfawn and Crunchie in non-perverse manner*
- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - Calls, Calls, and More Calls - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -
Draco Malfoy: Hello, and welcome to Midnight Perversions Starring Draco Malfoy. I'm a little spooked right now because I just found out Lucius Malfoy was the announcer man. Thank God it was handled, because he was hitting on me while announcing other shows for the night. Let's take our first call of the night...
Caller One: Hello. You know you miss Tipper! COME BACK TO ME, MY DAR-
*Phone Disconnects*
Draco: Prick. Next caller.
Caller Two: Honey, just come home! Your father won't do anything with me because he hasn't seen you and Ti-
*Phone Disconnects*
Draco: Bitch. Next caller.
Caller Three: What would happen if Dobby humped a broomstick of Harry Potter's?
Draco: You'd get a restraining order and you'd be classified as a freak. And you'd get a ton of splinters. Freak.
*Phone Disconnects*
Draco: Hermione, shut your muggle mouth, he's a freak. Next caller.
Caller Four: Lemon Drop?
*Dial Tone*
Draco: Next caller.
Caller Five: You stole my job, you git.
Draco: Severus!
Caller Five: You no longer have ties with your father, it's PROFESSOR Snape.
Draco: ...Do you have a question?
Caller Five: Yes. Yes I do. Why, young man, have you forced me to be stuck with the duty of comforting Tipper?
Draco: My father's freak, sir.
Caller Five: A five year old muggle child could point that out. No! Get away, Malfoy! GET TIPPER AWAY FROM M-
*Hangs Up*
Draco: FATHER, STOP BEING A BASTARD! Next caller.
Caller Six: I am not a bastard. I'm just pretentious and heteroflexable.
Draco: STOP CALLING!
Caller Six: Then have them give me my job back!
Draco: Do you know how mentally warping it is for your own father to hit on you!?!
Caller Six: Oh, but it's been a family tradition for years now for the fathers to hit on their sons!
*Phone Suddenly Goes Dead*
Draco: Thank you for pulling the plug on the phone, Hermione. That freak scares me. Turn the phone back on, please. While she's handling that, let's sneer and swoon.
*sneering and swooning, sneering and swooning*
Draco: Now that the phone is plugged in again, Next caller.
Caller Seven: Is S&M bad for you?
Draco: Depends, are you doing S&M with me?
Caller Seven: Uh...No.
Draco: Then yes, yes it is.
Caller Seven: HUMPH! NEVILLE, HOW CAN YOU RISK MY LIFE SO?
*Hangs up as grumbling in the background is heard*
Draco: Right. Okay, well, I'd say the show is just about over. But first, we shall take one more call...
Caller Eight: YOU CANNOT DENY THE WILL OF TIPPER! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Draco: SHOW'S OVER! BYE!
- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -
A/N: I know, I'm a freak. I'm not sure about this, but I think the name Tipper is Ivory Tower's idea. I'm not positive. But, anyway, I'm snagging the name Tipper XD
Thank you for reading and reviewing! *winkhintnudge*
It's midnight, and you are listening to Hogwarts Radio. Draco Malfoy is an evil boy with a sexy sneer. Wait. NO, I AM NOT LUCIUS! LET ME GO! I JUST WANT TO SEE MY PRECIOUS BOY!
Disclaimer: I'm still flat broke people.
Starting Notes: Tawnyfawn, you rule! Crunchie, you rule! *clings to Tawnyfawn and Crunchie in non-perverse manner*
- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - Calls, Calls, and More Calls - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -
Draco Malfoy: Hello, and welcome to Midnight Perversions Starring Draco Malfoy. I'm a little spooked right now because I just found out Lucius Malfoy was the announcer man. Thank God it was handled, because he was hitting on me while announcing other shows for the night. Let's take our first call of the night...
Caller One: Hello. You know you miss Tipper! COME BACK TO ME, MY DAR-
*Phone Disconnects*
Draco: Prick. Next caller.
Caller Two: Honey, just come home! Your father won't do anything with me because he hasn't seen you and Ti-
*Phone Disconnects*
Draco: Bitch. Next caller.
Caller Three: What would happen if Dobby humped a broomstick of Harry Potter's?
Draco: You'd get a restraining order and you'd be classified as a freak. And you'd get a ton of splinters. Freak.
*Phone Disconnects*
Draco: Hermione, shut your muggle mouth, he's a freak. Next caller.
Caller Four: Lemon Drop?
*Dial Tone*
Draco: Next caller.
Caller Five: You stole my job, you git.
Draco: Severus!
Caller Five: You no longer have ties with your father, it's PROFESSOR Snape.
Draco: ...Do you have a question?
Caller Five: Yes. Yes I do. Why, young man, have you forced me to be stuck with the duty of comforting Tipper?
Draco: My father's freak, sir.
Caller Five: A five year old muggle child could point that out. No! Get away, Malfoy! GET TIPPER AWAY FROM M-
*Hangs Up*
Draco: FATHER, STOP BEING A BASTARD! Next caller.
Caller Six: I am not a bastard. I'm just pretentious and heteroflexable.
Draco: STOP CALLING!
Caller Six: Then have them give me my job back!
Draco: Do you know how mentally warping it is for your own father to hit on you!?!
Caller Six: Oh, but it's been a family tradition for years now for the fathers to hit on their sons!
*Phone Suddenly Goes Dead*
Draco: Thank you for pulling the plug on the phone, Hermione. That freak scares me. Turn the phone back on, please. While she's handling that, let's sneer and swoon.
*sneering and swooning, sneering and swooning*
Draco: Now that the phone is plugged in again, Next caller.
Caller Seven: Is S&M bad for you?
Draco: Depends, are you doing S&M with me?
Caller Seven: Uh...No.
Draco: Then yes, yes it is.
Caller Seven: HUMPH! NEVILLE, HOW CAN YOU RISK MY LIFE SO?
*Hangs up as grumbling in the background is heard*
Draco: Right. Okay, well, I'd say the show is just about over. But first, we shall take one more call...
Caller Eight: YOU CANNOT DENY THE WILL OF TIPPER! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Draco: SHOW'S OVER! BYE!
- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -
A/N: I know, I'm a freak. I'm not sure about this, but I think the name Tipper is Ivory Tower's idea. I'm not positive. But, anyway, I'm snagging the name Tipper XD
Thank you for reading and reviewing! *winkhintnudge*