"The world is changing.
I can feel it in the air.
I can feel it in the water.
Then she appeared." (reading but not saying it out loud)
"Miss Lara, may I trouble you for –"
BANG.
Winston immediately threw up his tea tray by instinct. A single 9mm shot off the amazingly durable metal (must be British quality) and joined fourteen others in the floor.
"Winston, how many times must I remind you not to interrupt me when I'm reading. You know the consequences." A posh feminine upper-class British accent cut through the stunned (though you'd think he'd catch on by now) silence, laced with irritation and a hint of amusement. Without looking up from her book, the speaker put down her slim Beretta and turned a page with a practiced hand. Expected after finishing all the three books and the movie script from the Internet. "And let me remind you it was YOUR idea, after all, to enjoy literature." She rolled her eyes. Secretly she rather fancied the books but not much.
Just enough to read and stuff them down the toilet instead of Winston's throat later. Already a very dazed plumber had extracted several copies of The Chronicles of Narnia.
"Miss Lara, would you like a cup of-"
BANG.
Winston beat a hasty retreat.
~*~
The fellowship trudged out of Imladris, making their way to the mountain peaks of Carahdras; lugging along a rather odd company.
A Slivan elf, an elf raised human, a man of Gondor, four hobbits, a wizard and a pony. Throw in a grumpy dwarf and it completed the society of the Moody Fellowship.
Out of nowhere…
"Strider! Will we have elevensies? Or tea? Or supper?" A muttered combination of elf man and wizard could be heard muttering, 'fool of a took'.
When all of a sudden, somebody dropped out of the sky…
~*~
THUMP.
~*~
"I swear, I don't know how I got here," growled Lara as she slowly stepped backwards only to bump into a tree. Damn woods.
There was an arrow at her head, Anduril at her neck, an axe raised, four Hobbit daggers point first and a large oak staff all about to kill her. She may have hundreds of lives in the comp but gee, this is Middle Earth you know.
There was a hushed whisper, "Mary Sue."
"We must eliminate her, before she becomes one-"
"But she does not look like one of them-"
"She hardly looks like anything-"
"It's a *SHE*?!!"
"Ellesar! Appearances can be deceiving, as we have learnt…"
"I say we kill her now and get on with it. The last one was bad enough."
"SHE?!!"
Lara, in the meantime, is staring with disgust at Gimli.
"Do you ever clean that thing?"
Sorry. She was staring at the axe.
"I mean, if you kill me, you could at least do it in a gentlemanly manner. After all, that's not way to treat a lady."
Gandalf is making strange signals with the staff (So he's not going to club me with it). Suddenly he lets out a loud gasp.
"I.. I know what this creature is! But they do not speak of it!! It is a vile and wicked creature called a *Barbie Doll*!!!!!!"
Lara smacked her head against the tree.
~*~
Gimli is of course staring at her - erm… slightly below shoulder area with sick fascination. He's not the only one.
"Oh look!" breathed a very excited Frodo. "Is that some new kind of chain mail?"
~*~
We hoped ya liked that. Chapter two will show up later.
I can feel it in the air.
I can feel it in the water.
Then she appeared." (reading but not saying it out loud)
"Miss Lara, may I trouble you for –"
BANG.
Winston immediately threw up his tea tray by instinct. A single 9mm shot off the amazingly durable metal (must be British quality) and joined fourteen others in the floor.
"Winston, how many times must I remind you not to interrupt me when I'm reading. You know the consequences." A posh feminine upper-class British accent cut through the stunned (though you'd think he'd catch on by now) silence, laced with irritation and a hint of amusement. Without looking up from her book, the speaker put down her slim Beretta and turned a page with a practiced hand. Expected after finishing all the three books and the movie script from the Internet. "And let me remind you it was YOUR idea, after all, to enjoy literature." She rolled her eyes. Secretly she rather fancied the books but not much.
Just enough to read and stuff them down the toilet instead of Winston's throat later. Already a very dazed plumber had extracted several copies of The Chronicles of Narnia.
"Miss Lara, would you like a cup of-"
BANG.
Winston beat a hasty retreat.
~*~
The fellowship trudged out of Imladris, making their way to the mountain peaks of Carahdras; lugging along a rather odd company.
A Slivan elf, an elf raised human, a man of Gondor, four hobbits, a wizard and a pony. Throw in a grumpy dwarf and it completed the society of the Moody Fellowship.
Out of nowhere…
"Strider! Will we have elevensies? Or tea? Or supper?" A muttered combination of elf man and wizard could be heard muttering, 'fool of a took'.
When all of a sudden, somebody dropped out of the sky…
~*~
THUMP.
~*~
"I swear, I don't know how I got here," growled Lara as she slowly stepped backwards only to bump into a tree. Damn woods.
There was an arrow at her head, Anduril at her neck, an axe raised, four Hobbit daggers point first and a large oak staff all about to kill her. She may have hundreds of lives in the comp but gee, this is Middle Earth you know.
There was a hushed whisper, "Mary Sue."
"We must eliminate her, before she becomes one-"
"But she does not look like one of them-"
"She hardly looks like anything-"
"It's a *SHE*?!!"
"Ellesar! Appearances can be deceiving, as we have learnt…"
"I say we kill her now and get on with it. The last one was bad enough."
"SHE?!!"
Lara, in the meantime, is staring with disgust at Gimli.
"Do you ever clean that thing?"
Sorry. She was staring at the axe.
"I mean, if you kill me, you could at least do it in a gentlemanly manner. After all, that's not way to treat a lady."
Gandalf is making strange signals with the staff (So he's not going to club me with it). Suddenly he lets out a loud gasp.
"I.. I know what this creature is! But they do not speak of it!! It is a vile and wicked creature called a *Barbie Doll*!!!!!!"
Lara smacked her head against the tree.
~*~
Gimli is of course staring at her - erm… slightly below shoulder area with sick fascination. He's not the only one.
"Oh look!" breathed a very excited Frodo. "Is that some new kind of chain mail?"
~*~
We hoped ya liked that. Chapter two will show up later.